


Waiting for September

by Canidex



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Comfort, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, Fire, Firewatch au, Isolation, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Injuries, OT6, Paranoia, Phone Sex, Smut, Stalking, Voice Kink, Voyeurism, polygamous relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:20:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 163,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6174601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canidex/pseuds/Canidex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t supposed to be the perfect job, it was just a very fitting one for someone like him. 'Get away from the city, where there’s no one to talk to, just the way you like it, right?' He thought to himself. Ray had to remind himself of why he took this job over and over again as he hiked his way deep out into the Shoshone National Forest.<br/>The job seemed simple enough, hike out to the tower and spend all summer watching for fires. Simple, peaceful, and quiet, just what Ray wanted. Then the radio signals started, and they certainly wouldn't stop.</p><p>This fic contains massive spoilers for Firewatch</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Come in Two Forks

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This fic will contain massive spoilers for the game Firewatch. In the first chapter the ending of the game is spoiled so if you haven't played or watched Firewatch for yourself, I would highly recommend doing so. This fic is set roughly twenty-seven years after Firewatch and much of the story mimics what happened in the game to draw similarities to their situations so there will continue being spoilers throughout the entire story. If you're okay with that, then by all menas charge ahead. Otherwise, this was your warning. 
> 
> This will be my first time actually putting something up on Archive, nothing has ever really inspired me as much as this has and I decided I'd put it up. I started to write this when I finished watching Cry's playthrough and I'm having a lot of fun with writing it.  
> I like to write stories where the character's dialogue is the majority of the story and this has been a good way for me to practice with my regular writing style. Writing isn't exactly my passion though, I work with sequential art for story telling more often than not so because of this, I will be putting in my own art to show the scenes. Right now there's just sketches in this chapter because I don't really have the right pens with me right now. If you like the way I draw and want to see more, here's a link to my deviantart http://canidaperiap.deviantart.com/

It wasn’t supposed to be the perfect job, it was just a very fitting one for someone like him. 'Get away from the city, where there’s no one to talk to, just the way you like it, right?' He thought to himself.  Ray had to remind himself of why he took this job over and over again as he hiked his way deep out into the Shoshone National Forest. He and nature didn’t quite see eye to eye but it wasn’t very hard right now. He had to camp out once so far but it was much more pleasant than he thought it would be, especially with the hot summer air keeping him warm. Sure it was one hell of a hike out to Two Forks Station, but it was pretty peaceful.

Ray was pretty sure he was getting close to the station that would be his home until the summer ended. If he was reading the map correct, and the tiny little signs pointing him down the trails were reliable, then he only had a few more miles to go. He couldn’t wait to get there at this point, not realizing just how out of shape he really was until he’d really gotten into the trails. The sun setting didn’t really bode well for him either so he really needed to get in quick. Being stuck camping for the second night when he was so close didn’t exactly appeal to him at the moment. Maybe once he knew the area better, but for now he just wanted to sleep in a bed.

He was  little freaked out when he first saw the station, having to clear away some branches before he got into the clearing and craned his neck to see how high up it went. Ray’s mouth went a little slack, happy that he didn’t have any huge issues with heights. “This bitch is tall…” He said to himself before making the trek up the long winding staircase up to his nest. Despite the chipped white paint and the dirty glass, the station was actually built fairly well. It hardly wobbled any as he climbed up, though he supposed that might have something to do with how little he actually weighed.

He took the key he’d picked up at the ranger station before he’d made his way out there and opened the door. It stuck a little but he managed to get through with a shoulder ram to the old wood. Immediately Ray was struck by the scent of the stale air and decided to leave the door open for a while. He reached to the side, finding the light switch only to be disappointed when no light came on.

For minute he was confused and then he realized, forest, not exactly the prime spot for creature comforts. There was a generator somewhere nearby he remembered the ranger telling him, he just had to find it.

Ray leaned over the railing and squinted, with the sun setting pretty quickly and the dark settling in, it was hard to tell what he was looking at. A big yellow box with cables stuck to it  next to an outhouse was easy enough to spot though and he dropped his purple pack down before he made his way back down the stairs.

Thankfully it was pretty simple to operate. Most of the work had already been done for him, he just needed to turn it on. Once he did the station lit up bright yellow against the now dark blue sky. He smiled at his small accomplishment, now he could get some rest.

The climb back up was much more hopeful than the last, this time he had one goal in mind, sleep. He scooped up his pack and tossed it in the room. It wasn’t much, a desk with a typewrite, lots of paper and pencils, an old wooden chair, a small stove which he was sure he’d have to figure out how to hook up at some point, a sink, some cabinets, some weird map looking thing in the middle of the room that he just stared at until he concluded he had no idea what it was, and the delightful sight of his new bed tucked away in the corner. He noticed his boxes of supplies had been moved here for him and was relieved to see that he would have plenty food for a while. The plethora of windows surrounding the entire place would take some getting used to though he wasn’t sure if voyeurism was actually a threat considering how isolated he would be. The sight of a light in the distance outside of the window his bed was next to changed his mind though. Not completely alone. He made a mental note to change his clothes beneath the windows.

                                            

As if on cue, the sound of static started to resonate from behind him. Ray looked around for the source and saw there was a radio left charging on his desk. A voice came through, deep and calm but also friend, “ _Two Forks, come in Two Forks_.”

Ray shuffled towards it, not really knowing what to do. They didn’t really brief him on this and he wasn’t expecting to really talk to anyone, all he wanted to do was sleep right now. He debated just leaving it and seeing if they’d give up.

“ _I can see you by the radio, Two Forks, just pick it up._ ” The voice said after a minute, now they sounded annoyed. Ray picked it up, feeling himself pale at being called out. They were watching him? Ray looked back over his shoulder at the station in the distance. Definitely changing beneath the windows.

Ray pushed the button and mumbled back, “This is Two Forks… Who is this?”

The voice on the other end gave a deep laugh, “ _Hi Two Forks, my name’s Ryan, I’m in Thorofare Tower, just next to you._ ”

“... Hi,” Ray said, just to be polite. He had no idea who this was, the only name he’d been given on the phone was a Geoff Ramsey. He didn’t like to talk to people, that was one of the biggest reasons he took the job, “I’m Ray.”

 _“Nice to meet you Ray,”_ Ryan’s voice sounded amused, “ _So, what’s wrong with you_?”

Rays eyebrows knitted, his voice grew defensive, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“ _Easy, I didn’t mean it like that,”_ Ryan assured him, _“People take this job usually to get away from something. So, want to go ahead and get it off your chest?”_

Ray huffed, annoyed, “How about what’s wrong with you? I just got here and you’re saying that I’ve got to be a mess? What the fuck is that about?”

_“Hey, that’s a good start.”_

Ray turned around towards the station, as if he could see anything and fix them with a glare, “What?”

_“Go ahead, take a crack at it.”_

Ray took off his glasses, rubbing at his tired eyes, “What? You’re needy? Look I just hiked here for like… two days, I’m not in the mood for this. I just want to go to sleep.”

_“Come on, just a minute, we want to know about the new kid in the forest.”_

“Who’s “we”?” Ray questioned, he was seriously starting to get upset.

_“We as in the other firewatchers out here, including our boss.”_

Ray stiffened, their boss, “You mean Mr. Ramsey?”

_“Yep, that’s him.”_

“Well, look, I don’t really want a bunch of strangers knowing me, okay? I just want to sleep and then watch for fires until the summer ends.” Ray told the stranger on the other end. He didn’t come out here to be interrogated by someone miles away from him.

 _“Don’t like to talk to people, huh?”_ Ryan surmised.

“Not really, no.” Ray sighed.

 _“Alright, fair enough. I didn’t either when I first started the job. Just keep in mind that you’re kind of out there on your own. It’ll be pretty rare for one of us to ever come near another’s station and you’re the farthest one out there, Ray,”_ Ryan informed him _, “Geoff’s signal can’t always reach out that far so you’ll probably be getting orders from him through me.”_

Well that’s just great, Ray thought to himself. An entire summer with this guy talking to him all the time, “What kind of orders?”

_“Uh, usually it’s just to check out an area. Sometimes we get calls for questioning or to be on the lookout for stuff. I’m more centrally located than yours so if something’s going on around here I’ll report it and Geoff will tell one of us to go check it out. It’s usually just some kids causing trouble or some hikers getting overzealous. It’s just that this is predicted to be a dry summer and any little fire can quickly get out of hand.”_

“So, fire bad. Kinda knew that with the job. So what, I have to go put out the fires?”

 _“Sometimes, only if it’s like a campfire or fireworks. If you see smoke, call it in, we’ll figure out the best course of action. We keep in contact with one another a lot through the radios so that if anything happens someone knows what’s going on. So as much as you may not want to take to me, unfortunately for you, you’re going to need to in order to make sure you don’t end up in a ravine out there and we find your body next season.”_ Ray gulped the lump in his throat, Ryan’s voice sounded sincere though, even a little worried, _“We’re just trying to get to know you a little so we can make sure you stay safe. We don’t have to be friends, but it’s good to know the tendencies of one another so we can have a good idea of what one of us might do. You’re alone out there, sometimes people lose their minds, we don’t want that to happen to you.”_

Ray considered this seriously, that was why he figured he qualified for this, he was fine without people. He preferred it actually, he just stayed out of the way and did his own thing all the time. He hadn’t really thought of how he might take things as they went on though. He’d lived in a city all his life, people were everywhere. It might be nice now but along the way the distinct lack of people might start to get to him. It probably wasn’t a good idea to be so mad at the one person who could report him missing.

“Look, I’m sorry, I’m not good with talking,” Ray apologized, he lightened up. Ryan wasn’t trying to get in his face, he was just trying to say hello and , “But right now, I’m just really tired, alright? Can I just go to sleep and then we can talk tomorrow, when I’m not feeling like shit?”

 _“Yeah, hey, I’m sorry too. Not much goes on around here, a new guy is kind of a big thing. I didn’t mean to be so pushy, I’m not really good with talking to people either.”_ Ray could hear the awkward deep breath, “ _Uh, have a nice rest, I guess.”_

The radio went silent and Ray suddenly felt really bad, “Way to make a good first impression,” Ray criticized himself, he clicked the radio one more time, “You too, have a nice night.”

Ray rubbed the back of his head and put the radio back on it’s charger. He looked out at Thorofare tower and wondered if Ryan was watching him to. It was a little creepy to know that he could be seen, then again, these towers were surrounded with windows so it wasn’t exactly easy to not just look at your neighbor. He did have some concerns for how Ryan could see that he was at the radio though. How he could do that was a question for tomorrow though. Right now, sleep.

He plopped down on the bed, hearing the harsh creaks as the springs worked themselves back in shape. He grabbed up his pack and pulled out the one of his sheets, he’d worry about the setup tomorrow. Without even thinking he stripped off his shirt and threw it on the ground. Only to remember that he was surrounded by windows and a strange man could very easily see that. Ray covered himself with the sheet quickly and laid out as flat as he could, embarrassed. This was going to take some getting used to, that was for sure.

 

* * *

 

Day 1

* * *

 

The sound of his name being called over and over again with the cover of static woke Ray with a start. He wasn’t sure how long the calls had been going on but he got up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His whole body felt fifty pounds heavier than it was as he struggled to launch himself off the bed.

 _“Hey, come in! Wake up!”_ It took Ray to remember the name of his new neighbor, Ryan, right.

Ray picked up the radio and hit the button, his voice coming out groggy and his throat felt like it was stuck to itself, “Yeah,” He cleared his throat, “Yeah, I’m here! What’s happening?”

 _“Oh good, you’re alive.”_ Came Ryan’s voice, clearly amused. Ray squinted his eyes, he turned around, crawling back on his bed so he could glare back at the blur of the neighboring watch tower, he heard Ryan laughing like he’d leaned away from the radio for a second, _“Hey there sleepyhead.”_

__

Ray remembered that Ryan could actually see him and sunk down below the window to hide himself, “How the hell are you seeing me?”

_“Spyglass, you’ve got one too, in your desk drawer. They’re one of the few things we have that are actually really useful. You should try it out, you can spot things miles away, animals, nature, neighbors; looking good by the way.”_

Ray blushed, “Really not okay with that.”

_“Sorry, just curious what you looked like. Can’t see too much of you anyways, but you know, something good to know in case you wander off and I’ve got to go looking for you.”_

Ray groaned, “That doesn’t instill a whole lot of confidence.”

Ray reached down into his pack and pulled out a shirt, pulling it on while trying to keep away from the windows as much as possible.

 _“You should know what we all look like, it helps save confusion if we ever run into each other. That way you’ll know if someone’s a watcher or some punk running around. Get your spyglass, take a look at me.”_ Ryan encouraged.

Ray got up, grabbing his glasses and went searching through his desk. Sure enough a spyglass was sitting there in his desk drawer. He looked it over, looking through it and having to immediately rub his eyes after the weird focus he saw, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to see anything through this I already can’t see shit.”

_“I’ll stand outside on the deck, just come check it out.”_

“Alright.” Ray sighed, he walked out, the door creaking behind him. It was hot and bright  He followed the deck around to face Thorofare. He extended the spyglass, it zoomed in quite a lot actually to be able to cover all that distance. His eyes took a minute to adjust but sure enough, there on the deck of Thorofare tower stood a man. There wasn’t much he could make out but a blue shirt, jeans, and possibly blonde hair. He was kinda tall and muscular from what Ray could tell, and waving away like he was trying to flag him down. Ray gave a small laugh, “Having fun?”

He watched Ryan put the radio up to his mouth and pull his spyglass up to his eye, _“It’s pretty cool right? Good afternoon, neighbor.”_

“Afternoon?” Ray looked up and saw the sun high above him towards the west, “Jesus how long was I asleep?”

_“That’s why I was calling you. I wasn’t sure if you went off somewhere or if you were still asleep. Don’t worry about it though, the hike out here’s exhausting for everyone.”_

“Does that happen a lot? Watchers just walk off?”

_“Well, let’s just say that it has before. Everyone can forget their radios sometimes, when you’re new it just slips your mind. Kinda why I’ve been talking to you so much, it’s a thing we’re told to do, gets the new ones use to relying on them.”_

“And here I thought you just loved my sparkling personality.” Ray pouted sarcastically.

 _“Eh,”_ He could see Ryan shrugging through the spyglass. Ray chuffed, this guy was snarky, _“We’ll see. If you’re not usually so moody we might get along great.”_

“Well, I wouldn’t expect to hear much from me if I were you, I took this job to get away from people.” Ray told him honestly.

 _“So did I.”_ Came Ryan’s reply. Something about how serious he said those words made Ray uneasy. It was like his tone had become a warning, _“Remember what I said, you’re going to need to report a lot about what’s going on around you so we can make sure you’re alright.”_

“I’ll be fine, _mom_.” Ray laughed.

_“I’m just repeating what Geoff told me to tell you.”_

Ray perked up to that, he hadn’t heard anything from his boss yet, “Mr. Ramsey contacted you about me?”

_“He prefers just Geoff, the Mr. Ramsey thing isn’t his style kid,” Ryan spoke about their boss so casually, it made Ray wonder just how long he’d known him. How long had Ryan been out here, “And uh, yeah, I contacted him last night that you arrived. He tried to reach you himself but his signal’s not reaching right now. This happens sometimes, it sorts itself out after a while. By the way, I need to give you all of our frequencies, just so you’ll know in case you end up in someone’s section and need help.”_

“Right, I guess it’d be good not to die,” Ray concluded, “I’m going to get some paper then.”

_“Yeah, oh, and right these down on your map too, just so you’ll have backup. The map is your best friend out here, always keep it on you. Never know what could happen.”_

“Thanks again mom.”

Ray put away the spyglass, it felt weird now to not be looking at who he was talking about. Without the enhanced view he couldn’t see Ryan at all but he managed to tear his eyes away from the view to make his way to his desk and grab a pencil and paper. He also retrieved his map from his bag.

_“Ready?”_

“Yeah, go ahead.”

 _“Alright, well you know where I’m at, should be on your map, Thorofare,”_ Ray found the section on his map and circled it, writing Ryan inside the bubble, _“I’m frequency 15 on our radios. Just in case you ever forget.”_

Ray wrote the number fifteen in the bubble and write on the blank sheet Ryan’s name and number.

_“Next is Geoff, he’s in Clarks Fork, it’s pretty far out to the North. I don’t think you’ll ever make it that way, there’s a big cliff that borders your section that way. His frequency is 6.”_

Ray wrote the numbers down and circle off another area of his map. This time labeling it Geoff, “How many of us are out here?”

_“Six of us, now that you’re out here.”_

“Is that a lot?”

_“Uh… well, it’s more than we’ve had in the past anyways. I don’t fully know the answer to that, I’ll ask Geoff sometime. Anyways, Michael is one of your other neighbors. He’s west of you, past Jonesy lake in Washakie, we give him some shit from that from time to time.”_

“Why?”

_“His last name Jones, it’s just one of those funny coincidences. You can reach him pretty easily though on frequency 8. Kind of a temper on him, but don’t get too offended, he’s rarely as angry as he sounds. You two will probably get along great, you’re like what? Eighteen?”_

“I’m twenty six, but thanks for the compliment.”

_“Hard to tell from miles away. Yeah Michael’s pretty young like you too, he’s only twenty-eight.”_

“Are you supposed to be old when you come to work here?” The way Ryan said it just seemed like it was a requirement to be old and crusty, “How old are you?”

_“You don’t have to be, I’m thirty-five, we get all kinds. Younger ones are just rare.”_

“Are there any others around my age?” Ray asked while marking down Michael’s information.

_“One more, Gavin. He’s twenty-seven. He’s pretty close to you actually, further south in Wind River. His frequency is 7. He’s… interesting. Get’s on our nerves a lot but you get used to it. He’s also very British. Just putting that out there._

“What’s a brit doing out in Wyoming?”

_“That’s not really my business to tell you. We’ve all got our reasons, it’s always something personal. If he wants to share, he’ll share.”_

“Right, probably shouldn’t ask things like that.” Ray said apologetically.

 _“Eh,”_ He could practically see Ryan shrugging, _“We all get curious. None of us really get offended.”_

Good to know, Ray concluded to himself, “Who’s the last one?”

_“That would be Jack in Greybull, his frequency is 32, he should be up near the Wapiti area on your map.”_

Ray copied down all the information on both the map and the scrap sheet. He reached into the desk draws, finding so thumbtacks and pinning the frequency sheet to one of the wooden window frames above his desk, “So am I going to have to talk to these guys?”

_“You don’t have to, but you should. One way or another they will contact you at some point just to talk to you so, you know, I’d recommend being kind of nice considering we’re all you got out here.”_

Ray groaned into the receiver, earning a laugh from his neighbor. He was hoping to get it across to Ryan that he really didn’t care much for socialization but it didn’t seem like the watcher was taking the hint. Already he’d been speaking more than he wanted to. He just wasn’t cut out for talking with a bunch of people he was never going to meet. He wasn’t that great with people he did meet, for that matter. At social events he’d usually prefer just staying out of the way in a corner somewhere playing on his DS.

_“Just give them a chance, kid, we’re all a little awkward out here…”_

Ryan’s voice trailed off, the radio still transmitting. That was odd, Ray thought, he clicked the button, “You have a stroke old man?”

Ray groaned into the receiver. Earning a laugh in response _“... What? Old man? I’m only nine years older than…,”_ Again Ryan’s voice trailed off before Ray could dig into Ryan again he was cut off, _“Shit!”_

Ray pulled the radio away from himself, “What? What’s going on?”

_“Look out your west side, do you see what I see?”_

Ray looked out over his tiny counter spread of a kitchen. He waited, looking around for something. He was about to question what Ryan was freaking out over till a stream of smoke shot up into the sky and burst, small sparks of color flaring out at the ends.

“Are those fireworks?” He asked.

 _“Sure as hell look like them.”_ Ryan sounded furious and Ray gulped. When he was mad he was terrifying and Ray was miles away from him.

Ray watched another rise and pop in the air. He tried to think of what he was supposed to do, they really didn’t tell him what to do before coming out here, just report fires to the boss, “Do we call this in, or what?”

 _“No, no it’s not that serious. Not yet anyways. This is the kind of stuff that can cause fires out here, we’re trying to make sure that natural fires don’t go crazy and these assholes are just asking for one to start,”_ Ryan ranted, he gave a heavy sigh, _“You’re going to have to get out there.”_

“Me?” Ray asked incredulously, “What do I do? They didn’t tell me how to handle this.”

_“We watch for fires and prevent ones from starting if we can, this is an if we can type thing. It’s probably a bunch of kids fucking around, you’ve just gotta get down there and stop this.”_

“How?” Ray shrugged, he turned towards Thorofare tower. He wasn’t sure if Ryan was watching him but it just seemed right to gesture towards the person he was talking to, “I’m not the sort of beat the shit out of them type of guy.”

_“No, no, no! Don’t beat them up, we don’t hurt people. Just confiscate their fireworks and put out any campfires they might have started.”_

“Oh, right…” Ray flushed, “Wait, why am I doing this? I don’t even know the area yet?”

 _“First time for everything,”_ Ryan told him plainly, _“This is a good time to start figuring it out. I mean I can’t get out there, it’s in your section. Looks like it’s down by Jonesy Lake, that’s pretty much a straight shot west from your tower.”_

“So I get there, take their stuff, and then… what?”

_“That’s it, hopefully enjoy the rest of the day without having to worry about a fire.”_

“Oh… okay…” Ray shrugged again. He grabbed his map off the desk and his pack from the wall. It still had a full water bottle in it, perfect, less to pack. He quickly reached in and tossed things like clothes and sheets and a few small things out of it and onto the bed.

_“Oh, before I forget, there’s a few places around here you’ll need to rappel down. Do you have any rope? Any carabiners?”_

“Uh… no…” Ray bit his lip, he hadn’t thought to pack things like that.

_“Check the cache right by your tower then, it’s marked on the map, there should be some of those in there. We store all kinds of things in those, the code is 1-2-3-4, that’s for all of them by the way.”_

“That doesn’t sound safe.”

_“Shut up.”_

“Alright. I’ll check in when I get there.” Ray chuckled as he put on his pack, setting the radio in the mesh pocket of his strap, he also grabbed up his spyglass and put it in the side mesh pocket, just in case.. He slipped on the shoes from the last two days, grabbed the map and pulled his compass from his jeans. He still felt the grime from two days on him but at least he was ready to go pretty quick. Ray ran down the stairs, ready to go. He checked the map, seeing the little dot that said cache nearby, following the closest trail. He set off, keeping an eye out for anything. Sure enough, there was a yellow wooden box just off the side of the trail only a little ways into the woods with the shoshone national forest logo on it. That must have been the cache that Ryan was talking bout.

It had a small combination lock on it that clicked open when he put in the not so secret code. Inside were three carabineers that Ray strapped onto his belt and some old rope. He shut the cache and walked around with his compass and map till he found west again, luckily, it seemed like he had a trail to follow all the way there. It wasn’t a strenuous path, pretty easy actually, and very pretty. He was surprised that Ryan had stopped talking to him for long enough so he could the way the forest looked.

This is what he came out to experience. The beautiful sight of nature, not people running around everywhere, being loud and obnoxious. It took a while of walking but eventually he found where Ryan was talking about needing a rope. There was a rock acting as an anchor, covered in rope with a small loop with a carabiner for him to hook up to.

This was definitely a first for him. He strapped the old rope on and tugged on it a few times before dropping himself down along the wall. It was definitely strange to be walking sideways down a wall, the shale slipped a bit under his feet and he held the rope tightly. This certainly was not fun but he had to get down somehow and from what he could tell, this was the way. He started walking down the wall faster, not wanting to look down and see how much distance was between him and the ground.

The sound of a snap and sudden slack that had his stomach doing backflips gave him the answer anyways as he fell the rest of the way down the wall. He yelped as he was thrown skidding down the rest of the rock and into the grass below. His shoulders hit the ground the hardest and his vision blurred for a second as his head smack into the ground.

                                                                   

He let out a groan, just laying there a minute till he could prepare himself for getting up. That was not the way he’d wanted to start this job. Something about being safe that Ryan said resonated with him and reluctantly, he picked the radio out of his pack and held down the button, “Ryan?” He called, winded.

It took a moment before he got a reply, _“What happened to you, you don’t sound good?”_

Ray took a deep breath and cleared his throat, “I’m not.”

_“What happened?”_

“My rope snapped while I was rappelling.”

 _“Did you break anything?”_ Ryan’s voice was alarmed.

Ray moved his arms and legs, feeling them out, slowly he sat up with a grunt. He hurt all over but it wasn’t a this is not where it’s supposed to be kind of pain, “I don’t think so… I just thought I’d mention it in case I don’t come back.”

He heard that deep laughter again, despite being in pain and how much it annoyed him earlier,right now it was strangely soothing. He even found himself chuckling at the situation as well, _“We all take falls, Ray, this won’t be your last.”_

Ray strained his voice dramatically, throwing in an accent his mom often spoke with “But I see the light, Ryan, tell mi madre I love her.”

Ryan started really laughing now, _“Come on, get off your ass and down to Jonesy lake amigo.”_

Ray stood up, a little shaky and patted himself off. He was covered in dirt now, definitely needing to wash his clothes. Doing washing in the stream was definitely going to be interesting. He had bigger things to worry about right now, those kids could still be setting off fireworks somewhere.

_“So forgive me if I get this wrong but, does that mean you’re latino? Mexican?”_

Ray smirked, there wasn’t a reason to feel awkward asking that question as far as he was concerned, at least he asked and didn’t just assume, “Puerto Rican.”

_“Ah, sorry.”_

“Don’t be, most people can’t tell.”

_“You just seemed really pale through the lens.”_

“Yeah that’s from the lack of sun, I assure you I’m still a brown man I’m just usually a brown man hiding away from the rest of the world.” Ray joked, remembering his old nickname and the stupid story behind it. He still went by Brownman as his gamertag even after all this time, “And quit with the peepshow would you, I know it’s hard to resist the Puerto Rican Thunder but try to control yourself, dirty old man.”

 _“I’m not old!”_ Ryan protested but Ray could hear the amusement in his tone, _“And “Puerto Rican Thunder” better hurry up to the lake before that storm comes in and turns you into Puerto Rican Lightning.”_

“Alright, alright,” He conceded, checking the map, “I’m getting pretty close to the clearing.”

_“Keep me posted if you find anything. Oh, actually, if you need to keep your hands free you can actually keep the line open by hitting that big green button on the side of the radio. That way we can keep talking without you having to hit the button every time.”_

“Oh…” Ray said, trying it out, “Well that’s convenient.”

_“The only frequencies these things get are the ones in our section they’re set up so we can talk back and forth even while someone else is talking. Multiple frequencies can be going at the same time, like real talk.”_

“That’s pretty cool…” Ray commented enjoying not having to keep the side pressed.

_“Yeah, it gets a little annoying sometimes when everyone’s talking at once though.”_

Ray hummed in agreement, he wasn’t sure what kind of crazy talk sessions went on between the watchers but figured it was likely a mess when five people were talking at the same time.

Ray dropped down from rocky drop into the clearing. It was pretty, grass glowing orange from the sunlight. Big rocks were scattered around the area making it look like nature made it’s own zen garden. It would have been even prettier if there wasn’t a bunch of beer cans scattered around and a campfire left smouldering.

“Oh great…”

_“What?”_

“Found a bunch of beer cans,” Ray reported walking over to the mess, he started picking up the cans, crushing them first so that could toss them in his pack better. On one of the rocks he found what he came down for though, “And here’s the fireworks. Just laying around while a campfire's still going only a foot away.”

Ryan made a sound of disgust, _“Dumbasses, they could have started a really bad fire that way. Does no one look at the fire codes? I mean, shit, they’re color coded. A fungus could figure it out.”_

Ray snorted at the image of mushroom reading up on fire safety, Ray took the fireworks and shoved them in his bag, “I guess not,” Ray started stamping out the fire, “Well, they aren’t here, what should I do?”

_“Look around, they can’t be far. They need to know they can’t be starting fires around here.”_

Ray huffed an exhausted sigh, “Alright.”

He followed the bits of trash laying around, picking them up as he went, “These assholes drink a lot of beer, like a LOT of beer.”

_“Anything good?”_

Ray shrugged despite Ryan being unable to see him, “Not a drinker, wouldn’t know.”

_“Oh? Keeping yourself clean?”_

“Nah, just tastes like shit.”

_“Fair enough.”_

Ray bent down to pick up a can only to come back up with to the sight of clothes hanging off a boulder, “Oh… Hey, I found their clothes,” He looked around, eyes laying on two packs nearby, “And their packs.”

_“Leave their stuff alone, we don’t need any harassment reports coming in.”_

That was fine by Ray, he didn’t want to touch their stuff anyways. He kept following this path though, looking for more breadcrumbs. One in particular hanging above him on the broken branch of a long since fallen tree.

“Uhhhhh…”

_“What was that?”_

“There’s a bra in the tree…”

_“Topless firestarter, interesting.”_

“What do I do about that?”

_“I’d leave it for it’s owner, but hey, after they leave if it’s still there I won’t tell anyone if you decide it’s your color.”_

“Ha. Ha.” Ray shook his head. Ryan the humor guy.

Further down the trail he found the bra’s match, “Oh great, she’s naked.”

_“Found the bottoms?”_

“Yeah,” Ray grabbed a stick and used it to lift the frilly laced panties up. He kept walking along, keeping them a good distance away from himself, “What should I do?”

_“Usually guys your age would kill for an opportunity to see a naked girl.”_

Ray stopped and threw away the panty stick when he saw another set of women's underwear along the patch, “Okay, there’s two. There are two naked ladies out here.”

_“Jobs not that bad afterall, huh?”_

“I don’t know how to handle this.”

_“Just forget about them being naked then. All you have to do is get the message across and then leave. I’m shocked you’re not okay with this, usually most guys have to be told to control themselves.”_

“Super drunk naked pyros in the forest aren’t really my thing.” Ray told him. His head shot up when he heard laughter in the distance along with splashing, “Oh god, they’re skinny dipping.”

_“Well, you won’t have to get close to them anyways.”_

“I’m going to turn off the radio for a minute.”

_“Why?”_

“In case I embarrass myself,” Ray explained, “I’d don’t exactly want you to hear me if I make a fool out of myself.”

_“Alright, let me know how it goes later then.”_

“Yeah.” Ray hit the button on the radio, hearing the static shut off. He followed the path out to the lake. The first thing he noticed was a speaker where one of the girl’s phones was hooked up. As he turned to see the lake he saw them there. Two drunk girls, younger than him, playing in the water like five year olds and completely naked. They were laughing like idiots but they didn’t notice him at the shore, they were looking at the other shoreline.

                                                            

Ray squinted his eyes, he couldn’t see anything from here, then he remembered, he had the spyglass now. He reached back and pulled it out, pointing it towards the shore. Sure enough, there was a guy on the other side. Curled red hair capped under a beanie and one hell of an angry face.

Then he heard the yelling.

“YOU ASSHOLES BETTER GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF THE WATER AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”

Ray’s eyes went wide. He could hear him all the way across the lake. The girls wer just laughing at him though.

“Hey! Fuck you! We do whatever we want, jerk!”

“Yeah! Fuck you, you DICK!”

Their slurred voices made Ray sick. He briefly wondered if the lake had any bacterial issues that would cause swimmers to get sick. Probably not out here though.

“YOU CAN’T LIGHT FIREWORKS OUT HERE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” Came the aggressive reply.

“Who is this guy?” He asked, mainly to himself. He tried to think about who would be out here. He seemed concerned about the fireworks, was he another watcher? Then he remembered from the information Ryan gave him earlier. Jonesy lake, one of the watchers was stationed near here, Michael Jones. He remembered Ryan thought it was funny because of his name.

“That must be him,” Ray concluded, “He does have a temper.”

All of a sudden, Ray’s radio clicked on. He expected to hear Ryan’s voice but instead a much younger voice came through, it sounded kind of hoarse and very upset, _“Hey, you! You the new guy?”_

Ray could just barely hear the voice echo from the other side of the lake. He picked opened the line and looked through his spyglass, seeing him on the other side doing the same. Ray felt a chill up his spine, that was a little creepy.

                                                                  

“Yeah, I’m Ray.”

The girls turned towards him, being much closer to his shore they could hear him much clearer. They started yelling at him but Ray didn’t pay any attention. He was more focused on the guy across the lake.

 _“Michael,”_ They confirmed, _“Ryan send you out?”_

“Yeah, it’s my section, right?” He asked, genuinely confused.

_“The lake is half yours half mine, you’ve got that shore.”_

“Oh, okay.”

 _“So would you do me a favor, since you’re on that side?”_ Michael asked.

Ray shrugged, “Sure, what?”

_“Drop their stupid fucking speaker in the lake and get these two fucking cunts out of here. I’m tired of screaming my lungs out at them.”_

That didn’t exactly appeal to Ray. Ryan just told him not to fuck around with their stuff.

He turned his attention to the girls, one of them flipping him off, “Hey!” He called out to them, “You can’t light fires out here!”

“FUCK YOU CREEP!” One of them hollered at him, words slurring.

“FUCK OFF ALREADY!”

“You’re the ones that need to leave! You’re littering and setting fires out here! You could end up burning this place down!”

“LIKE WE CARE!”

“YEAH, FUCKING NERD!”

Now Ray could see why Michael was pissed. His eyes went over to the little speaker. He knew that type, that speaker was almost a hundred dollars. Michael’s plan was sounding really good.

"What a creep!" He could hear one of the girls turn to her friend and say with an annoyed huff.

"Forget him," The other brushed off, "He's just some lonely guy who bosses people around and has to spie on girls for kicks!"

That was it. Ray went over to their set up and unplugged the phone, holding the speaker in his hand precariously.

“HEY PUT THAT DOWN!”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU ASSHOLE!”

“Lonely, huh? FUCK YOU! Still think fires are a joke?!” He shouted at them, “You think it’s okay to risk the lives of people and animals out here?”

“FUCK YOU! YOU CAN’T THREATEN US!”

“TRY ME!” Ray shouted at them, starting to get pissed off. How drunk or stupid were these bitches?

“YOU FUCKING PERVERT! PUT DOWN OUR SHIT!”

“OH!” Ray threw in a dangerous tone, “WELL I GUESS IF IT’S JUST ‘SHIT’ THEN.”

With that he drew his arm back and slung the speaker as far out into the lake as he could. He heard Michael laughing through his radio and the girls shrieking as if they’d just been stabbed.

Ray threw up his arms waiting for more shit talk, "FUCK YOUR MUSIC! NOW WHAT!?"

“YOU FUCK!”

“WE’RE TELLING THE POLICE!”

“YOU CAN’T JUST FUCK UP OUR SHIT!”

Ray just stood there as they went on and on about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole he was. Michael, quite the contrast, was cheering for him. Ray didn’t even need to look through the spyglass to see how animated he was on the other shore, jumping up and down. He was getting tired of these girls though and picked up the phone next.

“KEEP IT COMING! I CAN THROW THIS IN TOO!” He yelled. Immediately the girls shut up. That’s what he thought, “NOW GET YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT OF SHOSHONE NATIONAL FOREST!”

At his threat the girls started heading towards the side shore, covering their bodies as they got out of the water. It seemed that they were trying to avoid both Michael and Ray’s sides of the lake.

“ _Nice dude.”_ Came Michael’s laughter.

Ray came down from his little rage fest, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

_“Nah, don’t worry about it. I do that shit all the time, they’re a couple of brats, the cops don’t give a shit if they get their shit smashed for being idiots, not when they could have started some really bad fires.”_

Ray figured he’d just take that optimistically for now. What was done was done.

_“So you’re up in Two Forks, right?”_

Ray sighed, here came the awkward conversations again, “Yeah, and you’re the guy in Wa… Wash… Wash khaki’s?

 _“Washakie,”_ Michael correct, he could hear him laughing muttering _“Wash khaki’s?”_ under his breath, _“Anyways, we’ll probably see each other around some time. I take hike’s out this way a lot.”_

“I wouldn’t count on it too much,” Ray told him honestly, “Not really a sociable person.”

 _“Well neither am I but we all have to work together, you know,”_ Ray supposed there was some truth to that, _“Better head back for now, that’s storms coming in from your side. Call me if you want to talk.”_

“Alright.” Ray said just to be polite. He watched Michael disappear into the treeline across the shore before he turned and started heading back towards his own station. He almost forgot that he should probably tell Ryan about what just happened and reached for his radio again, “Ryan?”

 _“Yeah?”_ Came the deep voice, he recognized.

“It’s done, I’m heading back.”

_“How’d it go?”_

Ray cursed, that was the one thing he didn’t want to be asked, “Might have gotten a bit... excited.”

Ryan’s voice dropped to suspicion, _“And what does ‘excited’ mean?”_

“I might have thrown their speaker in the lake…” Ray admitted, he stopped hiking waiting for the reprocution.

To his surprise he got laughter, _“Let me guess, that wasn’t your idea?”_

Ray’s eyebrows knitted, a little confused, “Uh, no actually, it wasn’t.”

_“Yeah, Michael was there, wasn’t he?”_

“Yeah.” Ray answered honestly.

 _“Uh huh,”_ Ryan sounded so nonchalant about it, _“He always does that.”_

“Seriously?” Ray asked.

_“Oh yeah, there’s gotta be some serious loot on his side of the lake. He always grabs the most expensive shit he can find and tosses it in there.”_

Ray just shrugged, “Huh… So, am I in trouble?”

_“Well you shouldn’t do it but I think the cops will just write it off as Michael again. They’re use to this kind of thing. They tried to seriously get him once but Michael’s a really convincing little shit. They stopped caring, pretty convinced that these kids did deserve it. Wrecked speakers versus burnt down forests, there’s just no match.”_

“I mean, they’re gone.”

 _“Yep, good job. Now get back to your station, it’s getting dark and you’re going to want to beat that storm.”_ Ryan warned him.

“Fine by me, oh wait,” Ray remembered the broken rope. He didn’t exactly have a spare, “How do I get back? I lost my rope.”

_“There’s always more than one way to go Ray, check your map.”_

Ray brought it up, looking over the trails. There was another following the stream that ran into the lake, “What about this one on the stream.”

 _“That one’s good, there’s a cave there you can cut through and use to get back to your tower faster. Go for it.”_ Ryan approved.

“Alright.”

The path was really easy. Just follow the stream, it was hardly even that though but Ray figured that was just from the weather. It was kind of long though, by the time he found the cave opening the sun was starting to set.

He climbed up to the cave opening and went in testing the echo like a kid. He turned his radio on with a prank in mind, “Hey Ryan, I found the cave.”

_“That’s good. Be careful there, I don’t know what it’s like in there.”_

“It’s pretty cool, there’s this huge drop tho- WHAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” Ray took his hand off the button snickering to himself as Ryan frantically shouted his name.

_“RAY! RAY! OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY!? ANSWER ME!”_

Ray couldn’t stop laughing as he pushed the button in again, “Hi.”

He was rewarded with just fuming static from Ryan’s side, _“...You piece of shit.”_

Ray just kept laughing as he made his way through the cave, the echo made it even funnier to him, “I couldn’t miss the opportunity.”

 _“Don’t cry wolf, Ray.”_ Ryan warned him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ray brushed off. A splash of color to his right caught him off guard. There was an area of the cave barred off and gated, the metal covered in chipped yellow paint and rust, “Hey, what’s with this gate?”

_“What gate?”_

“There’s this old gate in here, it’s blocking off the rest of the cave,” There was a sign on it and Ray squinted in the dark to try and get a better look at it. He took off his pack and rummaged through until he found his flashlight at the bottom, “There’s a red sign, 452. And a yellow sign saying it’s closed. Anything I should be worried about?”

_“Oh, that’s just there to keep hikers from killing themselves. Caves out here can be pretty intense. That’s just there saying if you want to go spelunking you need the keys from the ranger station first. Helps us know that when someone goes missing, we might need to check that cave.”_

“Is it really that dangerous?”

_“Can be. Don’t worry about it though, the lady up at the ranger station hasn’t seen those keys for years. That little cave isn’t exactly a tourist attraction. I think… hang on… I think that’s the cave that some kid died in in like the 80’s.”_

Ray backed up immediately, “You’re telling me this now? After you told me to take this way home, a kid died here?”

_“I couldn’t remember, I was just looking at the map.”_

“Jesus Ryan, what are you going to lead me off a cliff next?”

_“No, look, you can’t even get into that part of the cave just get through it if you’re so worried.”_

That was starting to sound like a really good idea with the thought of potential death looming close by. He saw an exit to his left, just a small climb out. Ray took a running jump, managing to propel himself most of the way up. He hoisted himself up the rest of the way, crawling over the edge with a grunt. He concluded that he needed to work on his climbing after the way things had gone for him today.

The sky was dark by the time he got out of the cave. Luckily there was still some light left to see by. The rumbling in the distance did not bode well, he needed to get back pretty fast. He checked his map, if he was right then there would be a path off to his right and he’d already be really close to his tower. As he followed the map he thought for a minute it was lying. There was a path marked on the map but he couldn’t see it. Then he noticed that the path went up the rocks. Ray huffed, thinking back to how he’d just thought about getting more climbing practice, “That was not a request…”

Just as he climbed up the first rock he felt a raindrop on the back of his neck and shivered, “Fuck…”

He hustled up the rocks and found a slanted, narrow path up along the wall. He quickly tried to get up it as fast as he could but very quickly gave up as the rain went into a downpour. At this point he just figured he was going to get soaked no matter what.

“At least it’s warm out…” Ray sighed, and he supposed that just made things easier for them that night. A little rain to keep everything wet for a day or two.

The sound of footsteps above him made him stop. He turned towards the noise out of refle and was met with the bright sight of a flashlight beam in his eyes, “Oh, shit…”

Ray squinted, trying to take a look at who was watching him but then they ran off. Ray blinked the spots from his eyes and tried to shake the stun, who the fuck was that?

                                                                    

“Hey!” He called, “What are you doing!?”

There was no answer, and they were likely long gone. There was certainly no way he could catch them, they were up at the top of the steep climb Ray was only halfway up. Not knowing what to do, Ray turned to his radio, “Ryan there was some guy out here.”

_“Some guy?”_

“Yeah, he was just watching me, he gave me the creeps.”

_“What’s he doing now?”_

“Well, he ran off but he was just looking at me, shined his flashlight into my fucking eyes, like shit, as if my eyes weren’t bad enough.”

 _“Don’t worry about it, people come in and they leave all the time, it’s the outdoors. Probably just a camper, I bet they were scared when they saw you too.”_ Ryan assured him, _“You’re still not back in your tower? It’s raining there right?”_

“Yeah, don’t remind me. I’m already soaked,” Ray grumbled, he climbed up another ledge with a grunt, “Fuck, I’m out of shape.”

_“Climbing? Not really your thing today, is it?”_

“Don’t remind me of that either!” Ray grunted. He dusted off his chest, now covered in dirt. Light caught his eyes and he looked up to see Ryan’s tower in the distance. A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, “Burning the midnight oil for me or do you always leave your lights on this late?”

_“Just making sure you get back alive. That and my lights are almost always on, I stay up a lot.”_

“Doing what? We’re not exactly busy?” Ray asked quickly checking his map. The trail behind him was nearly a straight shot to his cabin and he took off down it, ready to get out of his wet clothes and sleep.

_“I do lots of things. Mostly writing and drawing things, puzzles, building weird and pointless shit, you start finding a lot of things to occupy your time with.”_

“I just brought my DS.”

_“You sound just like Michael.”_

“He plays too?”

_“Oh yeah, we all play. I’m more PC though. The others like xbox and playstations more.”_

“Oh sweet, same,” Ray actually laughed, “I didn’t know we were all gamers, that’s pretty awesome.”

_“Yeah, we all meet up at the end of summer and have a night where we just play and drink. Kind of a tradition at this point.”_

“Jesus, how long have you guys been doing this?” Ray asked, somewhat concerned.

_“A while… Let’s see, Geoff’s been out here every summer for about ten years, then Jack was out here for nine, I’ve been here for seven. Michael and Gavin only recently joined us annually, let’s see, I’d say four years ago was when Gavin joined and then Michael came in three years ago.”_

Ray’s eyes went wide, “Wow… you guys are dedicated.”

_“We’re pretty close. It’s just something that happened. You’re stuck out in the middle of the forest and these are your options for companionship, you just grow on each other.”_

“What about after summer? Where do you go?”

_“We spend about a week in town and then figure out where to go then.”_

“Wait, you guys go together?”

_“Yeah, we stay together.”_

“Really?” Ray was surprised, that just seemed a little extreme.

_“Like I said, we’re close. It just makes sense too, we keep each other going while we’re all looking for jobs during the other seasons. Usually we go down to Texas, there’s usually work there for us.”_

“So wait, none of you guys have girlfriends or wives or anything?” Ray asked. He moved some branches out of his way as he finally came out at the base of his tower. Finally home.

There was a pause from Ryan’s side, Ray nearly repeated his question but he heard the static on the other side, _“...No, we don’t. Wouldn’t really work anyways, we’re gone for three months out of the year, not many people are okay with their partners doing stuff like that.”_

Ray wondered about Michael and Gavin, they were around his age right? That was pretty young for them to just join the kind of life that took away three months of every year and then travel around with a couple of older guys who’d also resigned themselves to it.

“So do most firewatchers group up like that?” He asked, climbing the stairs to his tower. At least he had some cover from the rain now. He had to take his glasses off and clean them though as they gathered water that had soaked his hair.

_“No, just us in this section. It wasn’t planned or anything, we all just became friends and then Geoff asked if we’d like to join and we said yes. It’s actually really nice, we can talk about literally anything with each other, no worries about saying things that might be inappropriate to the workplace, we can drink all we want because Geoff drinks way more than us anyways. We know pretty much anything about each other at this point.”_

Ray opened the door to his tower and tossed his pack in the chair at the desk. He stared at the floor thinking about what a life like that would be like. Constantly surrounded by people you’d be with the entire year, even if that meant spending the summers far apart. Though, that was probably a good thing, three fourths of the year living with each other and then three months apart to get some distance in. Actually, it did kind of sound nice, even if they didn’t have partners they weren’t alone. Ray turned on the light and blinked at the sudden brightness.

_“Oh hey, welcome home.”_

“Yep, made it back, dripping wet, but back” Ray sighed, “Could be worse, I could be those girl’s speaker at the bottom of the lake right now.”

“Yeah, that would definitely be worse.”

Ray closed the line on his radio and set it on the charger before he peeled his soggy shirt off of his body. He grabbed his glasses as he rolled the shirt over his head and put them on the desk as well. He tossed his shirt on the back of his chair for now, he wouldn’t be using it tonight anyways, not with how sore he was from that fall and the several climbs he had earlier. His jeans were a pain in the ass to get out off. The heavy material clung to him all the way down and he had to jump to get out of them.

The radio on his desk crackled behind him, _“Nice shorts.”_

Ray whipped his head around at the radio as if Ryan was actually there. He blushed at having completely forgotten that Ryan could see him in his tower whenever he felt like it. More specifically right now though as he was watching Ray strip down to his purple boxers. He was really glad that he hadn’t taken those off yet.

Ray opened his line again, “Will you quit spying on me! Jesus, I’m almost naked.”

_“Yeah, I was warning you before you got to that point. I was honestly just checking to make sure you came back in one piece, you did fall down a long drop earlier.”_

“I’m fine, now quit being a peeping tom.” Ray said definitively. Just as a precautionary measure he turned the light back off as he changed out the rest of his clothes. The only thing he heard from Ryan for the rest of the night was that deep voice laughing his ass off at Ray’s embarrassment. He wondered if there was anything he could use nearby for curtains.

 


	2. Teen Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second day begins worse than the first with the lines being down over night. It's another busy day ahead going out to find the problem with Ryan with him every step of the way. Things aren't as routine as they would like however and Michael get's called in for some extra assistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not updating the art, it's just sketches right now because I'm really busy with art projects that actually count for a grade. School comes before recreation.

* * *

 

Day 2

* * *

 

Ray woke up again to Ryan’s voice for the second day in a row. He groaned, as he rolled out of the bed, his back felt worse than it did yesterday.

_“Ray, wake up, it’s noon already.”_

Ray grabbed the radio and opened the line so he could walk over to the kitchen part of his tower and start fixing something to eat. He sat the radio down on one of the counters, he still hadn’t gotten around to unpacking everything, but he did remember to unpack his food supplies when he made a quick sandwich before bed last night.

“What do you want now Ryan.”

_“Good morning to you too, sunshine.” Ryan’s responded with just as much sass as Ray had._

“Did you just call me “sunshine”?” Ray asked, voice getting loud already.

_“I thought it was fitting. Ray, sun rays, sunshine.”_

“That’s the girliest fucking nickname you could come up with, isn’t it? You don’t even need a nickname for my name, it’s three fucking letters. You just gave me a name longer than my name.” Ray complained, these conversations were just getting stupid now. Ryan was just fucking with him at this point and he didn’t even care because he was miles away and could say anything he wanted to.

 _“I know, I just liked the sound of it. It’s the complete opposite of everything you embody, it’s perfect,”_ Ray just glared at the radio as Ryan’s stupid laughter filled his tower, _“Anyways, I’ve got a job for you to do.”_

Now Ray was listening, “Kicking out more campers?”

_“Nope, but we found out this morning when Geoff was trying to get a signal through to you that we’ve got a pretty serious issue. Geoff can’t really get a normal signal out to you so he tried using the service radio but the storm last night must have knocked down a wire somewhere.”_

Ray’s eyes went wide, distracting him completely from his attempt to make a decent breakfast since arriving, “That’s… not good.”

 _“Very not good,”_ Ryan confirmed _, “Not only can Geoff not reach you, but he can’t reach civilization, and if he can’t reach civilization, none of us can. A fire could start right now and we wouldn’t be able to call it in. Even more worrying, one of us could get hurt or trapped or something and we couldn’t call for help.”_

“Yeah, that’s definitely not good,” Ray gave a worried sigh. What do they even do to fix that? Ray tried to think of what little knowledge on fixing electrical appliances he had but none of it sounded useful at the moment, “What do we do about that?”

_“Well right now we’re just trying to find where it’s down. It’s usually just a branch stuck in the wire or something like that. Each one of us are checking the lines in our section, I just got back from checking mine, I didn’t bother waking you up before I left. Didn’t really think you’d see the appeal to being woken up at six after that fall you took yesterday.”_

Ray groaned, he rubbed at his back still stiff and definitely bruised, “Definitely appreciated. So where are the lines?”

_“They’ll be left of your tower. I’d recommend taking that route back through the cave you came back through yesterday then go north. You’re going to head towards my lookout, just follow that trail and eventually you’ll come across them.”_

“Okay, and what do I do if one of the lines is down? I’m not exactly an electrician.”

 _“No no, don’t try and fix it. If it’s one of your lines I’ll report back to Geoff, he’ll get ahold of a ranger and they’ll send someone out to get it fixed. We just need to know so we can get it done as soon as possible so Geoff knows to go and get in contact with someone. It’s a pretty long hike to the get to a point where he can call for a ranger but Geoff’s the closest one out to them.”_ Ryan explained, clearing his throat. Ray could tell he was pretty tired already.

“I got it, I’ll head out in a bit.” Ray assured him. He didn’t want to complain, not when Ryan had been up since six and hiking all morning.

 _“Alright, keep me posted, sunshine.”_ Ryan yawned.

Ray sighed and closed the line. If Ryan was going to call him “sunshine” this was going to be the longest summer he’d ever live through.

Ray grabbed his pack and headed out towards the path he took last night on the way back. He could see Ryan’s tower in the distance and double checked his map to get a better idea where he needed to go. He’d circled the area north around the label on the map indicating Thorofare Tower, it seemed like he’d be headed towards a place marked as Beartooth Point so for the time being he decided that was likely his best bet according to the description he’d gotten from Ryan. Luckily he had Ryan’s tower visible in the distance to help him out like a big needle pointing north on a compass.

The biggest worry he had was going too north. Ray made a silent reminder that at some point he really needed to check out that pile of maps that were left on a shelf in his cabin just above Ray’s eye level. If he hadn’t been so tired he would have rolled a few out to study the area, maybe actually know the full boundaries of his sections and maybe get to know where everyone else was located. He’d only just noticed them last night when a poster about plants in the area had caught his eyes. He definitely wanted to replace that poster and finally put some of his own stuff up in the tower, decorate it so it didn’t look so much like just a tower out in the middle of the woods.

Ray made the climb down to the cave easy enough. He didn’t really stop to examine anything in there either, preferring just to get through cave kill-a-kid as quickly as possible. As he emerged he double checked which way was north and started making his trek up the path again.

_“So where are you from?”_

Ray jumped at Ryan’s sudden interjection. It was always just as he was settling into the silence, “New York City.”

_“Whoa, big city.”_

Ray shrugged, he knew Ryan couldn’t see him but somehow gesturing while he was talking just felt better, “Yep.”

 _“So is that like a recent thing or have you been moving around a lot or…”_ Ryan trailed off.

“No, this is the first time I’ve been away from New York for a, uh, extended period.” Ray looked up, seeing Ryan’s tower in the distance.

_“That’s a big change.”_

“Yeah well, I was tired of the city and the people. I figured this is like as far away from that as I could get, right?” Ray reasoned.

 _“Yeah, you got that right. You know, Michael kind of did the same thing, he’s from New Jersey.”_ Ryan informed him, Ray raised an eyebrow.

“Really? That explains all the yelling.”

 _“Yeah,”_ Ryan laughed, _“That’s definitely where he gets it from.”_

“And he just, what, left one day and didn’t look back?”

 _“Uhh… he had some issues back in Jersey. Let’s just say that he doesn’t like to talk about it and what he has talked about basically implies that no one’s missing him.”_ Ray frowned, that was much more sad than he was expecting and Ryan’s tone just made it worse with how worried and depressed he sounded about it. Ray couldn’t imagine what he’d do if his mom did that to him, but she was always so open and relaxed about everything, really down to earth. She was all he really had back in New York.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked about that, you guys are close. I guess you guys also handle things as a group too?” Ray apologized, he stopped for a minute just staring up at Ryan’s tower. He had an urge to look Ryan in the eye, after all he was really serious and it seemed like Ryan didn’t like to think about what was going on with Michael either.

 _“No, you’re fine Ray. We do help each other. It makes the Summer’s kind of hard though, when you look after each other all the time, and you don’t know how everyone is doing all of a sudden.”_ Ryan’s tone lightened a little.

“How… How about you, where are you from?” Ray shifted the subject, taking a minute to rest on a nearby rock while they talked. He looked over the map to see how far away he was, it seemed like he would be in the area pretty soon.

Ryan seemed to like this topic a lot more, his tone immediately got lighter, _“I’m from Georgia.”_

Ray waited for the conversation to go anywhere but it didn’t, “...And…?”

 _“And I’m from Georgia. What?”_ Ryan put bluntly.

“I don’t know, I was expecting a little… more,” Ray shrugged again, “You’re Ryan the talking guy, I thought you were going to, you know, talk.”

_“What do you want me to say? It was Georgia. I mean it wasn’t bad there or anything, but not much happens in Georgia… I mean there was a tornado I almost got sucked up in once.”_

“That’s pretty badass actually,” Ray complimented, “I guess I was expecting some secret life you used to live.”

Ryan just chuckled, _“I’ve got a few secrets, stick around and you might learn a few, sunshine.”_

Ryan’s voice was comically suggestive and Ray snorted out his own obnoxious laughter, “Now you’re starting to _sound_ like a dirty old man.”

_“Quit calling me old.”_

“Quit calling me sunshine.”

They both laughed for a good minute before Ray got an idea, “Hey, when I get up to Beartooth Point I’ll be close enough I think for you to see me.”

_“Oh yeah, if you climb to the top.”_

“Try not to get too excited, my clothes are staying on this time.” Ray laughed.

Ryan’s tone flattened but he sounded amused all the same, _“I’ll try to restrain myself from the seductive nature of a city boy who hasn’t seen the sun in a decade.”_

Ray laughed getting back up and on the trail again. He rubbed at his shoulders, it was oddly cold out for being noon. He shivered and hoped the walk would warm him up more. He watched as a mist came up from the trees around him as he made his way down a hill. This place really was beautiful, the woods in New York weren’t nearly as pretty, the light didn’t catch the same way, they didn’t feel as peaceful.

 _“Hey, Ray, I’ve got to take another call, I’ll be back on in a minute.”_ Ryan warned him.

“I’ll try not to miss your too much.” Ray sarcastically lamented as he walked about nonchalantly. In the distance he thought he could see a light pole and smiled. His goal was finally in sight. His smile was short lived when he heard Ryan’s voice coming in through his radio still.

_“Hey… Yeah, everything’s fine here… I told him… Yeah… Yeah right now… He’s getting there…”_

Ray froze, wondering whether he should tell Ryan the line was still open or not. The way he was talking though sounded like it might have been about him though. His eyebrows knitted, was he just being paranoid?

_“You’ll get to soon enough if we’re lucky… No, I get the feeling you’ll have to call them in… I guess so… I know it sucks…”_

Ray lightened up, figuring he must be talking to Geoff. He shut out most of the rest of the conversation, concluding there was no reason he should be eavesdropping until he heard a something that brought him back and made a chill run up his spine.

_“No, he doesn’t know… I haven’t said anything about it, not like that… Yeah, I told him we stick together, that’s all… Well it’s true… It’s fine, he’s a good kid.”_

Ray’s heart pounded a faster. Ryan was talking about him, but why? Why did it sound like he was hiding something?

 _“Don’t worry, I’ll tell him… Alright… Talk to you later…,”_ Ray listened to Ryan set, presumably the other radio, aside, _“Sorry about that, sunshine, did you miss me?”_

“Wh-who was that?” Ray asked, treading carefully.

Ryan’s side was quiet for a moment, _“...What?”_

Ray swallowed, “Uh… you left your line open… Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

 _“I… I was just talking to Geoff.”_ Ryan’s voice was quiet.

“It sounded… like you were talking about me.” Ray pressed, concerned.

 _“Well… yeah, he was asking about your progress getting out to the lines.”_ Ray started getting uneasy with the way Ryan voice began to rise defensively.

“Not that part the “No, he doesn’t know” “I haven’t said anything” parts, what was that about?” Ray’s own voice grew quieter, he could hear Ryan huff on the other end.

 _“That was nothing, we were just… You know what, that’s really none of your business that was between me and Geoff,”_ Ryan’s tone became annoyed, he sounded almost fuming, _“I’m getting_ **_off_ ** _the line for a while. Talk to me when you’ve found something.”_

Ryan’s radio went silent and Ray flinched at the click of the radio that brought forth a harsh silence. He wasn’t intending to make Ryan mad, he was just concerned. Ray’s stomach churned, feeling sickly like he’d done something very wrong. He cursed his own paranoia for getting the better of him, now Ryan was seriously mad at him.

Ray kept moving on, glancing up at Ryan’s tower before it disappeared behind a ridge. He ran across the first pole, looking it over but not really taking in all that much or thinking about what he should be looking for. He was too busy wondering how he could make up for his eavesdropping. The silence around him was different now, it was upsetting and scared him a little instead of relaxing him.

He hadn’t experienced this kind of quiet before. On his hike out he’d been alone but that was just how it was then, he was alone and he was supposed to be alone. Now it was different, he wasn’t alone, not entirely. It was odd to him now to realize how different it felt and how he’d just ignored the possibility of people being out here until now. Those girls, that creep from last night, there were endless possibilities to who could be out here. Every rustling of leaves, every snap of a twig started to set him on edge. He hadn’t realized just how much Ryan distracted him from the little noises that could be someone or something.

With this quiet, his mind tried to fill in the void. The speech, the talking, it was just gone. It wasn’t at all like the city was, back home whenever he was quiet there was always something else to listen to, some persistent voice that the mind could latch onto and focus on. Hiking out here, that voice was gone, and it was relieving then. He felt so serene to just have quiet for an entire day. His thoughts ran free then, just taking in all that was around him. Every plant, every sight, they became novels in his mind that passed the time away but now all he could think of was how much he didn’t like this. Dark thoughts were at the forefront of every attempt to create a distraction, telling him over and over again how bad this was. _‘_ He’s mad at you.’ ‘You shouldn’t have said anything.’ ‘What if you’re attacked out here?’ ‘What if you get lost?’ ‘No one’s going to help you.’ ‘No one can hear you out here.’ The intrusive thoughts kept nagging at him and to make matters even worse, the image of that creep kept reappearing in his mind. A shadow, just staring at him, inspecting him, maybe even following him.

Ray had to stop and take a minute to sort out his mind. Ignoring them wasn’t working so instead he let them play out. He thought about what was wrong in this moment and what could go wrong but he didn’t let that be the end of it. He rationalized the situation, Ryan wouldn’t leave him stranded, the creep was just some hiker, he ran through a solution or a positive outcome to everything that tried to drive him crazy. One thought remained constant in his head, the only one that could fight off the overwhelming sense of guilt that seemed to weigh him down, ‘Apologize to Ryan.’ Taking a minute to run through the slapdash mantra calmed him down for the moment and he was able to clear his head enough to keep on going. Confident to at least be able to keep his head and focus on his task now.

He kept close to the poles, there wasn’t much to look at really, they were pretty thin and looked old and weathered. There was only on cable attached to them, taking away Ray’s surprise that they could be damaged. It was probably really easy for the line to go down all the way out here. Ray followed them up a hill and came to what he assumed was Beartooth Point. A large outcropping rock rose up above the little meadow Ray had stumbled into. The poles ran a path all the way to the tip of it.

He debated letting Ryan know but right now he figured it was better to just let things be for now. It would be hard to talk while climbing up anyways. Ray took a quick look at the cables closest to him before he went for the rock climb, they appeared fine. He squinted to try and see the ones at the top but his eyes weren’t good enough to see that far away.

At the top of the climb, Ray looked over to see that he’d have to take a long drop down if he was going to get up the Point. He looked around for any other way or even something to use an anchor but there didn’t seem to be any. Taking a deep breath he jumped down, careful to land strong enough so he wouldn’t twist his ankle on the way down. Ray looked back at the drop behind him, it was sheer on this side. He wouldn’t be getting back that way.

He looked up at the poles along Beartooth Point then back to the long drop and let out a regretful sigh. He knew he should call Ryan in for this, to tell him that if he didn’t come back they’d find him there but he was hesitant to use his radio. A rustling sound made him jump, even though he’d heard rustling sounds everywhere by  the many natural inhabitants of the forest right now he felt trapped. Fear got the better of him and he thumbed or his radio, paranoia driving him to move on as he hit the button.

“Hey, Ryan…” He asked, he could hear how pathetic his voice sounded already.

To his surprise, Ryan didn’t sound upset anymore but a bit concerned, _“What’s wrong?”_

Ray groaned, he’d hoped not to alarm Ryan or show that he was actually a bit freaked out, “I… uh, I had to drop down a pretty long drop to get up the point. I can’t get back up it so… if I go missing… I’m at Beartooth Point.”

 _“Are you hurt?”_ Ryan asked, definite worry in his voice now.

“No, I’m fine. I just thought I’d let you know because I don’t know how I’m getting back.”

 _“Don’t worry about it,”_ Ryan assured him. Ray heard papers rustling, _“There should be a path on your map taking you down towards Wapiti meadow from Beartooth, just follow that down to the lake and you’ll be fine.”_

Ray let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, thanks.”

 _“Are you… going to be okay out there?”_ Ryan asked cautiously.

“I… Yeah, I’m fine. Just, a little on edge… since we don’t have any way to call for help if you know, I happen to disappear… or if I lose a signal out here.” Ray answered, cursing at himself for being so jittery all of a sudden.

 _“It’s not that bad, they’ll send someone out our way if they don’t hear from us in a few days,”_ Ryan explained to him, _“There’s no reason to be so scared, that’s why you can contact me.”_

Ray frowned, upset at himself for pissing off the only person around to listen to him. He remembered what Ryan and Michael had said about needing to speak to one another and to work with each other. He’d been so caught up in finding some quiet time and now that he had it, he was freaking out. There was no one around out here, it was just him. He hadn’t properly realized how easy it was to get lonely like this, and how easy it was for the few people he could talk to to just abandon him, “...I’m really sorry for earlier…”

The was a brief silence from Ryan’s side before a small laugh came through, _“It’s okay,”_ Ryan said, comforting him, _“I know you are, I’m sorry I got upset too, it was just. That was just kind of a personal call and all, but I can see why that would put you on edge. I mean, you’re out there on your own and I forgot this is still really new to you. I guess I put you under some stress too huh?”_

Ray rubbed at his arm awkwardly as he continued his upward hike, “I don’t… the silence… it changed, it’s just my imagination but I guess, without you talking like that… yeah, I just… felt uncomfortable.”

_“I’ll try not to do that, not till you know this place better, but really there’s no reason to be so freaked out. It’s not that big of an area, there’s always some other way to go. You’ll get the hang of it soon.”_

Ray nodded along, he felt much better with Ryan talking to him again. The minor panicking was fading away. Something about just hearing his voice made him relax more. He felt much more confident moving along though his eyes went wide when he could clearly see the state of the pole at the top of the Point. The cable was laying limp on the ground next to some beer cans that looked very familiar.

“Hey Ryan, I found the problem.” Ray grabbed up one of the empty beer cans, they same ones from yesterday. He took a closer look at the cable, he wasn’t an expert but it was severed too clean for it to be an accident.

                                                                        

_“What’s the deal?”_

“Can you see me down here?”

 _“Hang on,”_ The sound of the metal spyglass clicked. Ray held up the beer can toward Ryan’s tower, _“Hey there… is that… oh yeah, I can see the wire’s down. What are you holding, a can?”_

“Remember those girls yesterday?” Ray hinted, stuffing the can in his backpack. He started picking up the other empty cans in the area as well.

 _“No… Are you fucking serious? They’re there? Did they do something to the cable?”_ Ryan sounded pissed again and Ray couldn’t agree more. He was getting pissed off, even more than he was yesterday.

“They aren’t here now but they were, I can tell by all of their beer cans all over the place,” Ray explained, “And you should call Geoff because they definitely cut the wire.”

 _“What!”_ Ray flinched, Ryan was furious now, _“Those fucking idiots! Why the hell would they do something so stupid, people could die out here because of that! Without that cable we lose contact with other lookouts, the rangers, the service; that’s fucking dangerous!”_

“I know,” Ray agreed, getting loud himself. He was mad, already being scared from the thought of being stranded out here with no help for several days, “They’ve gone too far, what do we do about this?”

Ryan fumed on the other end for a minute, _“Nothing legal is coming to mind at the moment.”_

Ray smirked, “What about the illegal things coming to mind?”

Ryan paused, _“Seriously?”_

“I’m pissed off too Ryan, I mean, I’m not going to like kill or hurt anyone but I mean, why not scare the shit out of them?”

 _“Yeah? You know what, yeah, let’s get them back for scaring the shit out of us,”_ Ryan immediately got more excited, _“Take the path back around Wapiti and see if you can find out where they are, I bet they’re either along that path or back around the lake.”_

Ray laughed, getting pumped, this was starting to sound fun, “What should I do when I find them?”

 _“Hmmm,”_ Ryan thought for a long moment, Ray could practically hear the gears turning in his head, _“Just tail them for now, see where they camp. I’ve got an idea, I’m going to call in Michael, I think he’ll be happy to wreck their campsite and make those girls run away scared shitless. Wait for them to leave their camp and then, bam, you two can tear shit up!”_

Ray could help the big smile on his face. He looked up to the north, looking straight on at Thorofare Tower, “Ryan, you are one scary son of a bitch.”

 _“I try,”_ Ryan voice swelled with amused pride, _“Now get out of there, you’ll end up by the lake. I bet you they’ve got camp set up down there.”_

“Alright,” Ray took the order happily. Things were getting interesting out here. He wasn’t sure if this was something they really should be doing but then again he didn’t plan to really hurt the girls any, just a scare. Toss around some things and taking their beer sounded like it’d do the trick. Ray checked his map for the right path, trailing his finger up till it reached an area called Wapiti Meadow and then moved below it, the trail would lead directly to the lack, “I guess that’s it for now then.”

 _“Right, keep me posted.”_ Ryan said, radio clicking off.

Ray turned off his own to conserve battery and started making his way down the trail. It wasn’t so bad really though it was getting pretty hot out now. Ray was unfamiliar to the summer heat of Wyoming, having lived in New York all the time. The western portion of the united states had a different climate all together. The days were growing hotter than most of the hottest days he’d spent in New York. The nights were hot as well, although sometimes there was a nice chill to the air, as if it were taking mercy on them for being out so far. One thing for sure, it was always dry, on the hike out it had been nothing but dry heat and now it seemed the humidity from last night’s storm had already faded with the morning sun.

He hopped down several ledges, following the beer cans down till their trail eventually ended. Honestly, he was glad the trail ended. If he had to pick up one more beer can he’d actually start worrying that they’d already died from alcohol poisoning. Now he had to figure out where to go next.

Ray pulled out his map and traced along the trail he to the point where he thought he was. There was several different areas they could be in, though he figured somewhere closer to the lake would be the best bet. A little further down the path and he ran into a serious drawback. There was a steep shale drop that blocked his way to the rest of the path, even larger than the one he fell down yesterday and this time he didn’t have any rope he could use. He looked around for an alternate route but to his left was a sheer cliffside and to his right was a steep ledge.

Ray began to feel that creeping dread of panic hit him again. He opened the line on his radio, “Hey Ryan?”.

He waited for a minute but he had no reply, he remembered that Ryan was likely talking with Michael, for now he was on his own. Ray took the map back out and traced his finger back up, noticing a small trail marked supply drop. He wasn’t exactly sure what that would hold for him but it was worth a shot. Ray quickly doubled back and found the trail, marked with a little signpost. This trail was narrow and steep, following the ledge along the north side of his map. Once he got up a good distance, he saw a large green box built similar to the yellow cache boxes overlooking the steep cliff below.

From here, he could see Thorofare tower pretty clearly, and from this angle, he could make out some sort of lift system of further down the trail. He made a mental note to ask Ryan about that later, for now, he wanted to test his luck with this supply drop. He grabbed the lock and put in the simple four-digit code, happy to see that Ryan was telling the truth about every lock having the same combination. He opened up the box to find three boxes, each for a different tower, one of which was his. The middle box had a little label over it that red “Two Forks” and as luck would have it, there were a few things left in there for him. The thing that caught his attention the most were several bundles of rope that came along with a note.

Ray snatched up the ropes, they looked brand new, way better than the old rope he picked up yesterday. There was a lot of them, Ray figured he could just leave them tied up out there too, thinking about how useful it would be if he ever forgot to bring them along like in today’s case. He picked up the note next, it was a small note scrawled on a piece of notebook paper that simply read “To Two Forks, extra climbing rope”. Ray shrugged, that was good enough for him. Looking back to his box, the only other things he noticed were a few extra carabiners and an extra map. He took what was left, pocketing the carabiners and looked at the map real quick before locking up the supply drop. The map had few markings about the area, detailing someone’s hand written landmarks. Other than that, it was the same as his own and he decided to pocket it for later. It would give him something to look over at night.

With his ticket to climbing down that shale wall, he hastily retreated from the precarious ledge and back down to the ledge. A rock jutting out of the top near the ledge struck him as the perfect spot to anchor his rope to and he made several secure knots in the rope before he attached one of his carabiners and looped another rope onto it. This time he pulled hard on the rope, making sure it would break, but it remained sturdy and he felt confident enough start lowering himself down. His shoulders sent a spark of pain to remind him of what happened last time. It was unnerving to be doing this again after yesterday, and this time the drop would be much worse, he had to get down somehow though, and this seemed to be it.

When he finally hit the ground, Ray couldn’t have felt happier. He pumped his fist in the air excitedly, enjoying his small victory over nature. He let the rope stay there, he didn’t figure he’d be going back up to Beartooth Point anytime soon anyways and at least having the rop out here gave him an exit if he ever got caught like that again. Instead, he just made his way further down the trail which started to take on a sharp decline now as he was headed down towards the west.

Ray finally made his way down to a larger area, separated by a large chain link fence, by his map, he figured this was Wapiti Meadow. A sign on the fence said ‘No Trespassing’ but it seemed out of place. Ray approached it anyways, looking beyond to see what was there but there was nothing out of the ordinary that he could tell. Just as he was peering through, he heard the buzz from his radio.

 _“I called Michael, he’s on his way. How far out are you?”_ Ryan’s voice made him jump a little, not realizing how on edge the fence had made him.

“Hey…,” Ray replied, he shifted the radio in his hand for a minute, “Uh… I think I’m by Wapiti Meadow, there’s a fence here that says ‘No Trespassing’, do you know anything about that?”

_“What… Oh, right, yeah that’s the fall research center. A local college comes out here to study things like the soil and weather patterns. Helps us out too with possible predictions on how the summer will go.”_

“Oh,” Ray nodded, a little disappointed he didn’t stumble onto some remote knew Area 51, “So no aliens or wolfman experiments?”

 _“No,”_ Ryan chuckled, _“But you wouldn’t be the first to think that. Apparently some Firewatchers before us weren’t informed that that place existed either. That was a mess, they had some serious issue with a squatter or some like rogue camper really messing with them and making them think there were people in Wapiti tracking their conversations.”_

Ray’s eyes went wide, “That’s messed up.”

 _“Tell me about it_ ,” Ryan agreed, _“Apparently the squatter also lit the little campsite in Wapiti on fire too, the place lit up and joined with another fire that had been a controlled burn. It was bad, really bad. After that, they started giving us all more information about stuff like that so we wouldn’t get freaked out.”_

“Yeah, not really working, still pretty freaked out. Actually more freaked out now that I know that.” Ray took a few steps away from the fence and hastily making his way onto a path to his left, “Really hoping these girls aren’t back there.”

_“I doubt it, last thing I want to do when I’m drunk is climb a fence.”_

“Good point,” Ray was more than happy to accept that logic as truth right now, deciding if he couldn’t find them anywhere else he’d hop the fence then.

A thought crossed his mind though, and he couldn’t help but voice it, “I wonder how they got down that shale wall…”

 _“Shale wall?”_ Ryan questioned.

“Yeah, there was another one of those drops just a bit before here, like the one I had to get down yesterday. I got really lucky, I went up to the supply drop and someone left my tower some extra climbing rope. Without that, I would have been screwed.” Ray told him, a little out of breath as he climbed a steep hill up to a more open trail.

 _“Oh good, you got it, I forgot to tell you about that. Huh, I don’t know how they would have gotten down, maybe they climbed up somewhere and went around.”_ Ryan’s voice took on a much more cheery note.

“What?” Ray questioned.

_“Well, it’s not like you have to follow the trails out here and there’s two of them, they probably just went around.”_

“No, not the girls, got what?” Ray clarified.

_“Oh the rope, I put in a request to a ranger to deliver you some rope. I’m surprised they got that out to you so fast. Good thing you found it.”_

Ray stopped in his tracks, brows raised and eyes wide as he just looked at his radio, “You left them out here for me?”

The was a pause before Ryan chimed in again, sounding amused that Ray had to ask, _“Well, I didn’t, but I put in the request. I didn’t want you to end up killing yourself out there. I would have done it myself but they said they had someone who was going to be around the area for sometime so I passed the buck on that one.”_

Ray was a little stunned, “You can do that?

 _“Yeah, there’s an extraction point just by your supply drop that goes from my area to yours. It’s how I get supplies out to you, Michael, and Gavin. They aren’t as lucky as you, they have to walk much further for their supplies.”_ Ryan explained.

“I…,” Ray shook his head, “Fuck man, thanks.”

 _“No problem.”_ Ryan dismissed, clearly unaware of how serious the situation could have been.

“No, I mean it. Jesus, I would have been stuck out on Beartooth Point if you hadn’t done that, you’re a lifesaver.” Ray praised him, a smile made it’s way on his face. Ryan was the only reason he was making it this far right now. The panic he’d felt earlier at the thought of just being left out there alone, with nobody to talk to, no way to get back to safety, it terrified him. Yet Ryan seemed to be one step ahead and always reassuring him.

 _“Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s my job to make sure you don’t end up stuck out there. That and to tell you to go do stuff,”_ Ryan joked, _“But seriously, it’s fine. If you ever get seriously stuck out there one of us could take the hike up that way to help, you know? You’re not alone out here.”_

Ray rubbed his shoulder, feeling dependent on someone always made him awkward. He liked being capable of doing things on his own and it just felt wrong accepting charity from Ryan, even if he swore it was just a simple favor, “I really owe you one.”

 _“You don’t owe me a thing.”_ Ryan deflected.

“I owe you something, come on, don’t fight it. You got me some free rope, I feel like a jackass.” Ray argued.

 _“Alright fine,”_ Ryan sighed, though he chuckled in amusement at Ray’s pushiness, _“Finding those girls and getting them out of here sounds good enough for me. Give their tent an extra kick for me.”_

Ray shook his head, this guy just did not back down from anything, “Alright, you got it.”

As the path stretched on, Ray noticed that the plants started to dwindle away. He saw why soon enough as the trees transitioned into an area where many were burnt down through most of their trunks. What remained of the older trees were charred and damaged though there were many trees in the area that had grown up around the burnt ones. The ground had long since repaired itself, covering up the damage that whatever fire had once been there had caused. At this point, he had no idea where to go, not since the trail of beers had long since ended.

“Hey, I’ve got no idea where to go next, all I had to go on was beer cans and that was way back on Beartooth. Any ideas?” Ray asked.

 _“Uh… Let’s see, where are you?”_ He could hear Ryan picking through papers.

“I’m in this area that looks like it had a fire a long time ago.” Ray supplied. Looking over his map, the label closest was Mule Point but he wasn’t sure if this was actually sure if this trail was part of this, “I guess it’s Mule Point?”

 _“Sounds like it,”_ Ryan confirmed, _“That area had a fire like thirty years ago, does it still look like crap out there?”_

“No, looks like it’s doing pretty good, I just saw some burnt up trees around the trail.”

 _“Good, check around the area just in case. I’d follow the trail down for a while, never know, might find something. They have to be somewhere in your area anyways.”_ Ryan reasoned.

“Yeah, I was thinking they might be somewhere around the lake. I mean I found a campfire out there yesterday. I didn’t find any tent though.” Ray shrugged, he was just offering what he had to go on at this point.

 _“Go for it, actually, there’s some nice camping areas around Five Mile Creek, I’d check that area out too if I were you.”_ Ryan encouraged him, _“That sounds right to me. Just keep heading down Mule Point for now, you’ll end up crossing Thunder Canyon, it’s really close to your tower actually.”_

Ray couldn’t help but smile. He felt like he might be starting to get the hang of this a little better. He looked up to check the sun’s position, pulling out his compass to check which way was west to check the time. It was hard to believe it was already around three o’clock. If he was going to be out here for a lot longer, he figured he should pick up some things from his lookout. He kept on the path but swung off his pack so he could check what he did bring. A bottle of water, his new ropes, carabineers, and map, no flashlight or food though. He made the decision to pick those up on the way.

“Yeah, I’ll stop by my tower before I go down that way.” Ray informed the other, just to keep him aware of his plan. Ryan hummed in agreement. He trailed off to silence for a while and Ray could hardly believe that Ryan could be talked out of responses.

He checked his map, making sure he was on the right path to Thunder Canyon. As he walked, he realized just how quickly time seemed to pass by. Out in the quiet of the woods, even when he was just talking away with Ryan, it was serene. He really had escaped all the business of the city, out here there was no scheduling, no push to fill every minute with work and rush. It was just the world, running it's course without any limits. He liked that, it was relaxing.

The trail widened as the trees grew fewer and farther apart along Mule Point. He followed the more worn path until it took a turn to another steep ledge. The view from this one was absolutely gorgeous though. The sun glared bright over the small stream at the bottom of the canyon all the way along the ridge. The light hit the rocks, making them shine beautiful shades of reds and oranges. He looked down towards the edge, seeing a rock that had already been made as an anchor and gave another silent thank you to Ryan before he hooked up another rope and started shimmying down the rock wall.

“I wasn’t expecting to be doing all this climbing when I took the job. Do you have to do a lot of rock climbing in your area?” Ray asked, the thought just coming to mind as he came to the ground. He looked out onto the narrow path of the canyon, there was a natural bridge made out of the rock with a gap between his and the other side of the canyon. Lucky for him, it looked like he could jump that gap if he was careful. First though, he was definitely taking a minute to appreciate the view he had from here, making another mental note that this would be a great place to come back to at some point.

 _“Sometimes. I used to do it more often but I’ve gotten used to this place, I’ve found ways around most of the big drops and shear walls.”_ Ryan explained.

“You can say you were just tired, old man.”

 _“Hey, I got you rope, sunshine,”_ Ryan jokingly warned, _“Don’t push it.”_

Ray just laughed it off. Again Ryan used that stupid nickname, immediately a quick comeback came to mind and he went for it. Two can play the name game, “I’m kidding, _Rye-bread_.”

The was a long minute of silence before Ryan’s side erupted in laughter, _“Did you just fucking call me ‘Rye-bread’?”_

Ray swelled in pride, letting himself join the laughter. It was so stupid, but that just made it funnier to him, “Yes, I fucking did.”

 _“Nope, nope, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this. I’m officially handing you over to Michael, you’re his responsibility now,”_ Ryan overexaggerated, laughing his ass off the entire time. He let out a long sigh to try and calm himself down, _“You really called me that...”_

“Got him!” Ray exclaimed, as ridiculous as it was, he still considered this to be a victory.

 _“Yeah, you sure showed me,”_ Ryan’s voice was dripping in sarcasm, _“How about you move your ass before something worse comes out of your mouth.”_

“Alright,” He consented, backing down from his already terrible joke, “Hang on a minute, let me just jump this gap. Time for all that parkour training to pay off and by parkour I mean shitty jumps on the sidewalk.”

 _“Wait, what are you doing?”_ Ryan was quick to respond, panic rising in his voice.

“There’s this bridge out here between the side of the canyon, it’s got a gap in it though so I’m jumping it.” Ray was lining up his path, taking a few steps back for a running start.

_“That’s not smart.”_

“Hey, if it goes well maybe I’ll give the whole stuntman career a shot after this. That is if I don’t just completely eat shit here. I trip and fall, game over.” Ray joked, but he knew that was actually a possibility here. He was a pretty high distance off the ground and there were nothing but sharp rocks and a tiny stream below him. If he fell he was almost guaranteed not to get back up again.

 _“Just be careful, daredevil.”_ Ryan cautioned.

“You can’t deny I’d look good in a jumpsuit.” Ray let his word hide his nerves and let his snark act as confidence. He took his running jump and with a loud grunt launched himself to the other side, managing to overshoot it some. He raised his fist high, jumping as he let out a loud victory shout, “PARKOUR!”

 _“Alright, good job,”_ Ray laughed as he heard slow clapping from Ryan’s end, _“Now get a move on. Michael’s going to get over there and find them before you even get close.”_

Ray took to the trail, he had a good climb ahead of him for this part with numerous small ledges to scramble over, “Dude, I have no idea where the fuck these girls are.”

_“Probably hiding, I get the feeling they cut the wire to get back at you.”_

Ray nodded along as he climbed up a rock wall and back onto a trail. He brushed himself off and scratched at his jaw as he mulled over his options again. All he knew was the lake, he’d seen them there last night which was his only lead to where they might be. He tried to recall all the events of last night, trying to remember any details that might narrow down an area, but other than his run-in by the lake all that came to mind was the creep with the flashlight, “So I’ve got two angry teenage girls that are mad at me and fucking… spooky mc creep guy just out here running amok somewhere. Great start to the job. I’m really nailing it, huh Ryan?”

 _“Eh,”_ Ryan shook off the comment, _“You’re not doing as bad as Michael.”_

Ray furrowed his eyebrows, “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

_“Yeah, I think so. At least you aren’t on first name basis with the local police due to harassment complaints.”_

“I guess that’s true.”

_“You’re doing fine then. Hey, are you near your tower?”_

“I think so. I’ll probably be back there in like ten minutes.” Ray double checked his map, it was a rough estimate but close enough.

_“Alright, I’m going to let Michael know, you okay with me going silent for awhile?”_

“Thank god,” Ray fained exhaustion in his voice, “I mean, yeah, no that’s fine.”

 _“You piece of shit,”_ Ryan laughed, _“Just for that I should wake you up in the middle of the night. I’ll be back in a bit.”_

With that Ryan’s end went silent and Ray just laughed at his annoyance. He started walking back through familiar territory, when his tower came into view he already began to feel tired. Now wasn’t the time for rest though, not when he still had to find those girls. He let himself enjoy the silence for now, glad that this time it wasn’t unnerving as it had been when he pissed Ryan off. This was more like the kind of goodbye that went in passing between friends.

It was odd to consider but somehow, it felt like Ryan was quickly becoming his friend despite having only known him for two days now. He was easy to get along with and very eager to talk him through things. Normally, Ray would hate that but now it was strangely calming. The thoughts kept running through his head, trying to figure it out. The only explanation he could really come up with though was that the constant talking replaced the ceaseless noise he knew from the city. Maybe that’s why it felt comfortable, Ryan’s voice was a substitute to something he was used to.

The trail wound up a steep hill and from here, Ray could see the top of his tower. He hurried along up the path, ready to get his supplies and head off towards the south. The relief he felt at seeing his tower was immediately turned to a churning out of fear when he saw a box full of his supplies laying on the ground by the steps. He approached it cautiously, looking the box over. It was full of his food that was supposed to last him several weeks out here, all broken or spilt out on the ground now with shards of glass surrounding it. He looked up towards his tower, he couldn't see anyone but he was hesitant to go up. He figured he'd have to one way or another, and even if someone was up there they only had one way to get back down. Though Ray wasn't entirely sure if this was a positive or a negative on his current security problem.

“What the fuck…” Taking a deep breath, Ray looked around, finding a board of wood to use as a weapon, it wasn't much but it would have to do. He tried to be quiet going up the stairs but their insistent creaking would have given him away regardless.

When he reached the top he carefully peeked into the windows. Thankfully, whoever had been there was now long since gone. The state of his lookout was nothing short of an absolute wreck. From just through the windows he could see someone went to town on everything he had. The good he'd put away was tossed off the counter or torn from the cabinets. Books and paper were all over the floor, his desk had been overthrown. Ray rushed around to the door, stopping in his tracks after noticing the broken window that the box below had certainly taken its trip through, “Oh…” The door's frame was splintered to where the door couldn't fully close anymore, the latch having been used to rip it open.

                          

Ray let it swing open as he went inside for a better look. He grabbed his desk, putting it upright again. The pencils, pens, paper, and maps he'd had we're all over the floor now and he couldn't bring himself to do more that just pick up what he could bunch together and plop it back on the old wooden surface. He didn't get pissed until he noticed his sheets and pillow were missing from his bed. They weren't on the floor and he didn't see them on the way up which could only mean that whoever did this still had them.

"Please, Please, Please," He got down on his knees to at the little bookshelf built into the surveyor in the middle of the room. The books that last lookout had stored there had been tossed out but his real worry was for the one thing of value he had out here. He'd set his DS in the bookshelf, just so He'd have a place for it but now it was gone. He couldn't see it on the floor anywhere and it was probably safe to assume whoever has his sheets had that too, "No... Fucking really!?"

He pounded his fists down on the floor just to let out some steam. Whoever did this was going to have a bad time if he ever found them. If it was those girls again he was going to raise hell over everything they owned.

"Fucking ASSHOLES!"

 _"Whoa... I missed something..."_ Ryan's voice came back through the radio and Ray forgot that he'd left his line open.

Ray took off his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He took a moment just to calm down so he didn’t end up yelling at Ryan, "Someone broke into my tower."

“What!?”

Ray got off the floor and paced around, surveying the mess that they’d made, “They broke my window, they threw my food outside, they fucking stole my sheets and my DS man.”

 _“Wha- Okay, hold on, just calm down. Who did this? Do you have any idea?”_ Ryan tried to trap Ray to focus instead of letting it reel on and on about what was wrong.

“...I…,” Ray trailed off for a moment, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know who could be out here, there was only three people he could think of, “I don’t know, there’s the girls… and that creepy guy from last night, he was hanging around my tower maybe I busted him before he could break in last night. I don’t know who any of these people are though.”

_“Alright, look, I’m going to call Geoff about this so he can get in contact with someone. I can get some sheets out to you by tomorrow and some food, you’re not going to go cold or starve. Just take a minute to calm down, I’m going to put in the call.”_

With that, the radio went silent again and Ray kicked one of the books on the floor in frustration. Two days in the woods, in the middle of the Shoshone National Forest, and he gets robbed, “Fuck New York, this place is way more hood…” He muttered bitterly. He slumped onto his mattress and let his head fall into his hands for a minute. The day could not get any worse as far as he was concerned.

The hiss of static caught Ray’s attention and he picked up his radio, holding it in his hands absentmindedly, “Yeah?”

 _“I heard what happened.”_ Ray’s eyebrows knitted together, that wasn’t Ryan. It took him a minute to realize that he’d heard this voice yesterday, it was Michael, _“That’s really fucked up, you’re not hurt right?”_

Ray shook himself out of his slump, “No, I’m fine. What did you hear?”

 _“Ryan just called me like five seconds ago saying you’re tower was broken in and that he had to call Geoff. He said I should talk with you and then nothing, like just leave me with that. I’m freaking the fuck out over here because I think someone’s like smashed your face in or some shit with the Ryan talking,”_ Michael let out a sigh, _“Jesus Christ… how bad is it?”_

“Broken window, trashed food, one hell of a mess, and that’s just what’s inside the tower,” Ray went over the scene again with Michael, “I don’t really care about inside the tower, it’s just a mess, I can clean that up, but they stole my sheets, my pillow, and my DS.”

 _“They stole your DS?”_ Michael’s voice grew aggressive fast, _“These assholes are going to fucking pay if I get my hands on them.”_

Ray couldn’t help but snort out a laugh at Michael’s passionate response, “Thanks but I get the feeling I’m never going to see it again.”

 _“It’s not too late to give up. They gotta be around here somewhere. I bet it was those girls from the lake.”_ Michael accused but Ray was more hesitant.

“I don’t even know who did this, or why,” Ray reasoned, “There’s no point blaming people without any proof.”

 _“Then let’s get some.”_ Michael seemed to be taking this as a challenge. His suggestion came out as if it were so simple.

“We’re not framing anyone.” Ray warned, just in case Michael was taking this where he thought he was.

 _“What? No, we’re going to find those girls and we’re going to kick them out of here like we were going to do. If we find your stuff then they’ve got even more to worry about when they get back in town. They’re already going to get something for vandalism or destruction of property or some shit, I wouldn’t be surprised if breaking and entering isn’t part of their fucked up checklist.”_ Michael had a point, they still had to find these girls anyways, they might as well see if they were the ones responsible in the process, _“I mean, it would make sense that the girls would be behind this, we did throw their speaker in the lake.”_

“I did.” Ray corrected, letting a smile grow on his face. Somehow, listening to Michael get so heated about the situation really cheered him up.

 _“Yeah, but it was my idea,”_ Michael argued, _“And I’m kind of thinking that’s what all this is about so I feel responsible.”_

Ray sighed, he put his glasses back on, the blur of his tower returned to the clarity of the absolute tornado of crap, “Well, don’t. Even if it was those girls, I’m the one who threw their shit in the lake, I made that call,” Ray shook his head, it was pointless just sitting in his tower talking about this, “Let’s just find these girls and get them out of here.”

 _“Hell yeah,”_ Michael quickly became more upbeat and determined _, “I’ve been wanting to do this all day.”_

“You’re over in my area, right?” Ray focused on remembering what he had to do. He got up, looking for his flashlight which had been tossed on the floor by his desk, “Where do you want to meet?”

 _“That’s the spirit,”_ Michael praised, _“Meet me down the trail of Five Mile Creek, I’ll be at the overlook there, it looks like a big round path at the very bottom of your map.”_

Ray took out his map and looked for the area that Michael described. It was all the way in the bottom left, a little ways down from Jonesy Lake, he was just barely in Ray’s area.

“I’ll meet you there then.” Ray confirmed, without another moment’s thought he took off out the tower and down below. He followed the path he’d taken yesterday, knowing that one much better now and appreciating how expansive it was compared to the ledges he’d climbed and shimmied by today. He didn’t bother being tactful, or even conserving his energy. There wasn’t much to lose at this point, he just wanted to find these girls, get them out of here, and be done for the day already.

He marched his way down towards the path and past the cache box he’d gotten the bad rope from. As he reached his old nemesis, the steep drop he’d taken a fall from, his radio buzzed at him. This time it was Ryan again.

_“Hey, I just got off with Geoff. He’s going to inform the rangers about your theft while he reports the wire. We’ll get some sheets out to you soon, how are you doing?”_

“I’m on my way to kick some ass.” Ray told him, hooking up a much better rope than the shitty severed one that still hung from the anchor.

_“So you’re taking it… well?”_

“I’m taking it anyways,” Ray groaned at his choice of words, “Not like that… Fuck it, I don’t even care right now.”

He ignored Ryan’s small huff of a laugh while he focused on scaling the wall for the second time. Please that the rope held him well this time all the way to the bottom.

Ryan let out a long sigh, _“This is a mess, we already have enough to be worried about with the fires, now we’ve got to worry about vandals and robbers? We’re in the middle of the woods, since when did the Shoshone become Atlanta?”_

Ray ran his hand through his hair in frustration, “I don’t know, but this is not how I thought this job was going to go.”

_“It’s definitely not how it’s supposed to. I’m sorry you’re getting the worst of this but we’re all getting on edge now. I mean, this isn’t something that normally happens, we’re all getting freaked out over this. I just hope this was done by those girls and not some lunatic out here.”_

That certainly didn’t make Ray feel confident about the situation, considering how closer to his tower that creepy hiker was last night, “Uh, Ryan, that’s really not helping.”

 _“Right…,”_ He apologized, _“You know what, I’m going to be quiet now, I should check in with Geoff to see how he’s doing. You good for a while?”_

“Yeah,” Ray assured him, “I’m meeting Michael soon. We can handle this.”

_“Good, keep me posted if you two find anything. This day is just getting out of hand…”_

Ray hummed in agreement and waited for the radio to go silent again. He was crossing through the meadow the same way he’d gotten to the lake, though now he was heading off towards the right to the treeline.

He reached the more wooded area of the path and slowed down to catch his breath for a minute. His legs and lungs were tired and heavy now, starting to get really sore from today’s activities. His back flared up now and again, wanting to be soothed by the embrace of a bed . Unfortunately there wasn’t much of a bed to return to at the moment. As he caught his breath he felt a little more relaxed again already, his pent up rage subsiding a little. His head was starting to clear and his thoughts were less aggressive.

The dry trees he was used to started fading away as he got further into the wooded area. He heard the sound of the creek and all around him things started to look healthier, more alive. The grass was green and the variety in trees turned to a grove of the same kind the closer he got to the creek. The air even felt different, it was humid here instead of dry, the water clinging to the air. There was a coolness to it though as the trees shaded the area and keep the area temperate and lush. This area was very different than anything else he’d seen in his section.

The creek was bigger than he expected it to be, though it made for a very good path to follow. Because of how alive the area was, a well trodden path had been made following the creek all the way along and Ray was happy to let it take him the direction he needed to go. As he walked deeper through the grove Ray remembered how much those two girls enjoyed swimming and began looking around the area more for any hints that they might be there. They seemed to at least not be around where he was, Ray was pleased by the lack of beer cans in the area.

The sight of the trees thinning drew Ray’s attention as he made his way across the creek where the water flowed through a more narrow space. It was a very sudden change when he found the overlook. The trees just stopped, surrounding the little area like a barrier. He climbed up to see the view better, seeing the distant looming mesa far off to the south. The outcrop dropped out below him, spanning over thick forest that he wouldn’t be able to reach himself. It was beautiful to see though, especially with the sun now taking on it’s orange glow as the evening crept over them.

A hand on his shoulder sent Ray flailing as he spun to see who it was. His heart raced in anticipation, expecting the worst. What he got was an amused look from a familiar looking redhead. It was Michael, laughing at him in his panic, but grabbing his arms and pulling him back from the edge regardless.

“Whoa, chill out,” Michael laughed, “It’s just me.”

Ray sighed in relief, seeing a face he could trust calmed him back down. It was different seeing Michael up close instead of through a spy glass. He was pale and dusted with faint freckles. He looked really young for someone who was apparently older than he was, his face was rounded with no noticeable facial hair and his smile curled across his face in the shape of  cupid’s bow.

“Fucking christ, Michael.” Ray breathed out shaking his head. Michael was enjoying his misery as he continued to laugh but he did manage to get Ray to smile along with him after a minute.

Michael started looking him up and down, taking in his appearance, “It’s good to actually meet you.”

“Yeah,” Ray nodded back, it was an awkward meeting after their first impressions being through the lens of a spyglass, “Same.”

“Let’s get going.” Michael broke apart the tension between them, getting them moving back through the woods and headed in the direction of the lake. Ray was happy for the outlet, it gave him time to think of what they could talk about. It was so strange to now have someone to talk to in person, “I’ve got an idea of where they might be.”

“At this point I’ll try anywhere.” Ray let Michael take the lead, happy to have someone who knew the area better act as leader as he fell into the quiet.

“So you’re from New York?” Michael broke the silence he looked at Ray, waiting for a response and getting a nod, “I’m from New Jersey, Ryan probably already told you that though. What got you all the way out here?”

Ray shrugged, “Peace and quiet, kind of starting to think I would have been better off in New York right now though.”

“Peace and quiet… Bullshit, what’s the real reason,” Michael pushed, Ray nearly went defensive but the look Michael gave him assured him he meant well.

“That’s it. I just needed a break from the city.” Ray reinstated.

Michael raised an eyebrow but shrugged, “Alright.”

“What about you?” Ray took his chance to prod Michael back for information. After hearing what Ryan hinted at earlier, he was curious but he didn’t want to be pushy with his question, “Why here?”

“Here wasn’t my first choice, it just came up along the way. I went all over the country,” Michael explained, “I haven’t been back East in years though, it’s been all West for a while since I was kicked out.”

Ray’s eyes went wide, “‘Kicked out’?”

He watched Michael face drop just a little for a minute before it went back to normal, “Yeah, it’s complicated. My way of life just didn’t sit well with them,” There was a moment of quiet and Michael reached up to adjust the beanie on his head. As he did, Ray caught sight of a glint of metal. He saw that Michael wore a metal bracelet on his right wrist, ringlets like chainmail ran tightly around his wrist, “But it’s fine now. I’ve got all the family I need.”

                                                                           

“With Ryan and the rest of the firewatchers?” Ray offered and Michael knitted his brows at him.

“Ryan tell you about that?”

Ray nodded, “Yeah, he said you guys travel together.”

Michael’s faced relaxed, “Yeah… I can’t believe he told you about that. You two must be getting along great then.”

Ray shrugged, “I mean, it sounds like you guys a pretty close, so you guys are like a family? Ryan just said you were close.”

“Oh…” Michael’s mouth hung slightly open and he stilled, looking like he’d just realized something, “Oh, yeah, yeah we are. It’s… we kind of have this pact with each other.”

Ray hummed along, “Sounds nice, I wish I had friends like that. I probably wouldn’t hate people so much if I lived like that.”

“You seem to be alright with people to me.” Michael assured him.

“Yeah well, small amounts are fine. It’s all the crowds, all the noise, I hate all of that.” He explained.

Michael nodded along, “Well, there’s definitely not much of that out here.”

Ray just nodded, and silence took hold for a moment before Michael nudged him to get his attention again, “So you play DS, what games?”

Ray’s face broke out wide as he shared his game list with Michael. In return Michael started going on about his own while they followed the path along the creek. As the talked about the games they played, Ray realized that he and Michael had very similar tastes in games and it helped them to open up to each other. The time passed on quickly and soon they started coming up to the head of the creek where a waterfall rushed through to push the water back the way they came. Ray started to surge forward for a better look only for Michael to still right in front of him.

Michael’s sudden stop and Ray nearly tripping over his new companion. He followed mIchel’s gaze to see what had stopped him, finding the bright orange flash in a tree above them. It looked like thick material, like a tarp, and it looked new.

“What is that?” Ray asked, squinting up at the material. He tried to reach up for it but it was beyond his reach.

Michael looked at it from a different angle, “Looks like a piece of a tent…”

Before Ray could ask anything more, Michael caught sight of something else and headed off straight towards a small dirt path. Ray quickly followed, catching up to Michael just in time to see it. A campsite, with litter everywhere and no occupants to be found. A recent campfire was now a smouldering pile of charred wood that Michael started to stamp out. Magazines strewn around the ground caught Ray attention and he picked up one, “ _Handsome Hunks_? Fuck yeah, sign me up for that.”

Michael laughed, “Looking for some eye candy, Ray?”

“Hell yeah, who doesn’t like some hot guys that are like ten years younger than me?” He joked, picking up an entire six pack just to the side of a log, he recognized the logo immediately, “Well, it’s definitely the girls.”

“Good, mission one done. And they’re away, time to fuck their shit up while we can. Take the beer, they definitely don’t need any of that out here.”

Ray nodded, “Pretty sure their livers are dead at this point, do you want them? I don’t drink.”

“Yeah, sure. Might as well put them to use.” He shrugged, looking around at the mess of the campsite.

Ray moved around towards the tent that sat further along the small dirt path. When he got around to the front of it, his heart sank. The front of the tent had been torn up and inside were torn up clothes scattered around, “Hey Michael, you need to see this!”

Michael sensed the panic in Ray’s voice and bounded over giving a loud, “Fuck!” Upon seeing the front of the tent, “What the fuck happened here.”

Ray’s eyes caught on a note attached to the remainder of the tent, he picked it up, reading it out loud, “‘Dear Psychos! We hope you’re happy you creeps! We’re leaving and we’re calling the cops to tell them about how you wrecked our campsite over some fireworks! Tearing up our shit was so uncalled for and you’re in BIG trouble! Fuck you!’”

“Well that’s childish.” Michael commented, looking through the remainder of the tent, “They think we did this?”

“Apparently… But I didn’t… and you didn’t. So what or who did this?” Ray put the note back down, it was beginning to creep him out despite how much it looked straight out of a nine year old’s diary.

“I dunno… a Bear maybe? Maybe they got drunk and did it themselves, who knows. Shit like this happens sometimes. Let’s just be glad they aren’t here anymore. We didn’t even have to do a thing,” Michael said positively, pushing aside some of the torn up clothes in the tent before he pulled out a folded bundle of sheets and a pillow  and held them up to Ray, “Look familiar?”

Ray grabbed up the cotton fabric greedily, “My sheets!”

“So it was them,” Michael nodded, going back into the tent after a moment he let out a joyous “AHA!” And came back out a familiar looking handheld, “Found your DS.”

Ray smiled, “Thank god, I thought it was gone.”

“I guess you got lucky this time. Try to hide it better next time.”

Ray nodded along, taking the DS from Michael. They both looked around at everything, “What do we do now though? They’re going to call the cops on us, right?”

Michael just shrugged, “It’s not a big deal, we didn’t do anything and they’re the ones that took out our wires and robbed you. I think they’re the ones in trouble right now.”

It made sense and Ray agreed with Michael, they certainly had done a lot of damage to his area of the Shoshone, “So… I guess we’re done here.”

“Seems like it,” Michael leaned back, looking at the sky, “Good timing too. I didn’t want to walk back in the dark.”

“Right, how far away is your tower?” Ray asked, packing his stuff into his backpack.

“Past the lake about a half an hour, it’s not that bad it’s just really rocky that way.” Michael told him, looking Ray up and down for minute, “We should call Ryan before I head back, but you know, this was nice. No one’s usually in your tower so I never get to actually come out this way and meet with someone. We should do this more often, get to know each other some over the summer.”

Ray smiled, Michael was so different now than he was yesterday. So much calmer and happier, he had a really warm personality about him. A part of him wondered if they would have ever met up back home if circumstances panned out differently. Then again, with his quick temper, it was anyone’s guess. For now though, Ray was content in the friend he’d made of the more aggressive firewatcher, “Yeah, that sounds cool.”

Michael smiled back happily as he got out his radio out and tuning it to Ryan frequency. The static buzzed and Ryan came through with a quiet, _“Yeah?”_

“Okay, before we start, it wasn’t us.” Michael informed Ryan shooting a knowing wink towards Ray, making him snort, amused.

_“What did you do?”_

__


	3. Back to Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter finally finished. I've got to say, I'm very thankful for all the kind words in the comments, it makes me happy to see people are enjoying this whenever I get back on to edit a few things. It's also very helpful to see what people are looking for in this piece and what they know going into this, I know that some don't know much about firewatch and because that's been brought to my awareness I wanted to provide a few links to images from the game in case anyone needs a reference to what I'm talking about. Just as a way to clear some confusion or quench some curiosities.  
> The map: http://41.media.tumblr.com/1522098ca0c04fb29aa09e5a44c6d6b6/tumblr_o365zaIQLp1sikueao3_1280.jpg  
> Two Forks: http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/superepicfailpedia/images/3/3c/Firewatch_geekdad_01.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160218212542  
> Two Forks Inside: http://playmoments.de/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Firewatch-1-Tower.jpg  
> Thorofare Tower: https://shutupvideogames.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/firewatch-1-0.jpg?w=1000  
> Jonesy Lake: https://rebyuatsume.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/firewatch_sunsetonthelake.jpg?w=1000  
> Thunder Canyon: http://hydra-media.cursecdn.com/firewatch.gamepedia.com/8/87/ThunderCanyon.jpg  
> The Supply Drop: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/IC3Cr55mMv4/maxresdefault.jpg  
> The Teen Tent: http://guides.gamepressure.com/firewatch/gfx/word/523006970.jpg  
> For the pictures I draw personally, I have updated the ones on previous chapters but honestly I think I may keep them as sketches from here on out, mostly because I use ink and watercolor and watercolor does not like my phone's camera. The sketches seem to look better but if there's different opinions, I'd like to read them in the comments. 
> 
> One last thing, for those who may not know, the structure of this fic is following the timescale of Firewatch. The game shows excerpts from certain points of certain days and transitions by the days, sometimes cutting out certain points. A lot of times a scene may cut out a resume again at a later point in that date. From what the game provides I have somewhere between a span of 93 days to work with but not all days will be shown. in this chapter, two days are combined but in future chapters some days won't be included much like how Firewatch is played. I'm just providing this now as a fair warning in case anyone gets confused. Alright, I'm done, I swear.

* * *

Day 3

* * *

 

Ray hammered in the last board of wood he had onto the window. He was missing some and would need to find more till he could consider his window as fixed as it could get. He stepped back for a minute to look over the job he’d done so far, pulling at the boards to check how secure they were. For not being well versed is anything like this, he thought he did a good job anyways.

It was already noon, the time had passed by quickly with the amount of work he’d done to get his tower back to normal. Now his desk was set up correctly again and the kitchen space was cleaned. There was no more mess on the floor and he had a decent bed for the first time since being out here. He wasn’t sure how long this organization was going to last but at least he had it for now. He found it a little funny how it took a break in to get him to unpack everything.

Ray sighed at the memory of all that had gone down yesterday; the vandalism up at Beartooth, the destruction of his tower, meeting up with Michael and finding the wrecked campsite. Stress, stress, stress, he could only imagine what came next after this. Once they’d contacted Ryan yesterday, they’d explained what they’d found and Ryan had berated them for harassing them the day before but other than that he was glad they knew who was responsible for the wire and the attack on the firewatcher. Michael was only disappointed that he wasn’t the one who wrecked their campsite.

Ray smiled whenever he remembered the little time he spent with Michael. It was nice to meet someone out here in person and to speak face to face. Grant it, it had quickly become hard to speak to someone face to face having only spoken over a radio for a while. He wasn’t sure how often that kind of luxury would come along though and the quick back and forth communication, the interaction, little instances of human contact really emphasized the time spent away from that sort of engagement.

After they’d gone through collecting the leftovers of the campsite and cleaning up the whole mess they parted ways but Michael had kept in contact using the radio. They didn’t talk too much, they found themselves talking about games more than anything and that was enough. Michael didn’t push him for much information, he seemed more focused on topics Ray actually wanted to talk about. The few things he did push were mostly over safety concerns like what areas of the map he should study, how to fix up his window, and the one thing he stressed the most was that he really needed to contact the other watchers.

As much as Ray hated to admit it, he knew Michael was right. After the events of the past few days it had become clear that anything could happen out here and as of right now he only had two other people he could call on for help. There was a threat in that alone that he might not be able to reach them if he really needed help and more contacts meant more security. The only issue was that Ray wasn’t sure how to start a conversation up with them, but he promised himself that he would reach out to them once he could think of what to say.

 _“Hey Ray.”_ The too familiar voice of Ryan could be heard from outside of his tower now, thanks to the hole he’d spend the rest of the summer with. Ray shook his head but a smile crept it’s way along his lips. There was something nice about this odd routine Ryan was getting him into. He opened his door with just a brush of his hand, now that the door had nothing keeping it closed for good, and grabbed the radio up.

“I’m here,” Ray assured his neighbor, swinging the hammer in his hand back and forth absentmindedly as he walked along the deck to face Ryan’s tower. He leaned forward on the railing, letting himself relax for a minute, “What’s up?”

 _“Oh hey there, Sunshine,”_ Ryan laughed, Ray had already figured he’d be keeping an eye on his tower, _“Sleep okay?”_

Ray rubbed the back of his neck, working out the stiffness that had formed there over the course of the morning. Truthfully he hadn’t really slept that well but the majority of his worries were gone when he got his sheets and DS back. The only thing that really kept him up last night was cleaning up some of the mess on his counter. There was still that lingering paranoia that comes when you’ve just had your home broken into but knowing who it was and that they were gone was enough to allow him some sleep at the end, “Alright. You?”

_“Could be better.”_

“Why’s that?” Ray asked, interest peaked with a little worry. From his days out here so far, when Ryan wasn’t doing so good that meant something was wrong.

_“After yesterday I was up all night. We’ve never had such a crazy day like that out here before. We deal with fires not stuff like that. It really creeped us all out to think about what could have happened.”_

Ray hummed along in agreement, yesterday certainly took it’s toll on more than just him. It was touching how quickly Ryan and Michael had banded together to help him, “Shouldn’t happen again though, right? I mean, they left so it’s all good now.”

 _“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just a little stressful still considering we won’t have that wire fixed up for a few more days. Everything’s more stressful when we can’t contact the outside world. Everyone’s on high alert,”_ Ryan explained, the thought had slipped Ray’s mind that they were cut off. He still wasn’t used to the actual job but he supposed Ryan and the rest were having a rough time worrying over fires starting.

“What do we do in times like this exactly?” Ray asked, shifting from one foot to the other.

 _“We just stay vigilant and keep talking to each other. That’s all we can do,”_ Ryan answered, he let out a long sigh, _“It’s both really boring and really tense… So, what have you been up to today? This is the first time I haven’t been the one to wake you up.”_

“I’m just getting my life back together. Cleaned the tower up, I just need to get some more boards for the window. Better go and start doing that.” Ray told him, pushing himself up from the railing and walking back around to the other side of his tower and started down the steps. He didn’t intend to go very far in his search for boards, if he couldn’t find anything, he would just think of something else.

_“Look at you, surviving in the wild. I’m so proud of you.”_

Ray shook his head, “Great, thanks, now I’m going to get mauled by a bear the second I get down these stairs.”

_“Ah, alas poor Ray, I knew thee… adequately.”_

“You’re full of jokes today.” Ray noted as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He started looking around for something he could nail to the frame of his broken window.

 _“Yeah, well, I’m bored, you’re easy to joke with, it passes the time.”_ Came the honest answer.

Ray ducked under the wooden beams supporting his tower. Down below there was a little pit like area beneath his temporary home where various pieces of who knows what were stored. He figured it was where past lookout had dropped off some too big to trash little or where construction supplies had been left behind. As luck would have it, he managed to find a sizable board of wood he could use.

“You need to get out more,” He told Ryan, “I bet the others are having a more eventful day than I am, I’m just looking for wood.”

_“Look no further, Haywood is here.”_

“Who?”

_“...Did I skip that part in the introductions? I probably did, I’m pretty bad at that stuff.”_

Ray shook his head, “Just- What the fuck are you talking about?”

 _“That’s my last name. Haywood. I was making a bad joke with no context.”_ Ryan huffed a laugh, he sounded out of it to Ray.

“Oh… okay, Ryan Haywood. I get it,” Ray just went along with it considering how Ryan was acting. He went on to search by around the outhouse for some more wood, there was plenty of junk around there to use just scattered around. The groggy tone Ryan’s voice started to take on was a little unnerving to him though, “You okay, “Haywood”? How long were you up last night?”

 _“Hmm?”_ Ryan was definitely getting lost from the conversation, _“Oh… Uh… I don’t know. Late. Like, really… really, late.”_

Ray picked up an old metal sign, looking it over. It was big enough to cover the gap if he could wedge it between the boards. It was good enough for him as far as he was concerned and resigned himself to try it out anyways, “Maybe you should take a nap.”

_“Can’t take a nap, no naps during times like this.”_

“Well, you need to do something, you’re zoning out on me,” Ray told him, making his way back up the tower steps, “You need to get some rest.”

_“Worried about me, Sunshine?”_

“Little bit, you’re like my one contact out here. If you go down I think the world will just forget I exist.” Ray laughed at his own joke before he got to the top and grabbed up his hammer, going right back to work, “I mean, a few hours of sleep isn’t going to destroy the whole forest. There’s plenty of us out here, I can keep an eye out your direction, start shouting at you till you get off _your_ ass for a change. That sounds fun.”

 _“Alright, alright, I’ll take a nap in a bit. I will…,”_ Ryan submitted, _“I’ll just stick around for a little while longer and make sure you don’t somehow impale yourself on that hammer.”_

Ray fained offense, “What? Don’t think I can handle my own?”

 _“Eh,”_ There he went again, doing that same nonchalant ‘Eh’ that seemed to be a good substitute for all the ways to tell Ray ‘No, not really’, _“Give it a week or two without any accidents and maybe I won’t be watching over you all the time like a mother hen.”_

Ray smirked as he slotted the new board into place and started hammering it in, reminding himself to leave a gap for the metal, “We both know that’s not going to happen.”

_“Why? Are you already planning your next injury, Sunshine?”_

“No, I mean, there’s always going to be a high chance of me just falling on my ass every second of the day, but that’s fine, I know you’re never going to leave me alone. I’ve come to terms with it because I understand it now.” Ray explained.

“ _Oh yeah? And what’s this conspiracy you’ve cooked up?”_ Ryan voice was lazy but very amused by the conversation.

“Yeah, if you didn’t bug me all the time you’d get lonely. For some reason I must be the only person in the entire Shoshone that can stand your bad jokes.” Ray joked, happy to hear Ryan chuckling back at his remark.

 _“Uh huh, yeah, that’s what it is. You got me.”_ There was so much sarcasm in Ryan’s voice it was palpable but Ray had started picking up on how much sarcasm meant. Only knowing someone by their voice, he had started realizing how a far a little sass went. It was at the very least reassuring for this moment, _“Hey Ray?”_

“Yeah?” Ray had to grunt out his response as he tried to shove the metal sign in place, opting to use the hammer to smack it in instead.

_“What do you look like?”_

The question made Ray stop, wherever this was coming from, he was curious to know, “You’ve seen me through the spyglass.”

_“Not very clearly. I can’t really see details. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want.”_

There wasn’t any issue that Ray had against describing himself, it was just odd to think about himself like that. He’d never really had to put into words what he looked like but he could see why Ryan wanted to know, Ray was curious to know what he looked like too. The spyglass only got so close, the rest was just a blur, “Only if I get to hear what you look like.”

_“Sure. There’s not much to tell though.”_

Ray shrugged, giving the sign a few more bangs till it slotted in place. The window looked poorly fixed but at least it would work, at least till he could find some more boards, “I’m not a beauty contest winner either. What do you want to know?”

_“I don’t know. Just describe yourself.”_

“Uhhh,” Ray tossed the hammer aside, he’d worry about putting it away later. He looked down at himself, pursing his lips, “I dunno, 130 pounds of no muscle. I’ve got brown skin but I’m pretty pale.”

Ryan chuckled a little, _“Really nice to yourself, aren’t you? What about your face?”_

Ray let out an exasperated sigh. Unfortunately, these towers didn’t come with mirrors, so he’d have to rely on memory alone. He reached up to face and let his fingers rub against the scruff of facial hair he had, he was dreading the day he’d have to shave, “I’ve got a bit of a beard.”

_“Oh yeah?”_

“Yeah, I mean, I shaved it down a lot before I came out here so it’s not really much right now. I don’t really grow it out longer than like an inch though.”

_“Same, I look terrible with  a ‘beard’ beard. What kind of face do you have?”_

“Uh, pretty rounded, I guess. You?” Ray rubbed at his shoulder awkwardly as he leaned back against the railing. This was so weird and awkward, he let out a weird laugh just for his way of diffusing the odd tension.

 _“Square, I have a strong jaw, or at least that’s what I’m told. I’m not so sure how much I believe that but, eh, I’ll take it.”_ In his mind Ray was building the image, he could really see why Ryan wanted to know what Ray looked like. Every little detail he got back made a clearer picture of Ryan in his head, filling up the gaps in his visual of Ryan.

He let himself slip down the railing, sitting on the old wooden deck with his knees up enough for him to cross his arms over and rest his chin on them. He was trying to imagine Ryan’s face as best as he could, “What color is your hair?”

_“Brown, well, kinda on the blonde side.”_

“Mine’s black.”

_“Eyes?”_

“Dark brown.”

_“Light blue.”_

It was becoming a strange game almost, the way they just started bouncing off descriptions but it worked. Ray had a pretty good idea of what Ryan looked like now and surely Ryan did too. They kept going back and forth with much more obscure details for a few minutes before Ryan’s side went a little quiet.

“Hey, it’s your turn,” Ray reminded him, “Are you buff?”

 _“Sorry, I was just drawing, and no,”_ Ryan laughed, _“No, not really buff. I’ve got some muscle though, the reward of hard labour jobs.”_

Ray raised an eyebrow, “What are you drawing?”

_“You. I want a picture to remind me of what you look like.”_

Ray’s head shook to the side as he snorted, he could only imagine the reasons behind Ryan’s strange actions today, “Why?”

_“It’s good to know. I draw all my friends, there’s a picture of every person I talk to out here in my tower, just so I know.” He explained._

“Do I look good?” Ray joked, hardly expecting a serious response.

_“Yeah, I think so. If I’ve got this right. Pretty cute, Sunshine, break any hearts back home in New York?”_

“Ha!” Ray exclaimed, “Not at all.”

_“No one? No girl back home waiting for you?”_

“No,” Ray’s voice dropped a little as he was reminded of the bad breakup he’d had a few years back, “I haven’t been with anyone for a while. I don’t even think the last relationship was real.”

_“Not compatible?”_

“Hard to be when she was just pretending to date me for about four months.” Ray shrugged but every time he was reminded of those times his heart clenched up, he was still shut down from it all. That had really turned him away from people, only adding to his own social anxieties.

 _“Sorry to hear that, that’s rough.”_ Ryan gave his sympathies.

“It’s okay, it’s better this way, taught me why I just shouldn’t bother with people anymore.” Ray assured Ryan, he dug his forehead into his arms.

_“That’s not really all that true though, right? One person hit you hard, that’s all, there’s plenty of other people to get to know. I mean, you’ve been talking to me a lot, and you just met me a few days ago.”_

“Yeah, because you never stop talking.” Ray joked, Ryan’s optimism catching on a little.

_“Well, what about Michael? You two get along great, you barely know each other.”_

Ray admitted to himself that Ryan had a point there, “Yeah, alright,” He submitted, “At least I can make friends with other people who like avoiding society. That’s comforting to know…”

 _“Hey…”_ Ryan’s point was quickly swallowed by a yawn, _“We’re not that bad.”_

Ray laughed, more at Ryan’s stubbornness than anything else, “No, you’re not, “ He admitted, “How about you get some sleep now?”

Ryan hummed in agreement, _“Fine,”_ he agreed begrudgingly, _“You better not burn down the forest while I’m taking a nap.”_

“I’m not that big of a fucking idiot,” Ray got back up off his feet and went back into his tower. The door still hung off one hinge and fell back a bit whenever he used it but that was another project all together, “Oh wait, I finished repairing the window, what else should I do?”

_“Do?”_

“Yeah, I’ve been following your orders for the past few days, what do I do now?” Ray clarified, trying to think of the next step. He still wasn’t sure the extent of his job description, training day had fallen under the wayside with those teens causing havok.

_“Now you sit your ass down and watch for fires till September comes like the rest of us.”_

Ray looked out towards Thorofare tower, wishing he could actually gauge Ryan’s expression that he could now imagine, “What no special tasks? No making rounds in my section?”

 _“Nope, just sitting around looking for fires,”_ Ryan said plainly, _“And as long as I’m asleep they’ll be no hikes for you. I need you in the tower, keeping an eye out.”_

Ray’s eyebrows raised, a little surprised at the sudden lack of responsibility, “After all that excitement, just, nothing?”

 _“You took the job to sit out here and watch for fires, there’s not really any strings attached to that. Too boring for you, Sunshine?”_ Ryan teased.

“Uh… Well, I mean after the past few day.” Ray shrugged.

_“Tell you what, if you’re bored, why don’t you try meeting some of the other lookouts. I know you haven’t talked to them yet, Ray, you really need to do it. Geoff’s been anxious to talk to you since you got out here and as soon as that wire gets fixed you better be ready, he’ll talk your ears off.”_

Ray scratched at his arm, he did feel guilty for not reaching out to the others but he really wasn’t sure how to strike up a conversation. It was different in person, as much as he avoided people, whenever he interacted with them in person he’d just jump into it. It was always that sudden, fight or flight type of response, it just happened. He was loud and outgoing whenever someone put him on the spot but out here, where the only people around were so far away and the only way to talk to them was a radio, what do you even talk about?

“I know,” Ray sighed, “I’ve been trying to think of how to start.”

 _“Hello’s are usually nice. I know this may be a bit overdramatic but throwing in a ‘I’m Ray’ might just make you the life of the party,”_ Ryan’s sarcasm never failed and Ray wondered if sleep deprivation actually increased the amount of sass Ryan dished out, _“Just think about it anyways.”_

“Yeah, I will,” Ray huffed like a teenager dismissing his mom, “Now would you go take a nap already?”

 _“I’m going, I’ll talk to you later Ray.”_ And with that, there was a click and then silence. Ray closed his line as well, leaning up against the bookshelf in the middle of the room. He let his eye drift down to it, at some point he intended to ask Ryan what it really was. Right now it was just an awkwardly placed bookshelf bolted to the floor with a circular map on it. He was certain he was supposed to be using the setup it had on top but honestly it just looked like an extra map to him with a ruler and some oddly shaped metal tacked on. If anything he expected to somehow trip and impale his face on it before he actually got to understand what it’s called.

Keeping that cheery note in mind, he stopped leaning against it, taking a moment to stretch out the soreness in his shoulders. He swung his arms back and forth, getting them loose again and also because he was bored now. About three minutes of no Ryan and he was already bored. Ray had figured he’d be feeling calm and relaxed but actually he was pretty antsy.

He spent a few moments just walking around his tower, looking out the windows as if something would happen if he just stared long enough. What he expected to happen, he wasn’t sure. After having been active since day one he started getting used to a more productive schedule instead of the more stationary one he’d actually signed up for.

Ray opted to sit down at his desk before he drove himself mad walking around. The wooden chair creaked under him as he sat down. If the walls could talk, they’d probably be able to tell him just how old the furniture in the tower was, but by the look of it Ray could imagine it’d all been there for as long as the tower had. The beatdown everything received last night was certainly not good for it anyways. Touching the desk right now came with a slight dread that it would crumble in front of him but it held. He imagined it was built long enough back that they still made things that were built to last more than a lifetime.

Ray set his radio into it’s charger in front of him. He was really lucky that hadn’t been broken last night, just tossed in a corner. Opening a drawer, he retrieved some paper and a pencil, ready to try his hand at doing something. Writing wasn’t exactly his thing though, and no ideas were coming to mind. Eventually, he just started doodling one of the S symbols he always defaulted to in every attempt to be creative. There was nothing going on in his head now, and it bugged him, all he’d had time to think of while being here was Ryan. Even now his mind went to the new image he had in his mind of Ryan’s face. Without realizing it at first, he started drawing out his mental image. After a while, he started getting serious with it, focusing on the details as best as he could, trying to get the image in his head on paper. After a while, he thought he had it pretty good but a part of him knew Ryan probably looked nothing like what he drew.

All of a sudden his radio piped up with a small bit of static, signalling someone connecting to his frequency. The sound made Ray jump, he’d been really focused on his drawing of Ryan he’d forgotten he was supposed to be watching for fires. He glanced at the windows quickly, but there was no sign of smoke anywhere as far as he could tell.

 _“Ray, you there? I’m bored.”_ Came Michael’s voice from the radio. Instantly, Ray was relieved to hear it wasn’t Ryan or calling in some emergency.

Ray kept the radio on it’s charger but he opened his line, “I’m here. Also bored.”

 _“Thank god, I needed someone to talk to and I’m sick of Gavin right now.”_ Michael’s voice was exaggerated and Ray chuckled back, not really understanding what was going on but the way Michael’s voice had shifted from his usual gruffness to a more high pitch whine was hilarious to him.

“What happened?” He asked, genuinely curious.

 _“He won’t shut the fuck up!”_ And the yelling was back, that didn’t last for long, _“Two days away from everybody and he gets needy.”_

“Well, I mean, Ryan talks to me nonstop, how bad can it be?” Ray asked.

 _“You don’t know Gavin.”_ Michael went deadpanned for a moment, _“He will rot your brain when he gets going. His stupid spread worse than the fires out here, man.”_

Ray couldn’t stop himself from snorting at the thought of whatever possibly happened, whoever this Gavin was, he apparently was really annoying, “How do you live with him then?”

Michael let out a long sigh, _“...It’s complicated…”_

“Sounds like it,” Ray agreed, “Sounds like it’d get really complicated at times to be staying with each other at all times.”

The was a silence from Michael’s end for a moment, _“... What all has Ryan told you about us?”_

Ray raised an eyebrow, Michael had asked this before. It was starting to strike Ray as a bit suspicious, “I told you yesterday, he just said you guys live together, why? Is it some big deal I’m not supposed to know?”

_“...I guess not. I’m surprised Ryan’s been talking to you so much. He’s usually not that outgoing, not that quickly anyways.”_

Ray shrugged, “I think he just likes messing with me.”

Michael snorted, _“Yeah, maybe, I heard about your nickname, Sunshine.”_

Ray groaned, “Michael please.”

Michael started chuckling, almost evilly, _“Relax, I’m not going to call you that. Well… maybe sometimes, if it’s funny.”_

Ray ran a hand through his hair, “It’s getting ridiculous how much he’s been fucking with me, I don’t know if I can go a whole summer with it.” For some reason, Michael started evilly chuckling again, “What?”

 _“Nothing,”_ Michael laughed out, completely unconvincing, _“Go on, I want to hear more about how Ryan’s been fucking with you. You know, usually, he’s pretty slow to the whole relationship thing but I guess you two really hit it off.”_

“Oh shut up,” Ray told him but he started chuckling along. It was so different talking to people who used innuendo humor as much as he did. The choice of words were key out here, “I guess you would know how Ryan fucks with people.”

He’d intended it as a joke but the response he got sounded more serious than he expected, _“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”_

“...What?” Ray asked, hoping for clarification, it was hard to judge how to take that when he couldn’t see Michael’s face.

 _“Nothing. I’m just messing with you,”_ Michael diverted the conversation as if he hadn’t said anything at all, _“So, how’s the tower?”_

Ray let the former conversation drop, these guys were prone to joking about anything after all, or at least Michael and Ryan were, “Everything’s good now. Cleaned the place up, fixed the window good enough,” He explained, eyeing his shoddy patchwork job of the window from his desk. He could see the rusty back of the old sign, it stuck pretty flat against the window frame surprisingly, “The only thing that’s really beyond my help is the door. I can’t fix what they did to the doorframe so the door’s just going to open and close whenever it wants now.”

 _“That sucks,”_ Michael put eloquently, _“At least every night out here is just about the same. It’s always hot and dry pretty much. Not many cool night out here for summer. Well, I guess if we get rain, but that’s rare.”_

“Yeah, I’ve started noticing that sheets aren’t that useful, I guess those girls were doing me a favor after all.” He joked, enjoying the laughs he got in response.

It was easy for Ray to talk to Michael, he was relatable and funny. Michael was the type of friend Ray had wanted back home, someone he’d been missing out on. He could just imagine how different things would be if he’d known Michael back home, how different he would be. Michael was loud and energetic, the type that most people would quickly rush away from but Ray could get behind it. As strange as it was for someone who preferred peace and quiet, Ray liked to be loud himself but it was never fitting. Being open and loud drove more people away than it drew in, his social anxieties didn’t take too well to that after long enough.

It was almost insane how in just two days Ryan and Michael had changed him. He was being loud, he was joking, he was enjoying himself. He felt like he’d known Michael for months rather than days and Ryan, well he was practically an open book, but he was different. Michael was a fast friend but Ryan had something different about him that made the relationship they were starting to build different. Ryan was very caring, he worried about him, he watched over him, and he really got into Ray’s head. He could calm Ray down instantly by just talking and make him terrified by not. Ray couldn’t really identify what Ryan was to him, he was a friend to be sure, but there was just something else there that he couldn’t figure out.

Michael really helped to pass the time, they could go on and on about the things they had in common, the minutes just ticked by in an instant. It was nice to hear Michael happy as well, whenever he was pissed off he was scary, sometimes Ray had to make sure he hadn’t been the one to piss him off but that never seemed to be the case. When he was happy Michael was all laughs and Ray could imagine the curled lip smile and the toothy grins he’d seen firsthand.

 _“-And then Gavin’s got to call me up now that he’s gotten on Geoff’s nerves and start bugging me like ‘Oh! Micoo! I’m going to bug the shite out of you now, boi cause I’m a mingy gump-knob!’.”_ Michael mocked Gavin with the most ridiculous British accent Ray had ever heard in his life.

Ray nearly fell out of his chair laughing, “He does NOT sound like that. Please tell me he doesn’t sound like that.” Ray begged through his laughter.

 _“He fucking does!”_ Michael reassured him, voice raised and pitch rising with it.

“Fuck dude,” Ray’s own voice struggled to be heard as he tried to stifle his laughs, “I can’t talk to him if he sounds like that, that’s too fucking funny.”

_“Just you fucking wait till you talk to him, he doesn’t shut up, like ever. Actually, hang on, I’ll introduce you.”_

Ray’s eyes went wide and his chest tightened, “...What?”

 _“I’m going to open up this call up to his frequency, just give it a sec.”_ Michael explained nonchalantly, Ray figured he must be purposefully ignoring the panic in his voice.

“No no wait-” Ray tried but he heard the radio connect to the knew signal and his words caught in his throat. He wasn’t sure what to do, he wasn’t ready for this yet, not when he had nothing to say prepared.

 _“Eyyyy Boi!”_ A new voice drew out excitedly, distinctively British, but not as over exaggerated as Michael had made it out to be, _“Knew you wouldn’t stay mad at me.”_

 _“Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, Gavin, I can stay mad at you for the whole summer if I want to.”_ Michael voice was calm but there was a teasing warning there in the tone.

 _“Aw, don’t be like that, you’re my boi! My cheeky little Micoo!”_ Gavin pouted back.

Ray wasn’t sure what he expected but this sure wasn’t it. All he knew about Gavin was that everyone thought he was annoying but they apparently were close enough for pet names and playful banter.

 _“Yeah yeah, boi,”_ Michael relented, _“You wanna say hi to Ray or you just gonna leave him all silent?”_

 _“Wot?”_ Gavin’s voice shot up an octave, _“He on? Right now?”_

_“Yeah, I opened the signal,” Michael explained, “Ray? You want to get in on this buddy?”_

Ray cleared his throat, feeling like a kid getting up in front of the whole class to introduce himself, “H-Hi, I’m Ray.”

_“Bloody hell, he’s actually in the call! Hey there, I’m Gavin, Gavin Free. Nice to bloody hear from you, thought I might never get to meet you.”_

_“You probably wouldn’t have if I didn’t step in,”_ Michael joked but Ray knew there was more truth in that statement than Michael did, _“He’s not that great with introductions.”_

“I’m not.” Ray agreed.

Gavin let out a throaty chuckle, _“I’m not either. I don’t think any of us are, especially Geoff, wait to you get that one. It’s nice to meet you though, nice to have someone new to talk to. I’ve heard a lot about you from Ryan.”_

Ray’s eyebrows knitted, “Just how much has Ryan been talking about me?”

 _“He’s been filling us in on what you’re like since we hadn’t heard from you,”_ Gavin explained. Ray felt his face heat up, just how much about him did they know? He was feeling more insecure by the minute now, _“Don’t be mad at him though, we’re the ones who keep bothering him about you.”_

 _“Noone’s been out in Two Forks for years, at least longer than me and Gavin have been out here,”_ Michael added, _“Kind of hard not to get curious.”_

 _“And you’re pretty young like us, not many people as young as us come out for this kind of thing.”_ Gavin also reasoned.

“Yeah, Ryan mentioned something about that,” Ray nodded along, giving himself a minute to think. Gavin talked fast and seemed to constantly be excited, it was hard to gather his own thoughts. He did remember something Ryan said like that and at times wondered why so many were stationed out in the forest, “Why are there so many of us out here anyways? Seems a bit obsessive.”

 _“Usually it is.”_ Gavin agreed.

Ray caught on to the keyword in that affirmation, “But not always?”

 _“There use to be like… what? Three to four people out here at once, sometimes two?”_ Michael asked Gavin.

 _“Yep, that’s the way Geoff tells it. He came in when they were still trying to fix some mess that happened… twenty years before him? Some big fire hit in the summer a bloody long time ago, there were only two people on watch then. Made an absolute mess of everything, I heard. ‘Course they never came back and for twenty years they started trying to get more people out here for ages, then we came along and stuck around. Really I think it’s a relief to the station that they don’t have to keep looking for people. Especially with you, Ray,”_ Gavin explained, catching Ray’s interest, _“We’re all full up with you around. I bet they’re hoping you’ll stay.”_

“I don’t know about that.” Ray warned, he still didn’t quite know what he’d gotten himself into quite yet.

 _“It’s not for everyone.”_ Michael offered, normally that would sound insulting but the way Michael said it was actually reassuring, like he was trying to dismiss any pressure Ray might have had on the subject.

“So why do you guys do it? Every summer? Why do you keep coming out here? I mean, there’s got to be better jobs out there, right? I mean, besides the whole sticking together deal you guys have going on. There’s got to be other jobs you guys could do to stay close that don’t involve being out in the middle of the forest.” Ray questioned, genuinely curious why any of them bothered. He could think of several different options for summer jobs that paid as little and had better conditions.

 _“Sometimes we need a break from being together all the time,”_ MIchael answered, a deeper tone midway through told Ray he was talking specifically about Gavin, _“We’re much happier to see each other when we haven’t seen each other in months.”_

 _“It’s not just that though, is it?”_ Gavin gave cause for correction, _“It’s sentimental. We all met out here.”_

Ray stayed silent, waiting for Michael to answer. He’d started to really notice how Michael got quiet sometimes. At first he thought Michael had just been drifting off but he picked up on how it only happened during certain topics, like it made him uncomfortable to say anything more about it, or add something he didn’t want to.

 _“Yeah, that’s another.”_ Michael finally responded after a minute. He was quiet though, a little on the unnerving side as far as Ray was concerned.

Oddly enough, now Gavin went silent. It was hard to figure out how he could tell, but listening to voices through a radio heightened his awareness to subtle changes in a person’s tone and breathing. He could hear the slight noises of Gavin’s breaths shifting, the kind that he just knew came from nervousness or uncertainty.

To keep things moving, Ray chimed in, “That’s cool, like a ritual, I guess I just would have expected you guys would rather do other things.”

 _“Yeah,”_ Michael’s tone was enough to tell Ray that whatever line had been crossed was over now and Ray made a mental note to try to be more mindful about what is said that might trigger that quiet reaction in the future, _“We just got stuck in a loop. It’s nice though, we DO like it here. Everything’s different out here, it’s something that’s… it’s like it’s a therapeutic thing.”_

Ray just took a moment to think about that, nodding along for no reason. He could understand why, it was quiet out here and beautiful. This wasn’t a job that Ray quite considered a job really, more like a lengthy paid vacation.

 _“It’s the best job in the world, absolute top.”_  Gavin agreed, _“Oh, I’ve got to get off.”_

“What’s up?” Ray frowned, Gavin sounded a bit panicked.

 _“I forgot about something, I need to go check my setup! We can have a chat later, bye Ray, bye Michael!”_ Gavin’s voice grew higher and Ray could hear him running before Gavin’s line closed.

Bewildered, Ray then turned to Michel for answers, “What was that?”

 _“That was Gavin,”_ Michael chuckled, _“He does tests out in his area, he likes to keep himself busy like that. He’s always freaking out about missing something, today’s his first results.”_

“Results for what?”

 _“I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening to him when he explained it but I’m sure I’ll be hearing nothing but whatever the fuck he’s been doing for the next week,”_ Michael groaned, _“He’s usually trying to catch certain things on camera or do some weather tests to try and see if he can predict something. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.”_

“That sounds… complicated.” Ray hadn’t expected someone who was like Gavin to be involved in projects that sounded like you’d have to be a genius to figure out.

 _“Yeah, I don’t get much of it but he does and it makes him happy,”_ Michael admitted, “ _Gavin’s like two people, there’s the one half that’s dumb as hell and likes to annoy the fuck out of everyone and then there’s this really smart half that’s really good at things, and knows a lot about some really useful stuff. He just changes between the two all the time.”_

“Huh.” Ray shrugged, that was good to know despite how little it made sense to him but he figured that was just because he barely knew Gavin.

Michael hummed back before Ray heard him groan and the pop from a stretch. He let out a relieved sigh, _“Alright, I’m going to get back to work for a little while.”_

“What, now I’M more boring than watching for fires?” Ray joked with a sharp laugh.

 _“No,”_ Michael protested defensively, _“I’d much rather talk to you, but I do hikes around my area to make sure nothing’s going on. I don’t have as good of a watch as yours, you’ve got an actual tower I’ve just got a cheap hut on sticks that’s been here for like a goddamn century.”_

“Oh,” Ray faked a wince, “That sounds like it sucks.”

_“It does, but I get put out here every year because the ranger’s think it’s funny as hell to have a Jones out by Jonesy.”_

“You have to admit it’s funny, I’d put you out there too.”

_“... Yeah, I probably would too.”_

Michael’s seriousness was easy to break with the right words, Ray noticed. Michael could be persuaded to laugh at anything very easily but the same could be said about his temper. Whenever Michael got quiet Ray feared he was about to start shouting, like any little thing could set off the ticking time bomb that came in redhead form.

“Alright, I’ll let you get to work.” Ray was happy to, all this talking and energy actually had him feeling pretty tired of it all now.

 _“I need to get out of this place for a while, probably won’t hear from me for the rest of the night. I’m going to hike till dark.”_ Michael informed him.

Ray raised an eyebrow, “That’s pretty dangerous, isn’t it?”

 _“Not when you know a place by heart like I do,”_ Michael reassured him, _“Don’t worry about me, Sunshine.”_

Michael tease with Ryan’s nickname made Ray groan, “I’m going to kill Ryan…”

Michael just laughed away at him, _“I’ll talk to you later.”_

“Bye, stay safe” Ray believed Michael would be alright but there still was a little worry. He wasn’t a fan of being out there alone, especially not when he could get hurt so his heart went out to Michael then, and hoped that he wouldn’t get lost or injured out there. Ray listened to the radio click off, sighing as he was left to the silence of his own tower again.

This time is was far more bearable, something about earlier had just been off. Ray figured he’d just been too wound up to calm down after he’d hit the day running full blast, fixing the tower, playing handyman, he felt more active than he had in a long time. Now that boundless energy had passed, time had gone by, he’d talked to more people that day than he was prepared for, and his mind and body were settling into the calm in the aftermath.

Ray leaned back in his chair, looking out the window in a pensive trance. There were very few times that he actually got to take a minute and enjoy the sights, something he intended to do more often. South of his tower descended to flat land, the trees decreased in height as it stretch on and he could see more of the sky and mountains in the distance thanks to that. The sky was bright and clear and Ray could still feel the heat from the day seeping into his little nook of the woods.

When Ray felt his eyes grow heavy he had to snap himself out of it, rubbing at his eyes to bring them back into awareness, sometimes it was just too peaceful. Ray looked back down at his desk, looking at the little drawings of Ryan and the S symbol, he smirked, “I’m such an idiot.” He thought aloud to himself, but he picked up the piece of paper and left his seat. Inside one of the supply boxes he’d cleaned up earlier, Ray had discovered they left him a little box of thumbtacks. Now they sat on the bookshelf/not bookshelf in the middle of the tower. He took one from the box and went over to his bed, crawling on it to get close to the window. Ray pressed the paper up where he could see it and Ryan’s tower at the same time and tacked it onto the wood. It was weird to do but also kind of comforting to Ray, to have a likeness he could now glare at whenever he was woken up early.

_“What are you doing?”_

Ray nearly jumped out of his skin the voice made itself known from his radio. He grabbed at his heart as he flipped around and then sunk down into his bed, “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST RYAN!”

There was that familiar, smug chuckle before he broke out laughing, _“What did I do?”_

“You scared the crap out of me!” Ray yelled across the room, knowing the radio would pick up his voice, “What the hell, you’re supposed to be napping!”

_“I was, I got two hours in.”_

‘Two hours?’ Ray thought to himself, had really not talked to Ryan for two hours. Time must have really passed with Michael and Gavin.

_“So, what did I miss? Have you had a thrilling day of sitting on your ass and staring out windows so far?”_

Ray got up and snatched the radio off his desk before he sat back on his bed, looking out towards Ryan’s tower, “Actually Michael gave me a call, we talked for a while.”

_“Really?”_

Ray nodded along, “I met Gavin too.”

_“What? Wow, you’ve been busy. Look at you, Sunshine, you’re turning into a social butterfly.”_

Ray smirked, glancing at his little drawing of Ryan, “I wouldn’t say that. I think sometimes I piss Michael off.”

 _“Meh, don’t worry about that so much, everything has the potential to piss Michael off. He’s not going to be really mad at you, Michael’s a lot more calm than he seems,”_ That was reassuring, even though it still bother Ray that he might be approaching subjects he really shouldn’t, _“So what were you doing in the window?”_

“Why were you watching me in the window?” Ray countered, at this point he really didn’t need to point out to Ryan that he kept watching him, Ryan had no intention of stopping, that much was clear.

 _“I was making sure you didn’t fall asleep on the job, like me.”_ Ryan joked, Ray was glad to hear the he sounded better now. His jokes weren’t half-hearted and he wasn’t going in and out of the conversation anymore, so he at least got some rest.

“I was just hanging up a picture.” Ray answered honestly, looking over his doodle of Ryan. His face heated up as he thought about how weird it was to have a picture of Ryan hanging on his wall now.

_“Like what? Photo of mom? Band poster?”_

Ray scratched at neck awkwardly as he mumbled, “It’s a… picture of you?”

_“... What was that? You got quiet.”_

Ray huffed, suddenly really embarrassed for even making that drawing, “It’s a…,” He stopped his voice from rising too loud out of frustration, “It’s a picture of you.”

                                                                          

 _“Me?”_ Ryan gave a small laugh, _“When did that happen?”_

“I drew you while you were asleep.” Ray admitted sheepishly, “Look, you have a drawing of me so I figured…”

 _“Whoa, slow down, it’s fine.  No need to get defensive, I don’t mind, I think it’s actually pretty sweet of you Ray.”_ Ryan’s voice was reassuring and Ray wasn’t actually surprised. He was just upset at himself in the way that he felt flustered and a little guilty.

“You… do?” It was odd, in the moment, Ray felt very different. He felt like he’d just been caught writing a note in class and the teacher read his secrets out loud. With Ryan dismissing it, he felt relieved but his chest tightened up, a little anxiously, and he wasn’t sure why he was still overreacting.

 _“Yeah, that’s a compliment in my book,”_ Ray could hear the sheer excitement in Ryan’s voice, _“I mean, from my experience, drawing someone at random isn’t really a thing. You draw people you like and want to try and put a face to a name. So, to me, that tells me you don’t hate me. And that’s pretty good as far as I’m concerned.”_

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Ray agreed, “I don’t hate you. You annoy me, sometimes, but I don’t hate you.”

 _“Then, I'd say that's good.”_ Ryan concluded, almost a little too optimistic for just being called annoying _, "So, do I look good?"_

Ray snorted _, "With the way I draw? You look like fucking DoodleBob with a beard."_

_"... What the fuck is “DoodleBob”?”_

* * *

 

It was late, or at least Ray assumed it was late by how dark it was outside, when he heard the static calling to him from his desk. He sat up, realizing how late it must be if Ryan’s light were out, Ryan had outlasted him every night so far, his lights would be the only thing Ray could see against the night sky besides what little the moon illuminated.

There was no point in looking for the time, the clock he had hanging up in the corner of his tower had been broken a long time ago. He’d found that out after a bit of confusion with Ryan one night. It didn’t really matter so much, time wasn’t necessarily important out in the woods when you have no schedule, if he needed a rough estimate he looked to the sky himself to see how far along the sun was but usually Ryan was his clock if he ever really needed to know.

He let out a loud groan and rolled out of bed, he couldn’t see anything in the dark, especially without his glasses on, but turning on the light sounded like a worse idea so he blindly felt around till he managed to grab hold of his radio. Ray practically flung himself back into bed, curling up in his sheets before he opened the line.

“... Hello?”

 _“Pop quiz dickhead!”_ A new, very loud, and apparently vulgar voice burst through. Ray’s eyes went wide, not expecting that at all, _“You get $5,000 dollars, you are required to either-”_

 _“Don’t ask him the dick question.”_  Another, deeper voice interrupted. If Ray hadn’t heard so much of Ryan’s voice in the past few days he would have mistaken this new voice for Ryan’s.

Ray was so confused at this point, he did not expect any of this and he was trying to grasp what was happening, and what “the dick question” was, “... Wha- Who is this?” Ray mumble back, rubbing at his eyes now that had just experienced the strangest wake up call of his life.

The other two didn’t seem to notice as they were talking amongst themselves, arguing back and forth about what was appropriate to say and how the one didn’t give a shit. Ray just laid there, listening to them go back and forth, he was so out of it he couldn’t really focus on what they were saying but didn’t really bother to try and find out.

“....I’m just… gonna go now…” Ray eventually mumbled sleepily into the radio. His fingers were an inch away from closing his line when both voices stopped him.

_“No!”_

_“Hey Wait! Don’t!”_

“Whaaat?” Ray whined back, “I’m tired, I don’t even know who this is, I think you have the wrong frequency.”

 _“Pretty sure we don’t, Ray Narvaez Jr.”_ The vulgar one pointed out though they we more calm now, even if Ray could hear them slur a bit.

It sounded really disturbing to hear his full name being called out by some drunk sounding stranger, “Okay, you do have the right frequency… Who is this?”

 _“You boss.”_ Came the drunken slur, he sounded a bit annoyed. Ray sat up, a little stunned himself, this was his boss? Geoff Ramsey? Before they could continue off on whatever tirade they were about to go into, the deeper voice interrupted him.

_“Right now you’re a drunken asshole, I told you not to call him in right now. Go to sleep.”_

_“I’m not going any-”_

_“_ **_Go to sleep Geoff_ ** _.”_ The other went quiet and Ray was alarmed to the confirmation that the drunken voice truly did belong to his boss. He heard a small mumble and a click as one of the signals ended, _“I’m sorry about that, he’s had too much. Too much alcohol with company is one thing, too much alcohol with no one, he goes a little too far.”_

Ray ran a hand through his hair, exhausted and confused, he yawned, “What… the hell just happened?”

 _“Drunk dial?”_ They offered, like they were trying to feel out which answer would make him least upset. Ray took it for what it was, he didn’t care that much, not when it’s the middle of the night.

“Who is this, again?” Ray asked once more, having not caught their name.

 _“I’m Jack, I try to keep our drunk boss from making calls like that, tonight I failed,”_ Jack laughed, _“Don’t worry about this, I’m sorry your first impression of him was… well this, I’ll make sure he remembers what he did tomorrow. Go back to sleep, and goodnight.”_

The radio returned to it’s silence before Ray could protest any further. Instead he let out  sigh, turning off his radio and letting it fall down his arm as he laid there drifting back into sleep. He tried his best to ignore what just happened, whatever all of that was, it could wait till tomorrow.

* * *

Day 4

* * *

 

 

 _“So wait, wait, let me get this straight. Last night you talked to Geoff_ **_and_ ** _Jack?”_ Ray could hear how much Ryan was trying to keep from laughing. Retelling what he could remember had apparently been the best thing to wake up to for him.

“I’d say it was more like they talked to me, I was half asleep.” Ray corrected, gesturing his hand in the air above him while he still lay in his bed. He’d been startled awake by Ryan having forgotten he left his radio in bed with him from the impromptu call last, but he was happy to not have to get up just yet.

_“And Geoff was drunk? Like really, really drunk?”_

“Yep. I mean, I’m not really sure what drunk is for this guy but his hello was “Pop quiz dickhead”, and then he got cut off, Jack said something about a “dick question”, I have no idea.” Ray snorted a laugh, the whole thing sounded so ridiculous now, especially having to explain it outloud.

Ryan just started laughing, _“Wow, that’s_ really _drunk for him! I can’t believe he woke you up with the dick question, what um- what did you say?”_

“About what?”

_“What was your answer to the dick question?”_

“I didn’t get to hear it,” Ray laughed, “Ryan, what _is_ the dick question?”

 _“Oh god… I don’t remember the specifics, he’s got some lead in or something I think it involves money, you sure you want to hear it?”_ Ryan’s tone was skeptical but that only fueled Ray’s curiosity.

“Now more than anything.”

_“Uhhh… I don’t know how to phrase it right, but basically would you rather suck a guys dick or be fucked in the ass.”_

That was it, Ray started laughing uncontrollably, “Fucking christ… really?  Oh my god!”

 _“Yep, that’s the dick question.”_ Ryan sounded embarrassed to have even explained it.

“Why? Why is that the question? What does that mean?” Ray’s voice rose as he kept laughing, he tried to stifle it back so he could speak more clearly.

                                                             

_“It doesn’t mean anything it’s just one of many dumb questions he asks us.”_

“I mean is there a right answer? A wrong answer? What’s the catch?”

 _“I don’t think it goes any particular way, it’s just a stupid question.”_ Ryan told him, amused.

“What was your answer to it then?”

Ryan sputtered on his end, _“... What?”_

“Which did you pick?” Ray chuckled, it was funny whenever Ryan was embarrassed.

 _“I… Really don’t want to answer that question.”_ Ryan said sheepishly.

“Do it.”

_“I-”_

“Do it, Ryan!”

_“Come on, it was bad enough I had to answer it before-”_

“Do it, no balls!”

_“Alright, fine! I said I’d take it up the ass, happy?”_

Ray burst out laughing again, he wasn’t sure what made it so funny, the mental image of Ryan, the big guy taking it up the ass, or just the entire circumstances going on.

_“Alright, alright, now your turn, Ray. Let me hear your answer.”_

Ray tried to keep from laughing so hard, a few small laughs made their way through before he could finally calm himself down enough for a proper reply, “I’d rather suck a dick.”

_“Well, you know what to tell Geoff now.”_

Ray huffed, “Is he really our boss?”

 _“Yeah…,”_ Ryan told him awkwardly, _“That’s our boss.”_

* * *

 

Ray watched the sunset from the natural bridge across Thunder Canyon, just a little ways down from his tower. The urge to get out of that small room on stilts had reminded him about the little ledge and the view it had. So after packing up something to eat for dinner, he made his way down to enjoy the last lights of his fourth day. Being outside, calm and relaxed, he was able to think and ponder about what might happen next. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to remember how many days would go by, unless he made himself a calendar. Already he had to spend a good few minutes remembering what day of the week it was. It was very difficult, and it was something he realized was common about most things. If it didn’t matter, if it didn’t fall into a routine or schedule, it didn’t matter and it was quickly forgotten.

He wondered how easily he could forget himself out here, if he was just left out here alone. Already he had broken his own habits, he hadn’t even touched his DS since arriving, it just sat snugly on his shelf, with the books. He was already so different, changed from what he’d always been before. He was sociable; loud, joking, and he actually enjoyed every conversation he had. All because being out here made him forget about what bothered him. There was no constant hum that the city had, there was just the pleasant sounds of the forest and the friendly voices of his fellow watchers. He talked to people now, and honestly enjoyed talking with them. Even if he knew them by voice alone, they were more real and honest than most people he’d ever met. It was nice to finally talk to people that were so open and trusting and genuine.

Ryan, in particular, had him talking so easily. A stubborn as Ray was, Ryan easily broke through his little mental barrier. If he would admit it, Ray would own up to the reason why. He couldn’t take being alone, not out here. There were moments of quiet, like this, staring out into distance. These were the moments of tranquility he craved but still felt secure enough within. After too long though, these thoughts and realizations would start running circles in his head, at times he was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t have Ryan at the push of a button to distract him back into reality.

For now he was at peace, and he finished his dinner as the sky turned to the bright oranges and reds as the walls of the canyon glowed like fire. His day had been simple, mostly talking with Ryan throughout the morning and a long, boring watch of the forest. Watch had gone by easier today, and he had began to adjust himself to the pace of his watch. All he had to do now was watch the sun sink below the treeline and head back to end the day.

Just as he began to think of returning, the feeling of something brushing against his hand made Ray jump, arms flailing to keep his balance so high above the small canyon below. To his side was an unusual sight, a small turtle had bumped its way into him, now it lay curled inside of it’s shell, fearful of what it might have disturbed.

Ray let out a sigh of relief, picking up the little shell and letting it sit in his palm for a while before it poked it’s head out. It was cute, big eye looked up at him so curiously, it almost looked like it was smiling at him.

“Hey little guy. You’re fucking adorable, want to see the sunset too?” Ray asked the turtle, not expecting an answer but pretending as if he could understand it. Ray reached over to the scraps of his dinner and took out the lettuce from his sandwich, offering it to his newfound friend. Slowly, it neck outstretched and snatched up the little leaf, happily eating it up.

Ray reached over to his pack and fetched his radio, “Hey Ryan?”

On the other end, Ryan cleared his throat before he responded, _“What’s up? Enjoying the sunset?”_

“Yeah, and I made a friend.” Ray sat the turtle down on his leg but it didn’t move, it only settled there, still munching on it’s snack.

_“Oh yeah?”_

“Yep, he’s pretty cute too.” Ray gave the shell a little rub, he wasn’t sure if the turtle enjoyed it or not but it didn’t retreat into it’s shell anyways.

 _“A_ really _good friend?”_ Ryan teased.

“A _very_ good friend,” Ray teased right back, “He’s sitting in my lap right now.”

_“...Okay, dropping the charades, I’m curious now. Sometimes I can’t tell when you’re joking.”_

Ray chuckled, “I found a turtle, or well, it found me.”

_“Oh, I see. It must have wanted some company.”_

“It’s really cute, actually, and it’s not afraid of me. It came up to me, it’s just sitting with me, I think it likes me, he likes me, she likes me… I can’t tell.” Ray shrugged, it didn’t really matter so much to him, it was a turtle and that was cool enough.

 _“I can’t help you there, I’m not a professional when it comes to determining the gender of turtles. But if you want to have a little company, I don’t think anyone would mind if you let the little guy tag along with you for a while.”_ Ryan offered.

“Seriously?” Ray felt the rush of happiness swell through him like a kid getting a puppy.

 _“I won’t tell a soul.”_ He promised.

“Sweet,” Ray cheered, picking up the turtle and turning it to look at him, “What do you think about that Gunther?”

_“Gunther?”_

“Yeah, that’s it’s name.”

 _“Okay,”_ Ryan let it go, amused, _“That’s as good of a name as any for a turtle I guess.”_

                                                                                    
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone that wants to know about the dick question a little more, please watch the first like three minutes of this and you too will feel so enlightened :) ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBgAAfQLmMU
> 
> Just as an update the next chapter has gotten delayed a bit due to final exams but it's nearly done and to make up for the lengthy time I'm going to make next chapter longer and trust me, things will start getting interesting in the next chapter.


	4. Getting to Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. I had finals that really put things behind but I made this chapter a little bit longer to make up for that. Also, if the chapter seems to be moving a bit chaotic, it's actually intentional. Firewatch starts speeding things up like this, only showing little blurbs of certain days, little important things. A lot of things happen that we just don't get to see and I want that to be the same in this story. I like the idea of having to imagine what they've all talked about behind the scenes.
> 
> Btw, if you want some music suggestions to listen to while you read any of these chapters, this entire work is fueled by Jackie and Wilson, Like Real People Do, In the Woods Somewhere, In a week, From Eden, Arsonists Lullaby, and Work song by Hozier as well as Hold Back the River by James Bay. I got on a real Hozier kick just before I started writing any of this and whenever I'm stuck I keep listening to those songs, mainly Jackie and Wilson.
> 
> Anyways, here's chapter four.

* * *

 

Day 5

* * *

 

_ “Two Forks, come in.” _

Ray heard the call of his radio from the stairs of his tower. It was so easy to hear his radio now with the hole through his window. He sat Gunther aside who slowly flailed his little arms in protest. He fetched it and opened the line, returning to his deck where he sat at the railing, returning the little turtle to his lap.

“This is Two Forks, who is this?” 

_ “This is Geoff Ramsey of Clarks Fork, calling you to introduce you to the job now that the cable is repaired and I can finally reach you,”  _ The voice that Ray had known drunk, was now slowly relaying the words like a robot reading a script,  _ “Welcome to the job, Ray Narvaez Jr.” _

Ray raised an eyebrow, “Hi…”

There was a long, heavy sigh on the other end,  _ “...Hi.” _

Ray shifted awkwardly, “Well, this is certainly different from the first time we spoke.”

Geoff cleared his throat,  _ “I uh… Yeah, I’ve been meaning to say something about that…” _

“It’s alright,” Ray shrugged, “I thought it was funny.”

_ “No worries?” _

“No worries.”

_ “Thank fucking god, Jack had me thinking you were going to file a harassment report against me.”  _ Immediately Geoff’s voice loosened up, he didn’t sound drunk, or like a robot. His voice was had a higher pitch than he expected but also had a jovial slack to it.

“No, no,” Ray assured him, “It gave me something fun to ask Ryan about.”

_ “Oh yeah? What uh… what did I say?”  _

“You were trying to ask me the dick question.” 

_ “Oh goddammit, I ruined it,”  _ Geoff whined, disappointed but amused nonetheless, _ “That sucks dicks, dude, that’s  _ the _ question. Oh well, fuck it.” _

“No, what sucks dick is apparently me, because that was my answer.” Ray admitted, he’d already told Ryan he figured he might as well give his answer to the one who asked it.

He heard Geoff click his tongue on the other end,  _ “It’s got to be a maturity thing. All you young guys say suck a dick, anyone older says they’d rather be fucked.” _

Ray snorted a laugh, the how thing was ridiculous and only more ridiculous with Geoff trying to approach it with any form of logic, “Seriously, what is with that question?”

_ “No reason,”  _ Geoff replied simply. Ray sighed, he should have expected no answer,  _ “So, Ryan’s told me about you, you’ve taken to the job pretty quick. Already kicked out some campers and extinguished some fires.” _

“Yes, sir.” Ray answered.

_ “Uh-uh, don’t call me sir, sounds weird. Just Geoff.” _

“Yes, Geoff.” Ray quickly corrected. Ryan had told him he’d get that response but he thought it was polite to at least try the proper way first.

_ “I bet you’ve had more excitement in four days then you will for the rest of summer.” _

“That’s what Ryan tells me,” Ray agreed, “He told me last night I should be ashamed for not filling my ass sitting quota, I’m a natural shame to the firewatchers.”

Geoff had an amusing low chuckle,  _ “Oh yeah, a real shame, I should demote you.”  _

“ _ Can _ you be demoted when you’re a fire watcher? What does that make me? Ember peeker?” Ray joked back.

_ “Sure,”  _ Geoff let out a sigh,  _ “Thank god we didn’t get some hard ass out here, at least we got someone funny.” _

“Glad I can provide some amusement.” Ray let out a sigh of his own as he lay back onto the deck. He felt Gunther start to crawl up his chest and settle there. For a turtle, Gunther didn’t seem to have been hatched with any threshold for fear and took to the pet life quickly. Then again, Ray suspected it had something to do with all the free food and attention. He let his fingertips rest on Gunther’s smooth shell and gave it a gentle scratch.

_ “You definitely do with the stories Ryan’s told me about you already.” _

Ray rolled his eyes, “Apparently Ryan can’t keep his mouth shut. Are you going to start calling me “Sunshine” too?”

_ “No,”  _ Geoff hummed a laugh,  _ “I was going to let him have that one for himself.” _

“That’s good to know.”

_ “I think it’s great he’s coming up with a nickname that isn’t one of five names he uses for everything like Edgar or something.”  _ Geoff reasoned.

Ray let out a groan at the thought of that nickname, “If he called me that you wouldn’t be talking to me right now, I would have thrown myself in the cave where that kid died and gladly just wait to die.”

_ “Good thing he stuck with Sunshine.”  _ Geoff mused,  _ “It’s surprising he bothered though, he’s not quick to warming up to people. He didn’t even want to be the one to greet you, he only did it ‘cause I asked him to.” _

Ray knitted his eyebrows together, Ryan seemed so excited that first night, “He didn’t? You could have fooled me, I couldn’t get him to stop talking to me.”

Geoff cleared his throat,  _ “I don’t know, sometimes he’s all fight or flight responses. He doesn’t like just talking to people, like starting conversations is  _ not  _ his strongsuit. He sucks dick at being sociable but, I don’t know man, I can’t get him to shut up about you. He’s usually the quiet guy.” _

Ray found this odd, that description just didn’t match up with the Ryan he knew. Ryan was quiet sometimes, just listening to what Ray had to say instead of going any further with it but Ryan’s the one that started most of the conversations, “He never seemed that shy to me.”

_ “Yeah, he’s really taken to you. Something you did got on his good side I guess. I mean, I told him to keep me informed about how you’re doing since I couldn’t get through to you myself but he doesn’t just report, he talks about you all the time.”  _ Geoff explained,  _ “But thanks, you know, I haven’t seen him this happy to meet someone in a while.”  _

Ray shrugged, a little worried now for what that meant for Ryan. He felt like he should take it as a compliment to bring about a drastic change in personality but honestly, it was strange to think Ryan wasn’t always how he normally was, “So, he’s not always like this? He’s not talking all the time, or joking, or… being how he is right now?”

_ “Only with people he knows and likes, he’s like that with us, not with strangers.” _

“Huh…” Ray accepted, at a loss for words, “He’s just… nothing like what you described when he’s talking with me.”

_ “Like I said, you must have really gotten on his good side.” _

Ray let that sink in, it was hard to believe it but Geoff knew Ryan better than he did. If Ryan really was as reserved as Geoff said than as surprising as it may be, it must be true, “That’s surprising, first impressions of me couldn’t have been all that great.”

_ “They never are for anyone, hard to know someone by just their voice. Anyways,”  _ Geoff changed the subject, _ “I’ve got some things to go over with you, just some boring stuff, just stop me if you’ve already heard about something. But while I do have a connection to you, I need to clear some things.” _

“Okay.” Ray cleared his throat, it was so easy to forget Geoff was technically his boss when all this time he’d been taking his commands from Ryan. 

_ “Let’s see, I’m supposed to go over the area with you.” _

“I have a map.” Ray told him, “If that’s what you mean.”

_ “You figured out how to use it alright?” _

“I practically use it religiously when I’m out.” Ray exaggerated but in a way, it was true. He couldn’t go anywhere without checking the map over and over again.

_ “Good, but you need to know your area by your own eyes too. That comes with time though.”  _ Geoff dismissed,  _ “Just keep taking hikes and you’ll know your area pretty quick.” _

Ray nodded, he was beginning to know the area around his tower pretty well as it was, “I thought we were supposed to be locked up in our towers, watching for fires, and filling our ass sitting quotas?”

_ “Fuck that,”  _ Came Geoff’s quick reply,  _ “That would drive me insane after a week. Hell no, go out and take walks, keep yourself moving. Don’t kill yourself or anything, but don’t stay up in your tower till the end of summer.” _

Ray covered his mouth to hide some laughter, something about Geoff’s voice and how much cursing he did made him laugh, “Alright. It gets boring in here anyways.”

_ “Okay, moving on… radios…” _

“I think I’ve got that one down.”

_ “I hope so, if you didn’t this conversation just got really weird.” _

“Didn’t you know Geoff? You’re talking to a ghooooost~” Ray joked, wavering his voice to sound spooky.

_ “Alright, alright,”  _ Geoff laughed,  _ “Come on, we need to get through this.” _

“Okay, I’m listening, I swear.”

* * *

 

_ “...What about… Ah, A.C. I bet you miss that right now.” _

“Oh yeah, I could definitely use some of that right now. It’s so hot out here.”

_ “You have many nights like this in New York?” _

This game had been going on for most of the night now. So long that Ray forgot how they even started, something got them on the topic of things they missed from civilization and at some point someone had started adding a “it’s your turn” and now they were here. Ray had his legs through the railing of his tower, facing Ryan’s tower, his radio in his hands while he rested his arms and chin on the rail. He’d brought his spyglass out with him but hardly used it, it was so dark and his eyesight was so bad all he could see was a shadow in the other tower moving occasionally. He debated going in now and then but quickly remembered how hot it was in there. Even now, his door was left open to hopefully keep the air moving through.

                                                                        

“No, I mean, New York can get hot but never this hot.”

_ “New York sounds great right about now then.” _

“I don’t think you’d like it there.” Ray warned, Ryan just didn’t strike him as a fan of super urban places.

_ “Yeah, you’re probably right, too much city.”  _ Ryan conceded.

“Alright, my turn,” Ray tapped his finger against the railing rapidly, a habit he’d picked up from tapping the triggers on his controllers when he was bored, “You miss… driving?”

_ “... Yes, actually. Yeah, I miss going on drives.”  _ Ryan hummed.

“Going on drives? You mean like cross country trips?” Ray wasn’t sure what he meant, there were a lot of things Ryan would say that he just couldn’t figure out. Old references or things that only his generation had, but he figured Ryan thought the same for a lot of things he did. Afterall, Ryan seemed constantly perplexed by his meme references.

_ “No, drives, you don’t know what that is? You’ve never gone on one?” _

“I can’t drive, never learned.” Ray admitted with a shrug.

_ “Seriously?” _

“Never needed to, I lived in New York, it’s all about public transportation.”

_ “Oh right, I guess you wouldn’t then,”  _ Ryan took a pause, trying to come up with an answer,  _ “I think drives were more my time too, it was less expensive anyways. Just get in the truck, drive around a while, nowhere in particular to go, it’s relaxing.” _

“I’ll just trust you on that one.” Ray let it go, he didn’t much care for cars anyways.

_ “Maybe I’ll take you on one after summer, it’s more of an experience thing.” _

Ray rolled his eyes, “Sure, why not, you can relax to the peaceful sounds of me clawing the upholstery out of your truck in fear.”

Honestly, that did sound like it might be nice, as long as Ryan didn’t drive like a maniac. He remembered the sights he saw when he hitchhiked a ride out to the trailhead, the trees and overlooks were gorgeous.

_ “Ah yes, how’d you know I love the sounds of fear?”  _ Ryan chuckled menacingly.

Ray snorted a laugh, sometimes Ryan just liked to sound crazy, “I had a hunch, come on, it’s your turn.”

_ “Alright, let’s see… What haven’t I done? .... Smokes?” _

“...No...” Ray bit his lip, that wasn’t entirely honest.

_ “...You hesitated.” _

“No.” Ray corrected.

_ “No, no, no, go back. What was with the hesitation?”  _

Ray sighed, Ryan was big on catching little details and hounding until he got the real answers, “You didn’t specify, that’s why.”

_ “What? Cigarettes, I meant cigarettes. Actually, I don’t know why I bothered, you can’t work here if you’re a smoker.”  _ Ryan retraced his logic.

“See, pointless, I don’t miss cigarettes.” Ray agreed, hoping that would satisfy, it didn’t.

_ “Now wait, why did you want me to specify? You miss smoking something else?” _

Ray shifted uncomfortably, “I’m… not answering that question.”

_ “Come on, this is interesting, I want to know. There’s nothing to worry about, Michael does a little ‘recreation’ now and again.”  _

Ray scratched his head, “... I smoke dat herb on occasion.”

_ “... That’s it?” _

Ray’s eyebrows furrowed, “Yeah…?”

_ “Hell, I’ve done worse.” _

At this, Ray sat up straight, eyes going wide, “What? What have  _ you _ done?”

_ “College,”  _ Ryan replied, as if that answered everything,  _ “I’ll tell you the stories sometimes, not tonight. It’s your turn, anyways.” _

“You’re just going to leave me there? After I told you what I’ve done?” Ray protested, feeling cheated.

_ “Mine come in stories, long stories. We don’t want to be here all night.” _

“Speak for yourself, I want to know.”

_ “Come on, Sunshine, just not tonight.”  _ Ryan sighed, sounding tired.

Ray took pity on him, but swore to himself to hound Ryan for some answers another time, “Fuck, how do I top that?”

* * *

 

Day 7

* * *

 

 

“Okay seriously, what the fuck is this thing in the middle of my tower?” Ray finally remembered to ask. It had been a very sudden realization, interrupting his day just as he started to go over the many maps and make little notes on his own smaller map of his area.

_ “Uhm… Hi?”  _ Ryan responded, confused. 

“Hi,” Ray corrected himself, “Now seriously, before I drive myself insane or forget about it again, please tell me what the weird bookshelf map thing is.”

_ “...What…? Oh, you mean the firefinder?”  _ Ryan asked, it was clear he was trying to make sense of the situation just as much as Ray was.

“Is that what this thing is?” Ray shrugged.

_ “The uh… the big round map with the rulers and the sight stick?” _

Ray’s mouth moved into a big ‘o’ as he realized that was what the metal pieces jutting out of sides were, “...Yeah.”

_ “That’s the firefinder.”  _ Ryan confirmed.

Ray scratched at his head, “Why am I not using this?”

_ “Because you haven’t needed to, and they get kind of confusing. Trust me, if you need to use it, I’ll tell you how,”  _ Ryan assured him,  _ “Something wrong with listening to my voice, Ray?” _

“Do you want me to answer that honestly?”

_ “Shut up.”  _ Ryan shot his joke down quick, but the little huffs of laughter didn’t go unnoticed.

“Alright.” Ray laughed back.

* * *

 

_ “What am I supposed to say?” _

“Anything you want, he’s not going to care.” Ray assured Ryan, it was just another one of the weird things he and Ryan had started to do in order to pass the time. He held his radio in the small box that he made into a home for Gunther.

_ “What do you say to a turtle?” _

“Weren’t you the one that told me that hello’s are a pretty good start?” Ray pointed out, delighting in the groan from Ryan’s end, he loved using Ryan’s own words against him.

Ryan let out a long sigh,  _ “Hello turtle… Gunther?” _

Ray watched as Gunther turned his head towards the radio slowly, “Aw, I think he likes your voice.”

_ “How can you tell? It’s a turtle.” _

“He looked at the radio.” Ray reasoned, taking the radio back.

_ “So? He’s probably wondering why a box is talking. At best it just means he learned his name.” _

Ray huffed, “Ryan the logic guy, no imagination old man.”

_ “At least I’m not the one going insane talking with a turtle named Gunther.” _

* * *

 

It was hard to tell what late was but it certainly always came quickly. Time passed fast for Ray when his days were nothing but sitting around in his tower and talking with Ryan. Just the constant string of words and the exchange of words could pass the hours so fast. He could remember all that he did that day, it was all there in that tower, just talking with Ryan and playing silly games with their words to pass the time away. At some point, after the sky went dark, Ray found himself in back in his bed, with his sheets a mess underneath him that he didn’t use and his radio next to him.

Ray was tired, fading fast, but he stayed awake, listening to Ryan talk. He didn’t know what was being said at times, he just kept holding on to that voice to keep him conscious. It was becoming a routine to talk with Ryan all day until he needed sleep. Ryan never went to sleep before him and always had some story to tell or some wisdom to pass on or even just a bad joke. It didn’t matter to Ray, he just liked to hear it, it helped him forget about being alone. 

In that moment of just listening to a voice that was miles away from him, a voice belonging to a man he had never met in person, he realized how much he liked it. The deep voice that soothed him like a lullaby, reassured him like a protector, and made him smile in seconds.

“...Ryan?”

_ “I think he- … Yeah?”  _

“...You have… a nice voice…” Ray barely managed to mumble out, eyelids heavy and body feeling impossibly weighted.

_ “...Thanks…? You okay Ray?”  _ Ryan questioned, quick to realize that Ray wasn’t quite right anymore.

“Mmhmm…” Ray’s voice was barely registered, sounding small as he let his eyes close. The darkness of his calm mind swarmed him, covering his mind like a thin film as Ryan’s voice followed him into unconsciousness. That deep low rumble of a chuckle was a wave goodbye to what was left of Ray’s awareness.

_ “Goodnight, Sunshine.” _

* * *

 

_ Day 10 _

* * *

 

 

_ “Ray. Raaaaay! Wake up, Sunshine, come on!” _

Ray’s eyes flung open, shocked awake by the loud voice. He reached up and wiped his mouth where drool and escaped in his sleep, “I‘m up, I‘m up…”

_ “There you are, I thought I’d never stop hearing your snoring,”  _ Ryan’s voice calmed down and Ray sight, rubbing at his eyes. He rarely slept so deeply that he’d start snoring and drooling, _ “You really need to remember to close your line before you go to sleep. You might start hearing things or worse, anyone could tune in and hear you. You snore like a chainsaw.” _

Ray let out a loud yawn that rattled his body and woke his muscles by shaking them into a stretch, “Mm... I’m sorry… How long did you… have to listen?”

_ “I ended up leaving mine on most of the night, it’s fine, I didn’t even know the line was still open till I heard you snoring this morning. You probably heard me snoring too.”  _ Ryan assured him.

Ray shook his head, effectively rubbing his cheek deeper into his pillow, “Nope. Too tired.”

_ “Good, I don’t think you’d want to hear me snoring anyways, don’t get too comfortable though. You need to get up anyways, it’s supply run day.” _

Ray rolled over, stretching wide and hearing his joints pop, he let out a pleased sigh at the feeling, “...What’s that?”

_ “You want food? You gotta go get it. It’s your food supply for the rest of the month.”  _ Ryan emphasized the urgency with the stern tone in his voice,  _ “Come on, I had to hike out your way and take that rickety old ropeway out to your supply drop, you can at least go pick it up.” _

“Okay, okay…,” Ray submitted, slowly getting up out of his bed, “Just give me a second to get dressed.”

_ “Just don’t fall back asleep.” _

“I’m not!” Ray whined, raising his voice as he crossed his tower to the small sink he had and splashing some water on his face. 

_ “Alright, just making sure.” _

* * *

 

It had been about a week since Ray had been this far from his tower. He’d taken a few small walks at times, often going down to the Medicine Wheel he’d discovered just a little ways south east of his tower. He wasn’t sure what the purpose of it was, or the history behind the rock structure, but there was something calming about it all the same. 

Honestly, Ray was happy to be sent out on a task again, he’d spent way too much time sitting in his tower and talking away to the other watchers. He saw now why Michael would stop his conversations for the chance of taking a hike. I was refreshing to get outside and walk around, something freeing like a caged animal being let out into the world. 

He opted to take his shortcut back across Thunder Canyon this time, cutting his time out by half already. It wasn’t the safest course, jumping across from one ledge to another, but it hadn’t failed him yet and his legs needed the workout. He was sure he wouldn’t be taking that way back anyways, not with supplies in his hands, it was better to take the shortcut while he could.

He climbed his rope, still secured from a week ago, and made his way back through the burnt area around Mule Point. He could recognize familiar landmarks he’d passed even now and was surprised just how much he remembered despite only traveling through it all once. 

Ray smiled to himself, feeling proud of himself for retaining something after a week anyways. He opened the line on his radio, having shut it off earlier after Ryan continued to remind him he should close his line. It just slipped his mind, and after all, it made more sense to keep it open, made conversation feel more real, almost face to face.

“You know, you were right, I am starting to remember the area.”

_ “Talking to me again?”  _ Ryan pointed out but Ray could tell he didn’t really mind it, Ryan was bad at hiding his amusement.

“You were the one that wanted me to remember to close my line, I was just letting you know I got the message.” Ray sassed him back.

_ “...Alright, maybe I did walk into that one.” _

“Was my snoring really that bad?” Ray had to ask, it’d been bothering him for a while now.

_ “What? No, hell I live with four other men, I sleep through a  _ lot _ of snoring. That’s not why I was saying you should remember to turn off your line. You could end up listening in on things or someone could listen in on you,”  _ Ryan explained, reassuringly,  _ “Whenever you leave your line open, it’s freeflow, as long as someone’s got your signal, they can tune in and hear anything you have to say and you can do that too, if you’re on someone’s signal and you both leave your line open. It can get confusing or awkward or kinda creepy sometimes.” _

“Oh…,” Ray nodded along slowly, he hadn’t realized that was how the connection worked on their radios. All that time he’d left his line open, anyone could have heard him if they wanted, “That is pretty creepy. Sorry, have I been creeping you out leaving the line open?”

_ “No, that’s not what I meant, _ ” Ryan laughed at the notion,  _ “I’m just saying you might want to think about it for your own privacy.” _

“Right, okay.” Ray was glad to know about this new information, he seemed to always be missing some piece of information that he really needed to know.

They both went quiet for a little while, it was fine as far as Ray was concerned. Leaving the area of Mule Point, he came around to the steep climb that would lead him up towards the trail for the supply drop. He spent a good while hiking up the incline till he came to his rope, hanging down from the shale wall. He climbed up, realizing how much easier it was now that he was starting to know what he was doing. After reaching the top, he knew he wouldn’t have much more to go till he reach the supply drop.

_ “So… speaking about privacy…,”  _ The hesitation in Ryan’s voice was cause for Ray to raise an eyebrow in question,  _ “You, uh… Said something the other night, right before you passed out on me.” _

“Oh boy,” Ray sighed, “What did I do? I said something stupid didn’t I?”

_ “I wouldn’t say stupid.”  _ Ryan voice did not instill confidence.

“You wouldn’t say it was smart though, would you?”

_ “Uh… Well, it’s more of a… something I thought you should be aware of. I’m not sure if you remember it, you were pretty far gone. It’s just been bothering me, I feel like I should tell you, just in case.” _

Ray stopped his hike, “Was it that bad?”

_ “No!”  _ Ryan was quick to correct,  _ “Not at all.” _

Ray shrugged, pursing his lips, “Then what was it, you’re like avoiding the subject but you want to say something. What was it?”

_ “It’s just, well it was a compliment you made, to me, and… it’s been going through my head that I don’t think you meant to say and that makes me think this is going to get awkward.” _

“This is already awkward, it can’t get any worse than this Ryan.” Ray reasoned, running a hand through his hair and scratching it nervously. 

_ “I guess that’s true. Well...you told me, while you were falling asleep, that I had a nice voice. I guess I’m just trying to clarify what that was about, if you remember.”  _

Ray’s face went red, he didn’t remember that at all.

_ “I mean, I know your were falling asleep at the time, so I’m just wondering if you were trying to tell me something with that,”  _ Ryan quickly elaborated,  _ “Uh… This is like explaining things to Geoff when he’s hungover, sorry I even mentioned it.” _

“It’s fine…,” Ray bit at his lip, “I don’t remember that at all…”

_ “Yeah, I didn’t think so,”  _ Ryan voice grew quieter,  _ “I thought you should know though.” _

“No, yeah, thanks. Fuck, I really do need to cut my radio off at night,” Ray gave a few awkward laughs, “But, I mean it’s true. You do have a nice voice. I don’t know where I was going with that talk but if we’re being honest.”

_ “Really? You actually do like my voice? From what I remembered just a little over a week ago all you wanted me to do was shut up.” _

Ray shrugged, “Come on, let that go already. I already admitted that I was wrong like a thousand times already.” He faked his whining voice but couldn’t get over the nervous feelings settling thickly in his stomach as he kept wondering why he’d said something so stupid, “But I mean, yeah, you’ve got a nice voice.”

Ray started making his way up the path once more, it helped to keep his mind from dwelling on one thought for too long, “You’ve got a deep voice, but it’s calm… and I don’t know… wise?”

_ “Well don’t hurt yourself trying to compliment me, no need to try so hard.” _

Ray rolled his eyes, “I’m trying to be nice and make this less awkward… Hey, this better not be a fucking joke to get me to compliment you, that’s just sad.”

_ “It’s not!”  _ Ryan defended,  _ “And you didn’t have to keep going with it.” _

“Well, do you not want to be complemented?” Ray asked, pointedly.

_ “No, I like compliments, you just sound insane trying to keep them up.”  _ Ryan laughed.

“Doesn’t really matter, if anyone saw me out here talking to myself they’d think I was crazy anyways,” Ray pointed out. He took a second to reel back in the venom that had come out in his voice, reminding himself there was no reason to get upset over embarrassment, “But as long as I’m being honest, I might as well try to think of a reason why I said what I said.”

Ryan fell silent, for that Ray was grateful as he had a moment to think things through, “There’s a lot of reasons why, you know? If it wasn’t for you talking with me everyday, I think I would have lost my fucking mind already. I know I’d be scared shitless, probably would have gotten myself killed too. So yeah, on top of your voice sounding nice, there’s more to it than that and I appreciate it,” Ray cocked his head to the side, that just sounded off, “I appreciate you.”

Ray’s face flooded with heat, he wanted to hit himself for acting like it was some damned confession. Ryan was just so hard to talk to sometimes in the most loose way possible. He knew it was fine to just talk to Ryan, and that worked fine for most things, but when it was personal it was hard. Ryan was an open book, he’d say it outright. If Ray wanted to know something, anything, Ryan would answer him as long as it was about him. Ray wasn’t as open, he tried to be but it wasn’t so easy and it made him feel like he was cheating Ryan.

_ “I appreciate you too Ray.”  _ Ryan spoke softly.

Ray huffed a laugh, “Shut up.”

_ “I’m serious too, Ray. I do,”  _ Ray stopped just as he reached the top of the path, the supply cache was just a few feet ahead of him but he wanted to listen,  _ “There's something about you, Ray. You keep me talking and I have no clue why. I guess, if you like my voice so much, you should thank yourself. Otherwise, I don’t think you would have heard it so much.” _

Ray smiled to himself, “Jesus fucking christ, you’re such a sap.”

_ “Yeah, and you’re awkward,”  _ Ryan shot right back at him. Real insults never stuck though, it was all in good fun, a back and forth to help ease any tension in the conversation,  _ “Have you gotten to the supply drop yet?” _

“Yeah I’ve been here,” Ray laughed, “I just wanted to hear your sappy spiel.” 

_ “God forbid we ever have any kind of heart to heart ever again.”  _ Ryan grumbled.

Ray just laughed as he finally opened up the supply cache. Inside his station’s section was a sealed cardboard box, “Oh good, another box for my box collection of boxes.”

_ “What are you going on about now?” _ Ryan questioned.

“Just picking up my shit from the supply cache,” Ray told him, picking up the box and locking the cache again. He shifted his supplies in his hands so he could get his pack off and fit the package in as best as he could, “I always wanted another box to fill my tower with. The other five just aren’t enough, I need more of that box in my life.”

_ “Sounds like you need to clean up your tower.”  _ Ryan blatantly hinted.

“Nah,” Ray slung his pack back on, shifting his shoulders uncomfortable, the box was heavier than it looked and awkward, “Besides, I need them now for Gunther.”

_ “I thought one box would be enough for a turtle.” _

“Let me explain to you how turtle real estate works Ryan,” Ray put on his serious face and held his hands out as if he were laying it out to Ryan face to face, “Turtles already have a home on their backs, right, they’re never homeless, so one box to live in isn’t going to impress anyone. It’s all about overcompensation, who’s got the most and the biggest boxes. There’s the main box, it’s nothing special but he feels the most comfortable in it, then there’s the vacation box that’s just far enough away for him to forget his problems, then you got the really big box that he doesn’t really need but it just tells all the other turtles that he means business, and then-”

_ “Yeah. Okay. Stop. Stop! I get it, turtle houses.”  _ Ryan sighed, chuckling as he let air,  _ “I swear, sometimes I wonder if you’re okay or if you actually went insane within the first week.” _

“Always possible.” Ray joked as he made his way back down the path.

_ “Maybe it’s just your age, I mean Gavin can go on and on about some fact he can’t even form the sentences to talk about and Michael goes on and on about old stories or some unfair bullshit, but you, you can go on about things that just don’t make sense and be so fucking serious about it. It’s amazing, truly amazing.”  _ Ryan chuckled to himself.

“What can I say, I’m a man of many talents,” Ray falsely boasted, “Many stupid fucking talents.”

_ “Well, let’s hope one of your talents is not getting yourself hurt on the way back. Don’t take that shortcut across the ravine, it would really suck if you died.”  _

“I wasn’t going to,” Ray protested, “This things weighing me down too much to try that. I know I’d fuck that jump up. What’s in this thing anyways?”

_ “Usual supplies. Mostly stuff that can’t go bad. Some canned vegetables, dried fruit, beef jerky, some sandwich stuff, that’s about it.” _

“How about soup?” Ray asked, suddenly feeling a strange craving for something with broth.

_ “Uh… no, no soup. Not as far as I know.”  _ Ryan answered, a little confused.

“Damn, I really wanted soup. I miss soup.” Ray sighed.

_ “There’s a lot of food I miss when I’m out here.”  _ Ryan agreed,  _ “I would kill a hiker for a box of doughnuts.” _

“Whoa, easy there Ryan. Are the doughnuts really worth it?”

_ “...Yes…”  _ Ryan joked, letting the pause really linger.

Ray laughed, “I miss fast food, I really want a burger. A burger and soup, I have no idea why.”

_ “When you’re craving something, it doesn’t matter if it goes together or not.”  _ Ryan provided the justification for him.

“You know what I really miss though?” Ray proposed, “It’s not something I like overly used either, but I just sort of had it to pass the time or just have it around.”

_ “What?” _

“Music. I really miss music. It’s so quiet out here.”

_ “Oh, we have music.”  _ Ryan exclaimed as if it were so obvious.

Ray’s eyebrows knitted, as far as he knew, there was no music capable radio in his tower or instruments, “...We do?”

Ray waited for an answer but in response he got a sharp intake of breath and the sound of wailing. Ray’s hurt stopped in fear, thinking Ryan had started screaming but he very quickly realized that those were in fact words Ryan was belting out and that he was, unfortunately, singing,  _ “Oooo child~ Things are going to easier-” _

Ryan’s voice was so off key and cracked that Ray found himself involuntarily moving his head away from the radio in his pack’s pocket, “No! No, no, no!”

_ “I thought you liked my voice?”  _ Ryan joked before he continued with the awful rendition of the song, louder this time.

Ray put his hands over his ears, “OH MY GOD LET IT GO!”

_ “LET IT GO~~ LET IT GO~~” _

“RYAN PLEASE!”

* * *

 

_ “DA NANA NANA NANA!” _

“AND I MISS YOU!”

_ “DA NANA NANA NANA!” _

“AND I NEED YOU!”

_ “DA NANA NANA NANA!” _

“.... And… I don’t remember the rest of the lyrics…,” Ray brought the group song to a halt as he tried to recall the next line, “... If I could fall… something…”

_ “What the hell just happened?”  _ Jack chimed in, confused at Michael, Gavin, and Ray’s  sudden outburst in singing while Ryan could be heard laughing a short distance away from his radio. Geoff started chuckling, the kind that sounded like he was somewhat wondering what decisions in his life had led him to that moment.

It was certainly an interesting night, on a whim, the veteran watchers had opened a call with each other and decided to include Ray. Occasionally they’d just started singing with each other with the worst voices ever and Ray couldn’t help but join in on a few.

“Who the fuck sings that song again?” 

_ “Doesn’t fucking matter,”  _ Michael assured him in a drunken slur,  _ “ _ WE  _ fucking sung it.” _

Michael and Geoff had started drinking fairly heavily as the night went on. It was almost like a contest between them, like you’d see two people at different parts of the bar doing except the metaphorical bar in this case was a couple miles apart. Still, there was an understanding of what was going on and everyone was just fine with it. Jack occasionally warned Geoff not to drink the really strong stuff since he was already pretty far in. Gavin did the same for Michael now as it was getting later, Ray had found it funny to see Gavin switch his argument considering he was the one who edged Michael into out drinking Geoff in the first place. It was just Ray and Ryan who stayed out of the whole mess. Ray felt he really didn’t have much of any say in what the others did with their drinks, and he noticed little hints in Ryan’s comments that he just didn’t really care, likely being used to this happening regularly.

All in all though, it was nice to talk as a group. For the first time, it was almost like they were all together. If he closed his eyes, Ray imagined what it would be like if they were all right there, if they were all in his tower with him. Michael and Geoff sitting by the counter, drinks in hand. Gavin probably sitting on his busted desk and Jack the sensible one sitting in the chair. In his mind, they were all just a jumble of shifting images of faces, except for Michael, who he could imagine clearly. Ray had tried to picture Ryan there, sitting next to himself on the bed but he couldn’t. Even though he had his little hand drawn picture of Ryan, it just wasn’t fitting, it was off. Every time he tried to imagine him, the features kept shifting, he just couldn’t settle on one appearance. 

Ray sat looking between his drawing and Ryan’s tower off in the distance. He really wished he could actually see Ryan, with the spyglass Ryan was just a shadow moving between the windows though, and even if it weren’t night, Ray’s eyes never got a clear enough visual. Through the radio, Ray had been hearing the sounds of Ryan cleaning a short distance away from his radio, he’d been the last to eat anything and had been munching on something for a long portion of the group call.

_ “This is top,”  _ Gavin sighed,  _ “Ray makes things more interesting.” _

“Interesting?” Ray scoffed, “I fucked up the lyrics.”

_ “Yeah, but you go a spurt of energy to you Ray, _ ” Gavin explained,  _ “You fit right in with me and Michael.” _

_ “Only because he’s an immature prick like you two.”  _ Geoff commented, Gavin took this as a good thing though.

_ “Yeah, that’s right! We’re Team Lads! Suck it, Gents!”  _ Gavin shouted enthusiastically.

_ “Jesus Gavin, shut the fuck up, you’re going to make me deaf!”  _ Michael complained.

_ “Are we Team Gents? Me, Geoff, and Ryan?”  _ Jack asked on the side.

_ “‘Course, you’re the older ones, so you’re the Gents. We’re young, so we’re the Lads.”  _ Gavin rattled off his made up rules as if it were all so simple.

_ “He makes team names for everyone.”  _ Ryan chimed in, Ray could tell it was directed towards him as an explanation for what was going on. He gladly took it, not knowing what had really been going on.

“What are the team names?” Ray asked curiously, earning a  _ “Urgh, God…”  _ from Ryan just before Gavin excitedly took hold of the conversation again.

Gavin started rattling off names and who made up each team so fast Ray couldn’t keep up with them all. There were a few he managed to pick out, ‘Team Nice Dynamite’ was made up of Gavin and Michael, ‘Team Same Voice’ was Ryan and Jack for obvious reasons, and ‘Team Magnum Dong’ stuck out in Ray’s mind as it made him laugh, he couldn’t imagine why that was a team name for Geoff and Ryan.

_ “Alright, alright, shut the fuck up.”  _ Geoff stopped Gavin eventually, having lost his patience,  _ “Team names don’t matter.” _

_ “You like them,”  _ Ryan pointed out to Geoff,  _ “You wouldn’t also use them all the time if you didn’t.” _

_ “Alright,”  _ Geoff snapped back, clearly annoyed,  _ “Talk about team names when I’m not drunk and tired.” _

_ “I think we should come up with one for Ryan and Ray, seeing as how close they are.”  _ Gavin suggested, there was a hinting in his voice that Ray wasn’t quite sure of. All that came from Ryan’s end was him clearing his throat. Despite this, Ray found himself interested in a team name.

“Sure, let’s do it.” He gave the go ahead, ready to hear what kind of stupid name he and Ryan would get. Oddly enough, the others went quiet for an awkward minute. Ray waited, one eyebrow going up in confusion. Eventually, he broke the silence, “What? What’d I say?”

_ “...Nothing,”  _ Finally came an answer from Gavin,  _ “Just that uh… Team names takes some time to come up with. I’m going to have to think on it.” _

The other’s made little noises of agreement, the coordination actually freaked Ray out some, “...Okay…”

Another awkward silence followed, this one sinking in for Ray. He wasn’t sure why everyone had gotten so quiet but it didn’t feel right.

Geoff was the one to break the silence this time,  _ “Okay, it’s time for me to hit the sack. I’m too fucking tired for this.” _

Jack quickly agreed with Geoff,  _ “Yeah, go sleep off all that booze. We probably all should go to sleep, at least a few of us need to be awake tomorrow.” _

_ “Not me.”  _ Michael called dibs.

_ “Because you drank so much you bloody idiot.”  _ Gavin chastised him.

_ “Well, the rest of us can handle it,” _ Ryan reasoned, _ “Let those two deal with their hangovers.” _

_ “Alright, I’m getting off then. Goodnight.” _ Jack gave his quick goodbye with a tired sigh before a small click signalled his exit. 

Geoff followed soon after with a quiet, _ “G’night.” _

Michel didn’t even say anything, his radio just went quiet. Ray had no idea he’d even gone till Gavin had the sudden realization,  _ “Oh, he’s popped off…, about time, he’s going to have the worst headache tomorrow.” _

_ “You can handle that tomorrow, right?”  _ Ryan asked.

_ “Course, he’s just going to be shouty, nothing different.” _

_ “Alright,”  _ Ryan cleared his throat,  _ “And then there were three.” _

_ “Actually, I think I’ll pop off as well. I’ve got to get up early.”  _ Gavin said with a reluctant tone.

“Why?” Ray asked, curious what could possibly be demanding of Gavin’s time.

_ “Got some projects I’m working on. That and… Michael’s not the happiest person hungover.” _

Ray nodded, he could see that. Michael lost his cool very easily, the thought of him being hungover was slightly terrifying, “He’s not like, violent or anything right?”

_ “Who? Michael? Nah, he’s never violent. Angry and shouty, but he’s never taken a swing at me or anything. Well, he’s tackled me to the ground a few times, but it’s all for fun.”  _ Gavin laughed at the idea.

_ “He’s all bark and no bite.”  _ Ryan confirmed.

_ “Right,”  _ Gavin let out a sigh,  _ “He’ll be doing a lot of barking in the morning. I might as well be having a hangover. I’ll leave you two to chat, goodnight.” _

_ “Goodnight.” _

“Night.” Ray and Ryan both bid him well as they heard Gavin’s side leave the call. 

Ray settled back into his bed with a smile. The more he talked to the group the more he got to know them and how they each had little quirks that made them so different as well as how each of them dealt with each other. His talks with Michael and Gavin told him a lot about how close the two were. They teased each other, and there were little mid conversation spats but nothing that was actually holding any venom and when Michael was really fuming, Gavin didn’t seem to mind it at all. In fact, Gavin usually was the one to defuse the angry redhead after making him mad in the first place.

Geoff and Jack seemed to have a similar relationship, though Ray knew them even less than he did Michael and Gavin. Geoff was easily annoyed but he was also older and prefered to just let the problem die where it stood. Jack was the one who stopped him from doing something stupid, always advising him and seeing ten steps ahead.

After learning about the others more, Ray started to notice how different Ryan was from the other four. He was the odd one out, not really interacting with the others the same way. They talked, Ryan would chime in with his two cents and the others would either take it or leave it. There was no one in the group that bounced back to him except for Ray. In the group conversation, Ray often felt like the friend that was just dragged along to someone else's party where he didn’t know anyone; he knew a few people and the others he wasn’t sure of but the one but he stuck like glue to the person who brought him along. Whenever Ryan spoke, Ray focused in on his voice despite the other conversations going on. He just knew it more, there was more of an attachment.

Ray looked out his window towards Thorofare tower, Ryan’s lights on as always, “Aren’t you going to sleep Ryan?”

_ “Not yet, the curse of the insomniac.”  _ Ryan joked, though it sounded as if he wished he could go to sleep,  _ “You can go to sleep if you want Ray, don’t let me keep you up.” _

Ray huffed a laugh, “Nah, I’m good staying up with you for awhile.”

_ “Going to try and out wake me?”  _ Ryan proposed.

“We both know that’s not going to happen,” Ray already admitted to his defeat, there was just no way he would ever be able to stay awake longer than him, “But I’ll make the weakest effort.”

Ryan chuckled,  _ “Well, I appreciate it anyways. I’m going to warn you though, I don’t really have anything more to talk about.” _

Ray raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, what’s up with that. You haven’t been talking all that much today.”

_ “I haven’t?”  _ Ryan asked, confused.

“Not since this morning, you were talking normal while I was getting my stuff but when the group got talking you went pretty quiet.”

_ “Meh, the others are good at dominating the conversations. I just kinda listen for the most part.” _

“Just seemed off for you,” Ray mumbled, but shook it off, “Maybe you just blew all you had to say on me for the past week and a half.”

Ryan gave a small laugh,  _ “Yeah, that must be it, Sunshine.” _

With that they had silence for awhile. There wasn’t much to talk about anymore but it wasn’t an awkward silence. It was a  calm silence. The kind that Ray had started to get used to whenever Ryan would stop to do some work, or gt up to grb something. It was homely, tranquil. The kind where you could tell that someone’s still there but there’s no need to say anything at all. These silences didn’t bother Ray, if anything they made him feel safer. When his radio was off and it was just him, the silence that filled his tower was unnerving. Noone was there and it was disturbing to focus on how alone he was in his small temporary housing. But just the faint sounds of breathing, of the movement of paper, the clearing of a throat, just the sounds of someone living on the other end of a speaker was relaxing.

Ray started getting comfortable in his bed, he curled himself up around his sheets, happy that tonight wasn’t as hot as the day had been. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to stay up, having severely overestimated how long he could keep going. Between the long hike and the group talk he hadn’t had a break yet that day to actually realize how tired he was. Just as he was beginning to hit that stage where his eyes started to flutter and try to close on him he heard Ryan’s voice from a distance through the radio, his voice was low and soft, different than Ray had ever head.

_ “I’ve got sunshine… On a cloudy day… When it’s cold outside… I got the month of May.” _

Ray smiled when he caught on to what was happening. Ryan was singing, just barely. If he raised the tone any higher it would tumble into the downward spiral of mismatched tones Ray had been painfully subjected to earlier that day. Right now his voice sounded nice, when it was smooth and low. The nickname he was so fond of seemed to have taken over his music choice now. It was fine to Ray, the name was starting to grow on him. Something about it just started feeling good to him.

_ “I’d guess you’d say… What can make me feel this way…”  _ Ryan trailed off, letting the words die away as the sounds of him moving things around could be heard in the background, he continued humming the rest.

_ “ _ Why couldn’t you sing like this earlier?” Ray finally interjected, adjusting himself in his bed. Listening to Ryan sing had just started to make him feel comfortable.

Ryan stopped immediately, there was a stretch of silence before he caught up to the situation and let out a tired laugh,  _ “Woops, I thought you went to sleep, you sounded like you passed out. Or did you forget to turn your radio off again?” _

Ray let the smile on his lips grow wide, “And miss this concert? Nah.”

Ryan chuckled, his tone shifted to a really sweet voice that hinted to Ray just how much that wasn’t going to happen,  _ “You sound really tired, don’t force yourself to stay up.” _

Ray snicked, “I am, I was about to fall asleep but the sultry sound of your voice brought me back to the land of the living.”

Ryan responded with a much heavier implication to his voice,  _ “Goodnight Sunshine.” _

Ray huffed a laugh, “Goodnight Rye-bread.”

There was a sigh from Ryan’s side and Ray imagined him shaking his head at the dumb nickname.

“Hey, Rye?”

_ “... Yeah-huh?”  _

“You really do have a nice voice.”

* * *

 

Day 12

* * *

 

 

It was the first time since he’d arrived that Ray had actually picked up his DS and played it. For some reason, being out there just took away his normal want to play video games. After realizing how strange it was, Ray figured it was the motivation that was missing. In the city, all he wanted to do was escape, video games being a quick solution, and now, well, mission accomplished. He was far away from the city now, though now he found himself occasionally missing civilization. The small tower fueled a different need to escape and so he’d gotten his DS as soon as he’d woken up and started playing the day away.

It wasn’t till hours later that his eyes burned and hit forehead started to throb. Eventually, it was too hard to concentrate on his game and he had to shut it off, putting it aside to close his eyes and rub at them. Ray leaned back in his chair, suddenly so exhausted, his head aching. Ray looked up and squinted out of one of the windows, his eyes struggled to adjust to the bright light outside of his tower. 

Ray let out a groan as he flopped his arms and head down on his desk. It felt good to close his eyes and try to clear his head. When the sound of static came from his radio, interrupting his comfortable moment he let out a long sigh, unamused.

_ “Hey, Ray, you in your tower?” _

It was Ryan, Ray’s eyes fluttered back open slowly. That wasn’t so bad, he could deal with Ryan right now. Ray reach over to open the line on his radio only to realize he’d left it on again. This was starting to become a very bad habit for him. Retracting his arm he let out a yawn.

“Yeah, Ryan.” He answered, sounding exhausted.

_ “Whoa, what’s up with you? You don’t sound good.”  _ Ryan pointed out.

Ray nodded back for no particular reason, "My head really hurts..."

_ “Oh, are you prone to migraines?”  _

“What? No…” Ray dismissed the idea.

_ “Well, what happened then? You didn’t fall off of something did you?”  _ Ray shook his head at Ryan ridiculous worries.

“No,” He protested again, “I just played my DS all day.”

_ “Oh,”  _ Ryan sounded disappointed,  _ “You must have played it for a long time.” _

“Kinda, but I’ve played for longer than that before and my head never hurt.” Ray defended.

_ “It’s from being out here,” _ Ryan explained,  _ “You’re used to there constantly being electronics everywhere, TV, computers, video games, cell phones, radios, hell street signs. There’s always something to keep your staring in the city, out here’s there’s nothing. You just got used to not having your eyes glued to a screen.” _

Ray sighed, “So what was it you needed?”

_ “Oh, nothing, I was just bored and wanted to talk. I’ll call back another time.” _

“No wait.” Ray stopped Ryan before he could turn the radio off, “It’s okay, stay, let’s talk.”

_ “I’m not really sure what to talk about anymore.”  _ Ryan admitted.

“You can tell me how dumb I am for playing video games so long on the job.” Ray offered.

_ “I would except I’m honestly jealous I can't do the same. If I could bring my laptop out here the whole forest would burn down, I’d probably never notice.” _

“I think you have enough fun playing games with me.”

_ “Games?”  _ Ryan drew back, amused and curious,  _ “When have I played games with you?” _

“Just little games, mind games.” Ray smiled.

_ “Mind games? No, you’d know if I was playing mind games with you.”  _ Ryan defended his point and honestly, Ray believed him. Ryan had a quiet intelligence to him that came out in the weirdest of ways.

“What do you call all those little… sayings then?” Ray couldn’t think of the right word for them.

_ “What ‘sayings’?”  _ Ryan laughed.

“The… I don’t even know,” Ray gestured with a flop of his hand, “Like the Sunshine thing. Mind games, I say.”

_ “That’s just a little nickname. What, you think I’m making fun of you or something. Does it really bother you all that much?”  _ Ryan’s voice dropped lower, sounding hurt like he’d done something wrong.

“No,” Ray assured him, “No, I actually think I like it now. But, what I’m saying is the stuff like that, the way you sometimes talk to me.”

Ray knew what he wanted to call them, flirting, the little things Ryan said that sounded like flirting. The suggestive ways he’d speak sometimes just sounded pretty serious to Ray but there was no way he was about to tell Ryan what he thought they sounded like.

_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sunshine.”  _ Ryan laughed, putting a little emphasis on the nickname. Ray wanted to point it out right then and there but he suddenly felt shy about it.

“I don’t either.”

Ray let out a sigh and rubbed at his eyes again. Ryan just chuckled in the background at the abrupt drop of the conversation. While Ryan sounded so happy Ray started to feel sick. His heart tightened up in his chest and his stomach felt sick. He let out a shaky breath to try and get rid of the feeling.

_ “Hey, hey,”  _ Ryan’s voice came in, soothing and pleasant but Ray’s chest just felt worse,  _ “You sure you’re okay?” _

“I… Yeah,” Ray shuddered out. He sat up straight and moved the radio away from himself when he noticed how much faster his breathing was getting. The little indecisive noises from Ryan’s end started making Ray’s heart beat a little faster too, it felt uncomfortable, even hurt a little bit but as he kept breathing, he started to like it, “I just feel a little sick.”

_ “Have you eaten something today?”  _

Ray shook his head uselessly, “I don’t feel like eating.”

His heart thudded at the sound of worry in Ryan’s voice and Ray himself, began to inwardly panic a little. He was beginning to shake, something clearly wasn’t right with him, “You know what, I think I’ll just call you back later after all,” Ray tried to clear his throat, “I um, I’m starting to really feel nauseous.”

_ “Alright, you should probably take a nap , I can give you a call later to wake you up if you’d like.”  _ Ryan offered.

“That sounds good actually,” Ray agreed, happy for the escape, chance, “I think I’ll do that.”

_ “Good, I’ll talk to you later. Hope you feel better.”  _ Ryan wished him well and all Ray could do was let out a small noise in agreement.

As the radio went silent Ray got up from his chair and started pacing back and forth around his tower. His arms shook and he rubbed at them, all the while his heart felt like someone was squeezing it. Out of panic that Ryan might still be on the line he reached over to his radio and turned it off completely before he let out a shaky, “Fuuuck!”

                                                                            

Ray threw himself on his bed and stared at the old walls, trying to get a grip on himself. He was confused why his body was suddenly acting like it was having a breakdown. All he did was talk to Ryan. He pulled the covers over himself and let himself calm back down again. None of it made sense but he just hoped that this wasn’t him getting sick. He wasn’t even sure how someone would even get medicine out there.

* * *

 

Ray had calmed down a lot more from earlier by the time Ryan called him back to wake him up. His efforts were wasted though, Ray hadn’t really slept at all. He was too busy trying to figure out if he was sick or not. Even when Ryan called back, there was just the slightest bit of panic but he was able to choke it back down. He brushed it off as just a slip of the moment, there wasn’t any reason to make a big deal out of it at all but it still persisted as he talked with Ryan, and he was becoming increasingly worried about his health.

_ “Are you feeling better? You’re pretty quiet tonight.”  _ Ryan pointed out.

“I don’t know,” Ray answered him honestly, figuring a second opinion might actually do him some good, “My headache stopped but my chest hurts now.”

_ “Okay, that’s even worse than before.”  _

Ray sighed, “I don’t know. It hurts but it kind of doesn’t at the same time.”

_ “You lost me.” _

“I don’t get it either,” Ray answered, “It’s like I’m scared or something, but I’m not. It’s weird and my heart keeps beating fast randomly. What do you think that is?”

Ryan went quiet for a minute, thinking of a response,  _ “...I have no idea. That is weird. And it hurts? You’re not having a heart attack or something are you?” _

“I don’t think so,” Ray shrugged, “It’s not like it just hurts though, it’s like… okay so scared isn’t the right word, it’s more like a thrill. Like...  uh… like being on a rollercoaster.”

_ “... Sounds like anxiety… Or, well, okay I don’t want to just say anxiety like it’s a bad thing there’s good anxieties too, but what I meant was it sounds like you’re anxious or excited. You’re talking about that rush feeling you get when you just go hurling down the tracks right?”  _ Ryan tried to piece his problem together and Ray was grateful, he did a far better job at reasoning then he did.

“Yeah.”

_ “Yeah, then, if it’s like that then you just got like really emotional. Everyone gets like that.”  _ Ryan concluded.

Ray raised an eyebrow still confused, “But I’ve never had that feeling just happen without anything before.”

_ “Well something must have triggered it. Maybe it was you game earlier. Kind of weird it lasted this long though.”  _

“No, I wasn’t playing the game when it happened,” Ray sat up, scratching his head as he let out an annoyed grunt, “This make no fucking sense. I was just talking with you earlier and bitching about my headache. What the hell.” 

_ “I don’t know,”  _ Ryan admitted,  _ “Maybe you need to get some time outside tomorrow. Clear your head.” _

Ray nodded, that was probably it. He hadn’t been out much lately and being in his tower did make him a little stir crazy, “You’re probably right.”

_ “How about this, make yourself something to eat and sit outside for a while on the deck. I’ll come out too, we can watch the sunset, it might calm you down.” _

Ray huffed, “Gaaaaay.”

_ “Shut up,”  _ Ryan laughed,  _ “Would you rather I just leave you alone to deal with this yourself?” _

“No…” Ray mumbled.

_ “Get some food and come outside. It’ll do you a world of good.” _

Ray did as he was told, going over to his kitchen and grabbing some stuff to make a sandwich before he headed outside. The afternoon was much cooler than it had been for awhile and he took a minute to himself to just feel the air around him. He settled on the side of his tower facing Ryan’s and started making his dinner.

“It’s nice out.”

_ “Yeah, it’s going to be nice and cool tonight.” _

Ray looked over toward the west, the sky was turning a vibrant shade of orange as the sun set behind mountains. He bit into his sandwich and sighed, the pain in his chest dying down to a muffled thrum. Ryan was right, he did feel much better.

“I think you’d make a good dad.” Ray said quietly.

_ “...Okay,”  _ Ryan chuckled at the random compliment,  _ “Where’s this coming from?” _

Ray shrugged, “I don’t know, just sometimes you have like this dad wisdom. Like right now.”

_ “I wouldn’t really say it’s dad wisdom. But I guess it’s just that I end up taking care of Michael and Gavin a lot of the time. You guys are still pretty young, I’ve been there before, it sucks. And you guys are all out on your own, I mean Michael was kicked away from his family, Gavin’s on a whole different continent. You’ve got your own set of issues, and I know you came out here as a way to sort of deal with them, I know that because I did the same thing. I just figure I can help sometimes.”  _ Ryan reasoned.

Ray chest tightened again but he didn’t mind it so much this time, “Thanks Rye, I do feel better.”

_ “No problem.” _

* * *

 

Day 17

* * *

 

It was dark, the sounds of the night were the only indication to Ray of the time with the chirping of the crickets and the rustling of the trees. He felt the softness of his sheets and was comforted by the peacefulness of it all despite his inability to see or move. He could only lie there on his side, as a voice in the far back of his mind began to wonder why he was there.

The feelling of a hand resting itself on his arm made him jump, his back to whoever the hand belonged to. He was suddenly alerted to the presence of someone so close to them, fear beginning to rise as he remembered he was supposed to be alone. 

“Shhh, shhh…” A familiar voice hushed him and instantly Ray relaxed, knowing that voice too well. Ryan, always there to calm him down, “It’s just me.”

Ray wondered why Ryan was there with him but his brain pushed the thought away quickly in favor of just being happy that Ryan was by his side. The hand on his arm became a comforting gesture, one that felt so good. It was so nice to feel the sensation of being touched by another person.

He lay there as Ryan leaned in, somehow so close without even shifting Ray’s bed. Ray could feel his breath on his neck and it made him shudder, “It’s alright, Sunshine. I’m right here.”

Ryan’s voice was so low, so soothing, so sensual. Ray felt his face heat up, his heart beat faster and his chest tightened up as it had been the past few days. He started to shake just before Ryan’s hand began moving up and down his arm, easing him back down. Ray breathed heavily, still unable to speak, to see, to move. All he could do was listen, breath and shake.

Ryan hand started to move even lower and suddenly Ray’s body jolted, his legs brought themselves up and his back hunched involuntarily. His movements weren’t his own, he was starting to wonder what was happening too. Ryan’s hand continued, snaking around Ray’s hip and down between his legs, fingers firmly on his thigh. Ray’s lips began to shake, nervous, his voice finally made itself heard with a tiny, scared moan. His chest felt like it was being crushed and his lungs were struggling to keep him calm. The hand between his legs made small circles along his flesh and he let out a small whine.

“It’s alright,” Ryan’s voice reassured as his hand sent a shiver up Ray’s spine from traveling back up. Ray felt the fingers trace up his stomach, making his body shudder again, “You’re just fine.”

The hand on his stomach lightly pulled at him, turning him out onto his back. He lay there, feeling the the large hand cover him, not knowing what to expect now. He wanted to cover himself, wanted to bring his arms up but he didn’t, another part of him really wanted to know what would happen next. It was like he was two different people entirely in the same moment. One part of him was scared and knew this wasn’t quite right, that this wasn’t the way Ryan talked to him, that there was no way any of this could be happening. Then another part of him didn’t care about any of that, he liked the feeling of everything around him, and that tone that Ryan’s voice had, and that the feeling in his chest made sense for once.

Then he felt it, lips along his skin, right on his neck. He let out a gasp, shocked by the sudden feeling. The rush made him bolt upright and the next thing he knew he was sitting upright in his bed, eyes open, and panting hard. He could move if he wanted, he could speak if he wanted, he could see, though it was dark, his tower. There was no Ryan, no voice, no touch, but there was there lingering feeling of being aroused. A chill ran up his spine as the sweat on him went could and  he tried to still his breathing despite the heat at his groin. 

He tried to make sense of what had just happened, realizing it was just a dream but trying to understand why he was dreaming about Ryan like that. Ray swallowed hard, he knew why he’d started having that strange feeling now and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. It explained why he’d get it whenever he was talking with Ryan, certainly, but that didn't mean it helped him anything. Ray let out a shuddered sigh, running his hands through his hair before he sucked back in a deep breath and calmed himself.

“It doesn’t matter.” He concluded, sleepily to himself, “You don’t really even know him. You’ve never actually seen him. You’ve never been with a man before and he’s not…”

Ray stopped himself, a small voice in his mind whispering a counter argument in his head of ‘You don’t know if he’s not into men’ which Ray tried to ignore.

“He’s older than you.” Ray kept adding more to the list of reason why it was never going to get any further than this one night overdramatic dreaming.

‘But age hasn’t really mattered since you were twenty-one,’ Again the voice added, throwing Ray’s point off. He didn’t want to listen to the intrusive thoughts, not when they so easily took control of which side he was taking.

“He lives with four other men.”

‘Men that you actually like.’

Ray took another deep breath, now that he thought of it, he hadn’t actually realized that he like Ryan so much. 

“Am I…?”

‘You like Ryan, you like the way he talks. You like the way he takes care of you.’

‘But that doesn’t mean I love him.’

‘No, it means you’re attracted to him.’

‘...Does that… change anything? Does that mean I’m bisexual?’

Ray came to a dead end with his thought chain. He let himself fall back onto his bed, “What do I do about this? I can’t tell him, I can’t say anything about this, I don’t even fucking know…”

‘Don’t say anything,’ He concluded in his own head, ‘It’s not love it’s lust, there’s no reason to act on anything.’

Ray sighed, the next conversation he had with Ryan was going to feel awkward as hell. It was fine though, there was no reason he had to tell Ryan about it or anyone else. He was just making a big deal about it in his head, it was just a wet dream. It wasn’t the first he’d had and it wouldn’t be the last. 

For some reason, Ray felt compelled to look over at Ryan’s tower. The lights were out, making it impossible for Ray to actually see the tower but he knew it was there. His chest swelled with that feeling again and his breath became uneasy as he shook his head, “Goddammit… it’s not just me being horny is it?”

He had no answer for himself this time as he lay there, mind constantly wandering back to how he felt in the dream. The feeling of a presence by him, a large hand on his body, the lips on his next, that was all lust. But the feelings he got, the indecision, the curiosity, the thrill he got from it, the way he was so willing to accept it being Ryan told him it wasn’t so simple at the same time.

Ray closed his eyes, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to sleep now after all that but he’d give it a try. He’d have to really think on this at another time when he wasn’t trying to distract himself from the uncomfortable feeling between his thighs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get a little tense for a bit now.
> 
> I know the drawing suck right now but after 4 art finals I'm a little tired of drawing anything right now.


	5. Talk to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to talk some things out.

* * *

 Day 18

* * *

 

 

                                                                  

Ray sat in his chair, staring out of the window and almost willing a fire would start at this point. He needed something, anything right now to distract him from himself but every time his eyes burned from the lack of sleep he’d gotten the night before he was thrown back to the dream that had caused the distress in the first place. Ray could feel the swell of bags under his eyes, after that wet dream he just couldn’t go back to sleep. He wasn’t sure if anyone could after something as sudden as that.

Eventually, he just stopped trying to go to sleep. Ray got up, made himself some coffee which he fumbled with, having hardly ever done it before, sat down at his desk, and didn’t move. He watched at the night sky changed to the bright grey with orange tint of early morning and hoped to every god that existed that something would happen that day so he wouldn’t have to talk with Ryan with the thought of how much his voice would turn him on right then.

His desperation seemed to get worse by the hour and more than once he’d actually gotten on the train of thought to just rub one out but realized how bad of an idea that would be to associate Ryan with any kind of physical pleasure. Instead he brought his legs up in his chair, bit down on his hand, and willed all the thoughts away until he calmed down. The worst part was that he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this up. He talked to Ryan every single day and there was no reason why Ryan wouldn’t call him up again today. What he was going to do when that happened was beyond him, he just hoped he would lose all control of himself.

A part of him knew he was overthinking all of this That there was no reason he’d act like that much of a fool but another part of him was very convinced that he was pathetic and wouldn’t last a minute. Ray let his head fall on his knees, he didn’t like this, he didn’t like feeling so guilty. He hadn’t even done anything to hurt Ryan or offend him in person but the the dream and the thoughts he had towards Ryan right now just felt like he’d done something humiliating to insult him. He let out a loud, whining groan in frustration. How was he supposed to deal with this for an entire summer?

When the radio clicked, Ray’s heart dropped. He wasn’t ready, he couldn’t think.

_“Hey, Sunshine, wake up call.”_

Ray wanted to throw up, that nickname stung him so hard now. Only a few days ago he’d said he liked it and now just hearing it was bound to kill him on the spot.

_“Ray? Raaaay~ Come on, you can’t sleep all day.”_

He hated this, he hated how much of a coward he was in this moment. It was Ryan, his friend. He should be this afraid to talk to him, but he was. He was afraid and excited at the same time. He loved hearing that voice now, and felt sick for wanting to hear more of it with the implications it brought.

 _“Let’s go Ray, time to get up, greet the day, breath in that fresh air, get annoyed by your friendly neighborhood Ryan,”_ Normally Ray would laugh or groan at Ryan’s silly good morning jokes but he couldn’t. He was too afraid to open the line on his radio right now, _“Come on Ray, don’t ignore me, I know you’re not that heavy of a sleeper.”_

Ray took a shuddered breath, Ryan had gotten to know him so well there was no way he could keep this up for much longer.

 _“...Ray? You okay?”_ That was it, the sadness and worry in Ryan’s voice spoke volumes to Ray about how much Ryan meant to him in that moment. It was just like in the dream, trying to assure him everything’s okay, but in this moment everything was not okay and Ryan could sense it. He was scared too now.

 _“Ray, I need you to answer me,”_ Ryan’s tone was serious now, _“Ray if you don’t talk to me I can’t tell if you’re okay, please answer.”_

Ray reached over with a shaky hand and grabbed the radio, bringing it close. He took in a deep breath and hit the button to speak, “I’m fine.”

He hadn’t realized how bad his voice would be till the words left his lips. He sounded awful, his voice cracked and scratchy.

There was a sigh of relief from Ryan’s side but it was quickly replaced with another wave of worry, _“You don’t sound fine, are you sick?”_

Ray bit his lip, he couldn’t deal with this right now. Not when everything Ryan said sounded so loving, “I’m fine.”

Ryan didn’t believe that for a second of course, _“...Something bothering you. You’re quiet, you don’t sound like this unless something’s wrong.”_

Ray took his hand off the button for a minute, looking up to the rafters of his tower as if they held an answer for him before he let his head fall back down and tried to recover whatever was left of himself, “I…,” He stopped himself, readying some sort of excuse, “...I’m going to go for a walk.”

_“... No wait, Ray, tell me what’s going on first. A walk might not be the best thing right now.”_

Ray felt a lump in his throat threaten to choke him out right then and there, “...Just… leave me alone right now.”

He knew it was hateful and he knew it was the worst thing he could possibly say in that moment but he couldn’t think of anything else to say at the moment. He just needed to convince Ryan he wanted time alone and fast before he really lost it.

_“... Okay… Alright, just… Just bring your radio, you know, in case anything happens. You can talk to me Ray… If you need anything.”_

Ray wanted to scream, to wail at himself for what he just did. Ryan was so hurt by what he’d just said and it was all because he was being stupid. He got up though, unable to just sit there any longer. He stay put, not when he wanted to throw himself from the railing of his tower for acting like he was. He didn’t bother to grab his pack or his map or anything but his radio and stormed out of his tower, practically throwing himself down the stairs and just started marching off. He didn’t know why, didn’t know what good it would do , didn’t know where he was heading he just went, following the trail towards the west.

He wasn’t sure how far he made it out when he cursed to himself and started running. His mind was a mess without any rational thought. Somehow, running just seemed like the right decision in that moment. Ray lost a little of himself in the moment, focus was put more to propelling himself further and further away from his tower.

He hoped he could run away from the problem in that moment, just wanting to leave it behind, get it all out of the way, and for a split second it worked. The thoughts temporarily subsided as he ran bleary eyed through the wide path, catching himself against trees that got in his way and pushing himself off as fast as he could but the thoughts came back, and he felt worse than ever. His breathing increased, even faster than it had been from running, his heart felt like it would explode, his body shook as he kept trying to push himself farther, and his legs wanted to give out on him. It was the legs that did him in this time.

All of a sudden he came to a quick stop as he trip and fell to the ground, hard. He was lucky enough to land with his head to the side, avoiding what would have been imminent destruction to his glasses. He made no move to get up, the shock kept him still for just a moment longer before it all caught up with him again.

He stayed there on the ground as he began to pant heavily, nearly choking on his own spit, chest stuttering as he suddenly felt like a five year old wanting to cry. He closed his eyes and bit his lip.

‘What am I doing?’ he thought to himself, recounting in his mind all the things he’d just done, ‘You’re acting like you’ve just lost your fucking mind!’

Ray’s hands dug into the dry grass and the dusty earth, his fists pulled out tufts by the roots, shaking before he pounded out the ground once with heavy fists. He pushed himself back up, feeling horrible, and sat back for a second, bringing his legs out in front of him. He was covered in dirt now, but lucky it was so dry it could be brushed off. There a a bruise starting to form on his ankle and looking back, he’d tripped up on an uneven rock jutting from the ground.

He brought himself up, his ankle hurt a little but it was nothing and he started walking again. Ray adamantly refused to run anymore, already disappointed with himself enough. He kept going though, eventually wandering off towards Five Miles Creek where the trees covered him in shade making the ground almost look red. He folded his arms around himself as he walked on. He started to feel more calm, less worried about how he felt and more worried about how Ryan felt.

When he came up towards the overlook near the end of the path he went towards the edge and stared off into the distance for a minute. He eventually sat back down, curled in on himself as he just sat watching how the land looked.

He was tired, it was really sinking in at that moment how desperately he wanted sleep. He leaned over till he landed on his side on the ground and took in deep breaths. His grip on his sides tightened as he lay there, thinking about how badly he was messing everything up right now. Before he knew it, his eyes had closed and he’d fallen to sleep in the heat of his mind rushing a million miles a minute with worry.

* * *

 

                                                                          

Ray woke up suddenly, the sound of movement caught him by surprise. He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep or how long he’d been there but it was still day time, that much was for sure. He propped himself up by his arms, looking round for what made the noise and registering where he was. Ray saw nothing in the tree line, nothing around him that could have made the noise. He settled for it just being the sound of a wild animal, probably a squirrel.

He sat up, a sour taste from the coffee lingering in his mouth and still a little startled but otherwise feeling much better than he had before. He rubbed his eyes as he moved to sit up, cursing as his ankle protested and cursing himself for being such an idiot, running around in the forest like that. Sure, it helped by providing a distraction but it was probably the dumbest thing to do. He made a mental note to himself that just because he’d lived in the forest for a time now did not, under any circumstances, mean that he knew his way around enough to just start running around.

Ray stretched himself out, a little sore from his impromptu nap. He had to admit though, if ever there was a place to nap, he certainly picked the one with the best view. Ray watched the mesa-like landmarks in the distance and just breathed for a minute. He could think a little clearer now just being away from his tower, it was like it made him sick being holed up in that tower for so long.

A light buzz from his radio brought him back down to earth, this time though, he could choke down that lump that tried to make it’s way into his throat. He took deep breath, “You can handle it this time,” Ray told himself, “... And fucking apologize you pathetic sack of shit.”

Hands still a little uneasy, he grabbed his radio from his pocket and opened the line. He wanted to be the first to speak, to say something, but he didn’t know what to say, or rather he did. An ‘I’m sorry’ was definitely the direction he needed to go, but he just couldn’t get it out right.

 _“...Did he pick up..?”_ Came Michael’s voice instead, trying to test the water’s of where or not he was actually getting through, _“Ray?”_

“...I’m here…” Ray finally responds, letting out a shaky breath. Michael he could handle, Michael wasn’t the one he’d had a wet dream about.

 _“THANK FUCKING CHRIST RAY!”_ Came the very sudden, very loud response from Michael. Ray immediately had a change of mind, perhaps he couldn’t handle Michael afterall, _“DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE HOW LONG I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU!?”_

Ray opened his mouth to try and speak but whatever attempt at a response he could have made was immediately swallowed up by more of Michael’s yelling.

_“I FUCKING GET WOKEN UP WAY TOO FUCKING EARLY BY RYAN SAYING THAT YOU JUST TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF AND YOU GO WONDERING INTO THE FOREST WITHOUT ANYONE HAVING ANY IDEA WHERE YOU’RE GOING BECAUSE YOU’RE UPSET OVER WHAT?! WHAT!?!? YOU DON’T UCKING TELL ANYONE ANYTHING AND RYAN’S THINKING HE ROYALLY PISSED YOU OFF SO HE GETS ME ON YOUR FUCKING CASE! I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR HOURS RAY! FUCKING HOURS!!”_

Ray hadn’t noticed how far he was leaning away from the radio till he was thrown off balance and had to catch himself with his elbow. He stared wide eyed at the radio, not expecting this at all, he wasn’t even sure what, out of all that, he actually processed.

“...I-I’m sorry…” He ventured and was greeted with the expected response of more shouting, but at least this time Michael came across more worried than angry.

 _“YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU’RE SORRY! DON’T EVER PULL THAT SHIT AGAIN! YOU COULD FUCKING DIE OUT THERE RAY!”_ Michael stopped, taking a deep breath accompanied with panting as he calmed himself down, _“... Are you hurt?”_

Michael’s words came way down to a softer tone, but it was still very firm and very serious. Ray was hesitant to answer but he slowly nodded, “... No… I tripped… but… that doesn’t matter…”

_“Are you lost?”_

“...No.”

He could hear Michael suck in a very deep breath, the kind that made him rattle a little as the air filled his lungs, _“Don’t ever do that again,_ ” He repeated, letting the gust of air out of his lungs, _“You have no fucking clue how scared we all were.”_

“... I’m sorry,” Ray repeated, “... I didn’t think anyone else would be involved with this…”

 _“What? You think any of us are going to just let anyone wander off into the forest upset? With no explanation? Do you know how many red flags that sets off, Ray?”_ Michael reasoned, voice raising a little again but he reigned it back in, _“You’re our friend Ray, we care about you, we care about your safety. I don’t think I’ve heard Ryan that scared in years, he was freaking out when he called me. You two have been so close and then all of a sudden you’re telling him to leave you alone the way you did… He had to call me so someone could get in touch with you because he was afraid that anything he would do might set off something. We had no idea what to think, did he go suicidal? Did he lose his fucking mind? Is he just pissed off? We don’t know!”_

Ray couldn’t stop the lump from forming in his throat this time, all the trouble he’d caused, all the worry, everyone had been trying to get through to him, thinking the worst had happened. Ray brought his legs up and hugged his knees close, “...I’m sorry…”

His voice didn’t even attempt to hide how awful he felt this time, tears began to well up in his eyes, he actually wanted to cry a little but he tried his best to keep himself together. Michael picked up on the change though, voice softening till he sounded warm and worried and welcoming, _“Ray, what’s going on.”_

Ray shook his head, “... I can’t say it…”

 _“Ray, come on, it’s just me and you buddy,”_ Michael’s voice soothed him, _“Not a word of this will go to anyone else, I swear, I’ll tell everyone you just started feeling a little claustrophobic and your radio signal started acting up if you want, just tell me what’s going on.”_

Ray shook his head again, “... It’s really bad…”

_“Ray, I don’t care if you just killed someone out in the woods right now, I’m worried about you, and clearly there’s something bothering you. Nothing’s going to get better if you don’t tell someone there’s a problem.”_

“...But I’m the problem…” Ray choked on the words, he was the whole reason everything was a mess right now.

Michael’s tone got serious quick, _“No. You aren’t a problem. Who the fuck said you were?”_

“No one-”

_“Then you’re not a problem. Not me, not Gavin, not Geoff, not Jack, and especially not Ryan, none of us think you’re a problem. We think you’re awesome, I mean that, I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that every single one of us is glad to have met you, fuck we haven’t even known you for that long dude and we can’t get enough of you!”_

Ray sucked in a deep breath, “That’s why I’m a problem.”

Michael got quiet for a minute and chose his next words carefully, _“What scared you?”_

Ray took a sharp breath, that one was the one that got to him, “... I’m awful…”

 _“Don’t,”_ Michael stopped him right there, _“Don’t tell me what you think right now, just tell me what happened.”_

Ray started to shake again, he really wanted to say it outloud, he was just afraid of what Michael would think of him, “... You won’t like it…”

 _“Who gives a shit what I like and don’t like. You want my likes? I like you, Ray, and I don’t like hearing you upset like this. Talk to me, I don’t care what it is, we’ll talk it out.”_ Michael promised him.

“... You’re not going to yell at me after I say it?” He had to ask, Michae sometimes terrified him, all bark and no bite or what, it still stressed him out.

_“I’m not going to promise you that, mainly because I can’t fucking control my goddamn mouth, I’m not going to promise I won’t be angry either, but I can promise you that I won’t hate you for it, and what’s the worst thing that could happen? I’m miles away from you, what can I do?”_

He had a point, and it was enough to convince Ray that he was safe, even in just this moment, he took another deep breath, “... I… I had this dream…”

Ray waited for Michael to confirm he was listening or say anything, really, but he didn’t. The redhead was determined to remain silent and listen, “It was about Ryan… and I didn’t know what was happening till I had that dream… I’ve been… feeling different… for days and it’s always been talking with him that made me feel like that… I-I just didn’t get it, I didn’t understand. It feels… It feels like being scared and being happy at the same time and it hurts and it feels good but it can’t happen… And then… I had a dream last night, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t see, I just heard Ryan’s voice and- and I could feel him touching me and… and I liked it… it made that weird feeling make sense but I can’t deal with it… I can’t hear his voice without thinking about him that way and it makes me feel awful because I treated him like shit because of it and I shouldn’t be thinking about him like that… I feel disgusting, I am disgusting…”

 _“...You’re not disgusting,”_ Michael finally broke in, _“... You just felt love for someone, that’s not disgusting.”_

Ray couldn’t believe that kind of response, “I had a wet dream about him…”

_“That’s not weird Ray, I get wet dreams about the people I love. That’s not a big deal.”_

“It feels wrong.”

_“Yeah, every wet dream feels weird, it’s like having sex with your brain.”_

Ray really wished he could laugh at that, he would if he wasn’t feeling like he was being choked by his own throat, “... But I shouldn’t feel like that towards him.”

 _“Who said that? You can feel however the fuck you want about someone, it doesn’t change anything, you just know a little more now,”_ Michael reasoned, there was a pause before his next words, _“... ANd who says he doesn’t feel the same way back.”_

Ray shook his head, “There’s no way a guy like Ryan would feel like that towards some Puerto Rican guy from New York that couldn’t be further out of his depth… or weaker for that matter…”

 _“You never know…”_ Michael mumbled. Ray’s eyebrows furrowed at that but before he could as, Michael kept going, _“Look, Ryan’s been closer to you in like half a month then I was with him halfway through my first summer with the guy. Even if he doesn’t feel that way back, he cares a lot about you, just like the rest of us do. I don’t think any of us expected to get so close to you, so fast, we definitely didn’t see Ryan talking to us all for hours and hours about how great Ray is.”_

At that, Ray snorted.

 _“I’m serious,”_ Michael told him, _“Guy only talks about you, it’s always ‘Ray said this’, ‘Ray did this’, ‘Ray’s doing this today’, ‘Ray adopted a fucking turtle named… Gumwad and made me talk to it, it was sooooo cute’. He fucking thinks the world of you.”_

Ray’s eyes went wide, “... He really does that?”

 _“You’re always on his mind… honestly, I’m kinda jealous…”_ Michael admitted, there was a distinct sadness in his voice now, _“You should tell him though, tell him that you really like him. Do it for yourself, it’ll make you feel better.”_

Ray nodded, he knew it would be right, “Okay…,” He submitted, “Can… Can I ask you to do something for me?”

_“Yeah, man, anything you need.”_

“Could you call Ryan and tell him… uh… tell him I’m not upset with him, I really fucked up earlier, and I’ll call him… tonight.” Ray mulled his decision over carefully, the sooner he got it out the better.

 _“Yeah… I’ll tell him.”_ Michael answered, quiet.

“Thanks,” Ray told Michael, wholeheartedly, “I… I’m sorry this is… I’m not used to this.”

 _“No one ever gets used to confessions. Except maybe priests.”_ Michael tried to lighten the conversation but the joke fell a little flat, something was just off now, Ray wondered if he had really put a damper on Michael’s day now with all this drama.

“I meant having friends… actually… good friends.” Ray shifted awkwardly as he stood up from the ground, ankle protesting just a little.

Michael was quiet for a minute, Ray would have thought he’d closed his line if it weren’t for the sounds of shallow breathing on the other end, _“... Ray.”_

“I’m here…” Ray rubbed at his arms, either it was getting a little cold out or he was still feeling uneasy.

 _“I’m glad you came out here,”_ Michael said slowly, _“I can’t think of the last time I just had a friend.”_

Ray cleared his throat, admittedly a little emotional at Michael’s words, “What about the others?”

Michael got silent for a minute, _“It’s different… I’ll explain it later… soon. Look, don’t worry about it okay, right now you should be getting back to your tower. It’s getting late. Where even are you, man?”_

Ray smiled a bit, hearing Michael’s voice lighten. He really liked hearing Michael sound happy and even if he did sound upset, he was a little happier. Like there was something he was anticipating now as well, “I’m at the overlook, where we… officially met, face to face. Down Five Mile Creek.”

 _“That’s a good place to sit and think awhile.”_ Michael approved.

“Yeah,” Ray agreed, “It was.”

 _“We should hang out again, in person.”_ He suggested.

“We should.”

_“We don’t have to go do anything, just talk for awhile.”_

“That sound fine with me.”

 _“I’ll bring some beers.”_ Michael offered, getting much happier at the plan.

“You can drink them all yourself.” Ray chuckled.

 _“I just might, and I’ll crash at your place when I can’t make it back to mine.”_ Michael laughed.

“I wouldn’t mind, that sounds great. I think my tower is driving me insane. I’m the pathetic lonely guy afterall.” Ray reminded him, a smile breaking across his face, happy he could joke again.

 _“You’re not alone out here. None of us are,”_ Michael reassured him, seriously, _“Now  for the love of fuck Ray, go home and talk to Ryan before he keeps me up all night.”_

Ray snorted a laugh at the thought of Ryan pestering Michael into morning hours, “I promise.”

_“Damn straight.”_

* * *

 

It took awhile for Ray to make his way back to Two Forks Tower, he instantly regretted leaving his map behind when he was at a loss of just how far along Five Mile Creek he needed to be. Eventually he ended up going a little too far and ended up somewhere else entirely with wide trees that had long thick roots protruding from the ground. He hadn’t see that area before and instantly decided he’d gone way too far. He eventually made his way back up and found a part of the trail he recognised that led him back towards the Medicine Wheel, the landmark of strategically placed stones certain was a helpful sight after what had to be an hour of wandering around clueless.

Oddly enough, Ray didn’t find this time alone in the forest to be all that terrifying. With everything else going on, the forest was the least of his worries right now. He was still trying to figure out just what his sexuality was at this point, he eventually had to settle for bisexual on the basis of experience. Afterall he’d liked girls, and been with a girl, and it felt right. He hadn’t exactly been with a man, but he hadn’t thought there was anything wrong with the idea since he was in middle school, and he was attracted to Ryan. Even if he was only into who Ryan was. Ray figured that was better off than a lot of other relationships which were solely based on looks, at least he was definitely into a Ryan’s personality since he could never quite settle on what Ryan really looked like. So, bi it was, as far as he was concerned for now.

Ray’s fatigue didn’t really catch up to him till he was climbing the steps to his tower. It was like the encroaching proximity to his nest was directly related to the pain in his legs. His ankle certainly didn’t appreciate it and he just knew that was going to be sore for a few days. Ray moved for the door as soon as he got up the stairs but he stopped himself the second he opened the door by just a crack, it wobbled off its busted hinges for a moment before he lifted it back into place and decided to go around the back. He grunted as he plopped himself down between the railing supports, legs hanging off the edge and arms folding over the railing itself. This had become his spot whenever he talked with Ryan during the night when it felt nice and they could feel at peace. The sun was hitting its first hour of sunset, just the slightest tint of orange to the yellow glow that made the mountains in the distance appear misty behind Ryan’s tower.

Ray squinted, trying to see if he could make out anything going on in Ryan’s tower but it was impossible. His eyes just weren’t good enough. For a minute, he debated getting back up to retrieve his spyglass but quickly decided there was no point in that. Taking a few deep breaths he pulled out his radio and made sure it was tuned to Ryan’s frequency before he hit the talk button.

For a minute he just held it there, debating how to start the conversation and just listening to whatever was on the other end. It didn’t seem like Ryan had noticed his radio had just received a signal as all Ray could here was the sound of a pencil making marks on what could only be presumed was paper. What Ryan was doing he had no idea, but he certainly was curious.

‘Well, I suppose that’s as good of a start as any.’ He thought to himself before taking the plunge.

“What are you doing?” He spoke softly, voice a little hoarse so he quickly tried to clear it. Ray heard the pencil still on the other end before he heard it drop completely and paper rustling before the radio was being handled.

_“Ray?”_

Ray dipped his head down a little shamefully, “Yeah, I’m here…”

He heard Ray give an exasperated laugh, one that was more relief than amused or happy, _“...Hi…”_

Ray gave a short laugh in return, a genuine one because, fucking really, fucking ‘Hi’.

“Hi.” Ray got out a reply before he had to stifle down another laugh.

Ryan joined in with a little awkward one of his own that just made it harder to choke down the laughter for Ray, _“I don’t really get it, why are we laughing?”_

“Why are _you_ laughing?” Ray requested, his own laughs forcing through and started to become his loud, real, laughs.

 _“I’m laughing because you’re laughing,”_ Ryan answered, now genuinely amused, _“I don’t fucking know, you’re contagious, why the fuck are you laughing?”_

“I’m laughing because you’re such a goddamned dork, Ryan, fucking “Hi”,” Ray let out a loud string of laughs, his genuine skip like laughter that just repeated in sets, “You could have yelled at me like Michael did, you could have been worried, you could have told me to fuck off, but no, just “Hi”.”

Ryan laughed out a sigh, _“Do you want me to do all of that?”_

Ray shook his head, “No… Yes… Fuck I don’t know. No, actually, no, I don’t. I like “Hi”, “Hi” is good right now. It’s you.”

_“It’s me?”_

“It’s so you… I like it.”

‘I like you…’, his thought’s internally corrected him. There was silence as Ray’s laughter quickly quit and Ryan’s followed suit. Ray wasn’t sure how to approach the subject yet, he still hadn’t really thought any of it through.

 _“It’s good to hear you happy again.”_ Ryan broke in and Ray’s heart skipped a beat at the tone in his voice. He was just so sincere.

“I’m sorry, about this morning, that was uncalled for.” Ray apologized quietly.

 _“That’s alright, Sunshine, everyone has bad days.”_ He was so calm and understanding, it was good to know he had the patience to put up with him right now. Ray remembered the first day of work, when they hardly knew who each other were but Ryan consistently put up with his bullshit just to get to know him. Even when he pissed Ryan off, bringing out the scary side of him, showing Ray just how easy it could be to shut him out entirely, he still came back, calm, collected, and even worried for him.

“I think that might be the understatement of the century.” Ray groaned.

_“What, uh, what exactly went down? Did your walk help?”_

Ray let out another groan, “Not sure if you really want to know everything.”

_“Why? You didn’t get hurt did you?”_

“No, not really.”

 _“That doesn’t sound entirely truthful.”_ Ryan called him out.

“You’re such a dad...,” Ray moaned, he was getting more upset with himself again. Sooner or later he’d have to say it, whether he wanted to or not, and he might as well start, “I… have to tell you something… Michael said it’d be better to just say it to you so… I’m going to do that… because honestly, I just want to say it and get it out there so I can stop acting like I’ve lost my mind.”

_“Okay… I’m listening, it this what happened to cause… what that was this morning.”_

“...Yeah…”

_“....Alright then… I’m all ears.”_

“I just… I need to tell you first… if you don’t like what you hear it’s fine if you never want to talk to me again, I understand… I don’t want to talk to me ever again…”

 _“Ray, I’m not going to do that, I just want to know what’s wrong.”_ Ryan intervened his rambling, he was serious and concerned.

Ray took a few deep breaths, working up the courage to actually take the plunge before he finally organized the words in his head, “I-I feel… I think… I think I’m attracted to you… That… that roller coaster emotion, I found out it was always because of you… and I found out… I found out…,” Ray was so hesitant to say it but he knew he should, “I found out what it was… last night… when I-when I had a wet dream about you… and that’s why… that’s why I couldn’t handle speaking with you this morning. Because, holy shit, how do you talk to someone you just had a wet dream about? It was seriously killing me to hear your voice, because I felt… I still feel, that thinking of you like that is a horrible thing to do. You’re my friend, you’re such a good friend, the best friend I’ve had in years already, and I know we barely know each other, that’s why it’s so awful but… it’s true… and it’s like Michael said, the problem won't go away if I don’t talk about it, even if the problem is me.”

Ray stopped, taking a deep breath, that came out as a complete mess. Each second that ticked by of Ryan silence made him even more uncomfortable, everything he said was just wrong, wasn’t it?

“I’m sorry, that was… none of this makes any sen-”

_“You had a wet dream about me? That’s flattering.”_

Ray stared off into the distance, towards Ryan’s towers, eyebrows knitted and eyes wide. Did he really just say that? “...What?”

Ryan let out a sigh, somewhat amused and also a little pleased, _“I… uh… yeah that was probably not the response you were wanting, sorry.”_

Ray stayed quiet, more out of not knowing what to possibly say after that.

_“You’re not the only one hiding things. I meant to say something sooner but… I still had some things to sort through myself.”_

Ray shook his head, not following this at all, he rubbed at his chin with his hand, “... What?”

Ryan’s let out an awkward groan, _“I guess I should have said it sooner,”_ Ryan admitted, _“I’ve got a thing for you too.”_

Ray could swear his heart stopped right there. One thought ran it’s way through his brain at break neck speed till he blurted it out, “Seriously?”

 _“Yeah…”_ Ryan confirmed, serious but also feeling just as off about the situation they were in as Ray was. Before Ray could say anything back, Ryan gave warning, _“But… as much as I feel the same about you, I can’t reciprocate anything. Not yet anyways.”_

Now Ray was thoroughly confused, “I don’t… what?”

Ryan sighed again, this time frustrated, _“This is why I didn’t say anything yet. I like you Ray, like you feel towards me, but I can’t act on any of those feelings until I handles some issues of my own.”_

“... What issues?”

There was a tense silence from Ryan’s side before he finally answered _, “... I’m in a relationship Ray, and it’s… it’s not so easy to explain.”_

Ray felt all of his insides drop like a rock off of a ten story building. He leaned away from the railing in shock. He was taken, that was certainly a no then, “...I’m sorry… I’m an idiot, I didn’t even ask you.”

 _“No Ray, that’s not- I just didn’t tell you, that’s on me. I’ve been keeping that from you… I should have just told you but… there’s some complications,”_ Ryan groaned, exasperated. Ray wasn’t sure where Ryan was headed with this, _“I really want to pursue you Ray… And I hope you’d want me to, do you?”_

Ray felt his head nod without actually realizing he was doing it, “Y-yes.”

_“I need to handle some things first then. It’s not something I can just jump into… and this isn’t something you can just jump into either. None of this is coming out right…”_

Ray felt relief, though he wasn’t sure why, Ryan was taken right? Or was he, the things Ryan said, the phrasing, it was confusing. Still, the faint sliver of hope that he might actually get a shot at Ryan made his heart swell again, “So… what does this mean?”

 _“It means…”_ Ryan thought out his words carefully but they just came out as rambling, _“It means I need to have a talk, not with you- I mean, I_ do _need to have a talk with you but I need to have a talk with… someone else. And that’s going to take time. I was… really not expecting this to all happen at once. I guess that’s my fault though.”_

“Ryan.”

_“...Yeah?”_

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Ray eventually gave an exhausted laugh.

Ryan just paused, _“... Uh… Fuck, I’m lost now...”_

“Greaaaaat.” Ray slumed against the railing, letting his head bang against the wood. He wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse after all of this. He could hear the creak of a chair on the other end of the call, like Ryan was struggling to figure it all out as well. This was practically torture.

                                                                       

 _“... I really wish you were here, in person,”_ Ryan groaned. Ray picked his head up, staring at the radio, _“It would be so much easier to explain in person.”_

“Explain what?” Ray rubbed at his face, “Look, Ryan, I’m not planning on being a homewrecker. You’re with someone, I’m not coming between you-”

_“No, that’s not what’s happening, trust me. Man, this is why I really wish we could talk face to face, this is aggravatingly awkward.”_

“Well…,” Ray fumbled on his words, “What are you trying to say? Just tell it to me straight? You keep saying yes and no at the same time, what the fuck am I supposed to make of that?”

 _“I’m trying to tell you that I feel the same about you and it’s really weird, because I hardly know you! I’ve never wanted to be with someone I’ve only known for two weeks, Ray! Definitely not for a guy either, that kind of level takes a shit ton of time and then you came along and… I don’t know, something about you just changes me and I really like that,”_ Ryan halted, voice getting quieter, _“I like the way you make me feel when we talk, and we just talk… I don’t get it. I don’t get how you can just do it, two weeks… Two weeks and I’m pining over some kid from New York that I barely know and all I want is for September to roll around so I can meet him in person.”_

Ray was dumbstruck, his heart rate sped up. That he understood more than anything else Ryan had attempted to say, even if it was only because he was feeling the same thing. He wanted to see Ryan too, wanted to know the person he was quickly falling for. The problem remained though, it wasn’t right to be seeing him, not when he had someone.

_“And the worst part is, I can’t even do anything about it. I’m miles away, not even allowed to hike out that way, so I just sit here, everyday, listening to every word you say and wonder if you’re okay. I listen to you fall asleep and wish I could say something more than just “goodnight” when you can’t stay up any longer with me. I want to tell you the truth but I can’t even do that and goddamn it, that would fix so much of this if I could just tell you.”_

Ray felt sick again, scared even though he wasn’t sure why. Was it even fear or was this just the feeling of being overwhelmed? Did Ryan really feel that intensely for him?

“...Why… why can’t you?” He timidly asked.

He could hear Ryan huff, out of breath, _“Because it’s not my call… it’s not just up to me. I’ve fucked up once before, I can’t do it again…”_

Ryan sounded so put out, Ray could relate to it. He sounded just how Ray had felt earlier, out of his mind and feeling like there was no way out. He sighed, just knowing Ryan was so torn apart over him made him happy in the wierdest way, content that his own emotions weren’t wasted. He straightened up, clearing his throat, “...You said you needed to talk to someone?”

_“Yeah…”_

“Maybe we should just put this on hold until you do then?” Ray suggested, it seemed like a good way to stop Ryan’s descent into madness. He didn’t want to hear Ryan sink that low.

 _“...Maybe…”_ Ryan slowly agreed.

“Talk to them then,” Ray nodded, even though Ryan couldn’t see it, “As much as I like to hear you get all sappy about me I still don’t feel right about this.”

Ryan let out a laugh, the best sound in the world right now as far as Ray was concerned. There wasn’t anger or insecurity, it just sounded like Ryan’s normal laugh again and that’s all Ray wanted right now. He wanted to talk with Ryan and have Ryan talk to him like it was all normal again, _“I know, it’s complicated.”_

“I kind of figured that part out. I wish you’d just give me a solid answer but… it’s fine, you know,” Ray mused, “We’ve got all summer to figure out if this is really a thing.”

* * *

 

They had a lot to understand about each other, that was how they ended their night, Ray and Ryan. They didn’t talk for much longer, only enough to try and get to a point where both of them felt stable with the way they felt towards each other. An agreement was eventually made, Ryan would sort things out on his end and after that was done, they could then see about going anywhere with their mutual feelings.

For the time being, Ray decided he needed sleep, and badly. He still wasn’t completely all together after all of the day's events and was still feeling stressed out of his mind. It was alright though, the stress was much more pleasant than before, now being caused by the words Ryan had said to him, the way he described what drove him crazy about Ray. It was like the most awkward poetry but still the most romantic thing he’d ever been told.

Right now he wasn’t going to worry about anything else. He’d said what he needed to and he’d gotten an answer too, albeit one that came with a few complications. Whatever happened after this point remained to be determined further down the line and he was glad for that, he wasn’t even sure what he was willing to do with his own feelings just yet. How far was he willing to take this himself? Dating? Good start, but then what? His mind wandered to one of their talks about what they missed from civilization, when Ryan mentioned taking him for a drive. Did he know then? Was he already thinking about what could happen between them?

Ray smiled at the thought, settling into his sheets. Ryan certainly had an annoyingly persistent nature to him, and Ray was certain that whatever Ryan had in mind he could find a way to convince him into doing anything. He could try to deny it from himself but at this late in the evening, there was no point in trying. It would only ruin a good night’s sleep anyways.

The persistent hum of static distracted Ray from drifting off. He cursed internally at himself for leaving his radio open again. He thought about getting up and turning it off but it was all the way across his tower and he’d just gotten comfortable. He kept debating with himself how much it would be worth to turn it off, could he just ignore it?

Before he reached a decision, the radio answered for him with the sound of voices being picked up by his open signal. Since he was still synced to Ryan, he was hearing everything that came through to Ryan’s now open line.

_“Ryan, you still up?”_

Ray’s interest immediately focused in on his radio, sleep be damned.

 _“When am I not?”_ Ryan answered.

 _“Did you and Ray…?”_ Michael’s words trailed off. Ray knew he didn’t need to be listening to this, it was a private conversation after all but just before he made a move to go and turn off his radio, he remembered the last time he was caught listening into a private conversation, Ryan hadn’t been happy with him. Though that probably wouldn’t happen now, he decided it was best to just ignore it all together and go back to sleep. If only it was so easy to ignore the only two voices filling his tower.

 _“He called me, we talked…,”_ Ryan’s voice was hesitant, _“He told me how he felt. I think he told you first though.”_

There was a sudden tension to the dialogue that even made Ray feel uncomfortable. Ryan’s voice was slow, and soft, and serious but it was also sad and uneasy. Michael responded first with a sigh.

 _“You know_ we _need to talk about this too.”_ Michael told him, almost like it was a reminder, _“We’ve been dancing around this for awhile, we all knew what was happening Ryan.”_

 _“...I know.”_ Ryan was slow to respond.

“ _We’re not mad, we just… we just wish you’d tell us so we can talk about it.”_ Michael assured him.

 _“... I wish you were mad at me, I shouldn’t have acted like that.”_ Ryan told Michael, remorse heavy in his voice, _“I never thought he would feel like that towards me. Fuck, I didn’t even realize what I was doing.”_

_“What happened? What did you tell him?”_

_“I apologized. I told him the truth, that I’m in a relationship,”_ Ryan heaved a heavy sigh, _“... I’m so sorry.”_

Ray wasn’t entirely sure what was going on anymore. This was what Ryan had told him earlier but it was different, like he was hearing something more that made whatever he was told earlier seem like a lie. In Ryan’s tone there was a novel’s worth of information that Ray couldn’t read.

 _“Don’t be sorry,”_ Michael’s response was surprisingly light, it seemed to come as a shock to Ryan as well as Ray could hear his breathing change ever so slightly, _“We both know you’re not completely happy where you are right now. You’ve been missing someone and no one’s filled that gap yet, then in comes Ray. You don’t think we’ve noticed?”_

Ryan stayed quiet as Michael kept talking. Ray was fully invested in the conversation, not really understanding everything but certainly latching on to the points about Ryan. He was getting confused, Ryan said he was in a relationship but the way he and Michael talked it didn’t seem like that was quite right. If there’s no one special to Ryan, how can he be in a relationship?

_“But it’s not fair to-”_

Ryan made an attempt to counter argue only to have his words swallowed by Michael, Ray knew first hand just how much Michael could suck up all the bullshit out of thin air.

 _“It is. You just have to talk to us first,”_ Michael’s words became a weird mixture of reassuring and aggressive but the softened dramatically by the next time he opened his mouth, _“We want you to be happy, Ryan, but we don’t like secrets. No one should be feeling scared they're going to lose someone because they won’t open their mouth and say something about this. You heard Ray, he was falling apart, we could have solved all of this.”_

Ray curled up a little tighter around himself, Michael was really intuitive. It made Ray a little uncomfortable to hear the conversation shift so heavily towards him but he wanted to know all the same.

 _“I didn’t think it was right.”_ Ryan admitted, sounding almost hollow with the defeat in his tone, _“Not after the last time.”_

 _“Fuck the last time,”_ Michael put down that train of thought just as it started moving, _“This isn’t like last time, that wasn’t all on you either. That was on her and all her fucking games. You’re past this, you’re faithful, you didn’t love her.”_

Michael chanted it like a mantra, voice holding such an intense tone like it was carving every word with a knife. Whoever “she” was, Michael clearly held no love for her and apparently she wasn’t one to deserve it, _“But you like Ray. You like him more than anyone. Eighteen days, Ryan, eighteen days and he’s gotten you acting like a goddamn school girl and you’ve got him in a panic that he might have actually found someone in this world he could fall in love with. You’ve never moved this fast, you’ve never been this open, if that’s not a goddamn sign I don't know what is.”_

Michael words hung in the air and Ray let them sink in, happy amidst all the confusion. Ryan did like him, it was one thing to hear Ryan say it and something entirely different to hear it from Michael. When Michael said it, it just seemed so much more obvious than Ryan’s word that quickly changed to tell Ray it couldn’t happen.

 _“... We’ll talk tomorrow,”_ Ryan told Michael, _“The whole group.”_

 _“Alright.”_ Michael let it concluded there, he seemed understanding about the situation, content to have reached an agreement.

Just like that, the call ended and Ray lay there, staring at the radio across the room from him. He didn’t understand it, it seemed that the person Ryan had said he needed to talk to was Michael, and then it sounded like he needed to talk to all the others, and why were they so concerned about Ryan’s relationships. Ray huffed, burying his head under the covers.

‘Stop thinking about this shit,’ His mind told him, ‘You’re going to give yourself a headache.’

* * *

 Day 19

* * *

 

All day. That was how long Ray had gone without a single word from anyone. It seemed like the little talk Ray had overheard the night before was really happening. He’d made sure last night when he had to get up to take a leak to turn his damn radio off, really getting frustrated at himself that he kept forgetting. At the same time though, he was learning things he wouldn’t find out otherwise so maybe it wasn’t all bad.

Ray wasn’t set on just staying in his tower all day and waiting though. Not after he’d practically lost it the day before. It became clear he needed to take routine hikes out and Ray had a good plan to keep himself in check. He was getting tired of washing in his sink, and with a lake nearby he figured he should take advantage of that.

Taking his radio, map, his toiletries, and a package of beef jerky from his supplies he made his way down to the lake, following Five Mile Creek all the way down to it. If he weren’t feeling so self conscious about bathing himself in the open he would have taken advantage of the creek’s proximity to his tower but seeing as he was about to strip down as bare as the skinny dipping pyromaniac teens he decided the lake was better.

It was awkward as hell to be naked outside. Never before had he considered ever doing something like this. He knew it was common to skinny dip and, in a forest, what were the chances of anyone ever actually seeing him but still. Being in a city his whole life, streaking, especially in Queens, was just a huge nope. Needless to say, he made his way waist deep into the water as quickly as possible.

He hadn’t really noticed till he got in just how badly he needed to actually submerge himself in water. Leftover pond scum feeling was desirable at this point. Eighteen days worth of built up sweat, dirt, and whatever had mixed itself into his own brand of filth had just stuck to him. All the little wash up in the sink he’d had were practically pointless. Immediately he was scrubbing as much off of him as possible, really glad that no one had decided to take a camping trip out his way.

Ray was surprised at how shallow the lake was, being able to walk out towards the small island in the center with the water only reaching as deep as his neck. With that realization, he took he made sure everything was in his pack before he brought it all the way out to the center, holding it securely above his head as he did. At least this way he had a little more privacy, just in case.

                                                

Shaving was as hard as he imagined it would be. He’d never had to shave his face with only his fingers and a very wavy reflexion as a guide for where his beard was. Every swipe with his razor was made very carefully, he didn’t care for trying to trim his beard, opting that it would be better to have no beard at all then a fucked up one.

Halfway through shaving his face, he heard the muffled sound of a voice calling his name. An awkward wade back to the large rock island and a heave up to the ledge he’d set his radio down on and finally he could answer after nearly falling back into the water. He sputtered as a wave of water came up and hit him in the face for the sudden drop back in.

                                                                 

“Y-yeah.” Ray coughed.

 _“Ray, you the- You okay?”_ It was Michael, Ray could just tell the voice over the sound of his own coughing, eventually he had to just clear his throat and spit out the disgusting taste of the lake.

“...Fine.”

_“Hang on, I can barely hear you, check your signal.”_

Ray messed with the settings on his radio, his signal was still defaulted towards Ryan and Ray quickly changed it to Michael’s. Very rarely did the signal setting really matter since once someone had him on call the radio’s took that signal as priority and unless the other person left their own line open to their signal, they weren’t going to hear anything. It was something Ray was beginning to understand now that he was failing miserably at staying out of other people’s business, “That better?”

_“Yeah, loads. You alright? You sound off.”_

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine I just fell back in the lake trying to grab my radio.”

 _“Oh shit,”_ Michael laughed, _“What the fuck are you doing in the lake?”_

Ray shrugged, “Taking a bath.”

The laughter from Michael’s side didn’t exactly fill him with confidence about what he was doing, _“That’s awesome, I’ve got to do that some time. How’s the water?”_

“Tastes like lake,” Ray spat again, that wasn’t likely to disappear any time soon, “But other then that it’s great. More shallow than I expected.”

_“Man, I never thought about taking a dip in the lake to get clean. I should do that sometime, I can’t believe you brought some swim trunks out here with you, I can’t remember shit like that.”_

“I didn’t,” Ray blushed, “I’m not wearing anything.” Ray nervously got closer to the rock, feeling exposed as the conversation took that turn.

 _“Oh,”_ Michael’s laugh was nervous and amused, _“Whoops, sorry, didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that.”_

“Nah, it’s fine… Wish I did have some trunks, it’s really awkward being naked out in the open.”

_“Yeah, I bet. But it sounds like a nice time, me and you should meet up for a swim sometime.”_

“Oh yeah, ‘cause that’s not awkward at all. Two guys who work together just chilling out in the middle of the forest butt fucking naked.” Ray shook his head but he couldn’t help but laugh as he imagined the scene.

 _“I was going to suggest sacrificing a pair of boxers for a swimsuit but hey, that sounds fun too.”_ Michael joked suggestively.

Ray ran a hand through his wet hair, scratching his scalp, thinking he probably should have thought about that first, “I should have just worn my clothes in, they need washing more than I do.”

He heard Michael chuckling on the other end, _“Have you not been washing your clothes.”_

Ray’s face went red, he knew he should have been he just wasn’t sure how, “... I may or may not have skipped that.”

_“Ray, you live by more water sources that the rest of us. You have a sink, a creek that runs right through your section, a stream in Thunder Canyon, and a fucking lake. Why the hell haven’t you washed your clothes?”_

“Alright, I get it, I’m an idiot. I’ll wash my clothes when I get back. Right after I’m done skinny dipping.” Ray promised.

_“Good, get yourself completely cleaned up then maybe we can have a talk.”_

Ray raised an eyebrow, “We’re not talking right now?”

 _“I didn’t mean us, I meant we as in all of us, the whole group. Trying for a group talk tonight.”_ Michael clarified.

“Oh, okay.”

_“That’s actually why I called, I was just going to let you know.”_

“Alright, I see how it is, don’t want to talk to me? Too gross for you?” Ray joked.

 _“Yeah, just the sound of your voice makes me sick,”_ Michael retorted, just as sarcastic, _“Nah, I’ve got my own stuff to do before sundown. I’ve got to call Gavin after this, that’s going to waste a solid hour on it’s own.”_

“Okay, I guess I should hurry up here so I can get back in my tower before dark.”

 _“That’s probably a good idea, but I mean, if you want to go streaking through the forest at night, that’s on you man.”_ Michael told him, always so supportive of the worst ideas.

“I don’t want to blind any campers,” Ray assured him otherwise, “I’m going to finish shaving, I’ll talk to you later then.”

 _“You got it, later.”_ Michael’s end turned off and Ray sighed with a shake of his head. Michael was, well, Michael, an odd combination of hot headed, determined, and chill mixed into one. Somehow, though, it just made sense. He sat his radio back down before wading back out into the deeper water.

Ray resumed his shaving, he tried to go a little faster so he could get out and dry off soon. He had about three hours of daylight left, including sundown, but sometimes it took a while to make his way back. Just as he got into the rhythm of shaving again, another buzz came from his radio. Ray let out an exaggerated sigh and mumbled, “Really? Who the fuck is calling me now?”

Ray started making his way back but Michael’s voice came through clear again. At first, Ray thought Michael had forgotten to tell him something until it became clear Michael was aiming his conversation at someone else when he called out a single word, _“Gavin?”_ The sound of Michael’s voice echoed over to Ray and it hit him almost as fast as his own palm to his forehead. Even if they could hear him, they were already into their own conversation anyways.

“Stupid fucking idiot,” Ray muttered at himself, smacking his head some more, thankfully he was far enough away the radio wouldn’t pick up his voice, “Turn your goddamn radio off.”

He reached the rock again, hauling himself up to turn it off until he heard his name. He stopped, it seemed like he was always the topic of every call he overheard now. Ray really wanted to just reach over and turn it off but again, he didn’t, too curious for his own good. That and he had a suspicion it might give away some of that conversation they’d been having all day without him.

 _“Michool~ Tell me more about him.”_ He heard Gavin whining. He sounded playful, a voice Ray had come to recognize whenever Gavin joined one of his calls with Michael. Whenever all three of them would talk, Gavin would always start getting this way around Michael. It was usually because he wanted something or he was bored, for some reason Michael was always the solution to whichever it was.

_“Why?”_

_“Because you’ve actually seen Ray! You’re the only one of us that’s actually met him.”_

_“Yeah, so?”_

_“Is he hot?”_

Ray blushed, where the hell was this conversation going? He had to know now.

 _“I wouldn’t go that far, he’s more of a cute guy then a hot guy. He’s got a nice ass,”_ Ray was surprised to hear that coming for Michael, especially with how nonchalant he sounded just talking about him. It made Ray wonder, did Michael actually check him out when they were tracking down those girls, _“Like at first glance you can’t see it but he’s got this curve to his back that’s real nice.”_

Michael had checked him out.

 _“How’s his hips?”_ Gavin asked, a little laugh at the end of his tongue.

 _“Not sure, he was wearing jeans, kinda baggy ones.”_ Ray was wide-eyed staring at his radio, Michael was remembering more about that day then he was, and all about him.

 _“Aw, damn shame.”_ Gavin pouted.

 _“Why does it matter what he looks like? That’s never really mattered before.”_ Michael pointed out, a slight edge to his voice, possibly out of annoyance.

_“It doesn’t bother me, I just want to know. You’ve actually seen him, you’ve got a little more to go on then what Ryan says.”_

_“You didn’t care what I looked like.”_ Michael told him, reminding him. Ray’s jaw dropped as he realized the implications behind those words.

 _“That’s different, Michael, you’re my boi. I just wanted you bad.”_ Gavin’s words confirmed what Ray had just begun to suspect. Michael and Gavin were together.

 _“You got me.”_ Michael’s voice dropped low, a little husky.

 _“I sure did, love.”_ Gavin’s voice dropped to match, those his was still a little giggly.

Ray sat himself back down in the water. In hindsight, he wondered how he actually missed this. Gavin was the worst at keeping anything to himself, he’d been practically flaunting their relationship in every call but with the way everyone sort of joked Ray had taken it as just a joke, part of the group’s humor. It just seemed like one of Gavin’s usual attempts to get a rise out of Michael, though now it seemed it just got a different kind of rise out of him. Ray shook his head, in disbelief that he’d missed this.

_“You sounded worried earlier in the call, getting a little jealous of Ray?”_

_“Maybe a little,”_ Gavin admitted, _“Ryan gives him all his attention.”_

 _“Yeah, well Ryan loves him. I give you all of my attention, doesn’t mean I don’t love the others too.”_ Michael pointed out.

_“I know, I can see why Ryan’s crazy about him though. I like him too, I bet I could feel the same given time. What do you think of him?”_

_“I really like him,”_ Michael agreed, Ray rubbed at his face nervously as he listened. This was all news to him. That meant that talk yesterday, it wasn’t just Michael being a good friend, he had some input in on this too, _“We get along great, I don’t know, we just kind of clicked. But I’m not going to be disappointed if he doesn’t like the thought of being with the whole group. That’s a lot to try and get used to, it took me some time.”_

 _“You were stubborn,”_ Gavin teased him, letting out a sigh, _“I can’t believe we’re going to have another with us.”_

 _“Might be,”_ Michael corrected, _“We haven’t explained this yet, there’s no way to tell how he’s going to react to us. We did kind of lie to him, all of us. I’m not so convinced he’ll say yes.”_

 _“Ehh, I think he might.”_ Gavin took a more optimistic point of view, _“He said it himself, he doesn’t like people, he didn’t get on with anyone till we came around, right? We like him, he at least likes Ryan. I mean, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him just loving Ryan either, it’d be nice to see him a little less lonely.”_

 _“Yeah, I’d like to see that too, I feel bad he’s the odd one out most of the time,”_ Michael agreed, _“Maybe if the talk goes well tonight, and you know, take it slow, eventually tell him how we roll… I don’t want this to turn out bad. Even if he’s not into all of us, I’d still like to stay friends with the guy. I haven’t had a friend since I left Jersey, I mean, I have you guys but, you know, you’re the only one around my age. As great as Geoff, Jack, and Ryan are, they’ve got that gap between us.”_

 _“Yeah… kinda nice sometimes though.”_ Gavin said suggestively.

Michael laughed along at the implications, _“Oh yeah. Still thinking of Ryan?”_

 _“Thinking of his kisses,”_ Gavin gave a needy whine, _“Stupid, big, dumb mouth.”_

 _“He_ is _a great kisser.”_

_“Mm-hmm, and he’s big and strong.”_

_“I guess Ray’s the lucky one then.”_ Michael feigned envy.

_“Aw, love,” Gavin pouted at the false hurt in Michael’s voice, “Jealous little Jersey boy.”_

_“Stop talking about everyone else, then.”_

_“Sorry, I’m just excited-”_

Ray cut the radio off, it felt too wrong to be listening to any more. The sudden revelation was bit much to take in, especially with the guilt he now had churning in the pit of his stomach from eavesdropping.

So this was who Ryan had to talk to, Michael and Gavin, and also Geoff and Jack by the sound of it. They were the relationship, that’s why it was so complicated. Hell, he didn’t blame Ryan now for avoiding a straight answer, he wasn’t even sure how he’d approach that kind of a subject. Really it did explain some things though, no wonder they stayed together, they were closer than he thought they were.

Ray was, in a word, stunned. He wasn’t entirely sure how to take this, especially after the last few days. He quickly cupped some water in his hands and splashed his face with it, slapping his face for good measure so he could get his mind working again.

“Come on you fucking asshole, get it together,” Ray muttered to himself, still kind of freaking out, “What the fuck is going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was super awkward to write. I kind of based a lot of this dialogue based on some experiences of my own. I'm a sagittarius that's had a relationship with a virgo, so, seeing as that matched up with Ray and Ryan I went off of how things went in my time, things are very awkward in the communication department and there's a lot of being cautious.
> 
> Also I'm sorry if you got like notified or something when I was changing my psued in the comments, I just hdn't realized it was still using my other name and wanted to fix that.


	6. You are My Sunshine

 

_ “What about you Ray?” _

Ray’s eyes widened, coming into awareness that his name had just been called, “...What was that?”

_ “Do you fish?”  _ Geoff asked him, shedding light on the subject at hand. 

“Uh… no, no never have.” He answered quickly so he could return to his reclusive state. Ray found it hard to concentrate on the conversations going on. Not with what he learned earlier that day. He was too distracted by the fact that everyone he was in a call with were all keeping their secret from him. What really bothered him about it all was that they didn’t trust him enough to talk about it. That was just made worse that Ryan had confirmed feeling something more for him. Michael had even encouraged Ray to go for a confession without telling him that they already had a thing going on. It would have been appreciated at least to have a heads up, instead of telling him, hey, go flirt with my boyfriend. One of my boyfriends? Or was lover the better word? Ray wasn’t sure, he wasn’t entirely comfortable with it either way. 

He wasn’t comfortable speaking with Ryan about how he felt when he thought Ryan was in a relationship with just one person. Now he was with four, four people Ray had gotten comfortable enough with to call the best friends he’s ever had, until now anyways. Now he wasn’t sure how he felt about all of them. 

The conversation didn’t jump right into that topic, thankfully. They just talked like it was normal, like nothing even happened, but he knew. He knew they’d all had a long discussion about him all day. The only one staying as quiet as he was was Ryan. Occasionally he’d add in his opinion to something when prompted but otherwise he was keeping to himself. That was fine, it was kind of normal for Ryan to be quiet anyways and Ray didn’t want to say anything to him right now. He wasn’t spiteful, just unsure what to say.

Whenever Michael or Gavin spoke he’d try to tone out the conversation completely. He felt guilty for listening in on their conversation, even though it was about him. He didn’t have a problem with knowing that Michael and Gavin’s relationship was more intimate than he first realized, it was surprising but actually they seemed to be good together whenever one of them wasn’t harassing the other. The awkwardness came with knowing how they were viewing him and talking about him behind his back. Ray had a lot of uncertainty over how he felt in response, he’d never had to deal with two friends talking up his ass before.

_ “You okay Ray?”  _ Michael finally asked, sounding annoyed. Ray closed his eyes, he knew it was coming eventually he just wished he could milk his quiet a little longer. Now he had to think of some bullshit to get out of the conversation again. Ray sighed away from his radio, he didn’t know how he managed to do it, but Michael could just tell when he was upset and he wasn’t afraid to hound him on it till he wasn’t anymore.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

_ “You’ve been pretty quiet.”  _ Ryan chimed in. Ray grimaced, he was not ready to talk to Ryan right now, especially not about this.

“I’m just tired.” Ray brushed off their persistence.

_ “...Kay…”  _ Michael left it alone but Ray could tell this wasn’t the end of it, he was just sparing him from the rest of the group.

_ “Want to go to bed, Ray?”  _ Gavin asked suddenly. 

Truthfully, yes, he did. He wanted an escape, he wasn’t even sure why he went along with the group call in the first place but he couldn’t. If he left it would throw off red flags to Michael and Ryan, they could read him in a heartbeat.

“No, It’s fine, keep going. I’m listening.” That was a lie, they knew he wasn’t. 

_ “If you want to sleep, go ahead,”  _ Geoff assured him this time. Ray noticed he was approaching the subject more caring than he usually would. Geoff wasn’t one to give up on a conversation easily, if anyone tried to back out early he’s bring them right back in with something. He had a secured position of keeping the fire going when it came to talks,  _ “It’s not like you can’t talk to us whenever.” _

“No,” Ray answered, a little more serious in his delivery this time. As much as he wanted to leave, he knew exactly what would happen if he left the call before any of the others. They’d immediately start talking about him, and he didn’t want that to happen. Not tonight, he didn’t want them all thinking something was up with him again. All that would do is get Michael and Ryan calling him till they got an answer and right now, he didn’t have one. He wasn’t sure if he should just admit that he overheard the call or keep quiet till it all resolved itself, they were planning on telling him eventually anyways. But secrets just felt wrong and he didn’t know how to deal with this one yet, “It’s alright, I just don’t have anything to say right now.”

_ “Alright.”  _ Geoff moved on, returning to the conversation that was mostly between himself and Jack at this point.

Ray lay back on his bed, wrapping his sheets tighter around him. True to his word, he did his laundry the second he came back, washing everything in his sink and using some of his climbing rope as a clothesline on his deck. Unfortunately it didn’t leave him with much on himself and despite how hot it generally was, Ray was the type to wear a hoodie in pretty much any weather. 

He tuned in a little to the conversation, barely following it along as it shifted from fishing, to actors, to films, to music, to languages. Ray wasn’t sure when one topic ended and another began, he could just remember hearing little tidbits of information. Knowing what he did now, he could see why Geoff and Jack could be together, they could talk endlessly about random things and never get bored. That and Jack was never afraid to call Geoff out on his bullshit, out of all of them, Geoff only yielded to Jack. Ray wondered what it was like to be in a relationship with those two. When he thought about it, they were more like a mom and dad of the group. Even Ryan didn’t seem to quiet run on the same wavelength as them. Ray thought he got along pretty well with them, though he talked to them less than the others. 

_ “Hey Ray,”  _ Ray was again interrupted by his thoughts by Geoff,  _ “Do you know any other languages.” _

“Uh… Just some spanish… why?” He answered quickly, he wasn’t entirely fluent in spanish, all he really knew was some that his mom spoke and the class he had to take in high school.

_ “I caught a radio frequency the other day of some music station for like five minutes. I couldn’t understand it, I think it might have been spanish.”  _ Geoff told him.

_ “That would make the most sense,”  _ Jack agreed,  _ “This part of America can only comprehend two languages.” _

Ray smirked, shaking his head, it wasn’t entirely untrue, “Do you remember anything said or sung?”

_ “I caught this one line, they kept repeating it over and over again. Let’s see… it was, uh, ‘Yo no say man yawn ah’.” _

Ray snorted a laugh that quickly spiralled out of control. For just a moment his thoughts went to the wayside as he enjoyed how badly Geoff attempted to speak spanish.

_ “Alright, I can’t speak spanish, come on. Do you know it?”  _ Geoff feigned irritation, but it was pretty clear he was happy to get that kind of reaction.

Ray had to stop himself from laughing before he could put it all together in his head, “Yo no se mañana.”

_ “Yeah, that’s it!”  _ Geoff confirmed,  _ “What’s it mean?” _

“It’s like… I don’t know… tomorrow, like, I don’t know what tomorrow brings kind of thing,” Ray stared at the ceiling, thinking about the words, there was a familiarity to them, “I think I know that song…”

_ “Seriously?”  _ Gavin asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.

“...Yeah, I think my mom listens to that one all the time…,” Ray went over the lyrics in his head, more coming back to him as he remembered the tune, “Yo no se mañana...Yo no se mañana… Si estaremos juntos… si… se acaba el mundo. I think that’s right...”

_ “You should sing it Ray.”  _ Gavin suggested with a laugh.

Ray snorted, “No, I don’t feel like wailing into the radio, I’ll pass.”

_ “Well,it got you talking anyways,”  _ Gavin mused,  _ “Even if it was in a language none of us know.” _

Ray shook his head, he had to give him that, “Hijo de puta.”

_ “Whoa, that didn’t sound friendly.”  _ Gavin laughed back.

“I know a shit ton of curse words in spanish,” Ray admitted, “My mom is, uh, not shy when she’s angry.”

_ “Wait, what did you call me?”  _ Gavin asked, Ray’s face scrunched in confusion. Why did he sound so happy about this?

“I called you a son of a bitch, what else would I call you?” He joked, but honestly he wished he hadn’t called him that. There was no venom behind it to begin with, the circumstances were just playing with his head right now.

Gavin just laughed along with the rest of them,  _ “That’s top, you’ve got to tell me more some time.” _

Ray shook his head, what an idiot, “Yeah, great idea, arm you with the key to a quick death.”

_ “I’ll just have to keep you around if I ever use them then.”  _ Gavin reasoned with a particular note of fondness in his voice that Ray recognised from earlier. Ray sighed, he was a lovable idiot.

“Yeah, and I’ll tell them in spanish I don’t know you,” Ray retorted, “Don’t drag me into your fights. I can’t do shit. I can hop a fence and run away, I’ve been doing it since grade school,  that’s what I’m good at.”

Geoff and Ryan both got a particularly good laugh out of that. All of a sudden the call just had more life to it, more energy. They were all talking and joking and laughing again. It struck Ray pretty hard to realize he had this much of an impact on the conversation, on the whole group. When he was quiet, they all got quiet, knowing he wasn’t quite right. When he got loud, they got loud, and it felt right again. He started to wonder if he’d really reached that level of empathy with the group that his state would actually affect that of the others.

They certainly had an affect on him, he came to realize this as Gavin managed to keep him talking, despite wanting to clam up as he usually did. It was weird, Gavin more than any of the others, was the cause of him wanting to shut himself away. Every time Ray’s thoughts would take over, all he could remember would be the way Gavin and Michael talked about him earlier, but he also kept Ray talking. He wormed his way through the silent moments, openly encouraged Ray to bash his idiotic ideas. Ray could swear he was doing it on purpose, and he remembered what Michael had said about him. He  _ was _ smart, it was just hard to see most of the time. He was definitely sly about it, assuming he even knew that he was tricking Ray into conversing with the group. Ray wasn’t entirely convinced he was aware of how coaxing he was being. Not that Gavin was the type to just let things be anyways.

Talking helped though, it set Ray’s mind at ease providing a strong distraction. Instead of focusing on what was hidden he could focus on what was there in the moment; five guys that had changed his mind completely about people. It was a much more pleasant way of perceiving them right now anyways. 

He knew this wouldn’t last though. The second the call ended, he’d be left with his thoughts again and they’d remind him of what was going on. At least while he was talking he could think about their secret with more optimism. Choosing to see the good qualities in all of them instead and actually thinking about the potential that came with a relationship like theirs. To be so close and interact just like this all the time, unhindered and not giving a fuck what anyone else thought. It didn’t matter, not in this group, they had an understanding with each other that Ray had stumbled into unexpectedly. He liked it, liked feeling that he might fit in with their group like one of them, but he wasn’t sure how far he was willing to take that.

* * *

 

Once the call was finally over Ray was free to sleep. As it turned out, he was actually happy they’d got him talking on and on into the night. He was able to enjoy their company without fretting over what they may or may not be intending for him. Now he’d talked for so long all he was completely exhausted, the last of his energy zapped away. Sleep came almost immediately after he set his radio on it’s charger, letting him slip away without his brain reminding him of all the reasons to be stressed out.

His thoughts manifested themselves in his dreams instead, but in a way that he hadn’t expected them to. In the place of worries informing him of things he already knew or just the blackness of a neutral dreamstate, Ray ended up in his tower. It was like waking up immediately as he’d fallen asleep, he was in his bed, wrapped in his sheets and staring across the small space. Oddly enough, he could see the room clearly even though he never wore his glasses to bed. It was daytime but it was much brighter than it usually was, light pouring in through the many windows to the point it would have been blinding normally, but for some reason, his eyes were perfectly fine. He wished his eyes were this adaptable all the time, waking up wouldn’t be so hard.

Without any reason, he looked towards his kitchen area The back of a familiar figure stood there, dressed exactly as Ray remembered. It was Michael, leaning against the firefinder as he looked out the westside windows. From this angle, Ray could just barely see Michael’s neutral facial expression, his eyes partially hidden by the intense glare coming off of his glasses. It was hard to determine what time of day it was supposed to be with light coming from every side as if there were four suns on each side of the tower, it felt like it too. The whole place was hot, sweltering even.

Ray quickly tossed his sheets away but he felt no cooler. He swung his feet over the edge but didn’t stand, he couldn’t feel his feet touching the wooden floor below him. He was numb to everything, unable to feel even slight movements. His head instinctively went back up towards Michael, head now turned, looking right back at him. Ray felt uncomfortable under his gaze but he didn’t look away, it wasn’t like Michael’s expression read as angry just focused, focused on him. Somehow, that was more terrifying.

Ray couldn’t feel himself breathing but he could tell his pace had increased along with how hot the room felt. He was stuck in a position where he felt some things, yet couldn’t feel anything else. The beating of his heart echoed through him but he was more just aware of it then anything.

“What’s happening?” He suddenly asked, the thought process behind his question fueled by the obscure circumstances around him. 

“How the hell should I know,” Michael’s response was in a low voice, calm, and strangely Ray just knew the answer before he even spoke. Ray’s head hurt a little, fuzzy as he was trying to understand what was going on. He was mostly concerned with why Michael was there. He tried to avoid Michael’s gaze but just ended up staring back at him, unable to even blink. The heat in the room made him feel like he was choking. Michael just watched him as he began to lean forward a bit like a weight was crushing him, “Something’s wrong, why don’t you say it.”

Ray shook his head, “Wh-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

His own voice came out more like a rasp, breathing becoming shaky. Michael wasn’t fazed by his struggle, “You won’t say it over the radio, say it to me now, while I’m here with you.”

Ray was suddenly aware of what he meant, the trouble he was having with his feelings, he felt more heat rush to his face, “Why are you here?”

“To help.” Michael answered him bluntly.

The light in his tower suddenly became so bright his eyes couldn’t handle it without feeling pain. He watched, still transfixed on Michael’s figure as it was swallowed in light, “Why you?”

“Because you trust me,” Michael told him, Ray could barely see his outline bobbing along as he spoke, “You come to me when you’re stuck and need an escape.”

Ray squinted, now feeling dizzy, all that he felt came internally. All other physical attachments to the world around him were severed, “Am I stuck?”

Ray could just barely tell that Michael had taken a step closer to him before he felt himself being pushed down on his arms. His gaze finally broke away from Michael and instead he stared down at his bed while he was assaulted with the pressures building around him, after a moment he managed to close his eyes out of necessity.

“You’re trapping yourself.” Michael explained, “All you have to do is figure it out, then you’ll let it go. So talk about it.”

Ray huffed, feeling exhausted, without thinking the words just came out, “I’m afraid.”

“Of what?” He could hear Michael ask. The pressure around him did not give him mercy.

“Of you,” Ray whimpered out, arms shaking with no way of telling if he was actually using any force at all, “Of everyone.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” Ray grit his teeth.

“Why?” Michael asked again, voice unchanged. The inhuman tone made it all the more worse.

Ray let out a strained whine, “...Because you lied… and I’ve been lied to before…”

The sudden feeling of physical contact on his face brought about a new level of awareness to Ray. His body had feeling again and holding his face were two hands, surging a cool shock through him that dispelled the intense heat and made Ray feel light again as they brought his face back up. Slowly, Ray opened his eyes again to see Michael was holding him, staring at him now with a worried expression.

                                                                     

Michael gently brought his face closer, pressing his forehead again Ray as he still held Ray’s head in his hands. It felt nice, relaxing, “People lie, Ray.”

Ray winced, “It hurts though,” He admitted, “To be told you’re loved… and then…”

“You think we’re going to be like her?” Michael asked. Ray shut his eyes, enjoying the feeling of contact between them. He wanted this, wanted the care that came from such a light gesture.

“...No…,” Ray answered timidly, “...I don’t want to think like that.”

“Then don’t,” Michael told him, firmly, “Don’t think about it. You don’t know it’s going to be like that. And if it is, so what? You made it through once, you’ll make it through again.”

“...Michael…” Ray whispered, not sure what exactly he wanted to say in return.

“One person didn’t love you, why does that mean five others won't?” Michael reassured him, “You want this, don’t you? You want want someone holding you.”

“...I do…” Ray nodded.

“You want someone loving you.”

“I do…”

“You want to know what it’s like, to be with us.”

“... Yes…” Ray felt his hesitations disappear, even if just for a moment.

“Then give it a chance,” Michael encouraged, “You know it, it’s right here.”

Michael gave Ray’s head a light shake, “You know the lie isn’t there to hurt you. You just chose to see it that way.”

Ray nodded again, it was true, he was still too caught up in the past to clearly think about the present. Michel’s thumbs lightly nudge his face, a calming, appreciative gesture, “Then wake up, and move on.”

* * *

 

Day 19

* * *

 

 

Ray’s eyes opened to the familiar burry sight of his tower. His eyes weren't magically adjusted to the room any more, and he reached down to the floor where he’d sat his glasses down and hastily put them on. The tower was bright, midday sunlight pouring in, but it wasn’t blinding. There was heat to be sure of as well but it was the common heat of an day out in the Shoshone. Ray looked around to his kitchen area, no Michael, it was a dream. He let out a long sigh, that time things got way deeper than he ever thought his dreams would go but he felt… better. 

He tossed his covers off, uncomfortable and already covered in sweat. It wasn’t usual for him to sleep this long, then again, Ryan was usually the one to wake him up just so he would sleep the day away. No one had had disturbed him today, he stretched out against his bed, sore from being still for so long. He got up, stretching out some more as he moved his his kitchen, leaning against the firefinder like Michael had, and looked out his windows to the west, knowing Michael was somewhere in that direction right now. 

Ray rubbed at his face, he could still feel the ghostlike sensation of Michael’s forehead and hands on his face even though he knew it wasn’t real. All of that was just his own brain trying to talk some sense into him in the way that would help him the most. Through Michael’s affection and understanding. It made sense, now that he thought about it, he talked to Michael all the time when he needed advice and when he was most conflicted. These last few days, without really talking to Ryan, Michael had been the one he talked to about anything and everything. 

Ray remembered the words Michael had said in his dream, “You know the lie isn’t there to hurt you.”

He nodded to himself, he was making a big deal out of this, thinking it was about him. He hadn’t actually considered what it meant for them, hadn’t heard what was going on from their point of view. Ray had just assumed intentions behind what he overheard, in their own private conversations, and didn’t take the time to really consider how heavy all this might weigh on them.

It wasn’t long before his radio started buzzing. Ray had been in the process of getting dressed, pulling one of his newly washed t-shirts of the makeshift clothesline before he heard it going off. This time he felt better accepting a call, no matter who it was on the other end, now that he’d worked things out amongst himself.

“Yeah?” He picked it up and answered before the other person could even make themselves known.

_ “I need to talk to you.” _ It was Michael, the off tone in his voice stopped Ray’s optimistic train of thought. The first thought he had was, ‘Uh-oh’.

Ray shifted in place, “Yeah, sure, what about?”

He could hear Michael letting out a heavy breath,  _ “I need you to do something first, close you line and then sync your radio to my frequency. I don’t want this to get heard by anyone else, just in case.”  _

Ray raised an eyebrow, wondering what was going on. His heart started beating a little faster, suddenly very worried for Michael, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

_ “Just do what I asked. Talk to me when you’ve done it.” _ Michael told him, not with any force behind his voice. Actually, he sounded very similar to how he did in Ray’s dream.

Ray submitted to the request, closing his line, he even shut off his radio as an extra precautionary measure though he wasn’t sure if that actually did anything. The radio’s often confused him. When he turned it back on, he changed the frequency to, 8, Michael’s specific frequency, and reopened his line, “Okay, my line’s open to yours.”

_ “Okay,”  _ Michael approved, taking a minute to gather himself,  _ “Look, I don’t think anyone else heard anything, I don’t think anyone was awake at the time.” _

Ray shrugged, “What? Heard what?”

_ “I was up like really early this morning, like really fucking early. I thought I heard something outside of my tower, that got me on edge like, all fucking night, so there was no sleeping for me,” _ Michael continued, as if Ray hadn’t said a thing, he sounded like he was rambling,  _ “But then I realized, while I’m checking shit out from my deck, that I left my radio on all night, and I started hearing things, and usually I just turn off my radio so I don’t hear someone else shit, but I couldn’t figure out who was talking or if it was directed at me.” _

Ray shook his head slowly, “What, so you got scared by the radio?”

_ “Well, it was you on the other end,”  _ Michael finally spat out. Ray stopped, he hadn’t made any call to Michael last night,  _ “I’m not sure what was going on but you were having this, like, one sided conversation.” _

Ray thought back to his dream and panicked a little, but there was no way that could have actually been real, “I didn’t call you last night.”

_ “No, you just let your radio open to the group call.”  _ Michael explained.

“Goddamn it” Ray cursed himself.

_ “No, it’s cool man, I leave mine on sometimes. It just slips your mind sometimes,”  _ Michael reassured him,  _ “I just ended up leaving mine on last night and catching you talking and… Kinda wondering what was going on.” _

“I went to sleep right after the call though,” Ray told him, “I wasn’t talking to anyone.”

_ “Yeah, I know, there wasn’t anyone else talking back to you. I’m pretty sure you were sleep talking,”  _ Ray froze up, worried where this conversation was going to go now and how much Michael had actually heard,  _ “I just wanted to check on you because you sounded pretty stressed out, like, you sounded in pain, and you said my name at one point. I’m worried dude, did you have a dream where I was like beating the shit out of you or something?” _

“...No…” Ray answered, hesitantly.

_ “It sounded like a goddamn interrogation.” _

‘Well… that’s not entirely off’, Ray thought to himself, he debated denying it completely but the guilt crept back to him. Michael was admitting his mistake of eavesdropping, and even telling him it wasn’t an issue as he was more concerned by what what he’d actually heard. He couldn’t keep his mouth shut and lie to him again. Lying was already causing him problems, he didn’t need to add anymore, “I... Uh, I did have a dream last night, that you were in... I really hope that I don't usually sleep talk or life is going to get a whole hell of a lot harder."

Michael paused for a moment,  _ “So… uh… what was it about?” _

Ray knew by the tone in his voice what he meant by that. There was enough hesitation and just the right lilt of implication that really meant, ‘Did you have a wet dream about me too?’

“You were in my tower,” Ray told him, “Talking to me. Telling me to get my shit together. That’s pretty much it.”

_ “Well, that sounds like me,”  _ Michael admitted, though there was a note of disappointment in his reply.

"Yeah, you basically told me I should quit being an asshole to everyone.” Ray laughed at his oversimplification of the dream.

Michael laughed along as well,  _ “Yeah? What else did I say, keep it going, I want to know how accurate dream me is.” _

“Don’t make me embarrass myself anymore then I have to.” Ray begged.

_ “Are you kidding me? If I’m going to be in your dreams it better be good.”  _ Michael pumped up his own ego.

“Just be grateful it wasn’t a wet dream.” Ray told him, amused by Michael’s stubbornness to keep the conversation going in this direction.

_ “Oh, so Ryan gets the wet dreams but I don’t?”  _ Michael complained, trying to keep his serious act up and failing miserably.

“Jealous Jersey boy.” The words came out before Ray realized where they’d come from. He froze, realizing he’d just quoted Gavin from the call he’d overheard and by the way Michael slowly stopped laughing, it was clear he was suspecting something was off as well. They were both quiet for a minute and Ray clasped his hand over his mouth, unable to physically take the words back. He tried uselessly to think of something to say that would distract Michael from what he’d said but he couldn’t think of anything in his panic. Eventually, Michael interrupted the silence with a half-choked and confused laugh.

_ “Ray,” _ Michael’s voice was low, the tone that always came up when Ray was afraid he’d said something to piss him off. Ray felt his chest tighten in fear, _ “Ray, what did you mean by that?” _

“Nothing.” Ray quickly dismissed, hoping he could just bury that part of the conversation. He didn’t want to make Michael angry, especially not with the knowledge that he’d overheard.

_ “It’s not nothing, tell me.” _ Michael argued, wanting a real answer.

“No, really it’s nothing.” Ray tried again in vain, getting quiet as he tried to find some way of escaping this, but the panic in his voice betrayed him.

_ “Ray, why are you lying?”  _ Michael continued to push, Ray just kept his mouth shut, afraid anything more might push Michael a little too far. He was stuck, unable to tell the truth or deny anything. Michael didn’t appreciate his silence either, though,  _ “Ray just talk to me.” _

“I- … no.”

_ “... What? Why not, Ray?”  _ Michael’s voice got quicker, more exasperated. Scared he might really mess things up and scared of Michael really hating him he started talking, just wanting this to stop before it got bad.

“I just… You’re quiet, I didn’t mean to- I don’t want to talk right now, I don’t want to make you mad.” Ray rambled out quickly. 

He heard Michael trip over his next sentence. The next time he tried to speak, Ray could hear the nervousness and concern that had been hidden before, _ “.... What?” _

“Your voice gets quiet when you’re upset about something, right before you start yelling. Like right now, I don’t want to make you even more mad, can we just stop?” Ray asked timidly.

_ “... I… Ray I’m not mad, I’m not mad at you.” _ Michael wavered.

“... You’re not?”

_ “No,”  _ Michael denied incredulously,  _ “If I were mad you’d hear me yelling miles away.”  _

“... But I said something that-”

_ “Yeah, Ray, I’m not mad about that,”  _ Michael got quiet, now Ray wasn’t sure how to take that anymore,  _ “… I’m nervous.” _

“... Nervous?” Ray questioned.

_ “What you said… Did you... did you hear that from Gavin?” _ Michael suddenly sounded very timid, it was very unlike him.

Ray sucked in a shaky breath, “...Yeah…”

The quiet shuffling on Michael’s end made Ray uneasy,  _ “How… uh… How’d you hear that nickname?” _

Ray stayed quiet, trying to think of an answer that didn’t sound like he’d been lying. Michael didn’t wait that long though,  _ “You overheard me and Gavin the other day… didn’t you? When we were…” _

Ray let out a heavy sigh, “...Yeah… I didn’t mean to-”

_ “So you heard…”  _ Michael trailed off but Ray knew what he was trying to say.

“Yeah… I know.”

_ “...Fuck… Look, I can explain this, all of this,” _ Michael’s timid approach immediately shifted to fast and uneasy,  _ “But you gotta keep this between us man.” _

“...What?” Ray drew back, the sudden panic from Michael had him a little freaked out now.

_ “I just need you to be cool about this okay? It’s- It’s a big deal to us that it just stays between us, that no one knows, okay, so I just need you to keep quiet about all of this when I tell you.” _ Michael told him, trying to get an agreement out of him.

“...I will… What is- Why are you freaking out?” Ray questioned, he had expected a different reaction than this.

_ “Because I don’t want you to tell the station about what’s going on. They’ll fire us.”  _ Michael’s voice started raising as he tried to make the position he was in clear.

“Why the hell would I tell anyone then? That’s a dick move!” Ray exclaimed, getting a little heated at Michael thinking he was that much of a shithead. Michael finally backed down from his barrage of long-winded covers. Ray gained a little more footing on the conversation, suddenly much more capable knowing that Michel was more scared then he was at the moment, “And I’m just as guilty anyways.”

_ “So… we’re good?”  _ Michael approached the topic lightly.

“If you forgive me for eavesdropping and trying to cover it up.” Ray bargained.

_ “Ray, I don’t care about that- Well I do, right now, there was some stuff you weren’t supposed to know about. How much did you hear exactly?” _

Ray let out a sigh, he moved over towards his bed and plopped down, he wasn’t going to be moving any time soon, “So you and Gavin…”

He heard Michael let out a sudden laugh,  _ “...Uh-huh.” _

“You have a thing for British guys that make bird noises and toss their radios when there’s a fly in their tower or was that just a spur of the moment thing?” Ray joked to diffuse the tension, feeling a little giddy himself that the worst was over with now.

Michael seemed to appreciate it though, chuckling at his joke,  _ “No, no, that just… it just kind of happened.” _

Ray nodded along, “Is it a good relationship anyways?”

Michael let out a breathless sigh,  _ “Well, don’t tell him anything or it’s going to go straight to his head.” _

“Oh, no, I learned to always treat Gavin like an asshole a week ago.” Ray assured him.

_ “It’s great,”  _ Michael told him,  _ “I don’t even know why, we give each other so much shit all the time but… Yeah, it’s good, very good.” _

The sincerity in his voice made Ray smile. The genuine fondness there spoke more than the few words Michael had to lend. He was so quickly calmed just by talking about his relationship as well, it was hopeful, and Ray’s thoughts went on to the bigger scale of things and even his own feelings.

“So...,” Ray asked, a little hesitant to even ask, “Ryan’s a good kisser?”

_ “...Oh… You heard that too?”  _ Michael sounded a little nervous again.

Ray bit his lip, “I know you’re all- all of you, Geoff, Jack, and Ryan too. I know.”

_ “...This is awkward…”  _ Michael tensed,  _ “We were going to tell you, you know, slowly. Since you were kinda getting involved.” _

“I know, and I feel like an ass for being, well, an ass yesterday, last night. After I heard about it I just kind of… didn’t know how to feel about it.” He admitted.

_ “It’s a lot to take in.” _

“I think that’s an understatement.”

Michael made a small noise in agreeance before his voice made it clear that something had just occurred to him,  _ “Wait, you didn’t hear what I said about you, did you?” _

Ray burst out laughing so quickly he nearly choked on his own spit as he remembered exactly what he was talking about. Before it had made him uncomfortable, yet somehow now, actually talking it out made the topic hilarious, “Just keep your eyes above the waist when we go swimming, alright.”

_ “Goddammit!”  _ Michael exclaimed in his own embarrassment.

“I guess it’s flattering though, no one’s ever checked out my ass before,” Ray decided to look at it optimistically given how well the discussion was going, “Didn’t know you felt that way.”

_ “I was looking into future prospects of you being with us.”  _ Michael said in his defense.

“I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure “future prospects” aren't always ass shaped.” He sassed.

_ “I’m not talking about your ass. It’s nice, but it’s not exactly your biggest highlight.”  _ Michael quickly shot down.

“Wow, thanks. You really know how to make a guy feel good.” 

_ “I’m serious. When you told me and Ryan that you were interested we had to talk about that, talk about you being a part of us,”  _ Michael explained,  _ “I mean most of yesterday was just all of us talking about what to do. And… yeah… we figured, why not give you a shot if you’re into it. So we were going to see if you would be, but like, we weren’t going to drop that bomb on you for a long ass time.” _

“No need for that anymore, I was too busy being an idiot thinking you were all conspiring against me.”

Michael chuckled,  _ “Not conspiring, just trying to figure out how to ask you for a date.” _

Ray’s face heated up, Michael’s voice had dipped low like it had when he was talking suggestively to Gavin. A nervous chill ran up his spine, “I...uh…”

_ “You don’t need to answer that,”  _ Michael told him,  _ “We were all going to ask you together, after you knew.” _

Ray remembered the talk he’d had with Michael in his dream. The truth he’d come to realize in his sleep started to make him rethink any doubts that crossed his mind now, “I guess that might come sooner than expected.”

_ “I guess so.”  _ He agreed.

“How does that conversation even go?” Ray asked, genuinely curious.

Michael gave a sharp laugh,  _ “I’ve only been in your position when it comes to all that, I’m the last one they brought in,”  _ He explained,  _ “But from that experience… it was a lot of Geoff running the conversation in circles and then Gavin finally just popped the question. It’s not exactly a smooth talk.” _

Ray nodded, why would it be? It’s not the kind of thing you would expect the majority of people to say yes to. He thought back to Ryan, how nervous he was to deal with Ray’s confession. They needed to talk, both of them had been avoiding each other for long enough, “I need to call Ryan.”

* * *

 

Michael made no argument to Ray’s decision to have a talk with Ryan. Actually, he encouraged it, saying it was better to approach the topic one member at a time than in a group anyways. Before Ray was let go, they came to an agreement to keep Ray’s knowledge about the group a secret for now, letting Ray talk with each of them over time. This way, they could refrain from panicking everyone at once. Plus it just seemed like it’d be hard to communicate to everyone at once exactly what was going on.

Ray took a bit of time to get himself in order before he contacted Ryan, he went through a few tasks as he ran what he was going to say over in his head. After taking in his laundry, making up his bed, and cleaning everything in his tower he realized he’d run out of legitimate excuses for delaying the call. At least it made him feel better though, being organized helped him think things through methodically.

When he finally did man up and connect to Ryan’s signal, he was determined to say what needed to be said and not stay silent, or worse, try to worm out of it.

“Hey.” Ray began the call but on the other end he heard the sound of clattering. Whatever it was that Ryan was doing it was loud enough to muffle how quietly Ray had spoken, “RYAN!”

_ “NAH God!”  _ Ryan exclaimed, startled, something dropped on his end. Ray frowned, what a way to start a conversation,  _ “Yes? What? Hello?” _

“Sorry.” Ray gave an apologetic laugh.

_ “Ray! No, it’s fine,”  _ Ryan sounded elated. He gave a grunt, the same kind of sound briefly made itself known again before the call was free of loud banging,  _ “All good, just wasn’t expecting that.” _

“Am I interrupting something?”

_ “Not really, I’m trying to be handy...not really working out so well,”  _ Ryan admitted,  _ “But fuck it, I’ll deal with it later. What’s up? It feels like it’s been awhile since we last talked.” _

“Yeah, it’s been quiet without you in my ear,” Ray agreed, “Michael kept me company though.”

_ “So I’ve heard. He’s kept me updated on how you haven’t died yet, gold star by the way.” _

“Thanks, really appreciate it,” Ray huffed, he rubbed his face as he reminded himself about what he called for, “...Look, I need to talk to you.”

_ “Okay…,”  _ Ryan was cautious, he didn’t like the tone Ray was carrying at the moment,  _ “Should I be worried. Is this something bad?” _

“No,” Ray smirked, “At least I hope not. It’s going to really suck if that’s how this goes down though.”

_ “Well, I’m intrigued.” _

Ray took a deep breath. Ryan was in such a good mood right now, and so was he really, despite the nervousness, if things went south right now it would certainly be a damper on the current mood, “So… I’ve had some time to think about things, and talk about things with Michael, and I’ve learned some things. Some about me, some about you, some about everyone.” He bit his lip, thinking back on the past few days, the hurt, the reconcile. The days were an emotional rollercoaster that he was ready to get off now.

“I know you don’t trust me. And you say anything, just let me finish,” Ray had to stop Ryan from objecting, he listened, respecting that Ray had the floor now, “It’s fine, you know, why should you? You haven’t known me long enough to. I mean, I was hurt about it at first when I realized it but I wasn’t thinking about anyone else but me while I was an absolute asshole to everyone and being a little bitch. But when I got through that, I knew for sure that I really want that, I really want you to trust me.”

_ “I do thou-” _

“No, you don’t,” Ray cut him off, “I haven’t earned it. Not real trust. And I want to earn it, I want you to not be afraid to tell me something that’s bothering you, or to tell me why you’re acting strange, and I want you to trust me not to judge you because you’re in a relationship with the men you live with.”

That kept Ryan eerily quiet, no doubt stunned by the sudden revelation.

“I know about you guys, and I wish I hadn’t heard it on accident, I wish you would have told me yourself. And yeah, that hit pretty hard, but it tells me how little we know each other. That you guys think you have to be afraid of getting fired, or being hit with really harsh rejection and I’m a fucking selfish dickhead that’s caught up thinking one lie is the end,” Ray explained, feeling more than a little vulnerable at the moment but he couldn’t stop now, “So… I’m stuck here trying to come up with a solution. Because I don’t think we’re ready for the whole big polygamy thing but I also love the fuck out of you so here’s what I got.”

Ray let out a deep breath, here goes nothing, “Ryan Haywood, you’re the first voice I heard after coming out here, you were the first to change my mind about people, and you’re the first person I’ve wanted to really know for the longest goddamn time. So I’m going to do the sensible thing, and ask you in the only way I can think of to make you love and hate me simultaneously, with a pun. Haywood you go out with me?”

There was a moment of thick silence and Ray let it sink in. He held his breath, which threatened to turn into laughter at his own awful sense of humor. The combination of fear and excitement churned uncomfortably inside him as he waited for Ryan’s response. Of course when it came, he lost control of everything.

_ “...Did you just use my name to ask me out?” _

Ray started snickering into a fit. It certainly relieved the tension of the situation for him, “...Yes…” He said, trying really hard to not start loudly laughing.

Ryan on the other hand started chuckling without a care,  _ “You fucking asshole.” _

They both lost it, starting to really laugh at just how stupid they were. Ray loved it though, Ryan was laughing. He loved to hear that deep laugh echoing through his radio. He didn’t think there was a time he’d ever loved being called an asshole as much as he did in that moment.

_ “You better be fucking serious about that because I’m saying yes!”  _ Ryan told him sternly in between laughs.

“Yes!” Ray cheered, “I knew you couldn’t resist my awful jokes.”

_ “I’m not kidding, you better mean it after that awful punchline. After all that buildup and emotion, you better fucking mean that shit!”  _ Ryan warned him again.

“I do,” Ray’s voice was pitifully strained and choked through his snickering, “I told you you’d love and hate me at the same time.”

Ray could hear a thumping noise from Ryan’s end, either he brought his hand down on something or he was banging his head against a surface in shame. He took in a long breath just to let out a relieved sigh,  _ “Goddammit, why do I want you?” _

Ray felt a sharp pang strike through his heart at that. All the worry and trepidation all gone at once. The tension was finally gone, bringing back how things were supposed to be. Just them, talking, making stupid jokes, but with a little more meaning to it now.

_ “But… okay, so you know about me and everyone else, then. You sure you’re okay with this?”  _ Ryan asked, making sure that this was really happening.

“Yeah,” Ray confirmed, “Just, I need to get to know everyone else a little better before I commit to everyone. Let’s just start with us first.” 

_ “...Alright,”  _ Ryan conceded, the tone of his voice did a poor job concealing his excitement,  _ “... Goddamn it, I wish you were here.” _

“Me too,” Ray huffed a laugh at Ryan’s childish want, a feeling of limitless happiness coursed through him. It left a few thoughts running through his head. Feeling cocky now, he decided to voice his thoughts, “What would you do if I was there?”

He waited for the answer impatiently. Ryan hummed to himself as he thought of the scenario. His final decision came with a heavy note of bashfulness,  _ “I would pick you up… and I’d hold you.” _

“Damn, you go romcom style.” Ray joked but he meant it more in an endearing way.

Ryan nervously laughed,  _ “What about you?” _

Ray smiled wide, “I’d kiss the shit out of you, apparently you’re good at that.”

_ “Jesus christ, where did you hear that?” _

“Two reliable sources,” Ray answered, “I get the feeling you know them well, like in the biblical sense.”

_ “Oh god, don’t say it like that,”  _ Ryan begged,  _ “I’ll take it though, I’ll gladly make out with you.” _

“Put that on your list then.” Ray told him.

_ “What list?” _

“This list of things to do when you finally get out of here. You can file me under donuts.” Ray told him smugly.

_ “No, no, no, donuts can wait. You’re at least number three on the list.” _ Ryan reasoned.

“Oh, okay,” Ray raised his voice, pretending to be insulted, “Wow Ryan, good to know you’ve got your priorities straight.”

_ “I’m kidding,”  _ Ryan admitted, his tone shifted from amusement to a more serious tone,  _ “You don’t know how happy I am right now. I’ve been trying to think up a way to ask you for a date that wouldn’t be weird and then all of sudden… you surprise me.” _

“I’m surprised you’re not a little upset about any of this.” Ray told him honestly.

_ “What? Why would any of this be upsetting?” _

“Because I kind of overheard the whole thing about your relationship to everyone else, and I acted like an ass to you a bit, and I asked you out with a fucking pun.” Ray listed off only a few reasons.

_ “So? I’m just glad that I didn’t have to be the one to explain all of this to you. I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you about all this and you already know, and you took the damn leap,”  _ Ryan was more than a little ecstatic. He let out a few laughs, the giddy kind, just before he let out another long, content, sigh, “Goddamn you beautiful boy.”

Ray’s heart swelled at the compliment. Something in Ryan’s tone told him just how much he’d wanted to say that outloud, how long he’d been holding those words in. He shook his head, “You’ve never actually seen me.”

_ “I don’t need to,”  _ Ryan dismissed the notion as if it were the most pointless thing in the world,  _ “I don’t care what you look like, you’re beautiful.” _

Ray scoffed, face flushing red, “I hope you keep thinking that way after we actually meet.”

_ “Keep making those bad puns and that won’t be a problem.” _

* * *

 

_ “So when were you thinking of telling the others you know?”  _ Ryan asked, their conversation had stretched on well into the night and still Ryan would return to the topic of the others. Understandably trying to gauge the likelihood of Ray getting along with everyone.

“I don’t know,” Ray was honest, letting his head rest back on the arm he placed behind his head, “I have to know them better.”

_ “But you felt comfortable telling Michael?” _

“That was different, I let something slip and then I felt super guilty for hiding stuff from him.”

_ “Do you think you and Michael could be alright?”  _ Ryan asked curiously.

Ray shrugged to himself, “Yeah, maybe, we get along now. Could get a little more serious later, I guess, right now I don’t really know if I feel like that. This is kind of knew to me… I’m use to my relationships being with one person, and I’m usually faithful to a fault I think.”

Ryan hummed along, “It’s a little weird at first. It takes awhile to feel okay with it.”

“It’s kinda uncomfortable.”

_ “I didn’t like it at first either. It’s hard to get past the feeling that you’re cheating one of them with another. That and Gavin was annoying.” _

Ray laughed at that, “I can see why that would make things harder.”

_ “I will admit he grows on you, very slowly, but he does. Like a fungus sucking the life out of you.” _

Ray shook his head, “You know what, Rye-bread, I was worried we might not be ready for this but I was wrong. We’re perfect for each other based on bad jokes alone.”

_ “Oh yeah?”  _

“Yeah…”

_ “I’m glad…”  _ Ryan was sincere, Ray could just imagine him smiling, sweetly. His eyes drifted to his shitty drawing hanging above his bed. He wished he had an idea of what Ryan really looked like, so he could have a clear picture of how he might be acting right now. 

                                                                                                

His thoughts were interrupted when Ryan slyly approached a new topic,  _ “So, I was thinking..” _

“Dangerous, Ryan.”

_ “Shush, I’m being serious.” _

“Alright.”

_ “I was thinking, since we’re technically dating now,”  _ Ryan continued, “ _ Maybe me and you could go out sometime.” _

Ray’s heart actually fluttered at the thought, but if memory served, a date was far down the waiting list, even so, “...Yeah, I’d like that. What day did you want to put on the calendar, my September is pretty clear right now.”

_ “I was thinking right now actually, if you’re not preoccupied.”  _ Ryan proposed, Ray had to stop himself from laughing at how smooth he tried to sound.

“Gee, I dunno Ryan, my schedule it pretty packed right now, I’ve got to fill up my ass-sitting quota.”

_ “I think you can take a break, boss man doesn’t have to know.” _ Ray smiled at Ryan’s attempt at roleplay.

“Well, when you put it that way. Where should we go then? Lots of options you know, woods, woods, and more woods. You’re going to have to excuse me for being late, you’re miles away and there isn’t exactly a bus route to your part of town.” Ray joked, amused they were even having this conversation.

_ “I have a different plan, come out on the deck for a minute.” _

Ray furrowed his brow, “Why…?”

_ “Just come out.” _

Ray rolled his eyes but complied, hopping up from his bed. He glanced over at Ryan’s tower briefly, wondering what he was up to. He grabbed his spyglass, just in case. As he came around towards Ryan’s side of his deck, he pulled up his spyglass, taking a look at the tower in the distance. Just against the lit windows he could see Ryan’s silhouette. It was hard to make out any specific details with it being so dark.

_ “So… come here often?”  _ Ryan chimed in flirtatiously. 

It took Ray a minute to fully register the meaning, “I should have gotten that joke a lot quicker.”

Ryan’s laugh carried through the radio, so proud of himself.

Ray leaned against the railing, rubbing his face and shaking his head, “Wow, I had no idea we’ve been going out for so long.”

_ “Well, this time it’s been sanctioned. All those other times were just scandalous.”  _

“Yeah, you fucking sleazebag. Quit making me out to be a slut.” Ray joked, “Better act straight, I’m not going to be anyone’s baby momma.”

_ “I’m pretty sure that’s impossible for a multitude of reasons.”  _

“Want to find out, papi?” The words came out before Ray could stop himself, “...Okay, no, that just, that was stupid.”

_ “I don’t know about that,”  _ Ryan lingered on the words,  _ “That sounds like a plan.” _

Ray backpedaled fast, “Woah, slow down, first date remember.”

_ “You’re the one that offered,”  _ Ryan reminded him, voice riddled with his own brand of satisfaction that made Ray feel anxious,  _ “No rush though. Mami.” _

A shiver ran up Ray’s spine at the tit for tat nickname. It brought a big smile to his face, “Great, last thing I need is another nickname.”

_ “Don’t worry, you’ll still be my Sunshine, my only Sunshine.”  _ Ryan assured in a sing song voice.

“Oh no, no singing.”

_ “YOU MAKE ME HAPPY!! WHEN SKIES ARE GREY!!” _

“Goddammit!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn this one was hard to write. I rewrote everything like three times trying to figure out how to get this to work. Finally, the hard part is over.


	7. Home Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, let me just say that I'm so sorry that this took so long. I got a summer job and it got really demanding of me for a long time, mostly night shifts on my own so by the time I got home writing was getting low on the priorities list. But I just turned in my notice to get ready for school so I should get more time to write very soon. Also this chapter will be the end of all the filler and meet and greet type chapters, from this point on I know exactly where the story is going and where the focus will be for every chapter.   
> I also want to thank all of you that are sticking around for the story and everyone who comments, I always love reading your feedback and what you like or don't like about the story and again, I'm sorry for those of you who've had to wait so long for this next chapter. But I also have a question for you guys as well, I have other stories I have partially written and plan write and I'm curious what you guys might like me to write after or even while I'm writing this one, one story is actually a sequel to this but the others are more survival driven stories all of which inspired by games or movies so if you'd like, I'd appreciate knowing what you guys think. To summarize and give an idea on the plots I'm thinking of, I'll just list their inspirations you don't have to respond or anything, I'm more so just curious what you might think, the sequel to Waiting for September will be inspired by the game The Long Dark, then there's also stories based around GTA V, Subnautica, Stardew Valley, Inside, or Uncharted. Let me know if you like and otherwise I'll shut up now and give you guys the next chapter! XD

 

* * *

Day 21

* * *

 

 

_ “So wait, you haven’t been washing yourself since you got out here?”  _ Ryan questioned, it was a conversation Ray had been pushed into having as he tried to explain to Ryan why he needed to leave his tower to go to the creek down the path. 

“I used the sink,” Ray defended, “Can’t really clean that much though.”

_ “Wow, I didn’t think you were that messy.”  _

“I’m not!” Ray told the radio he’d perched on a rock by the creek as he took his shirt off, “I hate being messy, look, I didn’t grow up needing to know these things. I never went camping. I already got shit from Michael, don’t give me shit about it too.”

_ “Michael knew about this too? Why does Michael get to find out everything first?”  _ Ryan exclaimed.

“Because it wasn’t awkward to talk to him.” Ray told him honestly. 

_ “You could have still talked to me. I just thought you needed some space, you sounded pissed every time you were in the call.” _

“... I kinda was…” Ray admitted, “Just a little.”

_ “So your answer was to avoid me?”  _ Ryan asked with a good natured laugh.

“Ah! Fuck that’s cold!” Ray exclaimed first as he stepped into the water, he took Michael’s advice about sacrificing a pair of boxers for swim shorts, the creek was too shallow anyways. He shivered as his body took it’s sweet ss time adjusting before he could respond to Ryan he was now chuckling, almost evilly, at his misery, “Y-yeah, well, that kind of reaction has worked out well so far in life.”

_ “You’re so different from Michael and Gavin,”  _ Ryan noted, Ray didn’t know what to say as a response to that,  _ “Don’t get me wrong though, I think it’s interesting, I didn’t quite understand how you dealt with being upset at first. It’s like you keep quiet until you can talk about it reasonably and if you can’t you just burst out saying anything. Actually, you’re kind of like Michael and Gavin combined when it comes to this.” _

“Okay…” Ray just went along with it as he started cupping water and pouring it over himself, watching the dirt fade from his arms.

_ “Michael just shouts and shouts and shouts if he’s really upset about something, like really upset, and he’s normally not as angry s he seems but damn does he do anger well. He will shout you into admitting defeat because he will fight his point into the goddamn ground.” _

“Yeah, sounds like Jersey.” Ray nodded, remembering a few choice encounters with New Jerseyans.

_ “Gavin just complains for a while until he forgets what he’s saying and then he shuts up, either that or he gets scared and then won’t talk for like three weeks.”  _

Ray smirked, he didn’t really know Gavin too well but by his spastic nature seemed fitting for that response, “And somehow I’m a combination of them?”

_ “You either stay quiet or you shout.” _

“Ah,” Ray gave a quick nod, confirming he understood it now, “Alright, sure. So, what? You got the best of both worlds on the anger train?”

_ “I guess so.” _

“Who knew the best of Jersey and England was New York.” Ray mulled over before he splashed his face. There was a quiet pause for a moment and Ray continued his new daily ritual. Silent pauses weren’t uncommon in their way of communication, it was often difficult to keep a conversation going when talking about ones day tended to remain the same. This kind of pause though, was one of thought. Ray couldn’t describe it, there wasn’t exactly a feature to it that could identify it as a thoughtful pause it just was. There was something to it in the quiet that he’d just begun to identify after a while.

When Ryan next spoke  his voice seemed to drift off to a sadder note,  _ “What are you going to do when September comes anyways? Go back to New York?” _

Ray frowned, he hadn’t really thought about that part. He supposed he’d have to, at some point anyways. His mom certainly expected him back, so he couldn’t exactly just stay with anyone, not without an explanation. His stomach sunk a little as he remembered home, as much as he hated most of the city there was a part of it that still resonated a sort of fondness within him and he did miss his family. It was weird to be so far apart from them after having lived so closely all his life. A lot of his time talking with the others out in the forest distracted him for the most part from thinking of them but whenever he did let his mind wander to the topic he felt homesick. But at the same time he couldn’t exactly just leave the relationship he had going on right? Ray let out a quiet groan, not wanting to think about something so serious right now. He really didn’t want to think about how he was going to explain to his family what went on at his summer job, “...I don’t know…”

_ “Sorry, that was kind of out of nowhere I guess. Too heavy.”  _ Ryan apologized.

“...No… I just… I have no idea.” Ray admitted, he was at a loss, truly. He hadn’t given that any proper consideration and he knew he should have and would need to eventually, “I mean… I’ve got to see my family… they’ll be wondering what happened to me if I don’t come back after the summer… But I-I don’t know. Where would I even live if I don’t go back?”

_ “Uh, well, you could live with us if you came with us,”  _ Ryan offered, he hesitated though,  _ “... But you don’t have to, you know. You’d be surprised how well long distance can work out.” _

That was a reassuring point anyways, “I guess so… it can definitely start a relationship pretty well.”

_ “Yeah, it’s pretty quick too,”  _ Ryan added,  _ “I guess it’s because this kind of relationship relies on communication.” _

Ray hummed in agreement, “... But it can’t just be communication forever.”

Ryan paused at Ray’s remark. It told Ray enough even if he wouldn’t say it, he bit his lip,  _ “... No one said it couldn’t be.” _

This time Ray fell quiet, trying to think of some kind of solution to that but nothing was really coming to mind, not at the moment. He cupped a handful of water and splashed himself in the face with it, letting that train of thought be washed away for the time being, “So where do you live after Summer?” 

Ray moved on and Ryan promptly seemed to take the hint seeming to welcome the change in conversation,  _ “All over really, we just choose a place and go there. We tend to go towards Texas a lot. We’ve got friends down there.” _

“Really? How do you guys keep up with anyone?” Ray asked, genuinely curious. He hadn’t even thought about them having other friends but it wouldn’t exactly make sense if they didn’t.

_ “Phones and skype calls mostly. It’s fine though, they’re usually busy anyways. You can meet them sometime if you like, not sure if you’re into making friends with other people's friends though, I know you’re pretty big against people.” _

“...Actually… I think I’d like that.” Ray almost agreed to Ryan’s observation but as time went on, he’d really taken a new liking to people. Even if it were just a small group so far. 

_ “Really? Mister I don’t like people?” _ Ryan teased.

“Believe me, I never thought I’d be saying that either but… I kind of miss people. A lot. I mean, not at this particular moment, I really don’t want someone walking up to me while I’m trying to take a bath in a fucking creek but in general their, uh, actually not all that bad,” Ray admitted, feeling better about himself, a little more open, “And if they’re friends with you guys they gotta be worth it right?”

_ “I think you’d like them.” _

“Do they like memes?”

_ “... I think they more tolerate them.” _

“Good enough.”

* * *

Day 22

* * *

 

“Soup.”

_ “Seriously?” _

“Dude you have no idea how much I miss soup out here.” Ray defended his craving, there were many things he missed and oddly enough one of those was a dish best served very hot. It wasn’t the heat to it he missed really, it was more the sensation of a pleasant liquid meal.

_ “Soup is easy though, hell I can get a ranger to pack that in your next supply box.” _

“Really?”

_ “Yeah.” _

“Fucking do it then, I’ve been craving that shit for so long.” Ray demanded, lifting his head up from the makeshift wooden pillow of a log lying in the shade of his tower to shout at his radio playfully. I was just a game they always played now, and it always started with someone having a craving. Right now the list of things they both wanted when they got out of there was growing at an alarming rate but then again eating freeze dried foods and peanut butter sandwiches really didn’t hit the spot. To make things worse, most of the vegetable options he was given went to Gunther who, at the moment, was enjoying his time outside. 

Ray had started spending more time outside whenever he went out to keep up with his hygiene and today he decided to give his pet some time out in the wild. Gunther was an odd turtle, despite the ability to seize freedom he consistently refused to do it. Ray began to wonder if he was loyal or just crazy but either way he was welcome to stick around.

_ “Alright fine, but we’re talking about what we can’t get out here. Soup is easy, you’ve got to think big. Like pizza.”  _ Ryan told him and instantly Ray realized how right he was.

“Oh god, pizza.” Ray was practically salivating at the thought of it.

_ “Yeah, see what I mean?”  _ Ryan sounded smug.

“Fuck yeah, I love pizza.” He agreed, suddenly every memory he had of pizza was now a fantasy.

_ “I miss that the most out here.” _

“Urgh, I want that shit so bad now. Why isn’t that in me right now?”

_ “Unobtainable yet so desirable.”  _ Ryan mused.

“Just like you.” Ray somewhat joked, “Fuck, why aren’t  _ you _ in me right now?”

“Whoa, slow down we’re talking about food. I’ll take the compliment though.”

“Mmm, pizza and Ryan,” Ray hummed, “That’s the first thing I want to have when I get out of here in September.”

_ “That can be arranged.” _

“Aw man… pizza though. I want some pizza so bad. Ever had New York’s pizza? That’s the best.” Ray asked.

_ “No, never been up that way,”  _ Ryan answered,  _ “Good to know there’s something you like about home after all.” _

Ray chuckled along with Ryan remark against his usual cynicism, “It’s the people I hated, not the pizza.”

_ “I guess that’s understandable for an introvert in a big city,”  _ He reasoned,  _ “...Do you miss it?” _

Ray thought on it for a minute, “...I guess, sometimes. A little. I miss my family,” He admitted, “I miss some of the things New York has but… Overall, not really. I don’t like how loud it is, I don’t like the people there, I don’t like how shitty the city is… but it’s also home, it’s where mom is and my sister, and my dad and I miss them. I even kind of miss my dad’s bar.”

_ “You’re dad has a bar?” _

“Mhm, I got some memories there, good and bad. Had to work there some.”

_ “What kind of memories? Is that why you don’t drink now?” _

“... I guess so actually,” Ray quietly relented, “I mean, I tried to drink something before too, and I hated how it tasted so I just put it down and never tried it again after that but… the way people act when they’re drunk… it really disgusted me. Just the really drunk off their ass assholes.”

Ryan shifted a little uneasily on his side,  _ “Do you think that might not be something you’re comfortable being around?” _

“Nah, it’s fine, really. I’m not playing bartender busboy anymore.” Ray assured him.

_ “I’m just curious because… well I mean you know how carried away Michael and Geoff can get with alcohol. Gavin and Jack are drinkers too.”  _ He elaborated further.

“Oh… right,” Ray felt the heat flush to his face as the topic shifted towards the relationship he still needed to work through. He didn’t know them all too well, and they really didn’t know him that much either. He supposed a toleration to their habits was important information to know, “I mean, it doesn’t really bother me if someone drinks. That’s on them, I just don’t want someone to try to beat me up or do anything to me, you know?”

_ “Yeah, I’m right there with you.”  _ Ryan agreed and it suddenly dawned on Ray, just a little point that seemed to get overlooked.

“Wait, do you drink Ryan?” Ray asked, feeling like they may have attempted to talk about the subject before but never got very far with it.

_ “Nope.”  _ He answered simply.

“You don’t?” Ray questioned further, “Why did I think you did?”

_ “I dunno, probably never said anything about it.” _

“Why don’t you?” Ray furthered the topic, genuinely curious now.

_ “I don’t like how it tastes either,”  _ Ryan admitted with a laugh,  _ “Beer’s like drinking pepperoni, wine tastes like I’m drinking windex, hard liquors tear my throat up, bad times all around. But I take everyone’s word that every drink is great, for them, just them, not me.” _

Ray couldn't stop the smile growing on his face, “I guess we do have some things in common afterall.”

_ “Who said we didn’t?”  _ Ryan got defensive. 

“No one, but it’s fine we kind of don’t. I’m glad you’re not completely like me, I like how different you are,” Ray told him, “You wouldn’t have been able to convince me to change anything if you were like me.”

_ “I never asked you to change.” _

“You asked me to talk.”

_ “That’s not change.” _

“It was for me,” Ray explained, “But I don’t want you to think that’s a bad thing, I like it this way. I like talking with you all, I wouldn’t be this happy if you didn’t make me talk.”

_ “Then I’m glad I made a difference for you,”  _ Ryan agreed,  _ “I’m glad we all are.” _

Ray nodded knowingly, it was good to talk about these things, good to be more open.

_ “But don’t change anything about yourself to try and fit in, we like the way you are, who you are. Part of the fun is figuring you out and figuring out where to go from there.”  _ Ryan told him. The words really being taken to heart by Ray, it reminded him of how much he still had to learn about the others as well.

“Ryan?

_ “Yeah?” _

“What are Geoff and Jack like?” He asked, hoping someone who knew better could maybe push him in the right direction. He was at a loss for those two, they were so much older than him and lived in an entirely different generation pretty much.

_ “You know them, you’ve talked to them.” _

“Not a whole lot, what are they into, is there something I should be talking about with them in particular?”

_ “No,”  _ Ryan huffed, amused,  _ “Talk about whatever you like with whoever you like.” _

Ray ran a hand through his hair, a little frustrated, “But I don’t know what to talk to them about, I just agree and disagree and joke with them. I don’t know how to keep up a conversation with them, not when I can’t even figure out what they’re talking about half the time.”

_ “Ray, you don’t need to make them like you.” _

“But how are we all supposed to be in a relationship if we don’t all feel the same?” Ray questioned.

_ “You don’t have to feel the same way towards the others that you do with me or Michael or even Gavin. I don’t feel exactly the same for one of them as I do for another,”  _ Ryan reassured,  _ “And they won’t fault you for it if you don’t feel that kind of relationship for them. They wouldn’t expect you to.” _

“...No?”

_ “No, not at all. Hell Jack doesn’t feel any like deep desires for anyone other than Geoff, the whole relationship used to just be those two,”  _ He explained,  _ “Geoff’s more the polygamist, he’s the one that brought me into it, it wasn’t really supposed to be any super romantic thing between us either, I’m not saying I don’t love him, I do, but it’s different. I love Jack too, but it’s different, it’s more affectionate love.” _

Ray quirked an eyebrow, this was news to him, “So you don’t… wait… so, do you sleep with each other.”

_ “... I mean… yes. I’ve slept with them all, it’s a group thing whenever Jack’s involved, there’s never any one on one, we’re just not like that but I mean, Geoff is super sexual and Michael and Gavin still fuck like teenagers… is this getting awkward? Should I just stop?”  _ Ryan stopped himself.

Ray hadn’t realized his face had heated up until Ryan broke away from the conversation. The visualization of those events made him blush at the thought of them all and the different ways they had to make things work, especially sex. It hadn’t entirely come across to Ray that they might all participate.

_ “I’m just going to stop, that’s a little too much information.”  _ Ryan nervously laughed it off. Ray was actually curious now but he didn’t press the subject, it was fine, that was something he’d just have to find out more on in time,  _ “The point is, you don’t have to force yourself to feel a certain way about everyone, we’re kind of grouped off as it is so don’t worry about Geoff and Jack. Get to know them a little better, if you start getting into it all more than you thought, that’s great, but if you don’t there’s nothing to worry about.” _

That was a legitimate relief to Ray. It was confusing to judge how to take the relationship as a whole, but he was slowly learning how things worked. He knew he needed to go further with it though, he wouldn’t learn anything if he kept this silent. Ray reminded himself he needed to break the news to the others, one way or another.

“Thanks… I’m still trying to figure all this out.”

_ I know, we’ll take it one step at a time.” _

Ray smirked, now having a few lingering thoughts of some not so PG moments that Ryan would have with the others. He had to put a stop to them when his blood started to flow too far south. A brief thought of how long each step had to take flashed across his mind, “Let’s go back to the game, I’m feeling kind of awkward now.”

_ “Sorry…” _

“Don’t be, you just gave me some more things to look forward to in September.”

Ryan’s tone changed abruptly from the wary tone to entertained laughter as he realized what precise kind of awkwardness Ray meant.

 

* * *

Day 23

* * *

 

_ “Do you see it?” _

“Where? What am I looking for?” Ray asked, eyes scanning the lights high above him. It had all started with a quick check on what Ryan was doing and now Ray was out on his deck, having dragged his sheets and pillow out with him for something comfortable to lay on as he lay out and looked to the sky. Ryan had explained how he’d taken up star watching with this job, how there were certain constellation that could be seen in the summer months and how clear they were this time of year. It hadn’t really occurred to Ray to go stargazing but now that he was out here and paying attention to them, it made sense. 

The sky was absolutely gorgeous. No light pollution for miles gave them an excellent view that Ray hadn’t seen before. All his life growing up in New York stars hadn’t been a thing of interest, why try to gaze at something you could never see, right? Here though, it was like the sky had exploded into tiny specks of light everywhere. After just a minute focusing on them, Ray was hooked. He’d dragged his bedding out and wrapped himself in one of his sheets as he asked Ryan to tell him what he was looking at.

_ “Look way up, above the moon, see that bright yellow star that makes a box?” _

Ray scanned the sky, craning his neck back as he went further up. Eventually he caught sight of what he thought was it, it certainly looked box like, “I think so…”

_ “It’s got three other stars coming off of it to the left.” _

“Oh, yeah, yeah, I see it… huh… So that’s really the Big Dipper?

_ “Yep, and if you see the other bigger stars near it, it makes the constellation Ursa Major, the bear.”  _ Ryan explained.

Ray squinted, “I don’t see a bear.”

_ “Meh, it doesn’t really look like a bear anyways. Looks more like a horse to me.” _

“What else is up there?” Ray asked, moving along as he went back to focusing on the vast collection of stars around the constellation.

_ “Let’s see, there’s Leo right below that and to the right a little, oh, hey, when were you born?” _

Ray raised an eyebrow, “...1989, why?”

_ “No, I mean the month and day.”  _ Ryan clarified.

“Why didn’t you just ask me for my birthday? It’s September the fifteenth.” Ray answered anyways, translating Ryan’s confusing question.

_ “Wow, you’ll have your birthday right when we’re getting out of here then. Sorry, you’ll have to wait for presents.” _

“I don’t need presents.” Ray smirked, it was a thoughtful gesture but there wasn’t a need for all the fanfare.

_ “I’ve got to at least get you a cake, hell Geoff will probably want to back you one. Whatever you do, refuse the rum cake. Just trust me on this one, he will insist.”  _ Ryan pushed.

“No, no cake, I don’t want any cake,” Ray refused, “I don’t like it.”

_ “You don’t like cake?”  _ Ryan sounded slightly stunned by the thought.

“No, it’s not my thing. I’m not super big on sweet things anyways.” Ray told him.

_ “Aw man, I love sweets.” _

“I know you do,” Ray laughed, “All the foods you talk about are doughnuts and cookies. Come on, don’t leave me hanging, why’d you need my birthday?”

_ “Oh right, I was trying to figure out if your sign is in the sky.... September fifteenth… that’s … cancer… leo… virgo, you’re a virgo. Yeah, your sign is just there to the right of the moon.”  _ Ryan tried to describe the location as best as he could, unable to give much more of a visual aid then directions.

“Ryan the “Can I get your sign” guy,” Ray joked but he was seriously trying to find the constellation, he thought he could just barely make it out with the moon so bright right next to it, “I’m not sure if I’m looking at it.”

_ “I wish I were there in person, it would make it much easier to point all of this out.”  _ Ryan lamented.

Ray frowned, it always stood out how separated they were whenever Ryan said those words, “Yeah, I wish you were too.”

_ “How about for your birthday present, when we get out of here, I take you for that drive? Just me and you, in my truck. We’ll pack up some stuff and go driving at night, park somewhere away from town, and I can show you all the stars in the sky.” _

Ray’s smiled returned at the thought of them laying out under the sky, just like he was right then, but with Ryan by his side, “...I’d like that.”

_ “It’s a date then.”  _ Ryan confirmed, a little cockiness unable to hide in his soft tone.

“Keep this up and my September is going to be nonstop date night.” Ray warned.

_ “I’m counting on it.” _

* * *

 

_ Day 24 _

* * *

 

_ “Ray, it’s time to get up.” _

Ray groaned as he came into consciousness to the sound of his technically boyfriend. He’d left his line open to Ryan’s frequency the night before specifically so he wouldn’t have to get up for his radio in the morning, he knew he would feel like getting up after staying up so late stargazing. Instead he called out over to the receiver, sitting on it’s charger across the tower while Ray stretched out in his cot, “....Time isn’t real, it can’t tell me what to do.”

Ryan chuckled on his end,  _ “Time is real. You have a clock in your tower.” _

“It’s broken, therefore time does not exist. Let me sleep.” Ray brushed of Ryan’s logical reassurance. He just seemed to enjoy the game though.

_ “I can’t wait for September.”  _ Ryan said in a sigh. Ray knitted his eyebrows, his eyes were closed as he tried to rest them a little. It wasn’t as if he needed to look anyone in the eye afterall.

“Hmm? Why’s that?”

_ “I want to see you fight to stay asleep.”  _ Ryan mused happily, it brought a smile to Ray’s face.

“That sounds like you plan on seeing me sleep.” Ray called him out on his suggestive response.

_ “Maybe in one way or another.”  _ Ryan was coy, he was more then happy to take on a more flirtatious attitude towards Ray now that he could. It brought out a new side to him, or rather, it freed up the part of Ryan that he’d hidden from Ray. The side of him that Ryan had always stopped himself from going too far towards. Now though, he practically jumped at every chance and it wasn’t unwelcomed. Being with a guy was still news to Ray but he didn’t mind the attention coming at him for once. It was actually a bit of an ego boost.

“Well maybe in one way or another you’ll get hit in the face if you try to wake me up.” Ray told him as he hauled himself up and snatched his radio, rolling himself right back up in bed.

_ “I’ll take it,”  _ Ryan accepted those stakes.

“Yeah, I bet you do.” Ray mumbled sarcastically with a shit eating grin growing on his face.

_ “I heard that,”  _ Ryan called him out,  _ “Come on, get your radio at least, let me hear you better.” _

Ray had a long moment of intense debate with himself over whether or not it was worth it but the result was inevitable anyways. Slightly disgruntled, Ray snatched his radio up before returning to comfort, “Can I still go to sleep?”

_ “No, I want to talk to you.” _

“But I’m tired,” Ray whined, “You can still talk to me, I’ll just fall asleep while you keep going.” Ray attempted to negotiate poorly.

_ “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve done it, but that’s usually at night.” _

“You’re underestimating my sleeping abilities.”

_ “Clearly.” _

“You made me stay up so late last night, you could at least let me sleep in.” Ray tried the guilt tripping route.

_ “You stay up late anyways, and you have a job to be up and monitoring your area, watching for fire.”  _ He was shot down quick with Ryan’s logic.

“There hasn’t been any fires since those teenage douchebags.” 

_ “That doesn’t mean it can’t happen. What if I need you to investigate something suspicious and you’re out cold?” _

“There is no such thing as “cold” here,” Ray groaned but finally submitted to Ryan’s persistence, “Fine, I’ll stay awake.”

_ “Thank you.”  _ Ryan said in a sweet, almost sing song voice.

“I don’t know what you could possibly talk to me about, literally nothing has happened since last night.”

_ “I don’t want to talk to you about work, I want to talk about you and me.”  _ Ryan clarified.

Ray raised an eyebrow, “Okay, you got my attention, this is gonna be good.”

_ “I’m serious.” _

“I know you are, that’s why I’m listening, I want to know where this is going.”

_ “Well, I was thinking about the other day, when we were talking about cravings and you were wanting pizza.” _

In Ray’s still foggy state he had to think for a moment to recall the events, “...Oh right, pizza and you.” 

_ “Yeah, I was thinking about that.” _

“Okay…” Ray said to signify he was keeping up with the conversation and waiting for it to continue.

_ “I was just curious how serious you were about that.” _

“Very, I really want pizza.” Ray halfheartedly joked.

_ “I meant the other part.” _

“That too, I really want to be with you too.” Ray told him wholeheartedly that time.

Ryan gave a short laugh at his sleepy responses,  _ “I’m bad at this beating around the bush thing, what I’m trying to get to is how comfortable are you with other men?” _

Ray stayed quiet, out of lack of response, he wasn’t entirely sure himself. The discussion they’d had before about the group having different relationships and having sex had been interesting, it kind of had him intrigued about it to the point he’d started blushing but honestly he wasn’t sure about putting himself into that kind of scene. He wouldn’t know if he were comfortable with every person involved in it or not, it wasn’t something he had experience with.

“I don’t really know…,” He responded honestly, “I’ve never been with a man… definitely never been with five…”

_ “You know you don’t have to strictly be with all five of us.” _

“I know, you told me… I guess I kind of want to be but… I more want to be with you.”

_ “I’m asking because I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything if you don’t  _ _ t _ _ hink you’re okay with it. We talked about all that a little bit the other day but… I mean, you and me, we don’t have to be sexual you know, if you’re not into that. I don’t see it as some crucial part to a relationship.” _

Ray’s mind went back to the mental images he’d had the other day. His eyes closed as his mind conjured up those same thoughts along with the memory of the touchy feely wet dream he’d had that started all this. He let out an uncomfortable sigh, in conflict of wanting to think about it and also not wanting things to get super awkward, “... I don’t think I’d mind things that far.”

_ “You sure?”  _ Ryan asked seriously, his voice that same soothing deep that Ray liked to hear, it wasn’t helping helping the threat of morning wood coming on.

“Yeah, pretty sure.” Ray said a little faster than he meant to, his voice came out a little strained. He brought his legs up to his chest trying to stifle it away.

_ “...Okay…,”  _ Ryan relented, a little hesitant. Ray bit at his lip, knowing that Ryan was paying attention, he heard the shift in his voice,  _ “You alright?” _

Ray turned his head away from the radio and let out a quiet, “...Fuck…”

_ “That doesn’t sound like alright.”  _ Ryan noted.

Ray rolled his eyes, turning back to his radio, “...You know how sometimes you wake up normal and sometimes you wake up with… uh… issues controlling your body?”

_ “Um, yeah?” _

“Got some of that going on.”

_ “What? Like sleep paralysis?” _

“No, but could we kind of not talk about sex just right now.”

_ “Oh,”  _ Ryan started to catch on,  _ “... Oh…” _

“...So to answer your question…” Ray concluded, his face flushed, embarrassed.

_ “Uh, yeah, I guess that does, in a way.”  _ Ryan agreed, starting to get a little full of himself,  _ “That a normal reaction to my wake up calls?” _

“No, you don’t normally wake me up with tales of your sex life,” Ray grimaced, “I, uh, I might need to call you back, I need a minute to calm down.”

_ “...Or you could.... Uh…” _

Ray paused from hi _ s  _ move to turn the radio off, “...Uh huh? What?”

_ “I’m just saying you could go ahead and…”  _

Ray’s eye widened up and his face flushed even more once he caught on, “You are not saying-”

_ “It was just a suggestion.”  _ Ryan hurried to attempt to correct himself.

“What? No! I’m not going to jack off to thoughts of you having sex, that’s just… It’s weird!” Ray made himself clear, although his body liked the idea it wasn’t right. He’d never masturbated to anyone he’d known before, the thought of doing that just felt wrong, especially in regards to the person. Friends, past relationships, never had he actually done anything to act upon fantasies in his head, it just felt like an invasion of privacy and even imposing. If he was going to do it it would be with the person, and with them okay with it.

_ “What? Why is it weird? It’s not weird.” _

“It is weird,” Ray reiterated, you don’t just do that thinking about people you know.”

_ “Ray, how is that weird when we’re in a relationship?”  _ Ryan asked, reminding Ray that they were technically a couple now. 

Ray stilled, he had a point, but he still didn’t feel right about it, “It’s not right, it’s like not asking consent.”

Ryan chuckled,  _ “I just gave you consent.” _

Ray’s jaw clenched, he really didn’t want to argue over this right now, “It’s just… It’s wrong to do that over someone you know.”

_ “Well…,”  _ Ryan paused,  _ “Would it be better if I helped you with it?” _

Ray felt a shiver run up his spine, “...What?”

_ “It’s not like I haven’t had phone sex before, kind of a thing out here. Best thing anyone can get, you know.”  _ Ryan explained.

The visuals in his head mixed with just the thought of the sounds and what that could be like clouded Ray;s mind for a moment and flushed his head, making him a dizzy when the blood rushed back down again and he felt himself stiffen a little. His breathing became slow and heavy, his attempts to control it became worse as well. 

He managed to clear his head just enough to actually consider what that meant. THat was a pretty big leap in their relationship, at least, it would seem that way. Then again his memory served to quickly remind himself just how many people have one night stands these days, though he certainly hadn’t been the type to do anything like that. A month at least was the usual amount of time, but then again he’d never had a relationship where the other was just a button punch away, never were they so present in his life before. He and Ryan had been skyrocketing through their relationship just with the sheer amount of presence they occupied in each others lives at the moment. He was really starting to lose his internal debate, “I… I don’t know…”

_ “It’s fine, you know, you don’t have to,”  _ Ryan assured him, taking away the pressure to commit to anything,  _ “But I will say this, it’s the closest thing to real intimacy you can get out here and hard on’s aren’t fun when you can’t take a cold shower.” _

He was right, Ray hated to admit it, but he was right. He was already getting hard and there wasn’t much for stopping that anymore, not with Ryan talking to him and suggestion all that in his ear. The closest thing to a cold shower he could get was Five Mile Creek and it was way too far to walk with an erection between his legs. Ray bit down on his lip a bit, he’d tipped past the point of calming down and entered to really needy stage of morning wood.

_ “I can help you through it,”  _ Ryan continued to offer, voice getting to that sweet, caring tone Ray liked so much,  _ “It can give us some time to practice some intimacy too, you know, since being with a guy is kind of new to you.” _

Ray ran a hand through his hair, it’d started to really curl up and grow longer than he remembered as he gripped his hair tightly. He couldn’t believe he was about to actually agree with this, “...Okay…,” He let out, voice choking a little as he tried to keep his breathing as regulated as possible, “Okay, let’s do this…”

_ “...You sure?”  _ Ryan asked.

“You just asked me to have phone sex with you,” Ray reminded Ryan, frustrated in more ways than one, “I’m agreeing to it, don’t back out on me after you just tried to convince me.”

_ “Okay, okay, sorry, just making sure,”  _ Ryan explained,  _ “You going to be alright there?” _

Ray blushed, his self control was very low right now, and he felt his urges threatening to start taking action, “...I’m hard...,” He admitted, embarrassed of the state he was in already, having only listened to Ryan’s voice, “I kind of need this now… If we’re going to do this.”

_ “Oh, sorry-” _

“Don’t be sorry just… What do I do?” Ray asked nervously, this was all new to him right now, phone sex was a foreign concept as far as he was concerned. Now that he agreed though, he was actually wanting to go through with it, especially since it meant getting out some of that frustration that came with all their usual innuendos towards one another.

_ “Alright, calm down, just start it off slow Sunshine,” _ Ryan’s voice was soft and hearing his nickname made Ray sigh out, he waited for Ryan to tell him what should be done first,  _ “Take your hand, run it down your stomach till you get to your hips, do it slow.” _

Ray hesitated but he managed to work up the nerve to go through with it. He lifted up his shirt and quickly adjusted himself till his boxers weren’t covering him anymore. He didn’t look down at himself, he didn’t want to, not with Ryan speaking to him. Instead, Ray let his head fall back and he swallowed a lump in his throat caused from all the anxiousness. He did as Ryan told him, putting his hand on his stomach and started to move it down. He moved it lower and lower, and when his fingertips grazed the skin over his pelvis he felt his lower half give an odd spasm. 

“Ahh!” Ray let out in surprise before he quickly covered his mouth with his other hand. His hips shook from the strange sensation, it was something between a tickle and something more pleasurable. He heard Ryan give a few low laughs, amused no doubt by Ray’s reaction.

_ “Did that feel nice?”  _ Ryan asked, cocky and trying to be suave about it. In all fairness though, at the moment it was working for Ray.

“This is weird, I feel weird doing this.” Ray admitted, removing his hand to express his concerns after being embarrassed to a new degree. It wasn’t like masturbation was a foreign concept to him, but to do it with someone else involved, talking to him and listening to him. It was just barely on the line between self pleasure to actual sex. Plus whatever that was, that was definitely new. He didn’t know where Ryan picked up that trick but that was definitely something that came from a lot more experience then Ray had, he was starting to feel very inadequate.

_ “It always feel weird at first, till it gets going,”  _ Ryan assured him,  _ “But we can stop if you’re not ready.” _

Ray bit his lips so hard he tasted a little blood from the small puncture to his lips. As much as he tried to backpedal out of the situation, he really didn’t want to at the same time. He was hard, and that last move certainly got this moving even further. Stopping now would just make him more frustrated for a long time too. 

“...No…” He said shakily, sealing himself into this now, “No, I want to do this… Just… what the fuck was that?”

_ “You never did that before?”  _ Ryan asked.

Ray useless shook his head, just barely remembering that Ryan couldn’t see that, “No…”

_ “The nerves there are very sensitive, just a light graze goes a long way.”  _ Ryan told him sweetly but Ray could tall there was mischief behind that voice. Ray wanted to hear more, it was starting to turn him on a bit more.

Ray panted from the sudden exertion catching up to him, he wanted to start already but he needed to hear more of Ryan now, needed that voice, “...C-can you do something Ryan?”

_ “Anything.”  _ Ryan purred back at him.

Ray let out a small moan, almost a whine, at the sound. He’d really liked hearing Ryan’s voice like this for a while but now in particular it was bringing in some real excitement, “...Yeah, do that… keep talking.”

_ “Talking? You want me to talk to you, sunshine?”  _ Ryan acted coy and Ray nearly let out a groan,  _ “Mami I can dirty talk like you wouldn’t believe.” _

The way Ryan’s voice got deep on the end mixed with that tease of a bad nickname actually made Ray voice clip in his throat. He reached down and grabbed his hard dick, he couldn’t just stay there like that anymore, now he really needed to get it going, “...Yeah? _ ” _

_ “Oh yes baby boy,”  _ Ryan said sweetly, Ray couldn’t decided which voice he liked better,  all the different personas, all the different pieces of Ryan that made him so wonderful. It was a little game to Ryan right now, Ray could tell, but he didn’t mind it, it actually excited him,  _ “You be surprised what I can do with just my voice.” _

Ray let out breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, he started to slowly move his hand along, delightful little fantasies crossing his mind, “... I can only imagine.”

_ “I’m afraid you’re going to have to for now, sunshine,”  _ Ryan said, genuine remorse and want in his voice,  _ “If I could just be there with you…-” _

Ray accidently cut him off with a slip of his voice, a small whisper of a moan as he stroked himself to the thoughts of how Ryan was going to finish that sentence.

_ "Tired of hearing me already? You moved on without me,"  _ Ryan asked, amused, Ray could just imagine a smirk that he’d have. Ray clenched his teeth together to stifle a loud moan, it was no wonder why Ryan was questioning him about that when Ray was being as loud as possible at the moment,  _ "I thought you wanted me to help you do it. Don’t you?" _

"Wh-haa…,” Ray bit down on his lip, ashamed of his lack of control. He couldn’t even speak properly. He hummed out his response, uselessly, “...Mmhmmm…”

_ “Is that a yes?”  _ Came the husky breathed questioned.

“Mmhmm…” Ray started to move faster.

_ “Don’t you want me to tell you all the things I could be doing to you? If you want me too?”  _ Ryan teased, offering himself up as an impossible to achieve treat, just letting the words hang in the air like a trap and Ray happily fell right into it.

“Tell me…” He moaned, still going on what he could imagine in his head, his own head was straight into the action but he still wanted to hear from Ryan what he’d do exactly. Hear  him say it himself, concrete it and make it real.

_ “I’d go for your pretty neck first, you know, leave marks all over it, right on your jaw too. Do you like it there Ray?” Ryan asked.  _

Ray shook his head without reason, he’d never had that before, he didn’t know, but it still excited him to think about lips along his throat, teeth nipping at him there. It was a little scary to think about too, all the vulnerability of that kind of position, just exposing such a fragile part of the body, but he liked the idea, “...Yes…” He answered without actually knowing.

_ “Good, good, then I’ll move on to your stomach. Want me to mark you there too?”  _

“Ye- es.” Ray stuttered as a moan threatened to swallow his voice again from his quickened pace. Ryan seemed to like it though, he let out an amused sigh, humming how pleased he was with the situation.

_ “Tell me, sunshine, do you want to be on top or should I?” _

The question was so plainly put but there was an obvious excitement behind it for Ryan that Ray could read. Ryan was enjoying this too, though he didn’t seem to be getting off to it like Ray was. Ray already felt like putty in Ryan’s hands, a mess that couldn’t do anything to fix himself up to halfway decent even for just a moment. And he liked this, he liked just laying there, hearing all the sweetness in his ears, imagining all the things Ryan would do to him, all things he wanted so badly in that moment. Breathless, he answered, “You…”

A darker chuckle came from Ryan, giving Ray shivers,  _ “Thank god, I’ve been dying to get my hands on those hips of yours since Michael told me about them.” _

The sudden boldness made Ray moan openly, it sounded strange to hear compliments and praise of his body. The thought of Ryan grabbing his hips, that sounded wonderful, have him so close, have him pin him down to the bed instead of bucking up into his own hand like he was right now. 

_ “Let me have you, baby, let me touch you.” _

It was all just pretend but it certainly was working, Ray huffed a whine, thinking of Ryan’s hands where his own were roaming. Reminded of how the phantom feeling of his previous dream had felt on him and recalled it as best as he could, willing it to be real. Ray’s head craned back far as his back started to arch a little. He wasn’t sure what was doing it more for him, the sensitivity of his nerves waking up or Ryan whispering in his ear.

He started to lose track of what he was being told, catching every sentence but only really registering every other one. All he knew was that it made it all feel so much better with every word. Little quips of encouragement and instructions, faster, harder, slower, put you hand right there, feel this; whether Ray actually managed to follow them or not he still loved to hear all the details described to him and imagined Ryan doing them himself.

_ “A little faster, Sunshine,”  _ Ryan purred to him,  _ “Let me hear your voice.” _

Ryan almost sounded like he was pleading towards the tail end of his instructions. It was tempting to just let it all out, every moan and cursing Ray wanted to get out but he was stopped by his own embarrassment. The thought of someone listening to him like this made him so nervous like a teenager being caught with a playboy magazine. Still, a few noises made themselves known, managing to get past his lips whenever he slipped away into the moment.

When Ray suddenly felt his climax build up his mouth dropped open and a loud moan let out, unhindered. His back arched up and his thrusts into his hand became shallow and rushed. He heard Ryan give off a hungry groan of his own, the sound resonated through Ray like it was the only sound that existed in that moment.

_ “That’s it, Ray, let it all out. Cum, baby.”  _

There was something so lewd about the way Ryan’s words spoke to him in such an , breathless innocent manner, it pushed him over the edge. His eyes closed tightly as he gave a strained cry out, “HA-AAH! … f- haaah… fuck…”

As he came down from his climax, Ray started to feel the messy aftermath of his actions. Sticky and sweaty he let out heavy breaths as aftershocks still wracked through his body making him twitch and shudder. 

_ “There…”  _ Came Ryan’s voice, assisting in his settlement,  _ “... Feel better now?” _

Ray panted, settling back into his bed feeling relieved and still frustrated. As relaxed as he was now, it came rushing back to him just how off it was to have done that. He lay there taking in the feeling of having just had long distance sex. It was weird, satisfying all the same, but weird. Ray let out a lingering moan in between his huffs as he absorbed everything that just happened.

_ “I’ll take that as a yes.”  _ Ryan laughed.

“Ha… Goddammit… First time having sex with you… and it’s still over the fucking radio.” He let out winded.

_ “It wasn’t really sex-” _

“It was sex,” Ray cut him off, “It was phone sex…”

_ “Was it that bad then?”  _ Ryan asked, voice wavering.

“Fuck no,” Ray panted, “That was awesome… Holy shit… I just had phone sex...”

_ “I guess it’s more like radio sex.” _

“I’ve never had phone sex before.”

_ “Not as catchy though.” _

“... Phone sex is weird…” Ray concluded.

_ “I thought you liked it?” _

“I do it’s just fucking weird,” Ray rubbed his eyes with the back of his clean hand, wiping sweat off his forehead. He let out an annoyed sigh as he realized what came next, “Dammit I have to go to the creek like this…”

                                                                                     

By the sound of laughter from Ran’s end it was clear he was amused by Ray’s predicament, though Ray certainly didn’t appreciate it at all.

* * *

 

Day 26

* * *

 

“Okay, whoa, slow down, a phantom?” Ray asked confused.

_ “A Phantom Flex.”  _ Gavin repeated as if it explained everything.

“...Okay…” Ray waited for an explanation. As the morning came he’d had a thought to speak to Gavin without Michael, to take a step forward into getting to know him better. He knew very little about Gavin other than pieces of his personality, most of which easily summarized by the others as shithead but Michael often hinted at there being more. That was what Ray wanted to find out, that and what sort of things Gavin was interested in. He started with what he knew, asking Gavin what he did out in his area. Ray remembered a briefly portion of conversation about the projects Gavin did and ventured to ask only to end up with more questions in the explanations.

_ “It’s a slow mo camera.”  _ Gavin finally said something that made sense.

“Oh,” Ray nodded along, “Okay, that’s cool.”

_ “It’s probably the most valuable thing I own.”  _ He admitted.

Ray raised an eyebrow, “And you bring it out here?”

_ “Well it’s the best place to get the footage,”  _ Gavin reasoned,  _ “Can’t get these kind of shots in civilization.” _

“And what exactly do you capture?” Ray asked, genuinely curious.

_ “Whatever catches my interest,”  _ He answered plainly,  _ “Back in the city I can set up all kinds of things but out here it’s all just nature, real nature. What I like the most is to get footage of animals in action. It’s why it takes so many tries to get something to work. Other times I set up the whole thing out of what I can find. I’ve gotten some really top shots in the past.” _

“That’s cool, how do you run that thing out here?”

_ “Well… not easily… it’s a bit rubbish the power source out here. What I do is set up my equipment to charge directly from the generator or to run off of it. Means I have to rely on natural light some days but otherwise it works out pretty well. Michael taught me how to do that.” _

“Oh yeah?”

_ “Yeah, used to be an electrician, he knows more about all that then I ever will.” _

Ray raised an eyebrow, he hadn’t heard that before, at least he didn’t think he had. An electrician? Michael had  lot more going for him then Ray had thought then. It was hard to imagine them in any other job than this, fire watching was all Ray knew about their profession. On that same note, what was it that Gavin did? Why was he here to begin with? Out of all of them, Gavin made the least sense to be out there, “What do you do?”

_ “What do you mean?”  _ Gavin asked.

“I’m just curious, I can’t figure out why you’re out here in Wyoming, you’re british right? You’re like actually from England?” 

_ “Well yeah, Oxfordshire.” _

“Okay, so, why are you here?” Ray reiterated, “Why would you come out here year after year?”

He didn’t mention the obvious reason why Gavin would be out here, he already knew that. Of course he’d want to be with his partners, even if they were spaced out like they were. What Ray wanted to know was why he was even in america to begin with and why he stayed.

_ “I like this job,”  _ Gavin defended,  _ “Keeps us all close, you know. And well, it wasn’t exactly planned out. I came to America to see what was going on here but once you see a city there isn’t much else to go on. I saw an application to get out in the woods and I figured that was more interesting.” _

“I can relate to that.”

_ “It was my grandad, actually, he works over here in America a lot, or at least he used to. He helped me get my first work visa,”  _ Gavin recalled,  _ “Didn’t do too much with it at first, just small jobs. Then I found this one… guess it’s still a small job but, I like it.” _

“So you aren’t technically a citizen then?” Ray inquired.

_ “Nah, one day though.” _

“I bet that’s a lot of flights then.”

_ “Yeah, well, I take round trips usually. Just stay long enough to renew my visa most times.” _

The thought of hardly ever going home saddened Ray. Gavin was just out here in America, separated from his home and hardly ever seeing it, “What about your family?”

_ “Oh… yeah they’re alright. I see them when I can. We use skype a lot, we used skype a lot when I lived in England anyways. We’re kind of all spaced out, so nothing we can’t handle.” _

“Don’t you get kind of lonely without them?”

_ “Sometimes, but it’s something I’ve got to do, you know?” _

Ray nodded along, he could understand that feeling. He had the same when the impulse struck him to come out and do the job. There wasn’t much thought to his choice either, he just jumped at the opportunity, just anything to get out of the city. Like Gavin had been saying, it just wasn’t the right setting anymore. Ray figured there was more thought behind Gavin’s decision though. In a way, he was sort of trapped there and Ray found that thought unnerving, Gavin had been faced with a choice after meeting the others; stay with them or fly back home and his pick was pretty obvious at this point. Ray felt a sinking feeling in his gut knowing he’d have to make that choice too if he was serious about it.

“How’d you do it?” Ray asked, trying to make sense of how he could just make that kind of decision with so many risks attached to it.

_ “...How’d I do what?”  _ Gavin asked, clearly confused.

“How’d you make that choice?”

_ “Oh, well, I wanted to stay.”  _ Gavin answered like it was just so obvious.

“But is it really worth it?”

_ “Uh… yeah, for me it is anyways,”  _ Gavin approached casually, after a moment he seemed to kind of catch on to the worry behind Ray’s questions,  _ “I’m not alone Ray, I have the gents, I have my boi Michael, we make it work. Are you alright Ray?” _

Gavin asked his question carefully, the tone he had told Ray he was really hoping it wasn’t anything too serious going on but also showed he had genuine concern for him.

“Yeah…,” Ray answered more as just an automatic response as he was considering his priorities in his own head, “... You must really love them…”

Gavin halted, giving a nervous laugh,  _ “Right, sure, I mean they’re my best mates.” _

Ray let out a snort, being thrown out of his thoughts by Gavin’s sad attempt at lying. He hadn’t even realized what he’d said to trigger it till just then either. It was Gavin’s lousy cover up that really gave it all away now, “That was just sad, man, you don’t have hide it, Gavin, I know.”

_ “...You wot?”  _ Gavin asked halfway between confused and surprised.

“Your “mates” are your  _ mates _ , I already know.” Ray informed him taking the opportunity to make a bad turn of phrase.

_ “You do!?”  _ Gavin’s shock was quickly overtaken by his own laughter.

Ray smiled, glad Gavin wasn’t responding to it by freaking out like Michael had, “Yeah, been kind of sitting on that one for a few days.”

_ “Who told you?” _

“Uh, you did, oddly enough.”

_ “Me?! How the bloody hell did I do that?” _

“Well, you didn’t exactly tell me I sort of overhead it. My radio was on and you and, yeah, just long story but I know.” Ray cut it short, not really wanting to go into detail about it.

_ “Oh,”  _ Gavin laughed out, not mad at all, just amused by the whole things,  _ “Does everyone else know? Is this like some really elaborate punchline and I’m the last one to know about this?” _

“No, no, just Michael and Ryan know,” Ray answered, “Trying not to make a big deal out of it yet.”

_ “Wot!? Michael knew before I did? He didn’t even tell me!” _

“That was kind of the point, Gavin. I was going to try and figure out a good way to break it to everyone.” Ray explained.

_ “Oh, alright, wait, what about Geoff and Jack?” _

“I’m still working on that,” Ray told him, honestly. He wasn’t sure how to do that with them, they were older than him, so different, and he didn’t really know what way would be better when it came to breaking the news to them, “Waiting for the right time I guess.”

_ “I see, yeah, good way to play it. Probably much smarter than how I did it, just jumping into it like a fucking minge.”  _ Gavin admitted,  _ “So you know the whole thing then, right? All of it?” _

“Yeah.”

_ “...And you and Ryan…” _

“Yep.”

_ “Nice.” _

* * *

 

Day 29

* * *

 

 

_ “Rayn.” _

_ “That’s fucking lame. What are they a thirteen year old’s shipping name?” _

_ “... Hispanic Panic?” _

_ “That doesn’t really fit… like at all.” _

“I got one, just call us the Cumstain Comrades.” Ray suggested into the frey of bad team names Gavin was trying to give them. The other three burst out laughing at the obscene name.

_ “Jesus…”  _ Ryan remarked but he was clearly entertained by the suggestion.

_ “What the fuck Ray?”  _ Michael cackled wickedly while Gavin just started squeaking, his laughs not fully forming anymore.

“Just a suggestion.” Ray offered, trying to keep his composure.

_ “Okay, that may be the end of that line of weird team name guessing today.”  _ Ryan offered.

“There is no end of the line for this train, the railroad is infinite.”

In the midst of the laughter and confusion that followed, Gavin let out a loud “Oh” as a revelation struck him,  _ “There you go, the R and R connection! Like a railroad!” _

Ray face palmed but he kept it going, “The fuck train has no brakes!”

_ “What?”  _ Ryan chuckled, genuinely confused as he didn’t understand the reference at all. 

Ray shook his head, it wasn’t worth trying to explain it to him, “Maybe you’ll figure it out by September Ryan.”

_ “I’ll figure you out by September.” _

Ray frowned, “Wow, got me there.”

A clicking of static interrupted their call, they all went quiet as they waited for some form of clarification of whoever it was and whatever they wanted. 

_ “Yeah?”  _ Ryan was the first to say anything, going ahead and being the ambassador of the radio as it was.

_ “Hey Ryan.” _

_ “Hey Geoff.”  _ They all knew the voice immediately but the rest still stayed quiet in case it was something important.

_ “Is Ray in his tower? Or does he have his radio on him? Do you know?”  _ Geoff asked and Ray found himself instinctively shrinking in on himself wondering if he did something wrong, he didn’t think he had but sometimes things just happened like that.

_ “Uh… yeah actually, we’re in a group call right now. Me, Ray, Gavin and Michael.” _ Ryan answered honestly which prompted the others to chime in with their own greetings.

_ “Sup Geoff.” _

_ “‘Ey Geoffrey.” _

Ray cleared his throat, choosing to go ahead and ask, “What’d I do?”

_ “Nothing, nothing,”  _ Geoff said, his voice kind of a tired sigh, or maybe more of an exasperated one, it was hard to tell just then but it was very quickly clarified as he continued, sounding more and more annoyed with each word,  _ “Just, you know, one thing really. I’m glad all four of you are in this call since all of you have been hiding the one really important secret that Ray and Ryan got together and I’m the last person to know about it.” _

Geoff got louder as he reached the end of his little tirade but there was something strangely funny to Geoff being mad. Still, it didn’t stop the panic from sinking in or the blood rushing to Ray’s face as he was called out. 

_ “Why the hell am I the last person to hear about this? I had to get the news out of Jack!” _

Ray’s eyebrows knitted together at that, wondering how on Earth Jack found out. A small squeak from the radio told him. He gave a little sigh, “It was Gavin, wasn’t it?”

He could hear Michael start to give his usual troublemaker laugh, the deep chuckle he always made whenever he found something stupid highly amusing. Ryan just sounded dumbstruck, a small  _ “uhhhh” being the only comment he seem capable of making at the time, eventually Gavin owned up, “...Sorry Ray.” _

Ray face palmed, groaning, “Goddamnit Gav… What about waiting for a better time?”

_ “I’m sorry, I just, it slipped out when I was talking to Jack!”  _

_ “Dude, never tell Gavin anything you’d care about getting yelled over a megaphone, he can’t keep secrets for shit.”  _ Michael gave his two cents worth of advice a little too late.

Ray huffed, annoyed, heart still racing at the call out from Geoff, “...Okay,” He relented, “So… yeah… That’s uh… so this is a thing Geoff.”

He paused, expecting more yelling from Geoff, although it was amusing enough that Geoff was angry about something like this in the first place, he seemed to change his mood completely, although he was still sounding very verbally disgruntled,  _ “About fucking time.” _

 

* * *

 

Day 30

* * *

 

The usual dry heat of the forest usually kept Ray on his toes trying to find ways to stay cool day and night. When a sudden chill took to the air, it came welcomed at first, giving the regular exhausting heat a break and giving a slight coolness to relieve the scorching presence of the summer sun. At night however, the coolness suddenly showed a dark side. Ray reasoned to himself it was just because he’d become accustomed to the heat that now caused him to feel such an aversion to the cold air, not that he was very good with the cold in general. Instead of basking in nature's reprieve from sweat and potential heat stroke, Ray found himself bundled up in bed, uncomfortably cold as he tried to use his body heat to warm his bed enough to go to sleep in.

He’d almost had it too when Ryan’s voice called to him through the radio,  _ “Hey sunshine?” _

Ray looked over towards the radio on his desk, it was so far away in this moment despite being only three steps away.

_ “Raaay?” _

Ray groaned, he got up out of his bed wrapped in his sheets like a walking cocoon. He hastily snatched up good radio and five back into the bed, snuggled up even tighter, “I'm here.”

_ “What's up? You sound upset.” _

“No,” Ray yawn, “I’m just cold.”

_ “Oh, yeah, it is pretty cold out tonight, huh?” _

“Mmhmm”

_ “So what are you up to?”  _ Ryan asked, sounding just as tired as Ray did. It  _ was  _ late, that Ray was sure of, but that was how Ryan worked. He always stayed up late despite being tired, he’d try to hide it all the time but it was obvious. Still, Ray kept quiet about it, even when he did start to piece it together. He wasn’t sure if it was caused by anything in particular or if Ryan was just the kind of insomniac he was for something as simple as just not being able to get to sleep. It was hard to tell but Ray could hear it in his voice how much he wanted to go to sleep most times. One day he’d ask about it, one day when he could actually do something to help Ryan resolve whatever kept him up so late but for now he could provide him with some company anyways.

“Just wrapped up in bed with the radio.”

_ “Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were sleeping.”  _ Ryan apologized, a tone of guilt in his voice now.

“I'm not,” Ray assured him, “I'm just cold.”

_ “I can just call back tomorrow.” _

“No, don't,” Ray stopped him, “I like listening to your voice. What is it, what did you need?”

Ryan gave a small laugh and it warmed Ray’s heart a little,  _ “Nothing, I just wanted to listen to your voice.” _

“Sap” Ray teased him.

_ “You love it.”  _ He teased back.

“I do.” Ray admitted, he paused, shifting a little in his bed, feeling the layout his body had made of where the warmest spot was around his body and where the sudden cold had chilled over the sheets, “Hey, Ryan?”

_ “Yeah?”  _

“You're a big guy right?”

_ “Uh, bigger than you I think.”  _ Ryan gave as an answer, obviously a little confused about why he was being asked that.

“That's not really a competition, everyone's bigger than me. I’m fucking tiny.” Ray told him.

“I guess I'm tall.” He laughed now, going along with Ray’s weird little interrogation.

“Broad?”

_ “Yeah, I guess.” _

“Mmm good.” Ray hummed.

_ “Why?” _

“You'd hold me when I'm cold right?”

Ryan let out a laugh in disbelief, _ “Yeah, I'd hold you so close I'd smother you.” _

“Mmn well don't kill me, but that's good. I'm a little bitch when it's cold.

Ryan hummed suggestively right back to him, _ “I'll tell Geoff we should go up north then if that’s what I think it means.” _ “

Ray groaned in response, “I said  _ don’t _ kill me.”

Ryan chuckled back at him before they both returned to silence. The subtle sounds of Ryan’s breathing becoming as soothing as a lullaby. As Ray lay there listening he realized that Ryan was surely hearing his own, with how close Ray was holding the radio to his face. Every little shift in their breaths could be heard, any faltering, any hitches. It was strange to think of how intimate the moment really was. Ray couldn’t remember a time where he’d ever focused on another person’s breath so much, he wasn’t normally so close to someone that he could hear their breathing let alone focus on it. To be close enough  to hear this much of a person’s natural body movements and little involuntary actions in real life would mean to be literally right up close to the other person. At the moment, it was the closest thing they could get to an embrace or even to go as far as to be laying next to each other. It was assuring, calming, comforting. It was being together while still being so far apart, it was being vulnerable.

_ “I’d go with you to New York,”  _ Ryan suddenly told him, whispering now in a soothing tone. It came out of nowhere and the abrupt change of topic brought Ray back into  more focused awareness. It made his heart eat a little faster with what those words implied,  _ “I’ll go with you if you want me to.” _

Ray heard his own breath falter at Ryan’s offer. The more he let it sink in the more Ray realized what that meant. Ryan was telling him that he was willing to follow him after the summer ended, wherever that was. What made it even more powerful was the hidden meaning behind those words. Ryan was thinking of Ray over all of his other lovers right in that moment, and that spoke volumes of dedication. Despite this worthwhile gesture, despite how much Ray loved the idea, it wasn’t right.

“... No.” Ray answered, letting out a tight breath.

_ “...You don’t want me to come with you?”  _ Ryan was confused, his tone saddened the way it did when he thought he’d done something wrong.

“No. I do.”

_ “...Then… I’m kind of confused.”  _ Ryan told him with a little nervous but amused chuckle. 

Ray sucked in another breath, “You should stay with the others. It’s not that I don’t want you to come with me, I want to stay with you but… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s the right choice, I don’t know if I should stay with you, or go home, or try to do the long distance thing, I don’t know, but I’m not going to be the reason you can’t be with the others. You belong with them more than you do with me.”

_ “... Don’t say that,”  _ Ryan sounded hurt,  _ “You belong with us too, even if you’re on the other side of the world, you’ll still be with us.” _

“It’s not fair though, not to any of you, I keep thinking about it over and over and keep getting the same dead end. I don’t know if I should go back to my family or not, and if I don’t, what am I supposed to tell them?” Ray let out his concerns, he couldn’t figure them out on his own but maybe Ryan could.

_ “That’s why I said I’d go with you.”  _ Ryan explained,  _ “You wouldn’t have to choose. You’d be with your family, I’d come along with you, and whenever you think it’s right you could tell them, or not, your choice. You can have a little longer to figure things out that way.” _

“What about the others?” Ray asked, not forgetting about them.

_ “Some time away from me won’t kill them. It’s not like I don’t go away sometimes anyways, I road trip to Georgia all the time. It’ll be the same thing, I’ll just be away a little longer, and I’ll be with you, that’s what matters.” _

Ray let a smile crawl back on his lips, Ryan really was a big softie, “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

_ “Maybe not,”  _ Ryan admitted,  _ “But we have till September to figure it out.” _

Ray nodded, “I don’t know if I’m excited for September or scared now.”

_ “It’s just one month,”  _ Ryan told him,  _ “There’s no reason to worry about just one month. We won’t even get to it for another two anyways.” _

“...I guess so…”

_ “Just admit that I’m right and go back to being cute and sleepy.”  _ Ryan joked, making Ray laugh.

“Well now I’m more awake then I was then.” Ray told him, hugging the blankets around him a little tighter.

_ “Aw… damn… Want me to help you get sleepy?”  _ Ryan feigned an innocent facade over his suggestiveness.

“What are you suggesting?” Ray asked.

_ “You like the sound of my voice right? I think I’ve heard you like it a little more than you let on.”  _ Ryan pointed out.

Ray blushed a bit, remembering the last time Ryan used that same seductive voice on him and how that went. It was a lapse in judgment then, fueled by the power of being unable to control his bodily function having just woken up. It was stills trang to think about how fast they were moving with their relationship sometimes. What would normally take months took days, but at the same time, being surrounded only with each other, it sort of made a lot more sense. It definitely made radio sex sound a lot more justifiable.

                                                                                             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all for your patience and feedback and please let me know what you think about the other stories I have in line for writing if you have the chance. The next chapter is going to have a little more action and will mostly be about Ray and Michael so I'll give you guys that to think on for now ;)


	8. Tempest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... it's September... I should have really started this earlier, I feel like I've missed a deadline now. Oh well. So yeah, said I'd have more time to write, seems like a funny joke now. But seriously, a brief explanation of why this took so long. I had most of the whole chapter planned out and a large chunk already written, I was feeling good about it, like yeah, I'll get this done and up in no time! Then I had a thought, and I really liked that thought, and I started writing that thought, and then I had to put it in before the rest of what I already had written, which is now like most of this chapter. But I also promised last chapter I'd divert the focus some, so I went back, reworked it, reworked what was already written a little to make it work. Realized how long that would be and decided to just split what was already written in half. So all that mess coupled with my computer breaking and me getting violently ill for awhile has just made this a wonderful little nugget. So it's here now anyways and I'll try not to make the next one get delayed as long.

* * *

 

Day 35

* * *

 

 

Given how hot and dry it had been for so long, the sudden thickness of humidity to the air came as a pretty noticeable shift, albeit not a particularly desirable one. Ray honestly didn’t realize how much he could possibly miss the the horribly exhausting heat he’d endured for an entire month until it was replaced with the fresh, suffocating hell of this humid heat wave. He was covered in sweat, more so than usual, and the air was sticky and hard to breath.

The strangest thing to him was the experience of waking up early actually feeling kind of cold, only for it turn hot so fast he couldn’t tell if going outside would be better or worse than staying indoors. On the one side, staying inside he had shade, on the other side, it held in all the accumulated heat. Either way, he decided it wasn’t a day for shirts or any unnecessary clothing. So he sat, no shirt, no shoes, no socks, just a pair of shorts. Kept his laundry list down anyways.

He was perfectly content to spend the day inside on his radio for now, doing whatever kept him busy or distracted anyways. He tried his hand at writing some, not really getting very far without much of an idea for a story, but little paragraphs slowly formed over time making different little quips of descriptions or dialogues. Nothing concrete, just stuff to pass the time with until Ryan called him up.

_“Writing, huh? What about?”_

“Nothing really, just wasting time.”

_“Do you normally write?”_

“Not really, not anymore,” Ray told him, “Can’t believe I actually wanted to be a writer once, I suck at it.”

_“What? You wanted to be a writer?”_

“Yeah… my uncle did it, seemed cool… but I can’t write shit.” Ray laid it out honestly.

_“Well, I’d like to read some some time, see for myself.”_

Ray huffed, “I don’t think so.”

 _“Oh come on, you can get a real feel for people out of the stuff they make.”_ Ryan tried to convince him.

“Yeah, that just gives me even more reason to keep it from you.” Ray joked with him, but there was a note of seriousness to it as well. There was just no way he could show stuff like this around, it was embarrassing. He didn’t think any of it was any good, none of it really went anywhere, no proper story, no real character, it wasn’t something good to put in as part of his defining features as far as Ray was concerned.

 _“Alright, maybe some other time then.”_ Ryan let it be for now, _“Should be interesting today though.”_

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Ray asked, making tiny lines on the paper with his pencil.

 _“You can feel it right?”_ Ryan asked, _“That humidity in the air?”_

“Uh-huh, it sucks,” Ray confirmed, “It’s really gross out today, like my sweat has sweat.”

_“Don’t worry, that won’t last too long.”_

Ray raised an eyebrow, “Why’s that?”

 _“Man, New York must have really different weather, that humidity means water, lots of it. It’s going to rain today, big time, probably the last rain you’ll see this summer.”_ Ryan explained.

“You can tell that from the air?”

_“You can feel it when it’s about to rain, when it’s hot and dry and then suddenly you feel the shift. It’s moving this way, it’s going to really pour by tonight.”_

“Okay mystical nature man,” Ray teased, “So that’s a good thing right? Lots of water means no fires. Sweet, I can stand out in the rain and get cool for once.”

 _“It’s not that simple, and it’d probably not be all that safe to stand out in it too much.”_ Ryan cautioned.

“What? Why”

_“Rain like this brings lightning, lots of it, heat lightning, very flashy. Visibility gets low, fires could start, communications can get fuzzy. A storm like this can bring a lot of problems with it.”_

“Oh… well shit,” Ray acknowledged the important points Ryan made, “So, we’re keeping an eye out? Is that it?”

_“Yep, it’s actually going to be a pretty busy night making sure no fires start.”_

“But, won’t the water put any fire out?”

_“It’s a very slim possibility that if one starts the rain will be able to put it out.”_

“I’m confused, I thought water kind of stopped fire.”

 _“It does, but that takes a lot of water, and a pretty consistent amount of it. Rain isn’t consistent, it’s not concentrated to one area, fire can spread out faster than rain can stamp it out usually,”_ Ryan explained it simply, which Ray was appreciative of given how little of a grasp he had previously. He didn’t know that, fires weren’t something he was use to, knowledge about them wasn’t exactly abundant in New York so this was all news to him, _“That and the land is still too dry, even when it rains the wood and plant life is all too dry from not getting enough rain in close enough intervals, if fire starts, it starts moving quick, eating up all the fuel it can get.”_

“Okay, so, what do we do if one starts then?” Ray asked, trying to figure out the best course of events.

_“Track where it is, report it to a ranger station if it’s bad.”_

“So don’t put it out?”

_“No, you wouldn’t be able to if it did. You’d put yourself at risk.”_

“So… just watch… that doesn’t seem very useful.” Ray pointed out.

 _“It’s more useful than you think. It’s why we’re called fire_ watchers _not fire_ fighters _. The ranger station has things prepared for this kind of stuff, they wait around all summer for us to call something in or not. Usually hoping for not, but shit happens. If it starts, they’ll send in a burn crew to isolate the area with a control burn, if it gets out of hand they’ll get planes out here to dump ocean water on the whole thing and put it out fast. No need for us to do anything stupid, I don’t know about you but I’m not exactly a pro at putting out a whole forest.”_

“Yeah, no, good point.”

* * *

 

As the sun set, the rain approached, dimming the flare of the horizon with grey, angry clouds. It was very slight at sunset, the sky spitting on them with tiny speck like droplet. Ray went out of his tower for it then, leaving his shirt behind indoors. The rain felt good, a well deserved reprieve from the harsh summer heat, but as the sun finally set and the sky turned darker shades the little rain turned into a downpour. Sheets of water started to come down, pelting Ray’s tower in a loud chorus to accompany the angry rumblings that came from the sky. The thunder was distant for a while, waiting until the whole forest was swallowed in darkness before it got close, lightning following suit.

Rain and storms usually didn’t scare Ray, there wasn’t much of a reason to be afraid of them before now. He understood why they were such a big deal out here now, the sight of a thick white crack fracturing the sky like an impact to glass fanning out as far as could be seen was terrifying. With every ear splitting crack of thunder and flash of lightning, Ray’s heart pounded in his chest out of primal fear. It didn’t help that he couldn’t see much of anything in his tower, rain blurred the glass panes and everything was so dark as it was the only time anything was seen was when the sky was lit for a brief second. The one permanent fixture of light came from Ryan’s tower, lights on as they always were, watching everything as well.

Ray had to go out on his tower’s deck to keep watch of his area, it was the only way he could observe the lightning strikes and make sure none of them hit anywhere close by. It wasn’t comfortable out in the rain anymore, he was soaked now, though he’d decided to brave it without a shirt to spare himself the extra laundry later. It wasn’t like a shirt was going to protect him from lightning anyways and it was still hot out, despite the cold rain, the small section of the planet refused to relinquish its fixation on heat. Instead the air was thickened with water; it was humid and sticky and hard to breath, all of which only made worse by the onslaught of water. The storm was difficult to watch, Ray had to keep smearing water away from his face to try and get a clear look in a certain direction. He stayed close to the walls, trying to use what little bit of roof cover he had to keep some of the water away from his glasses. Mostly he relied on the confirmation he got from Ryan though, with every strike he wasn’t sure of, he asked Ryan what he saw, getting a far more trustworthy opinion then he could gather though receiving the message was somewhat difficult.

As the storm progresses, the signals got worse, static interfered their signal often. Eventually all frequencies were opened up as an extra precaution, though not much could get through. Gavin’s was silent from interference, only Michael was able to confirm that he was fine, just bad signal, though Michael’s was really in and out as well. What they were left with were Ray, Ryan, Geoff, Jack, and a barely audible Michael. Still, all they needed to do was make sure nothing hit in their areas and listen to Geoff whenever he barked out instructions, mostly asking them to confirm a direction.

 _“I need to hear it boys, anything?”_ Geoff called out, static lingered in the call, sometimes it would spike louder than normal but for now it was stable enough.

Ray had his spyglass out, the last strike Jack reported being north east, he tried to look out that way but he saw nothing, “I don’t have any visual.” He reported in, out of curiosity he turned his gaze towards Ryan’s tower, through the blur of his lense he saw Ryan’s shadow moving through the light squares of the windows as he was trying to get a good look himself. Seconds later Ryan’s voice cut it as well.

_“Nothing.”_

_“If it does --nything we’ll fin-- out later.”_ Michael added, a little clearer at the moment. He had a point, there wasn’t much use worrying about what they couldn’t see right then. It would take a minute if it was going to do anything at all.

Ray clung to his tower as a heavy rush of wind blew through with the rain, his hand landed against the wall, radio knocking hard against the wood. Ray heard Ryan’s voice come through in response, _“What was that?”_

“Sorry…,” Ray somewhat strained to get out while he was bracing himself. His deck was slick with an overflow of rainwater so bad he didn’t want to end up slipping. It was a long fall down and he had enough issues controlling a sudden fear of heights as the tower shook from the strength of the wind, “Trying to keep up.”

 _“Ray get inside.”_ Jack told him, worried.

“I can see anything in there.” He defended, “If I go in there I can’t watch for anything.”

 _“It’s better than you getting hurt.”_ Geoff told him now but Ray wasn’t convinced, he didn’t want to just sit around and do nothing, it was his job ad this was a time they really might need him.

 _“They’re right,”_ Ryan told him now, although Ray could tell he was far more understanding about Ray’s decision, _“It’s really not a good idea to be out in this.”_

“I know,” Ray conceded, “But I can do more outside.”

Right as he finished another strong wind rushed through, this time accompanied by a loud tearing and crashing noise; the sound of wood splitting apart, and close too. It sent a rush of panic through Ray and he let of a string of curses, earning him worried remarks from the others.

 _“What happened?”_ Ryan asked, freaked out by his reaction.

“...Uh… fuck, just some tree branch getting torn off or something. I don’t know, I can’t see.” Ray told him.

_“You alright?”_

“I’m fine.”

_“Your tower okay? Generator? You look okay from here.”_

“I- one sec, I’ll check.” Ray told him, moving to the railing to peer over, hoping everything was still together, crossing fingers the outhouse wasn’t broken of all things.

Just as Ray was looking around to make sure he there wasn’t any damage, light ripped through the sky, spreading out like a web in a mere second before Ray saw a line strike down in the distance, striking at Ryan’s tower. There was a brief flash of red and the thunder was so deafening Ray’s ears went ringing and set him into a panic. He let out a loud shout in surprise, trying to step back and only managing to slip and fall down on his ass. He barely registered the sound of the faulty static through his radio and when he finally looked back up towards Ryan’s tower, the lights had gone out. He looked at his own tower making sure he was looking the right way, it was nothing but inky darkness now. The comforting beacon in the distance now dark and dreadful as the possibilities of what might have happened started to catch up to speed. His radio fizzled and crackled until finally a voice came through, but it wasn’t the one Ray wanted to hear at the moment.

 _“Geoff Rams--, communi--ting on all freq--ies, a-- firewatchers take cover in your towe--s! I repeat, Geo-- Ramsey, communicating on -- frequencies, all fi-- wa--ers take co-r in your towers! Do NOT go out-ide! Do NOT go outside. Do NOT le-- your tower. I rep--t, do not leave your tower!,”_ The message was repeated, Geoff's voice continued to relay the same message, but Ray just sat there in the water that had pooled all over the deck, shaking in shock, still staring towards Ryan’s tower. His eyes danced around the darkness, knowing that the tower was there, somewhere, but somehow forgetting exactly where. In the back of all the other emotions rushing through him he felt guilty, sick to his stomach over just the fact that he couldn’t remember exactly where the tower stood in the distance.

Another flash lit up the sky, another web like flash that spread out through the sky like cracking glass. There, to the north, his eyes spotted Ryan’s tower again for a split second. Just a black silhouette, blurred by the water that kept falling on his glasses. He couldn’t see any sign of Ryan, but he didn’t even know why he thought he might, he couldn’t even see that much normally. More thunder finally jolted him back into reality, he jumped back up, scooping up the radio, Geoff still giving off the same message over and over again, like a hurricane warning. He stood there, slowly bringing the radio closer, till he was hugging both it and himself, a small instinctual coping mechanism to calm himself even just a fraction of the way. It wasn’t until the message changed that Ray actually started to really take in the words, _“Your lives mean more than this forest.”_

_ _

With that, Ray’s legs started moving on their own, taking him inside. After all that need to keep cool, Ray suddenly felt like he was freezing. He didn’t take off his wet clothes, just silently sunk down against his door as he stared towards Ryan’s tower. He barely registered Geoff’s voice shout at something farther away from his radio, it was all chopped up anyways. He just waited, hoping for a reply.

Finally Jack said something that eased him out of the panic, _“Jesus Ryan’s lucky.”_

It caught up to Ray that he needed to ask, needed to say something, “Is Ryan okay?” His voice came out small, shaky, it reminded him of how he used to sound as a teenager and that didn’t go unnoticed. Jack’s voice became soothing fast in an attempt to reassure Ray.

_“Oh, Ray, yeah, no he’s alright. He was inside, Geoff’s got him on a back up, his other radio’s shot, something about the roof. Did the lightning strike there? Did you see?”_

“...I saw it…,” Ray shook, “I just saw it strike and everything went black there…”

_“His power’s out right now, I don’t think he can fix it right now.”_

“What do we do about that then?” Ray asked, still very concerned but marginally relieved that Ryan at least wasn’t harmed.

 _“Nothing till tomorrow, just help keep watch, stay on the line, and don’t leave your tower. No matter what, you stay inside, don’t touch any metal.”_ Jack gave the order, Ray nodded his head.

“...Okay…”

He heard Jack sigh through the radio, there was still rambling from Geoff’s line, cut static jumbles of distant shouts. He was busy anyways, that much was easy to gather, but he couldn’t do everything at once. It was unnerving honestly to just hear clippings of Geoff barking in the background. Ray tried watching out his window, he couldn’t see anything but the faint shimmer of the water rushing over the window panes against the black setting of that dark night.

 _“Hey Ray.”_ Jack captured his attention again.

“Yeah…” Ray acknowledged him quietly, his feelings of panic turning to feeling of uselessness at the moment.

_“Keep talking.”_

Ray’s brow furrowed, “What?”

_“Keep talking to me.”_

“...Why?”

_“Just do it, talk to me.”_

“About what?”

_“It doesn’t matter, anything, first thing that pops into your head. Just tell me everything you’re thinking.”_

It took Ray a minute, it seemed like a really stupid request, especially right now but eventually he managed to spit something out, “... I’m scared Ryan’s hurt-”

 _“Don’t be, he’s fine, something else.”_ Jack sharply interrupted him.

“I can’t think about anything else!” Ray yelled at him, frustrated.

 _“Yes you can,”_ Jack’s voice became stern, _“Tell me what you see outside.”_

“I can’t see anything outside! It’s pitch black out there! My windows are blurry-” A crack of thunder loudly interrupted Ray, only making him angrier and louder himself, “AND THIS STUPID FUCKING STORM IS FREAKING ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!”

_“Why?”_

“Why!? I feel fucking useless, I can’t do anything! I can’t hear anything but you and Geoff yelling, and FUCKING LOUD ASS THUNDER!”

 _“You’re not useless, you’re helping, you hear thunder. It’s really loud right? Pay attention, next time you see a flash of lightning outside count every second until you hear thunder.”_ Jack told him, it sounded like he’d lost his mind to Ray.

After debating whether that had any merit to it or not, he decided to just ignore how weird of a request that was and watch. He saw the next flash and began counting seconds, “...One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, te-” The boom of thunder rolled through again.

“...Thunder…”

_“About ten seconds, that’s two miles, it’s still close. Now Ray, I need you to keep counting like that, see lightning, start counting the seconds, and you let me know when you hear thunder.”_

Ray looked around at nothing in particular still confused, “I don’t understand.”

_“You don’t have to right now, I’ll explain it later, just do this for now. You want to help right?”_

“Yeah.”

 _“Start counting then. Michael? You still with us?”_ Jack moved on to Michael, Ray barely noticed his missing voice, it can back, barely, clips of his voice randomly in the call. At the moment, Ray couldn’t understand a word from him and he reminded himself of the task Jack just gave him, he waited for the next flash and started counting again. Twelve seconds passed, he said it out loud, letting Jack know the time between. He continued doing this for a while. Eventually he got up to sixteen seconds and Jack responded to him.

 _“Three miles away, keep going.”_ He got past twenty, _“Four miles now.”_ Michael’s voice started to get clearer at that point in the call, Ray barely registered what he was talking about though. He mentioned something about Gavin’s radio and trying to figure out what was happening on everyone else’s end. Apparently he’d been hearing the same amount from them as they had been from Michael.

Thirty seconds passed between strikes and Ray noticed that the heavy downpour lightened just a bit outside, _“Six miles.”_ Jack said, and it started to make sense. He was tracking the storm’s location to Ray, it had something to do with the time between the lightning and the thunder that Ray just couldn’t figure out right now, but slowly Jack was actually letting him know how far away the storm was getting from him. It took a long time, but the storm was moving away, and that knowledge was becoming a great comfort at the moment. He kept going like Jack said, but also listening in as Jack talked to Michael, letting him know everything, and asking him if anything had happened on his end. Eventually, as the night moved on, so did the storm.

Ray kept his count going, every now and again Jack told him how many miles. With each new mile Ray felt better and better,he rain pelting and flooding his tower fell less and less, and he heard more and more from the other’s. When the thunder became muffled in the distance and the rain became soft he stopped, no longer needing to keep count. He got up, going around to each window and looking for any signs of fire. He didn’t see any bright lights out in the woods, he didn’t see any lights at all actually, but he breathed a sigh of relief knowing that nightmare had finally passed.

 _“You alright Ray?”_ Jack asked, a little jovial now that the storm had gone.

Ray breathed a sigh, “... Yeah…”

_“Feel better now?”_

Ray moved to his bed, letting his backrest against the East wall, “Yeah…,” he took a moment to really think about what Jack convinced him to do, “...Hey Jack?”

_“Yeah?”_

“Thanks for keeping me from freaking out.”

 _“No problem, Ray.”_ Jack accepted happily, something in his voice just sounding very proud in that moment.

 _“Squad mom taking care of the baby.”_ Michael interjected, it took Ray a second to realize he was talking about Jack, _“He pulled the same trick out of his ass on me when I was first out here during a storm.”_

 _“It works though,”_ Jack gave his point in defense, _“And Geoff’s busy dealing with Ryan, gotta keep order somehow.”_

 _“I swear to god if you weren’t here we’d just be a couple of screaming kids with a drunk dad and a crazy uncle,”_ Michael said, using an odd analogy of their relationship, _“Owe it to momma Jack.”_

Ray actually managed to laugh at Michael’s weirdly detailed joke, something about the familial analogy was just odd enough to be laughable.

 _“Alright, come on guys, night’s not over,”_ Geoff came back, the static in the call had decreased, _“Keep watch, I need updates from everyone. Ray?”_

“Yeah?”

_“You staying inside?”_

“Yes… I’m inside, but how’s Ryan.”

_“He’s fine, his tower’s just down right now, no communication or lights. All lines on top of his roof got fried when lightning struck, he’ll be fixing it tomorrow. Michael, what happened on your end?”_

_“Storm’s passed. Gavin’s just got rain now, it’s moving on.”_ Michael answered, tired, _“And we’re just about ready for some sleep. This night’s gone on way too fucking long.”_

 _“Yeah…”_ Geoff agreed with a sigh, _“I’m ready for it to be over too, but stay up for another hour, at least till the rain stops. Then we can all get to sleep, that goes for all of you.”_

They all agreed, giving little tired confirmations that they understood. They fell into a calmer watch, the initial stress wearing off as the night droned on. At this point they were just ready for it all to end. Ray at one point got up and stripped off his soaked clothes, tossing them in his sink for the time being, and wrapped himself up in a bed sheet as he continued to scan the windows for changes. Occasionally he’d see brief flashes of light in the distance, lightning and thunder were far enough away to not worry him anymore but still he watched They all watched, and they all listened. The only sounds were the small pelts of rain of glass, now faint, steady static, and the sounds of soft breathing unless someone occasionally spoke. Michael of course couldn’t keep quiet forever.

_“I feel like I need a vacation after this kind of shit.”_

_“Shut the fuck up,” G_ eoff told him, there was no malicious intent behind his words, it was just casual, lighthearted, _“Your job_ is _a vacation.”_

_“I know, just saying, what about you Ray?”_

Ray shrugged, “...I’m just tired right now.”

 _“What do you say, you, me, vacation time?”_ Michael offered.

Ray smiled at the offer, “Finally take that dip in the lake?”

_“Yeah, just chill out for a while, calm down from all this mess.”_

“Alright… not tomorrow though,” Ray sighed, “Tomorrow I’m going to sleep all fucking day.”

 _“None of you are doing anything until we can all get in contact with Ryan and Gavin.”_ Jack warned them.

_“Well yeah.” Michael said like it was obvious._

_“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we can keep Gavin’s off.”_ Geoff joked with them, getting a laugh out of them all as they waited out the rest of the night.

* * *

 

Day 36

* * *

 

As much as Ray wanted to fall asleep right after the events of the storm, he’d ended up staying up till daylight. There wasn’t any threat, it was just his own paranoia and somewhat irrational fear that kept him from nodding off. The fact was, while he lay in his bed, attempting to settle, he felt unnerved not hearing from Ryan. After going to sleep hearing from Ryan every night, it was disturbing not to hear from him, that and Ray was still worried about him. Despite all the several reassurances that he was fine, thoughts kept him awake of the possibilities of what could have happened.

Eventually, once morning rolled past, out of sheer exhaustion he passed out. There was no wake up call for him, no voice to bring him back into awareness. Ray woke up, true to his word, towards the end of the day. He was hot and sweaty when he woke up, the heat and humidity being left to fester inside his tower without any attention to control the temperature. He didn’t get up and go anywhere, really all he did was set up his clothesline outside and hung up his wet clothes up there. The heat outside was ridiculously bad, to the point that if he actually had decided to go anywhere, he was pretty sure he’d have a heat stroke.

He tried to call Ryan’s signal at one point, only finding static in it’s place. Instead, he called up the others. Checking in with Geoff and Jack briefly, nothing was really going on for them. As expected, they were tired from the night before. They didn’t get the option of sleeping in after storms, their time employed out there came with small promotional duties as well which involved getting up earlier than the others. After that he called Michael up, checking whether Gavin’s radio was working properly now. Apparently Gavin had stayed up all night as well fixing it and Michael had kept him company throughout most of the ordeal. Needless to say, Michael was burnt out and had slept just about as long as Ray had in the end so Ray kept their talk pretty brief. Michael reminded him about taking a trip to the lake and eventually he promised the day after tomorrow they’d go and meet up. They both still had to wait to see whether or not Ryan would fix up his radio but it gave them something to look forward to. Neither had seen each other in person besides the first few days out here, and now that they were much closer, it would be different. There would be more meaning to it anyways.

It wasn’t till night started to take over that he finally got word from Ryan. A few minutes of choppy words he couldn’t discern a meaning to and then finally the familiar voice came through clearly enough.

 _“He-llo? Hello? Can you hear m- ow? How about now?”_ Ryan tested. Ray had opened his line, holding his radio in his hand waiting to respond.

“Yeah! Can you hear me!?”

 _“Ow, shit!”_ Ryan exclaimed, laughing, _“Not so loud.”_

“Sorry…” Ray quieted.

_“Do I sound good? Is the signal okay?”_

“Yeah, you sound fine.” Ray confirmed for him.

 _“Good, I can get off the roof then. Hold on a minute,”_ Ray was fine waiting, he was just excited to hear anything from Ryan at all, even if it was the groans and bumps of Ryan’s precarious climbing, “...Alright! Miss me Sunshine?”

Ryan exclaimed happily but Ray suddenly remembered all the worry he’d experience the night before, “You fucking scared me.”

The cheerfulness faded awkwardly from Ryan’s voice, “...Uh… yeah.. Sorry.”

Ray started to to get really heated, not even sure why, but very suddenly all sorts of pressure just started to build up and he blurted out what frustrations came up, chastising Ryan,“Don’t fucking do that, like, ever again man!”

_“What? Get struck by lightning? Yeah, no, I’m good.”_

“You scared the shit out of me!”

 _“It scared the shit out of me! You weren’t the one who’s tower got hit!”_ Ryan defended, _“My place could have caught on fire!”_

“I know! I saw it! I watched it happen!”

_“Then why are we yelling?! Why are you yelling at me!?”_

“I’m not yelling at you!”

_“Yes you are!”_

“No I’m not I’m just…,” Ray stopped, actually registering how high his voice had raised. His heart thumped heavily in his chest and suddenly, he felt a cold wet streak fall down the corner of his eye, feeling how flushed his cheeks had gotten. His will to argue fell flat as quickly as it started, he wasn’t sad or angry, “...I’m just glad you’re okay…”

Ryan’s own voice became quiet, calm, _“...I know… I know you were scared. We’re fine now.”_

Ray brought one of his knees up and leaned forward onto it, staring at the tower across the way, “... I couldn’t see anything after it hit your tower,” Ray told him, “Just a big flash, and then red sparks, and then just everything went black.”

_“Yeah, my tower just blacked out from it. The generator got some off the strike.”_

“Then you just went silent.”

_“My radio fried.”_

“I know but it still scared the crap out of me.” Ray told him, not to complain or get uptight about it, he was just saying it to say it really. He just wanted to let it be known.

 _“I know, Geoff told me you were checking in on me.”_ Ryan’s own voice sounded a bit happy about that.

“I stayed up all night for you.”

 _“You shouldn’t have done that, Sunshine.”_ Now it was Ryan’s turn to chastise Ray.

“What? Was I supposed to do, go to sleep?”

_“Yes, everything was fine.”_

“It wasn’t fine, you could have been hurt.”

_“But I wasn’t.”_

“But you could have been. You could have been killed.”

_“But I wasn’t. I’m fine, Look, Ray, these towers are pretty much the tallest things out here. When a storm rolls in, they tend to draw in the electricity, it’s not completely uncommon, it’s happened before, at other towers. It was just a violent summer storm, and it’s over now, I got all my equipment running again, we’re fine. I didn’t die, you would have definitely heard about it if I died or got hurt or anything, Geoff would be radioing a helicopter to pick me up in a heartbeat if anything happened that I couldn’t handle, I was just set back some is all.”_

Ray groaned, letting his head smack back against the wood, “... You’re going to give me a fucking heart attack…”

 _“I could say the same to you,”_ Ryan countered, _“You know how fucking scared I was when the lightning struck that you were outside? First thing I did was use my backup radio to tell Geoff to get you inside.”_

Ray’s face flushed, in all his worry over Ryan he hadn’t thought Ryan would have been worrying so much about Ray at the same time. He had been pretty stupid to be outside that night, he realized that as soon as lightning struck Ryan’s tower, “I know… I was being stupid.”

 _“No you weren’t stupid, you were just trying to do your job right. But, I mean still, it’s not worth putting yourself at risk over this sort of thing. If a fire happens, it happens, if you get hurt though that’s something way worse. Never put this job over your life, Ray.”_ Ryan told him, serious, getting out the words Ray could tell he’d been thinking over.

“...Yeah…,” Ray sighed, frustrated, “I think I agree with Michael on the whole need a vacation thing.”

 

* * *

 

Day 38

* * *

 

 

The forest had a muggy, humid weight to it now. The water now being heated from the ground and lifted back to the sky. It was gross and Ray almost wished it was all dry again except that would mean fires had a better chance of starting again. He knew it would return to that soon enough anyways. Even with all that rain apparently the woods were still too dry as is according to the others. Ray didn’t quite understand how a fire could start while everything was wet but he didn’t argue. At least for the time being the chances were slimmer and right now that meant they could take time for little meetups like he and Michael had been planning for a while.

Getting to the lake, Ray got more and more excited the closer he got. It felt like it’d been ages since they’d seen each other and Ray really wanted to see him again. To cut his trip out shorter he took the shale slide, using the better rope now that actually held him. He’d mostly avoided that area for safety reasons since the first time he’d taken that path but right now he felt confident enough to go for it. It certainly took less time that way, he reached the open meadow just before the lake by mid afternoon and rushed through the thicket path to the lake shore.

To his surprise, he saw Michael sitting on the other side of the lake, waiting. Ray’s smile went wide seeing him and he shouted to get his attention, “HEY!”

Michael looked up, surprised, but quickly scrambled to his feet leaving his backpack and items on the shore as he ran to the water giving out a loud cheer. Ray did the same, abandoning his stuff by the shore and lifting up his arms, celebrating and hollering back. They both started to take off their shoes, stripping down till they were both wearing boxers and leaving their clothes in the dirt all so they could start bolting for each other.

Ray started running through the water, being slowed down but at least this way he got to see Michael plow straight into the water and basically just fall in, not getting nearly as far as he must have thought he would. Ray just started cackling at the sight, taking it step by step as he he face palmed. Michael didn’t seem to care at all, he just got back up and started slowly making his way towards Ray now, though he still tried to run through the water till it came up to his chest. As soon as the got close enough, Michel got another burst of energy and straight up jumped at Ray, tackling him down into the water.

It was a sudden thrill from the cold of the water and the fun of another person’s presence that filled them both with adrenaline. Michael pulled the both of them back up and they sputtered, wiping water out of their faces, and laughing out of breath. They stayed their, wading in the shallow water. There were no words, just little excited pants, happy to see each other. Ray wasn’t sure how to actually react, should he say something? Should he do something? What was an appropriate thing to do?

Michael answered this for him, he got closer, reaching his hands up to Ray’s face and gently holding it. He put their foreheads together, just a simple gesture that felt so nice. Ray felt his throat tighten as it reminded him of a familiar scene he’d dreamed weeks ago. It was exactly how he’d imagined, the warmth of contact, the comfort of the physical presence. He stared back into Michael’s eyes that looked over him with such heavy affection. After a moment Ray couldn’t help himself from smiling and laughing, Michael broke out doing the same, it was so hard to just stare back so seriously.

Michael moved his head away just for a brief moment, only to lean close a moment later and press his lips to Ray’s forehead, then to both his cheeks, making him blush and laugh to hide his embarrassment. Public affections always made him nervous, even though they were alone, it still brought out his timid side. Despite this though, Ray wanted to return the gesture. Boldy letting his fight or flight reflexes take hold, acting on impulse as he reached up, planting hands on Michael’s shoulders, and leaning in to kiss his lips. It felt amazing to feel so close to another person, every inch of skin that came in contact with another’s sent electric shocks all over his body. He could map out every part of Michael he was touching, feel the exact curve to his lips, the smooth dips of his collarbone. He was real, he was there, and, for the moment, he was Ray’s. Ray removed himself from, face burning at his actions, but Michael just laughed.

He looked up to see Michael’s face had flushed some as well, “Happy to see me?”

Ray gave a few tensed laughs as well, “...Yeah, I mean, of course.”

“I’m not complaining,” Michael smiled wide, “By all means, keep going.”

Ray shifted uneasily, he’d already reached the extent of his boldness, “I thought we were out here to swim.”

“Who said that? I didn’t.” Michael chose to point out details as it suited him, “I kinda like the direction this is going. Wasn’t expecting you to pull some moves on me.”

“Shut up!” Ray cupped water in his hand and pushed it at Michael’s face, getting him to back away a bit.

Michael shook the water off his face, laughing at Ray’s reaction, his eyes lit up as they scrunched up from his shit eating grin, “Alright, fine, let’s swim!”

Before Ray could dodge him, Michael lunged for him again, getting tackled back into the water.

 

Ray honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun swimming. He had to have been very little the last time he’d played games in the water. He wasn’t sure if this was usual behavior for Michael, but today he was very playful. It was easy to join along in the fun though, wrestling around, tackling each other, or at least trying to in Ray’s case,, and hitting each other with waves of cold water made time pass by way too fast as they enjoyed themselves. Ray thought Michael might have been enjoying winning at their horseplay a bit too much sometimes considering Ray wasn’t strong enough to dunk him under in retaliation. He didn’t  mind it though, it was good to feel someone else with him, actually touching him, and the water was nice and cold, making it an enjoyable reprieve in their silly little exercise.

As the sun got lower, it was hard to believe how quickly time was passing. Ray tried to avoid thinking about it too much, but whenever he happened to glance up and see the sun was favoring the west side of the sky more and more he felt a pang in his chest knowing that eventually this day was going to end and he’d be alone again.

Ray stopped at one point as they tried to race each other through the water. Running in water is ridiculously hard to do, so much so that Ray let Michael lap him, and Ray took a moment to catch his breath and hear the protests of his legs. He stared up at the sky, the orange glow tinge starting to come in a little. They still had enough daylight for another hour or two before they’d have to go, that little comfort didn’t make it much better though.

“Ray!” Michael called to him from back by the little island in the center, he was calling him over. Ray started trudging his way back, another break from the water sounded good right about now. Every once in a while they’d stop, just sit on the little island, and Michael would drink one of the beers he brought out with him. He always offered some to Ray but he was fine with his bottle of water, he would admit by now he was getting kind of hungry though.

As Ray got back to the little island, watching his feet to make sure he wouldn’t trip on the slippery rocky areas, Michael’s arms came around him again. Ray tensed, expecting to get dunked into the water again, but this time instead of getting tossed under, he was lifted up.

Michael held him up, jostling him up a few times before he could make his arms and hips into a makeshift human seat. Ray’s arms went around him in an attempt to stabilize himself better, then settle around Michael’s neck a bit more. He laughed, not really knowing how else to respond, it seemed like a weird gesture, he just hoped he wouldn’t be suddenly thrown into the water though.

Michael didn’t make any move to drop him or throw him though. When Ray looked him in the eyes he saw how serious he was getting. He was staring back at him, looking over different areas. Ray felt his heart beat a little faster, “What is it?” Ray asked him, a bit nervously.

Michael walked him over to the island, getting close to one of the rocks that jutted out of the water like a beached whale. After a minute of shifting Ray around a little, he slowly lowered Ray onto the rock, letting it hold him more. Ray let go of Michael to support himself up on the rock but he could only really prop up his back. Michael kept a hold of his legs, just still keeping them at his hips where they’d been dangling off a minute ago. They were quiet, Ray watched as Michael just looked over him.

“It’s different, right? Feeling someone else for the first time after a long time.” Michael finally said quietly.

Ray nodded, he instantly knew what he was talking about. Since they’d been together that day it was like a void was suddenly filled up, “Yeah… it’s a bit…”

“Overwhelming?”

“Yeah,” Ray let out an almost exhausted laugh, feeling tension leave him he hadn’t realized had been building up in him, he felt light chills run up his body every now and again, “...I guess I didn’t realize how long it’s really been.”

“It’s not easy to get used to that, it’s always a bit of a shock out here when you finally get to see someone you care about.” Michael told him.

Ray’s heart thudded, it was hard to be emotionally honest all of a sudden in person but at the same time they were alone and he knew he could trust Michael, “...It scares me a bit… when I think about how alone I am out here. Does it ever-”

“Yeah, of course it does.” Michael didn’t even have to let him finish.

“I never really realized how many people or sounds there were, all the time, till they were just gone.” Ray added, Michael nodded along.

Michael moved closer, letting Ray’s legs fall to his sides as got up close enough for Ray to realize he wanted a hug. They both moved their arms around each other slowly, their cheeks and hair brushing against each other as they spent a moment like that.

“I’m going to have to leave soon…,” Michael finally said, interrupting the silence and reconfirming what Ray had been trying to ignore most of the day. He didn’t want this to end, “How do you want to spend the last hour?”

Ray didn’t want to answer that question. Truthfully, he had no answer to that question, he didn’t want to do anything but stay there right now. Timidly, he gave a small shrug against their embrace, squeezing a little tighter on accident, “... I want to stay here longer… with you.”

Michael moved himself from Ray’s hold so he could look him in the eye. Ray could see how much he felt the same, there was a sadness to his gaze. He really didn’t like the thought of this day ending either. A twitch of a smirk crossed his face, trying to mask the seriousness, “Can I get another one of those kisses?”

Ray smiled at the break in tension and leaned up, more sure this time then their first one. Michael was the one that really kissed him though, beating him to the punch as soon as he got the signal to go for it. Michael kissed a little harder than Ray expected, after a moment he got tired of keeping himself propped up. He slowly let his back lower till it went against the rock, Michael following and never breaking the kiss. Ray let his hands go up to Michael’s hair as the kiss deepened a bit more. Michael worked his tongue into his mouth, shocking Ray a little. It felt good enough to convince him against the otherwise weird feeling of someone else’s tongue moving inside him. He started picking up real quick on how take charge Michael was, he easily dominated and he was a little rough as well but more in a way that made it pretty clear it wasn’t intentional.

When they stopped they were both panting hard like they’d just spent two minutes under water and for a moment Ray wondered how long they’d been going at it. He noticed how vulnerable of a position he was in now, pinned against the rock in the water but honestly he though Michael looked more distraught. Michael was panting heavy and looking over him with tired, heavy lidded eyes. His disheveled appearance seemed to melt away in an instance once he smiled at Ray, all too pleased with himself. Ray smiled back all the same though, he felt the best he’d felt in a long time; relaxed, relieved, too satisfied for his own good.

“I should have gone to summer camp.” Ray told Michael, getting a weird look.

“Why the hell would you want to go to summer camp?”

“Are you kidding me? Have you seen the amount of action I’ve gotten out here in these woods in like a week? Little me would have slayed it in summer camp.”

Michael started humming a laugh at him, burying his forehead into Ray’s shoulder, “Jesus Christ Ray… The fucking summer camp “slayer”.”

“I’d slay you.” Ray childishly countered.

Michael looked up at him, a very skeptical look on his face, “Uh-huh, sure.” His voice trailed in sarcasm.

Ray just shrugged, “It’s working so far.”

Michael brought a hand up and messed with Ray’s wet hair for a minute, he hadn’t even realized how long his hair was starting to get till then, it was just a weird feeling he got when Michael’s fingers took longer to move through his hair than he thought they should have. Michael sighed, looking Ray over, his smile half faded, back to thinking of how little time they had left, “You can slay me some other time, we don’t have that long.”

Ray frowned back but had to admit he was right, it was better to stop while they were ahead, ending the day frustrated over each other wouldn’t do either of them any favors. Ray sat up, slouching forward, “What do you want to do then?”

Michael looked around, eyes settling on the the rocks of the little island, a playful smile creeped on his face, “I want have some more fun.”

Ray scrunched his face up in confusion and watched as Michael moved away and started to climb up the tall rocks behind him, “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see.” Michael told him climbing up to the tallest point.

Ray watched him, eyeing the situation, “Don’t fall.”

“I’m not going to fall,” Michael reassured him as got up to the highest point, he looked over to the water, searching for something Ray couldn’t figure out. Finally Michael pointed out an area, “I’m going to jump.”

“What?” Ray half laughed, “Dude, the water’s shallow, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“No, it’s fine, right there’s a deep spot,” Michael pointed out again, “Water’s deep there if you jump far enough.”

Ray didn’t believe it but he figured Michael was going to do it no matter what he said.

“Watch this,” Michael told him getting what little of a running start that he could before jumping, letting out a loud holler as he went, “WOOHOO!!”

Sure enough, Michael hit the spot he’d pointed to, water splashed everywhere as he canon balled into the lake. Ray held up an arm to deflect the water, and watched, waiting to see if Michael would come out all right. Only a second later and Michael came back out of the water, soaking wet and grinning like a moron.

“Told you I’d make it!” Michael rubbed it in his face, “Come on, you gotta try that.”

Ray gave him an incredulous look, “Fuck no, I have shit to live for.”

“Aw, come on,” Michael whined, “Just one jump, it’s fun.”

Ray watched Michael  come back over towards him, climbing up the first part of the rocks again, waiting for Ray, “Knowing my luck I’d end up dead.”

“You won’t end up dead, the water’s just the right depth, you get in, you kick off the ground, and you’re right back up. Come on, at least climb up with me.”

Ray sighed, “Alright fine,” He relented, getting up and letting Michael help keep him steady as he tried to climb up, “If I die I’m going to haunt your ass.”

“At least your afterlife’s going to be interesting.” Michael joked, he helped him get up to the top, offering his hand to pull Ray up as he occupied the last foothold.

There wasn’t much room at the top of it and now the rock was wet from Michael climbing it twice. Ray didn’t feel safe, he already knew it was a bad idea and his stomach churned with a sudden heights problem. That was strange to him, he could climb his rickety old tower, no problem, this couple feet jump into water bothered him though, “Yeah, okay, nope.” Ray concluded, moving to step down.

“Whoa wait, hold on,” Michael put a hand on him to stop him, “Come on, you’re already up here.”

“I’m not jumping,” Ray told him, “I’ll end up killing myself if I jump, I don’t like being up here man.”

“It’s fine, you just saw me jump.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think you should jump either. Not like I can stop you though.” Ray told him, moving to go down again.

“Hey, at least watch me do the jump again.” Michael asked him.

Ray pursed his lips, annoyed, he really didn’t like this idea. With him up there Michael had even less room, he raised his arms up in defeat though at the sight of Michael’s puppydog eyes, looking for attention, “Fine, go ahead, if you break your neck that’s on you.”

Ray tried to shift as far back as he could to give Michael some space to gun it, which wasn’t much, but he still tried to adjust himself out of the way. Michael didn’t care, he was too busy preparing his jump. Just as he was getting ready to go for it, Michael’s arms swung back for his momentum build up and slapped at Ray, knocking him off balance as Michael went forward.

Ray let out a shaky startled noise as he tried to rebalance himself on the rock. Michael was taken off guard, distracted by Ray his foot slipped out from under him and instead of running his jump, he ended up tumbling off instead, letting out a loud grunting noise as he toppled into a shallow area of water instead of the safe zone. Ray’s arms flailed before he stabled himself, stopping his own descent in time to see Michael’s. He waited, watching, panicked then saw Michael getting back up with a pained groan, proceeding to fall back down into the water.

“Michael!” Ray called out as he scrambled to get down from the Rocks. He waded over as fast as he could, tripping on rocks and lake mud in the process. Michael had his teeth gritted as he tried to stand up from the water, only to fall back down, something was wrong with him, “Fuck man, are you alright?”

Michael glanced at him for a moment, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” He lied, his voice was strained, “Just landed on my ankle weird, it’ll pass.”

Ray glared at him before reaching over and helping Michael up, only for him to let out a pained groan and shake, nearly making them both topple over.

           Ray brought him back down gently, “Fucking liar, you're hurt,” Michael stubbornly said nothing in response. Ray, being just as stubborn pulled Michael over to the shallow of the little island and up one of the low rocks, Michael griping the whole way, “Did you break something? Break a leg, a foot? What?”

         “No,” Michael gripped at him, “It’s just my ankle… I just twisted it.”

         “Twisted it bad enough you can't stand on it,” Ray pointed out, “I told you that wasn't a good idea.”

“I get it, I get it, you don’t have to rub it in.” Michael admitted grumpily, rubbing at his arm where some of his skin had gotten scraped up as well, though that was the least of his problems at the moment.

“Just sit here a minute, I’ll go radio someone.”

Before Ray could leave Michael there he was gripped and yanked back to the spot, “No don’t!”

“I have to,” Ray looked at him incredulously, getting riled up out of worry for him, “You’re hurt you idiot!”

Michael gave him a pleading look, his usual stubbornness faded. Ray felt bad about his choice of words there, no matter how true they might be at the moment. Michael wasn’t being standoffish anymore, there was a desperation at the threat of calling someone else, or at least Michael seemed to take it as a threat.

“Just don’t,” Michael was more quiet, “Please don’t.”

Ray let out a sigh, calming himself down and leveling with Michael, “I get it, you don’t want to show weakness, but… look man, we’re in the middle of a lake, and you can’t walk. I don’t have any medical training, I don’t know how bad you hurt yourself, you might not know how bad you hurt yourself. I need to let someone know,” He tried to put it all out there in a simple and to the point way of reasoning, “Besides, what if this is bad? What about the others? How will they take this if they find out you’re hiding something like this from them?”

Michael bit at his lip, not meeting Ray’s eyes, he finally muttered a frustrated “Fuck” under his breath, letting go of Ray, “If you tell them, they’ll send me home.”

Ray’s eyes widened a little as it made more sense now. He wasn’t trying to be tough, just trying to stay with his group. Ray went quiet, unsure now how to handle this.

“I’ll have to go away for the rest of the summer, without them.” Michael told him, he looked back up at Ray, his face full of regret at the moment.

Ray was torn, he didn’t want to do that to Michael, but at the same time they couldn’t just sit there and do nothing. He scratched his head gave in to Michael’s pleas, “...Okay… What the hell do we do then?”

He looked up at the sky, it was getting dark fast now. Michael looked just as clueless.

“... I guess I’ll have to carry you back to your tower…” Ray concluded.

“No, you can’t, it’s too late,” Michael told him, “I only get here fast because my area has a lot of climbing shortcut. Getting around all of that would take hours, we don’t have hours.”

Ray huffed, they had to go somewhere, “... Alright then… I’ll take you back to mine.”

 


	9. Fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look I didn't upload this one over a month later, that's pretty good in my book. Suck it midterms! Anyways, time for some fun in this chapter, and next chapter we'll start with the serious shit. Enjoy the last glimpse of loveliness before stuff really heats up. I gotta stop with the fire puns, as if the damn titles weren't bad enough.

 

“Hurargh!” Ray exclaimed a groan in his efforts to lift Michael out of the water properly and onto his back. It was difficult to lift him but at least it was easier than trying to stumble across the lake shouldering him, all attempts at that nearly ended in in them both falling over. Ray slowly trudged them both over to his side of the shore, “...You haven’t… been stealing someone else’s supplies… from the supply drop… have you?”

“What? No…,” Ray could feel Michael’s face against him scrunch in confusion, “... Did you just call me fat?”

“...I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Ray smiled to himself.

“Asshole.” Michael concluded.

“...Fatass.” Ray huffed back.

“Weakling.”

Ray started to chuckle, though it was barely audible against his panting. As he reached the shore, he came down on his knees, Michael rolled off of him and into the dirt skirting the edge. He grabbed his leg, lowering it out in front of him slowly. Ray took a minute to recover himself, looking over Michael’s ankle while he had a moment. It had started to swell and bruise already, “You sure you didn’t break anything?”

Michael flexed his foot slowly, grimacing, “...It’s not broken… I just sprained it bad…”

“Did you tear anything?”

“I don’t think so… I think I just landed on it too hard on a bad angle. Just needs time.” Michael concluded, rubbing at the sore muscles.

Ray nodded, getting up, “Good… I know nothing about first aid…”

Michael smirked at him, “Don’t sell yourself short, you’d probably make a great nurse.”

Ray dismissed him with a wave of his hand, heading back into the water, “You go on thinking that.”

“Where are you going?”

“To get your shit. All your crap is on the other side.” Ray pointed out.

Michael shook his head, “Just leave it.”

Ray looked back at him like he was nuts, “Just leave all your stuff there? Your clothes?”

“It’ll be fine, I’ll get them when I go back.” Michael reassured him.

“Someone could steal your stuff.” Ray argued.

“No one’s going to be out here right now, not after all that rain, it’s fine.”

Ray gave up on the argument, it wasn’t worth it at this point to keep trying to fight about it. If Michael wanted to end up in his underwear for a day then that was his decision at this point. He bent down again, tossing Michael’s arm over his shoulder and pulling him along until they were upright, “Alright… let’s get moving… think you can walk on the one leg?”

“Yeah, I can keep up… just as long as we don’t have to walk through any more water.”

With that Ray grabbed up his own backpack in one hand with Michael hanging on his other and they started slowly moving back into Ray’s territory. He decided to take the long way around, mostly because that was their only option. There was no way Ray could drag Michael up a rock wall or scale a shale slide with him so the Five Mile Creek route was the way to go. At least it was relatively flat land.

The sky got dark faster than either of them expected it to, it served as a reminder to them just how long it was taking them to get back. Luckily Ray at least knew this way back pretty well at this point with all his trips out to the creek and the lake. There was just no way to move fast enough, not when they had to keep stopping to catch their breath and rest for a moment.

They stopped at the stone medicine wheel close to his tower for one last rest, he set Michael down on one of the stones and sat himself down in the grass. They were both covered in sweat and exhausted.

Michael looked around at the landmark they’d stopped at, “If only this could actually fix me up.”

Ray followed Michael’s gaze, looking around the place, then back to Michael, “How’re you feeling?”

He rubbed at his ankle, there was a very noticeable bruise on it now, angry looking, “Sore… very sore.”

“How’s it feel on the ground?” Ray asked him.

Michael tested it, immediately wincing when he put pressure on it, “Nope… not good…”

Ray sighed, “Are you sure you don’t want me to radio the others.”

“No.” Michael said incredulously.

“But… maybe they can help you, what if this is bad? What if you actually need a real doctor and we just ignore this? What then?”

“It’s not that bad, I just need to keep off of it for a bit. It’s not like I haven’t fucked up my ankle before.” Michael started to laugh at Ray’s worrying but stopped as he realized how Ray stared at him, clearly not believing him. Michael sighed, “Hey, come here.”

Ray got up onto his knees with a groan and shifted closer to him until he was close enough that Michael could pull him in. It was clearly just supposed to be a hug but it threw ray off balance enough to bring the both of them down into the grass. Michael laughed, breaking a smile across Ray’s face. Michael’s arms wrapped around his back tightly, stopping him from getting back off.

“Your ankle-”

“Is not going to get broken from a hug,” Michael stopped him, “You worry too damn much, just enjoy the moment.”

“I need to get you inside.” Ray reminded him.

“You in a hurry to climb up a tower with me?”

Well, when he put it like that, “...Fine you win.”

“Stars are nice.” Michael loosened his grip some Ray could turn around, he still kept his arm around him though, now resting on his stomach. Ray let his head fall into the gap between Michael’s chest and arm, looking up at the stars. They’d already started appearing in the sky, they came out so much earlier out where there were hardly any lights.

“...Ryan likes to stargaze too.” Ray told him.

“Yeah, I know,” Michael agreed, “We sit outside like this sometimes, when it gets colder and it gets dark quicker.”

Ray smiled, “That sounds nice.”

Ray could feel Michael’s body rattle as he quietly chuckled. He brought his hand up to rest it in Ray’s hair, “I bet we’ll do that this fall, we always do something like that at least once.”

They sat there until Ray felt a chill to the air, the humidity fading for the moment, reminding them both they were still only wearing boxers from earlier. Neither of them wanted to stop, least of all Michael, but it was starting to get really uncomfortable outside. With one last stretch Ray lifted Michael back up against his shoulder and climbed the hill up to his tower.

The stairs had never looked so intimidating. They both let out a loud groan as they looked up the high descent but it was either take the stairs or spend the night in the dirt. Hesitantly, they started to climb, progress going very slowly. The sudden fear of heights returned with a vengeance, it was far more unnerving to climb the stairs with a wobbly person hanging of his arm.

“You climb this shit everyday?” Michael asked him at one point.

“You don’t?” Ray panted.

“Hell no, my tower’s not this tall.”

“...Well, lucky you.”

When they reached the top they both gave exhausted, breathless cheers, sounding like two drunken college students that just snuck into their dorm late. Ray kicked his broken door open and brought Michael inside, practically tossing him onto the bed. He flipped on the lights, hissing as his eyes were practically blinded trying to adjust.

Michael was already looking around from the bed, checking out the place. His eyes caught on the makeshift clothesline hovering over the kitchen area, covered with Ray’s wet clothes from the storm, “Looks like you’ve made yourself at home.”

Ray shrugged, tossing his backpack down against the bed and sitting himself down, head lightly hitting the window. He slumped over, running his hands over his face, tired and frustrated, “... Have to make things work somehow.”

“I think you’re a little more creative then I am, I usually just put my close on the railings, put a rock or something on them so they don’t move. Never thought about using ropes.” Michael admitted.

Ray smirked, “I bet we’re both doing it wrong. Just a pair of dumb city boys.”

Michael nodded, “Yeah… you’re probably right,” Ray eyed Michael who was just looking around without any real focus. Michael eventually looked back towards him, catching his look with confusion, “...What?”

Ray was hesitant to speak but he was really curious, and now seemed like a good time to actually talk, now that they were in person and not talking over the radio, “Why did you come here?”

He raised an eyebrow, “...Uh… you brought me here, I twisted my ankle, take your pick I thought it was obvious.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Ray brought their conversation back to seriousness, “I meant why did you come out to the Shoshone? Why’d you take this job?”

Michael took in a slow breath, face instantly becoming more exhausted. He was quiet and for a moment, Ray wondered if he’d really overstepped his boundaries. He was just about to apologize when Michael opened his mouth to speak again, “...I don’t usually like to talk about that.”

“...Sorry…”

“It’s okay, I mean, might as well get to know me some,” Michael reassured him. He craned his neck back, head thumping against the glass, “... A few years ago I came out of the closet, basically. I met this guy at a bar back in Jersey, you know, hit it off, he gave me his number, and I thought why the fuck not. It was just to kind of… experiment at the time. He was just very different and I was interested to see what would happen.”

“What happened?”

“A hang out turned into a date, one date turned into a few more. Next thing I know I’ve got a boyfriend and my folks want to know where the hell I keep disappearing to, do I have a girlfriend, we want to meet her, and I cracked under the pressure. I came right out,” Ray watched as Michael’s eyes glossed over, his mouth twitched against his frown, when he spoke again his voice was slightly pinched like there was a lump in his throat, “I guess you can imagine how that went.”

Ray frowned, remembering Ryan had mentioned family troubles. Michael let his head roll to the side to looked towards Ray, “You know, I really didn’t think things would change that fast. Just like that, my family suddenly hated me… and you know, in my head, it was this long, nightmare of yelling at each other but in reality… it was only about three hours… if it was even that. How crazy is that? One minute, you’re family loves you, they get excited you’re out doing things in the world, next minute they fucking hate you. Just a few words and everything falls apart… I’m not their son anymore, it’s like I was a stranger that just barged into their house.”

“... So you left…” Ray offered quietly.

Michael slumped down even further, “...Yeah… I left that night. Not that I really had a choice, it was made really clear that I didn’t belong there anymore.”

“...What happened to the guy?” Ray asked.

Michael actually chuckled, his laugh slowly faded into a groan though, “Stayed with him about two weeks after all that shit, living in his apartment. Caught him cheating on me with some other piece of trash he just picked up at a bar. I guess he got tired of me playing the virtuous virgin act, I dunno, glad I didn’t fuck him really. I should have realized he’d be that kind of scumbag.”

“And that’s when you came out here?”

“Not at first, it’s why I left Jersey though,” Michael explained, “I left town and hitchhiked my way all over for a bit. Very different lifestyle but… okay, it was both good and bad for me, I needed the space but at the same time I had absolutely no one. No help, no one to really talk to, just kept moving, living in cheap ass hotels, getting a job for a month or two then moving on again. This job was just a stroke of luck, I saw a flyer on a flagpole offering the opportunity, they were shorthanded one summer.”

Ray nodded along, giving a small smile, “And now you’re here.”

“And now I’m here.” Michael smirked back at him, “And so are you.”

Ray hummed in agreement, “Just another stroke of luck.”

Michael shrugged at him, “This place is pretty lucky I guess.”

“Thanks for telling me.” Ray meant it, genuinely, he felt he really understood Michael a lot more than just their usual playful talks let on.

“No problem,” Michael told him, “It gets a little easier every time I tell it.”

“Maybe it bothers you less.”

Michael shook his head, “... No… I think it’s more because I have a new family now.”

Ray let himself lean against Michael’s shoulder, he gave a small laugh and leaned back against him, “Was it any easier becoming part of this one?”

“...Yeah… I think so. Why? How do you feel about it?” Michael asked him in turn.

Ray swallowed thickly, trying to think how he really felt about it all and what words he could use to describe it, “I feel like everything’s changing, but, I dunno, out here it’s like we’re frozen in time but we keep moving,” Ray listened to Michael hum along, listening to him, “...I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I belong more than I have here… or… maybe not here, but with you guys. I’ve kind of realized… I don’t know… I guess I’ve never really had true friends or actually felt real love before.”

He felt a hand come up and softly clasp him by the shoulder. Michael gave him a small comforting squeeze. Ray was pulled in much closer to Michael and he could barely see Michael’s face pressed so close against his. He saw Michael was smiling, his lips were softly set and shaking a little, like his smile was fragile, “You really mean that?”

Ray gave a small nod, as much of one as he could manage. He nuzzled his face in closer to Michael’s, he felt relaxed like this, not embarrassed or timid really, “I love you… I love Ryan… I love all of you. It’s different then I’ve ever felt before but… I guess that’s a good thing… I’m not upset by it, I’m happy… I’m really happy.”

Michael’s head turned to plant a kiss on the crown of Ray’s head, “I love you too Ray. We all do. We’re slowly getting to know you, mostly through Ryan but… Everyone’s so excited, to meet you, talk to you, really know you. I just got so lucky I’m the one who got to see you in person first.”

Ray couldn’t help but smile wide, and Michael jostled his shoulder playfully, getting another laugh out of him. Ray looked up at Michael, finally able to get an inch or two away. This time neither of them were shocked or asking permission, they both just let their lips meet. It was so easy to forget about everything going on when they were so distracted with each other but when the sharp sound of static startled them out of their dreamlike state a chill ran up Ray’s spine, like he’d just been caught red handed. They separated, though Ray didn’t move, he watched at Michael’s eyes went to Ray’s backpack.

 _“Ray, come in,”_ It was Ryan’s voice, they were still, stunned really, _“Ray, I need you to pick up your radio.”_

The sound of urgency finally got Ray to move. Michael let go of him so he could stand up and rummage through his backpack looking for his radio. He looked at Michael for help but all he got was a shrug.

Ray clicked on his radio, “Yeah, hey Ryan.” He tried to act casual but he knew he sounded fake.

 _“Is everything alright?”_ Ryan asked. Ray’s heart started pounding in fear, he looked at Michael, who looked just as wide eyed. Michael put his fingers to his lips, telling Ray to keep quiet about him. Ray nodded back.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.”

_“Where are you?”_

“I’m back in my tower, I got back kinda later than I expected to. Me and Michael spent a long time at the lake you know.” Ray tried to keep it just like any other conversation but he was internally panicking. He kept his eyes fixed on Ryan tower, seeing the bright lights on in the distance.

 _“Ray, are you sure you’re alright.”_ Ray didn’t like that tone Ryan had, he sounded like a dad egging a confession out of a child.

“What? Yeah, no, everything’s good,” Ray glanced at Michael who was giving him a worried look. Ray shrugged at him, “Why?”

_“Ray, I can see your tower.”_

“Yeah, don’t remind me. What is this because I’m in my boxers, I thought we agreed you’d lay off on the peeping old man.” Ray tried to joke his way out of the discussion, it was not working.”

 _“Ray two people do not live in your tower so either someone is with you or you made a very realistic puppet, not saying you couldn’t do that but it’s pretty unlikely.”_ Ryan called him out.

Ray clenched his teeth, he looked at Michael searching for an answer. Michael sighed, “... Give it here,” Ray looked at him like he was crazy but Michael just waved him closer until he let him have it. He grimaced before he clicked the radio on, “...Hey Ryan.”

_“Michael?”_

“Yep…”

_“You’re in Ray’s tower?”_

“Yeah… I am.”

 _“What’s wrong?”_ Ryan immediately knew something was wrong. Ray sat back down, watching Michael move the radio away from his face as he mouthed out curses.

“Nothing.”

 _“Bullshit,”_ Ryan called him out, _“You wouldn’t be at Ray’s tower if this were nothing. You never skip out.”_

Michael groaned, “So what, I can’t spend some extra time with Ray?”

 _“Don’t play dumb, you know we’re not allowed to stay more than twelve hours away from our towers, and that’s Geoff being generous. What’s going on.”_ Ryan was serious, almost aggressive.

Michael sighed, “Alright fine… just, can we keep this between the three of us, alright.”

 _“What have you involved Ray in?”_ Ryan asked, _“Why is he lying for you?”_

“Nothing, look, he didn’t do anything but help alright. It’s just… I told him not to call any of you.” Michael admitted.

Ryan calmed down more after hearing how childlike Michael’s voice was growing, _“Tell me what happened and we’ll see whether I need to let the others know.”_

Ray and Michael exchanged glances but Michael waved to him that it would be alright, “...I fell at the lake.”

_“And…”_

“And I landed bad on my ankle. It’s twisted pretty bad.” Michael finally admitted, “... Ray was nice enough to drag my “fat ass” all the way back to his tower for the night.”

_“Michael…”_

“It’s not that bad, I just need to stay off of it for a bit. Tomorrow I’ll be back in my tower, I swear.” Michael reassured Ryan, “Just don’t tell the others, you know Geoff’s going to send me back to town if he thinks I’m hurt, it’s nothing, really.”

They both heard Ryan sighing, debating what he should do, _“... Michael… be very honest with me. Don’t just lie to me so you can avoid having to leave, you know this is serious. Are you sure you didn’t break anything or tear anything?”_

Michael bit his lip, Ray could see the internal conflict he was having with himself but at the same time, Ray was relieved, he could tell Michael was leaning towards being honest, “...It still hurts too much for me to tell, but I really don’t think it’s that bad. It’s just like any other time I’ve sprained my ankle, it just collapsed under me when I landed.”

They could hear Ryan huff, annoyed and stressed, they both waited to hear the final verdict, _“Alright, fine, I’ll stay quiet.”_

“Yes!” Michael cheered only for Ryan to interject again.

 _“BUT! You’re going to keep talking to me around the clock for the next few days when you get back to your tower, you’re going to tell me how your ankle is, and if it isn’t getting any better or if it starts getting bad at all we’re telling Geoff.”_ Ryan warned him, making the best out of the situation for everyone involved. At least it was a fair bargain.

“I’ll take it.” Michael conceded.

_“And Ray…”_

Ray stiffened, he’d just allowed himself to smile, happy that Michael had been let off easy and that they’d still get him help if things went over badly, now he was back to feeling that chill up his spine as Ryan’s serious scolding nature turned towards him. Michael went ahead and just opened the line, “...Yeah…”

 _“Thanks for looking after that idiot.”_ He was surprised at the sudden change of tone, _“But next time don’t lie someone if you think it’s serious, just tell someone. Same goes to you Michael, just tell us. I know you hate the idea of having to go back to town for the rest of the summer but it’s better than ending up with something broken, or an infection, or worse.”_

Michael rolled his eyes at Ryan’s annoyance, “Yes, sir.” He responded sarcastically but gave Ray a smirk and a wink.

 _“And you better be back in your tower tomorrow or I will say something.”_ Ryan warned him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Michael agreed dismissively, “Relax Ryan, you act like I’m stealing Ray from you.”

“That’s not the issue here.” Ryan replied bluntly.

“Joking Ryan, I’ll leave tomorrow bright and early,” Michael confirmed that he got the message, “In the meantime can I just enjoy a night with our new boyfriend?”

Ray’s face heated up, that was still strange to hear.

“Alright, fine, you just put me on edge is all. Just stay out of anymore trouble.”

“Doubt we’ll be doing anything too outrageous, considering I can’t walk right now.” Michael reminded him.

“We both know how much trouble you can get into sitting in a room.”

“Yeah we do.” Michael gave a suggestively reply.

“...Goodnight.” Ryan replied unamused.

“Good night.” They both replied before Michael shut off the radio, tossing it to the side on the bed. He looked back towards Ray and suddenly they both started to laugh. Ray felt like he was a ten year old getting caught red handed and getting off easy.

“So about that whole don’t tell anyone thing.”

Michael let out a groan, “There’s just no getting past him!”

“Does he normally pay that much attention?” Ray asked.

Michael gave him a smirk, “Only when you’re hiding something, he knows, doesn’t matter if he should have an idea about whatever you’re doing, he just knows. Every goddamn time,” He lamented, “Good thing about Ryan though, he’ll sometimes let you get away with shit, because most of the time he doesn’t give a damn.”

“Seemed to give a damn about you.”

“Yeah well, he also knows I don’t fuck around.”

“I don’t know, that room comment at the end there…”

Michael grinned at him, “Shut the fuck up, you don’t even know the trouble I can cause in a room.”

“If it’s anything like earlier, I fear for your life.” Ray commented with plenty of sass.

In response, Michael leaned in close to him again, Ray let him close in on his neck, getting a shock when he felt teeth nip at him. Michael’s voice became low and playful, “It’s way better than that.”

Ray let out a small moan and laughed pushing Michael away, “Are you actually trying to get into my pants right now?”

“Don’t really have to try, you’ve been in your underwear all day.”

Ray gave him an unamused stare, “You know what I mean. I thought you were just getting emotional on me at the lake earlier.”

“I was,” Michael grinned, “But now that we have some time…”

“You’re fucking injured, I had to drag you all the way up my tower and you’re trying to get some?” Ray mused, lighthearted, “Does this really seem like a good time to feed your labido?”

“I have sex with four guys,” Michael held up his hand showing four fingers for emphasis, “On the reg. I’m always down for some fun.”

Ray raised an eyebrow at him and Michael shrugged, “Alright, and yeah, it’s been a while for me. Bit frustrated, I’ll admit it,” Michael raised his hands up in defeat looking Ray over, “And I’ve been looking forward to getting this close to you ever since we all started talking about you being with us.”

Ray felt nervous again, Michael was very bold when it came to things like this. He wasn’t really afraid to just bluntly put it out there how he felt, something Ray admired about him to be honest. He wished he could be just as open but still found himself hesitating, “I mean… I want to be close to you too-”

“Hey, I get it, you’re not ready. Don’t worry, I wasn’t trying to be pushy, I’m not going to jump you. Just putting up the offer.”

Ray rubbed at his arm, “No, I’m just… I’m not experienced with any of this at all. I haven’t had sex with one guy, let alone four… that actually kinda terrifies me.”

“Well, you don’t have to. Trust me, terrified me to think about that too.” Michael agreed.

“And… I know this is probably weird for you since you’re so comfortable with the… multirelationship, polygamy thing you guys have going on but… I don’t know… even earlier at the lake, we were having fun, it felt good to feel like I was with you-”

“You were with me, you still are.”

“I mean relationship wise, like… like I could be yours and you could be mine,” Michael went silent as he listened to Ray’s concerns, “That… it felt amazing to feel like that, to feel you, and kiss you, but at the same time… I feel like I’m cheating on someone-on Ryan. Some part of this still feels wrong and I know you guys keep saying it will and it goes away but it still kinda bothers me.”

Michael moved his hands to hold on to Ray’s arms, thumbs lightly moving back and forth against his skin, Ray looked down at the hands there, warm and comforting, “Ray, you’re with us now, there’s nothing wrong with taking things a bit slow. It’s never comfortable at first, but at the same time, if you don’t give anyone else in the group a chance you’ll never feel comfortable with any of us,” Michael’s words hit Ray, he knew he was right, he’d been practically avoiding the others compared to how close he was with Ryan. It wasn’t fair on them or himself not giving them a real chance, “And you should be getting some affection, you know.”

Ray’s eyebrows raised, defeated, he certainly didn’t deny that he enjoyed the time they’d been spending together, “That would be nice.”

“Hey,” Michael got Ray to look his way, he saw Michael’s face growing red, “Look, I know you and Ryan are more special and all, I mean he’s pretty much your go to. But, we’re all a part of this group relationship and I mean, while I’m here for the night, we could, you know, do some things.”

“What things could we do?”Ray asked, eyebrow quirking at him. It was a little amusing to see Michael get a bit flustered, he’s always been so straightforward, him getting embarrassed was just out of place really.

“Nothing you don’t want to,” Michael made a point of putting that first, “But, if you’ve never been with a guy, maybe now’s the time to get some practice in. Smaller stuff. You liked kissing me at the lake, you like me on your neck just a minute ago. You’re more comfortable than you think really, but I can help you get used to a bit more, you know.”

Michael leaned closer to him again, arms moving down on either side of Ray, causing Ray to lean back some. Ray became flustered easily but he didn’t want this to stop. Michael may be bold but he didn’t make him uncomfortable, he made Ray feel very relaxed actually, his suggestions made him curious and excited. He was just plain nervous, as he had been most of this day. Without knowing what to say in these sorts of situations, Ray looked into Michael’s eyes, serious and thoughtful, and felt at ease when he simply nodded his head.

With just that lead in Michael surged forward on him again, making Ray lay all the way down now. Letting Michael take charge, he had a feeling even if he wanted to try attempting being the dominant one Michael would still find a way to overcome him there. In an instance Michael was ruling over him in the kissing battle and briefly Ray wondered if Michael thought he was a bad kisser but at the same time, he figured Michael would already let him know and told him how to be better if he did think so. When he broke apart Ray started feeling dazed having forgotten to really breath. He was brought back to the shock he’d had earlier when Michael rebit the same spot he’d played with earlier on Ray’s neck. Ray gave a little moan again at it, it felt good for some reason, still hurt a little, but that faded away. Michael stayed around there, sucking at different parts of his neck. It quickly became one of those moments that Ray was grateful he didn’t have the kind of job that involved seeing people on a regular basis because he knew that there were going to be marks there the next day.

Despite this more ravenous action, Michael was somehow gentle with his approach, or at least more gentle than Ray had been expecting. Michael’s hands gently stroked his arms soothingly, tracing his skin, a gesture more intimate than he thought he’d ever really felt. Michael release his neck, satisified enough by the keening noises Ray had started to make, now being replaced with a sad little whine from feeling discarded right as things were starting to get going.

Michael smiled down at him, far too satisfied for his own good and panting, “Ever had someone try foreplay on you?” Ray slowly shook his head, Michael grin went wider, “This should be a fun experience for you then, gonna go ahead and warn you though, the ankle situation’s gonna make me give a bit of a lackluster performance. Can’t really get on my knees for you.”

Michael’s eyebrows raised suggestively and Ray let out a tired laugh, “Excuses so early?”

“Alright, if you can still make jokes I haven’t done a good enough job shutting you up yet,” Michael took his words as a challenge, shifting himself properly on Ray’s little cot. He laid down next to Ray, forcing them both to resituate until they were interlocked with each other both with their arms and legs, though Michael let his damaged ankle lay out away from the entanglement they were now in. One of Michael’s arms went low enough to pick up right by the butt and bring him closer still till their hips were flush against each other. Ray let out a tiny sound shock, he’d forgotten that they were both still in only their underwear from earlier and with this proximity they could both feel everything going on underneath the fabric. Michael’s hand actually gave Ray’s butt a nice squeeze for good measure making him even more flustered than he already was but soon it made its way gently back up to the base of Ray’s spine, “Come on, Ray, eyes up here with mine.” 

Ray looked up, he hadn’t realized he’d looked away but he met Michael’s eyes, clearly heavy lidded and excited with his own hazy eyes. Just the contact, the ability to feel real physical skin to his own was giving him a contact high of some sort. He felt himself wanting more and more with each new little brush against him.

Michael pressed his lips to Ray’s forehead again, breath growing more labored and Ray couldn’t really tell what he was planning but he trusted him. He knew that whatever he had a mind to do, it wouldn’t be going beyond any boundaries Ray would have. Michael’s voice took on a lustful undertone as he stared back at Ray, determined to keep eye contact, but his words wounded so innocent at the same time, “I’m going to love you tonight.”

His words sent a shiver up Ray’s spine and with that Michael slowly moved his hips against Ray’s, instantly getting a reaction. Ray’s mouth dropped open, a breath caught in his throat. His arms went up to Michael’s curls, grabbing his hair as Michael slowly gave another thrust against him. Michael gave a fierce snarl to Ray’s reactions, getting excited from the neediness. With another Ray gasped and buried his face into Michael’s neck.

Michael set a slow pace, smiling into Ray’s curls, he brought his up from Ray’s arm and into his hair. His fingers threaded through hair down to the nape of Ray’s neck, only making him shiver again, “Feeling good?”

“...Mmmhmm.” Ray hummed back. His arms moved to Michael shoulders, holding himself closer, he tightened his legs around Michael’s. The physical contact and friction between them was unbelievably pleasing. It relaxed him and drove him crazy at the same time, sending all sorts of signals through him. This little trial into a more intimate interaction was starting to get him heated, he’d already started losing control of his voice.

Michael’s humping against him sped up and Ray let out a small moan with each thrust, feeling himself hard against Michael. It was all interrupted however when Ray felt Michael’s hand leave his hair and start feeling around the sheets, looking for something.

“Wh-what… ohh g-… what are you doing?”

The click of his radio sent a cold chill up Ray’s spine, he leaned back from Michael, seeing the radio in his peripherals. Michael gave a particularly rough thrust against him causing Ray to keen again, letting his voice out again.

 _“...Jesus who am I hearing?”_ Ryan’s voice came on, confused.

“Ryan… you secure?” Michael’s voice strained out, “I got someone here who needs a little encouragement I think.”

Ray’s face burned at the embarrassment, he hid his face against Michael, “N-no, don’t call- not Ryan.”

 _“Fuck… yeah… yeah, I’m secure.”_ Ryan answered, he sounded like he was shaking off the shock.

“Turn it off.” Ray told Michael.

“Why?” Michael asked him, not even missing a beat, there really was no stopping his labido, “You love Ryan.”

“N-not like this…” Ray moaned, he tried to sound coherent.

“You’re not cheating on him Ray,” Michael reminded him, “I’m just trying to get you used to more than one of us around… when we’re like this.”

Ray bit down on his lips, trying to stifle out the noises he was making. It felt too good to stop now and something about being caught made it even better, as sick as he felt admitting that to himself but after a minute Ray loosened his grip, trying to squirm away from Michael some. He couldn’t, in good conscious let Ryan listen in like this, getting nothing out of this but audio.

Michael let out a needy whine, “Hey don’t stop, come on, this is amazing.”

Ray shook his head, “It’s not fair for Ryan.”

“What? Are you kidding me? He loves to watch and listen,” Michael laughed,  “Why do you think he’s always watching you?”

Ray’s eyes went wide and Michael laughed even harder, pulling Ray closer again. They could hear Ryan sputter some embarrassed nonsense before getting defensive, _“That’s NOT what it’s- I don’t- Christ, you make me sound like a pervert…”_

“Only sometimes Ryan,” Michael winked up at Ray who was still flush at the thought of what Ryan had been watching, or even doing while watching him, “I’m kidding Ray, he’s not that weird, calm down.”

 _“I DON’T! I really don’t!”_ They heard Ryan continue to try and defend himself. Ray felt bad, he had no idea if he was being convincing or not. This distance made it hard to tell what exactly was going on.

“It’s okay.” Ray said quietly. Really it was okay to him, he was just embarrassed at the thoughts that came into his mind. Whether Ryan did anything or not didn’t matter so much to him, it was a little bit flattering right now. They heard Ryan sigh in relief.

Michael sat down the radio in between them and grabbed both of Ray’s hips, getting his fast pace going again, , “Hey Ryan, why don’t you get in on this and tell us what to do?” Michael’s suggestion made Ray blush even harder as the redhead started planting little kisses to Ray’s lips again.

 _“I don’t want to.”_ Ryan responded, his voice wasn’t very convincing.

“Yeah you do,” Michael teased, “Come on Rye, you love dirty talk.”

That Ray knew for himself that was absolutely true. Ray hummed in agreeance, “He does…”

“See, you can’t hide it,” Michael chuckled, “Talk to us Rye, what are you thinking?”

There was a moment of quiet from the radio, just heavy breaths. Ray knew that sound, Ryan was getting excited, heated by what he could do even so very far away, _“I’m thinking there’s two beautiful boys who aren’t kissing nearly enough.”_

Ray whined a little, he liked it when Ryan wanted him to be spoiled. Michael grinned, “I couldn’t agree more”

Michael moved on Ray, opening Ray’s mouth with his own so they could kiss loudly and sloppy. They carried on till the needed air and broke apart, Michael didn’t stop for long though. While Ray panted, trying to catch his breath, Michael moved to his neck again, this time marking up the other side with his teeth. Ray elicited a long moan as he felt the sucking and biting carry over spot after spot along his neck, his jaw, his collarbone.

Ray barely heard Ryan’s voice the next time, but he could tell he was muttering some kind of curse of approval. Just as Michael started moving his mouth over to Ray’s shoulder, Ryan dropped the next request.

 _“You dry humping?”_ Ryan asked first, a defensive note to his voice.

“Yeah,” Michael told him breathlessly, “...Nothing too rough…”

 _“Ride him.”_ Ryan eased up but gave the request seriously and dominating. He sounded far more in control than Michael was at the moment.

Michael nodded, separating them so he could roll Ray beneath him and crawl on top. He let his ankle hang off the bed, positioning himself on top of Ray’s hips. He got down on his elbows over Ray who was perplexed but too far gone to move or freak out over the change. He was so turned on and having Ryan involved bothered him less and less with every second, he just wished Ryan was actually there. Michael looked down at him, overcome with lust and panting. He bent down further, giving Ray another kiss before he resumed his pace again. Their grinding felt deeper now, fast and hard against each other. Ray gasped in pleasure, it was so much better this way and soon they’d started to get close. It certainly helped that Ryan started whispering little words on encouragement to the both of them, calling them “good boys”, “beautiful boys”, “so sweet”, “so sexy”.

                                                                                                                            

Michael started rubbing against him so sporadically his leg slipped, and he nearly jammed his foot down onto the floor if he hadn’t caught himself in time. He stilled, trying to get himself back on the cot right. Ray own impatience willed him to keep them going though. Having a bold moment, Ray grabbed Michael by the hips and started rolling his own again Michael’s now, throwing the man on top of him off his game. A smile spread across Michael’s lips though as he let Ray take charge with his fast and out of sync thrusts. Michael’s head went back as he let himself get carried away, he let out a string of moans accompanied with curses as they both started reaching their end.

“Fuck yeah, Ray,” Michael let out loudly, “Faster… faster…”

It happened faster than they’d thought it would. All of a sudden it just got to be too much for the both of them. Ray came first, spilling out in his boxers, but he kept up his pace, although it was only somewhat organized by the sheer speed he was going at, until Michael followed him. They both moaned loudly to each other, unable to articulate proper words of how good each other was right then. Michael slumped down over Ray, catching his breath and letting the waves of his orgasm roll through him, Ray did the same, holding onto Michael as his covered him.

 _“That was beautiful…”_ Ryan complimented them, getting a breathless laugh from them.

“You… have no idea Ryan,” Michael told him buried into Ray’s shoulder, “...Little baby Ray has a dominant side.”

Ray flushed, chuckling, too tired to respond.

“Shoulda seen him Rye… grabbed my hips ‘n went to town.”

 _“Mmmm, I would like to see that.”_ Ryan hummed, _“But I can wait, there’ll be plenty of time for that.”_

Michael gave a hum of his own, planting light kisses to Ray’s shoulder, “God I can’t fucking wait for summer to end.”

 _“Well, you’re going to have to.”_ Ryan warned him, _“Sleep tight boys, you’re going to have a long day tomorrow.”_

* * *

 

Despite Ryan’s advice to sleep, the two of them just couldn’t, not with all that was going through their heads and their desires to hold on to each other while they could. They situated themselves on top of each other, choosing to let their hands play over one another’s skin. Ray situated himself halfway on top of Michael, head resting on his chest. It had been Michael he wanted the change in arrangement so that they could both lay out in the same space of the tiny bed.

Ray’s hand went over Michael’s smooth stomach and he snorted a laugh, “You’re so hairless, you’ve got really smooth skin.”

“You’re not much of one to talk, you just have that sad excuse of a happy trail, right here.” Michael defended, reaching his hand between them to squeeze at Ray’s stomach, making him jump, “Then again, I’m probably just used to seeing Gavin.”

“Why? Is he hairy?” Ray asked.

“Fucking sasquatch man.” Michael laughed, “I think he’s hairier than all of us.”

Ray joined in with Michael’s laughter, it just seemed so absurd to think that Gavin, the one described as a “skinny little twink” by Geoff was the one with all the hair, “You’re joking?”

“No,” Michael swore, “He’s got italian blood, apparently that makes him hairy as a caveman.”

“That’s weird to think about.”

“Weirder when you first see it.” Michael admitted.

“What about the others?” Ray asked curiously.

Michael moved his head back in forth in debate, “Geoff and Jack are kinda on the hairier side. Ryan’s got a bit more than you, he’s like, normal hairy.”

“You’re just the softy, huh?” Ray raised an eyebrow.

Michael smirked, and gestured with his teeth nipping at the air, “Wanna bet?”

Ray rubbed at his neck, areas itched a little and pained at his touch. He couldn’t see but he knew he was bruised everywhere Michael had gotten him, “No thanks…”

Michael snickered at Ray’s withdrawal of his offer, “Don’t like hickey’s?”

“I didn’t say that,” Ray defended, “I mean, this is my first experience with them. Just, they feel good at first and then they just hurt.”

“I’ll try not to be so rough on you next time then.” He promised.

“Next time, hm?”

“Yep, sucks to be you doesn’t it? Having to wait out the rest of the summer for another go at me.” Michael teased.

Ray grinned, “I think I can handle it. Ryan seems pretty set on entertaining me for a while.”

“Yeah, I bet he is.” Michael commented raising an eyebrow suggestively. To this Ray leaned up and nipped at his chin, giving Michael a taste of his own medicine. It didn’t hurt him though, quite the opposite, he gave a little please hum in response.

“You must like pain.” Ray huffed letting his head fall back onto Michael’s chest.

“Just the good kind.”

Ray turned his head over so he could rest it on Michael’s chest. He looked over Michael’s pale skin, watching the rise and fall of his chests as tired breaths made their way through his body. His eyes followed the whole of Michael’s body that he could see, not sure when he’d started this new appreciation of the human body. His eyes stopped on a familiar sight he just barely recalled. Ray remembered it catching his attention the first time they’d met as well, a small metal bracelet, little ringlets circling the wrist and reflecting what little light they had now.

Ray’s eyes scan over the metal bracelet on Michael’s wrist. Something about it was really calling to his curiosity, there was just something strange about a guy like Michael always wearing a bracelet that clung to his wrist so tightly. Ray reached out and ran his fingers up the smooth underneath of Michael’s forearm and stopped at the intertwined metal ringlets. He traced the curve with the tip of his index finger, Michael’s wrist twitched lightly beneath the touch, tickled by the gentle gesture. He turned his head and watched Ray, letting his fingers dance a little so Ray could feel the rise of his veins and how alive he was.

Ray’s lips turned up at a corner, awkwardly feeling sentimental at how intimate this all was to him. Michael smiled back, content to just lie there as Ray’s fingertips caressed his skin. He looked amused, like it was such a playfully innocent gesture. Ray traced the bracelet all the way till his finger hit his sheets. The bracelet was perfect on Michael’s wrist, just being the right size, like it was made for him. It looked like the color on it had been faded, a few areas shone a more copper color now than the dull grey of the rest, but it looked strong despite the wear.

                                                                                                                

“I remember seeing this that first day, when we met each other. That day with the tent. How long have you had this?” Ray asked.

“Three years.” Michael answered softly.

Ray’s eyes went wide, “Really?”

Michael nodded, “It never comes off either, not unless there’s some kind of emergency.”

Ray raised his eyebrows, intrigued, “I didn’t take you for the jewelry type.”

“It’s not really jewelry,” Michael sighed out, his eyes went to the bracelet, “It’s more of a promise.”

“Promise?” Ray asked, fingers tracing the bracelet along to the other side now, “It looks like it was made for you.”

“It was,” Michael admitted. Ray met eyes with him, curious. Michael smirked, “Gavin made it for me.”

Ray nodded, seeing the connection, “Oh…”

“We all have these, you know,” Michael told him, “Me, Gavin, Geoff, Jack, Ryan; we all have have one.”

Ray’s brows knitted, focusing on the metal ringlets. He briefly wondered why Ryan never mentioned it but then the reason became clear the more he thought about it, the promises typically made with jewelry, “It’s like a ring?”

Michael nodded slowly, “We don’t get married, it’d be too hard to explain and we wouldn’t be able to get jobs. But we can wear these, and no one really thinks anything of them. It’s just a bracelet to anyone else.”

“Do you make them for each other?” Ray asked but Michael shook his head.

“Not really, there isn’t like a bracelet from each person. It’s just, from what I know about it, whenever one of us loves someone and wants to bring them in, then they make the bracelet for them. After they say yes anyways, it’s something you accept just like a ring and it’s serious, you know? They’re special, it’s made like it is for a reason, see how small it is?” Michael pointed out and Ray hummed to let him know he’d noticed, “It’s made for my wrist, and it fits it like that because I can’t put it on on my own. You have to get someone else to put it on for you, you can take it off, but you can’t put it back on. That’s the kind of promise it has, you can break it really easy but you can’t put it back right without someone else putting it back on. That’s the kind of rule that comes with them, I mean, we take them off if we’re injured or they’re cutting off blood flow, but it comes down to your own commitment otherwise. If you take it off to break apart from the others then no one’s going to put it back on, not unless we forgive them. It’s a pretty big deal to us, that’s apparently happened once before, but I wasn’t with them yet.”

Ray watched as Michael’s eyes grew sad at the mention of the event, “I don’t know what happened then,” Michael continued, “But I know it really hurt them, and I know how important these are. That’s why it never comes off. I’ve only ever had it taken off once and only because it was burning my wrist.”

Michal rolled the bracelet back some and pointed to the edge of his wrist he held it out to Ray so that it was in the light. Ray could hardly see it, but there was a thin white burn scar that wrapped around Michael’s wrist.

“What were you doing?” Ray asked out of curiosity.

Michael grimaced, “I was cooking on a grill. It’s a really stupid story. But that was the only time, and I didn’t take it off, “Michael told him seriously, then he huffed out a laugh, “I was yelling, and waving my arm around like a goddamn idiot. Geoff’s the one that grabbed my arm and ripped it off, he was freaking out. Actually broke it, had to put it back together. There’s one of these rings that’s still bent weird because of that.”

While Michael was turning his wrist in different angles trying to find the weirdly shaped one, Ray nodded silently, admiring the dedication that Michael had and what it would take to accept the offer. The intensity that must come with inviting someone into their group like that. Although Ryan had brought him into this, he hadn’t offered that to Ray yet and he figured it was because he was so new, after all, he was sort of just dating them right now. He had become close to Ryan and Michael, and even Gavin but he was still trying to wrap his head around being comfortable with all of them, finding out what kind of relationship he had with them all. That kind of promise surely took a long time to work up to.

“You could have one too one day,” Michael told him, as if he could read Ray’s thoughts. Ray’s felt a little anxious at the thought, “If you want this.”

Ray sighed and nodded again his heart swelled at the thought but his logical side reminded him of how little he knew these guys. He’d only met one in person and as wonderful as Michael was, he was still distanced from him, “Maybe…,” Ray mused, “Maybe one day.”

Michael’s hand turned, reaching up to run through Ray’s hair, twisting into the small loose curls at the ends that had begun to form as his hair grew longer. Ray leaned into the touch, it felt so nice to have Michael here with him right now. He felt so grateful for the little time that they had.

“I hope you do one day,” Michael mused, his hand guided Ray’s head back down to rest on his chest. Ray settled into the warm flesh and tuned into the sounds of Michael breathing, his heart beating, and the various other sounds that reminded Ray over and over again rhythmically that Michael was so alive and real, “I sound like a fucking sap.” Michael admitted, his chest bounced lightly at the small laughs and Ray smiled, snickering back.

The settled down into the bed again, Michael just staring up at the ceiling as Ray felt his fingers running across his scalp.

“I like it,” Ray told him, “A little break from all the rage.”

Michael’s chest bounced again, amused, “You don’t like me when I’m angry?”

“No,” Ray assured him, “I _love_ it when you’re angry. I only _like_ it when you’re a fucking sap.”

Michael let out a full blown laugh and Ray joined him, feeling like an idiot. Michael’s hand moved down to rest on Ray’s neck, his fingertips tickling and only making Ray laugh a little harder with the shiver they elicited.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Michael’s voice hinted suggestively. Letting out a deep sigh as he came down from his bout of laughter again, “God, you’re wonderful Ray. If Ryan didn’t get to you first I would have been all over you.”

Ray snorted a laugh, “I think you’ve already done that. You kind of one-upped him on that.”

“You know what I mean,” Michael brushed off Ray’s bad turn of phrase. His thumb rubbed down Ray’s neck, down to his shoulder blade, “You’re great Ray… I’m glad you’re with us.”

Ray closed his eyes, the words made his heart constrict. He felt so loved, the attention was greatly appreciated for once. As much as he distanced himself from so much of the world, he wanted this so badly. These moments of light touches and praise, little gestures of admiration, small talks, and intimacy. It was all so different here, with them. Ryan’s words made him melt, Michael’s touch enticed him, the way the others interacted with him. The jokes, the little encouragements, the honesty, the playful banter. It was more than just talking to people, a higher form of conversation that made Ray want to talk, want to act, “I’m glad you wanted me… I feel… I feel really lucky. But I feel like… I don’t deserve this.”

“Why?” Michael’s voice had dipped to soft spoken whisper, getting lost in the quiet moment they shared.

“I don’t think I know how to be a part of all of this. I feel, selfish,” Ray told him, he let his mouth spill out the anxieties he had slowly building inside him. The more he thought of their relationship, about being a part of this, he thought back to how out of place he seemed among it all.

“You, Ryan, all of you; you have this perfect relationship. All this dedication and commitment that I don’t understand how to feel about. I just don’t know if I feel the way I should, I’m confused, this isn’t like anything I’ve experienced before. I mean, I want this, I want you all so badly. I don’t understand it, I’ve never wanted people like this, never wanted to just talk with people like this so much, to touch people. I’m so far away all the time, avoiding everyone… but not with you guys, I want to be with you so much and I don’t know how I ended up this way but I’m… happy…,” Ray breathed out shakily, his confession making his heart pound in his chest like a middle schooler admitting their crush, “So happy…”

Ray felt Michael’s hand rub circles into his shoulder, there was a light shushing from Michael, “...That’s what it’s like Ray,” He assured him, his voice practically cooing to Ray as Michael chuckled, “That’s exactly what it feels like. That’s what we all felt. Being so out of place and then all of a sudden in the right place. It’s just right when everything’s just wrong. You want things you didn’t want before, and everyone involved is suddenly the world to you.”

Ray stayed silent, letting the words sink in. The reassurance felt so good, he let himself be held by Michael, who wrapped his other arm around to bring Ray impossibly closer.

“That’s why I took the bracelet.”

* * *

 

Day 39

* * *

 

The next morning started late for Michael and Ray. They had stayed up so late the night before that they slept through most of the morning. Luckily Michael was more of an early riser then Ray was or they would have stayed sleeping till noon or until Ryan called for them to wake up. They still didn’t get out of bed very easily though, Michael had just laid there for a while, watch Ray sleep because he “Didn’t have it in him to wake Ray up yet.”

When they finally started moving, Ray lamented the loss of his new soft and warm pillow that was Michael and got dressed with Michael watching him hungrily the whole time. It got to a point where Ray had to push his face away when he tried getting handsy again. He lent Michael a pair of his boxers, throwing one of the clean pairs he had in his face from across the room, he figured he’d just get them back in September and Michael left the one’s he’d dirtied the previous night with Ray to clean up and hold on to. It was a surreal thought to Ray, holding on to the underwear of one of his boyfriends. It felt a little too much like a soap opera, but at the same time, it would have been really gross for the both of them if Michael went back to his tower the whole way in them.

When they finally got out of Ray’s tower, Michael’s ankle had recovered enough for him to occasionally set his foot down, so for the most part Michael hobbled along side Ray back down to the lake, being able to stand a bit while they took breaks now and again. Even though they’d done the same walk the night before, it was still hard to support the weight of another person all the way back.

Reaching the lake provided a completely different challenge for them. They couldn’t go through the water. Michael couldn’t swim and Ray couldn’t carry him across, he also didn’t feel like hiking in wet jeans, so they settled to go around the whole thing. Ray’s side soon melded into Micheal’s side of the lake and Ray understood now why Michael’s side was so different. It was much rockier on his side, even around the lake, and they took their time getting over the humps of rock that became obstacles in front of them. At some points it was just easier for Ray to give Michael a piggyback ride over the areas.

When they got around they picked up Michael’s discarded backpack and clothes, getting him dressed in something finally before they started up the real hard part of the journey. Michael had to direct Ray which way to go, the treeline had quickly morphed into a much more sparse and rocky area. It became clear very quickly into their hike through the area that Michael was leading them down a much longer route around the place. There were ledges that a person normally could, and would climb on their own, but with the shape Michael was in it would be impossible to scale the walls the way they were.

It was late afternoon by the time Michael’s tower actually came into view and the climp up to it’s little spot situated on a small plateau was not an easy trek, but at the very least Michael’s tower had very few stairs. It was hardly a tower at all, more like just a small station, an that was fine, preferable even. Michael’s didn’t come with the looming threat of falling two stories down into the dirt.

It was a very different site to see inside then Ray’s own. The place was decorated more, more posters, more papers around, more books, and little trinkets. The bed was much nicer too, Michael had a nice comforter set he’d somehow managed to bring out here and Ray was glad to be able to set him down in something soft and comfortable, especially considering he probably wouldn’t be leaving it much for a few days.

Ray collapsed next to him for a minute, catching his breath and resting, “I’m never doing this again, just letting you know. Don’t ever twist your fucking ankle again.”

“I’ll try not to.” Michael mused.

Ray looked around Michael’s cabin from his spot, “Yours is very homey”

Michael nodded, “Helps when you can leave a bunch of stuff here. I had a talk with the guy who get’s this place in the other season, we share some of this stuff. Just lock it up in a cache box just down the hill from here.”

“That’s useful.”

“Very useful. Don’t have to pack as much.”

“Looks nicer too.”

“Well, if you plan to keep with this job you’re welcome to use the cache boxes by your tower, no one ever has your tower. Just to be safe, I’d leave a note telling people it’s your stuff. Most people with these jobs are pretty considerate out here. I haven’t met a single one that’s stolen something or been stolen from but if you don’t leave a note it’s kinda up for grabs. Usually just turns up in the same cabin you have anyways.”

“So, is this all stuff you’ve collected over the years?” Ray asked.

“Yeah, me and the other guy’s. Mostly it’s just posters and cool stuff we’ve found on hikes.” Michael mulled over before his eyes widened, realizing something, “Hold on, I just remembered something.”

Michael reached under the bed, feeling around until he pulled up a dusty looking book and handed it to Ray. Ray took it with a puzzled look, it was just a dictionary. He noticed a gap in the pages and let the book open to that part and a photo nearly fell out on him. Ray picked it up and looked at it closer. There were three people in the picture, one of them was Michael wearing a beanie and holding up a beer to the camera with another, older guy with tattooes and a handlebar mustache. The third person was a young looking guy with crazy blonde hair giving a smug look at the camera.

                                                                                                                                 

“I don’t really risk taking too many pictures here with me but I keep a copy of that one here where I know no one’s going to look. No one would really give a shit about that one anyways.” Michael told him and the pieces started falling into place for Ray.

“This is…”

“That’s the first picture I ever took with them. Sorry it doesn’t have the whole house but…,” Michael scooted over and pointed to the younger looking guy, “That’s Gavin, and the other guy next to me is Geoff.”

Ray’s felt overcome at the moment, his chest felt heavy as he stared at the picture, absorbing the details. He didn’t even notice the smile that crept up on his face, “These are really them?”

“Yep.” Michael grinned at him, amused, “Taken the first night we got back into town back during my first year on this job.”

Ray couldn’t stop himself from laughing, “Gavin does have a big nose!”

“I told you!”

“Oh my god, this is great,” Ray shook his head, hardly believing what he saw, “Do you have any…”

Michaek shook his head, frowning as if he was disappointed in himself, “No, that’s the only one I’ve got here. Sorry, I don’t have one of Ryan here.”

Ray nodded slowly, accepting the answer, he tried not to let his hops crash too much.

“If I brought the other photos someone might see them, rat us out. That one just looks like we’re friends. Trust me, most of out photo’s don’t look like that. They get real personal.”

“Right, I understand. Thanks for showing me this one though.” Ray thanked him anyways.

“I figured, while we had the chance, I might as well show you something of the others.” Michael explained.

“Yeah… I’m glad you wanted to show me this, it… it means a lot to me actually.” Ray told him, “Could you, I mean, I’ve heard a bit from Ryan, but could you describe him for me a bit more?”

“Uhhh, yeah… fuck, let’s see…,” Michael thought hard, “Okay, so he’s taller than I am and wider, like good wide, he’s got some muscle, which is complete bullshit because he never works out and eats a shit ton of sweets. I mean the guy has a diet coke obsession.”

Ray laughed, he’d heard Ryan’s lamentations over a lack of diet coke before.

“He’s like… exactly what I think of when I hear the word DILF, you know. He’s got the hot dad look going for him. Great hair, great jaw, great dad bod, as weird as that sounds. Oh yeah, and very twitchy eyebrows.”

“Twitchy eyebrows?” Ray managed to ask between his laughs.

“Yeah, like, he get’s expressive when he talks and his eyebrows are just constantly on the move man.” Michael explained, pointing to his own as he practically made them dance while he talked.

“Jesus Christ,” Ray exclaimed, “Stop it, my stomach hurts.”

Michael chuckled at him, “Good, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Ray slowly came down from his laughing fit. Michael reached over and turned Ray’s face towards his. Before Ray could ask, Michael answered his unspoken question, “This is like, the last time I’m going to see you until we get off for September. I just want to get another good look at you being happy before you go.”

Ray smirked, “It’s just my face. It’s not going to change anytime soon.”

“It’s the face of someone I love,” Michael made his point by planting a kiss on Ray’s smiling lips, “Just like the photograph, I want to remember your face like this.”

* * *

 

Ray left Michael’s tower with a heavy heart. It made him sad to leave but he had to make his way back to his own area before it got too dark. This time he was able to take Michael’s shortcuts with the directions Michael had written down for him on a sheet of paper. The little shortcuts were a bit more strenuous but they were a hell of a lot quicker than the path they’d taken to Michael’s.

He wished he could spend another night with Michael, just one more, maybe not as energetic as their last night was. Just one more chance to sleep feeling that same warmth of another person’s body against his own, but he knew if he did, Ryan would not be happy with them and they’d definitely get in trouble for not monitoring their areas. So with that in mind, Ray quickly made his way back, getting to his own tower just as the sky turned black. He collapsed onto his bed, it felt strangely empty now and it still had that lingering smell of another person, and Michael’s absence somehow took up too much space in his tower now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never thought I'd reach the point were I had to update the tags to include dry humping but... well... we've reached that point. I regret nothing.


	10. Smoke and Mirrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay well that took longer than usual. Sorry guys, have a lot of projects going on right now. Not just menial side projects either, like the kind that determine whether or not I graduate college kind of projects, which take priority, always. That being said, not a whole lot of time to work on this, that and this one was a little weird to write about, it was too long to make it into the next chapter I have planned and too short to be split up and worked around, but important nonetheless.
> 
> Here's your chapter summary we're moving from like this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrleydRwWms to this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMk-Nb_viR8 like real quick. Also yeah, the fuel for this entire series is dependent on Hozier songs pretty much. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also I know there's usually pictures but for some reason I can't get the pictures for this chapter to upload but in all honesty, they aren't even good and there's only two so you're not missing much. I'll see about fixing them a little later, here's the chapter for now.

Ray lay in his bed staring at the ceiling of his tower for a while, partly because his legs felt like jelly and he didn’t want to move for about three more days now and partly because he’d started to feel a bit depressed at Michael’s absence. His tower felt big for once, too big, like it was supposed to have someone else in it. It was more comfortable with Michael around, it felt way more like home than it had before.

He’d hardly remembered to even get up to feed Gunther something, he was glad he’d stocked the poor turtle’s box with food beforehand out of his own paranoia of forgetting him, for one his preparation wasn’t in vain. 

Static clipped next to him somewhere and he felt around for his radio just as he heard Ryan’s voice,  _ “Hey, Sunshine?” _

Ray felt the covers till his hand found the little radio hidden against his side, he brought it up to stay next to his head while he lay there, “Hey Ryan...”

_ “Oh... ,”  _ Ryan backed up from their conversation for a bit upon hearing how depressed Ray sounded,  _ “What’s the matter? You want me to call back later or…” _

“No.” Ray said bluntly.

Ryan sighed,  _ “You miss him already?” _

“Yeah…” Ray moped.

Ryan couldn’t help himself from chuckling,  _ “You two really had a lot of fun together didn’t you?” _

Ray smiled a bit, “Yeah, we did.”

_ “I’m sorry,”  _ Ryan apologized to him, as if it were his fault,  _ “But it’s the rules out here.” _

“I know… doesn’t mean it feels great though. I never thought my tower wouldn’t feel cramped. I didn’t think I’d miss him this much.” Ray admitted.

_ “That’s what happened when you’re deprived of human contact, the second you get some is like a nice shot of a cocktail of chemicals going through your body. We’re social creatures, Ray, a mean we, out here, are slightly less social, but still.” _

Ray huffed a laugh, he was right, it was like a drug and he did want more but for now he’d have to go cold turkey because another quick fix wasn’t happening for a while. He rubbed his next, wincing as his finger caught on a particularly bruised area, Michael had left him a mess, “...Jesus, I probably look like I just fought a horde of vampires.”

_ “Michael bit you?”  _ Ryan asked, amused.

“Yeah, a lot…”

_ “Yeah he does that, he’s a bruiser.” _ Ryan told him fondly.

“I noticed,” Ray rubbed at another sore spot down by his hip, wondering when that one happened, “God damn… Every part of me is sore. He got me everywhere.”

_ “Mmmhmm, nights with him usually end in painful mornings, he gets pretty rough.” _ Ryan hummed along, seeming to get a little distracted. 

Ray let out a tired sigh, “He’s not easy to carry for miles either, I mean, I’m probably just weak as hell, but still, I’m so tired now. But I mean, it was still great, I’m not really complaining about it. Just getting to spend time with him at the lake was awesome, not him nearly breaking his ankle, but, you know. And getting last night with him, that was… amazing...”

_ “Mmmhmm…”  _ Ryan hummed along with him, more distant than before. It stilled Ray’s excited recount of the night before.

Ray frowned, not sure if he said something wrong or if something was bothering Ryan, “Hey… what’s wrong?”

_ “Hmm? Nothing.”  _ Ryan dismissed unconvincingly.

“No, seriously, did I say something wrong?”

_ “No, of course not.” _

“You sound bothered by something.”

_ “It’s nothing really, keep going with your story.”  _ Ryan told him, a little begrudgedly now.

Ray knitted his eyebrows, trying to figure out what was going on, “Are you still mad about me lying to hide Michael?”

_ “What? No, I wasn’t really mad then, why would I be mad now?”  _ Ryan asked incredulously.

“I don’t know… I’m just trying to figure out what’s bothering you. You didn’t really get like this till I started talking more about last night, I thought everything was good last night, I mean, you were even in the call when we…,” Ray’s face went hot as he remembered Ryan giving them orders the night before, he seemed very willing to be involved then. He didn’t finish his sentence, the words that filled in the blank embarrassed him to attempt to say out loud.

_ “Mm,”  _ Ryan grunted,  _ “Wish I could have actually been there.” _

“Is that what’s bothering you? You were part of it all last night though.” Ray reasoned.

_ “Not like Michael was.”  _ Ryan pointed out and Ray picked up what was really bothering him.

“Oh no, you are not jealous of Michael.”

Ryan gave a heavy, irritated sigh from his end,  _ “Well… Of course I am. I’ve never seen you in person and he’s had his hands all over you, and other parts.” _

Ray snorted a laugh at Ryan’s censorship, “So what? It doesn’t change anything right? I thought I was supposed to be in a relationship with everyone. Am I not now?”

_ “No, you are, of course you are…,”  _ Ryan reassured him,  _ “I’m just… frustrated at myself that I can’t do the same. I can’t be there, I can’t visit you in your tower.” _

Ray smiled, “It frustrates me too,” He admitted, “I can’t count how many times I’ve wanted to see you in person… but it’s okay. I mean, just one day with Michael and now I feel like a huge part of my life is missing right now, and when I saw him, we both went crazy. So, imagine how great it’s going to be when we meet in person. I’m not usually a big fan of the waiting game, I’m impatient as all hell, but, if it means I get to feel that amazing when we actually do meet, I can wait, I think.”

_ “It does sound nice, doesn’t it?”  _

“I’m looking forward to it anyways.”

_ “Alright, I’ll try not to be too jealous,”  _ Ryan cheered up, he made a small noise as he suddenly remembered something,  _ “Hey, just curious, have you been talking to Michael on your way back or anything?” _

Ray raised an eyebrow, it seemed like such a strange question, “Uhhh, no, I kinda figured he should rest some, and I was trying to not forget my way back. Why?”

_ “Huh…”  _ Ryan remarked curiously,  _ “Maybe he’s just not answering then. I called him earlier just to check if he was alright but I never got a response.” _

Ray shrugged, it was strange but all things considered Michael probably just didn’t hear it, “He probably just went to sleep or something. He was pretty tired when I left him.”

_ “Yeah, I guess so,”  _ Ryan concluded,  _ “Just a bit weird. If you manage to get ahold of him at some point could you let him know that the next supply drop comes in a couple of days?” _

“Yeah, sure, no problem.”

After a long talk and a long nap, Ray woke up to the last light of day. So much had gone on that day and recounting his memories reminded him to give Michael a call. He tuned into the radio’s frequency and listened for a moment to make sure it connected. He could hear it’s subtle sounds that indicated the othe other side was turned one and he spoke, trying to get Michael’s attention to no avail. There was no answer. After a moment he gave up, deciding if none of them had heard anything after another day they’d worry if something was wrong. If all else failed, he’d go back out there and check on him himself.

* * *

 

Day 40

* * *

 

It wasn’t long at all before the woods were as dry as a bone once again, taking the humidity far away and providing some small relief. Though Ray found himself having to prop his door open to get rid of the muggy air that had become trapped in his tower. Of course, it also meant that every watcher was back on alert, more worried about fires now than before. 

It struck Ray that it seemed odd how much everyone was anticipating a fire to happen all the time now, like it was predestined. Then again, for all he knew, it might have been. After his time spent out there, he learned that the others knew a hell of a lot more about the turn of events from judging the weather alone than he probably ever would.

The worry for Ray however, was Michael’s well being. With how talkative everyone was now being, it had become a growing worry amongst them all that noone had heard from Michael in a while, and though Ray figure he’d be fine, he couldn’t help but worry that something worse might have happened to him. He had still resolved himself to go and check on him if this behaviour continued but it didn’t make things easy to constantly wonder what had happened after he left. His answer came that afternoon when his radio clicked, sounding faint and scratchy.

_ “Hey, Ray? This Two Forks?”  _ The sound of Michael’s voice came as a relief even though it was muffled by the horrible connection. There was another sound of heavy tapping, and Ray figured he was probably smacking his radio a few times,  _ “Anyone there?” _

Ray was quick to scramble for his radio. He had a double take at the reader on the front just as he brought it up to his face when he noticed that the radio read a different number than Michael’s was supposed to be, “Hey, there you are, I tried calling you up last night, what happened?”

_ “Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve lost my radio.” _ Michael explained, throwing Ray for a loop.

“What? How are you…”

_ “I’m not that big of an idiot, the one in my hand is a backup radio I keep in the cache box by my tower.” _ Michael stopped him, defending himself. Ray was content with a proper answer anyways and surprised too.

“You got all the way down there by yourself?”

_“Come on, give me some credit. I can do some things on one leg.”_  
“Sorry. So, you’re sure you don’t have it? You didn’t leave it in my tower right?” Ray glanced around quickly to see if he could spot it.”

“No way, all I had on at your place was my boxers. But, on that note, if you’re down by the lake anytime soon could you maybe check around my side? I know I left it in the pocket strap of my backpack when I hiked out your way but it’s not with me here, and I’ve checked  everywhere in my tower.”

“Yeah, sure, I can go check today.”

_ “Thanks man, don’t worry if you can’t find it. It’s not a huge deal or anything, when I’m back up on my feet I’ll retrace our steps back to my place, see if I can find it. If it’s nowhere to be seen, probably some animal took it or something. These things happen, _ ” Michael reasoned,  _ “Oh, and just to let you know, until further notice, my radio number is now frequency 16.”  _

“Yeah, I was wondering about that. It was weird to see that.”

_ “I know, it’s just all I have right now. Look, if you talk to anyone before I do, please pass that on. I’m going to get off this line and contact everyone else, get updated and shit. I’ll talk to you later.” _

“You got it.”

With that, the radio went silent and Ray grabbed his pack from the floor, happy to get out of his tower for a bit. He would have given it a minute before he headed out if it weren’t for the receding daylight starting to set in, and he figured it would be better to do it sooner rather than later.

* * *

 

The trip to the lake was easier and quicker with each excursion out that way, and while he was there he figured he’d clean himself up a bit, but his main priority came first. Taking the path around the lake he and Michael had taken before, he came to Michael’s side of the lake and looked around where he knew his stuff had been sat down at. He gave the area a clean sweep, turning over rocks and looking through the grass just in case but there was nothing. 

Not knowing what else to do about it, he called Michael’s new radio to let him know, “Hey, Michael?”

_ “...Yeah?”  _ Michael answered.

“Sorry man, it’s not out here. I’ve looked all over this side of the lake.” Ray informed him.

_ “...Shit…,”  _ Michael sighed, annoyed,  _ “Oh well, thanks for looking anyways. Dammit, where the hell did it go?” _

“I dunno, I hope you find it though, this new one you have kinda sucks.” 

_ “Yeah, well, get used to that. Chances are, I’m stuck with this one until next summer.” _

“Kinda weird that it’s gone though. I mean, you were wearing your backpack on the way back, right? The radio’s seem to stay in those strap pockets pretty well.” Ray sympathised.

_ “A bit I guess, but these things do happen. I guess something took off with it while it was laying there at the lake. I dunno, I wasn’t paying any attention to it on the way back to my place.”  _ Michael told him, leaving them both pretty stumped.

“Alright, well, if you find it on your end, let us know, alright?”

_ “You’ll be the first to know when I do.” _

* * *

 

Day 46

* * *

 

The news of the supply drops being filled was oddly exciting. There was a weird anticipation that came with hiking for groceries, also Ryan had put in a request for Ray to get a few different items. Like soup he’d been craving for ages. So when the wake up call came and Ryan told him about it, he jumped at the opportunity, glad to be getting some new food and out of his tower again for more than just quick trips down to the lake or the creek.

Ray quickly got dressed to go and made sure he had plenty of supplies in case things went wrong again, like taking his rope in case he need to climb up or down anything, his compass, his map, and some of his dwindling provisions in case he got hungry on the way or wanted lunch, then he happily hustled down the stairs and off to the north side of his area.

_ “You’re energetic today, usually I can’t get you out of bed.”  _ Ryan noted in their ongoing conversation. The time was passing very slowly as the days drew on, lately Ray and RYan would have a conversation, stop it completely for a few minutes or sometimes hours and then all of a sudden just pick it back up again, for this reason Ray usually defaulted his radio to be open to Ryan’s at all times. It made things easier, and now that there wasn’t much to really hide from each other, or any of the others, except for more private moments they figured it was a safe call.

“Dude, new food, better food, food I like, food for Gunther. Food man!” Ray rattled on excitedly, sounding pretty crazy.

_ “I can tell you’re going to have a newfound appreciation for grocery stores and restaurants when you get back in town.” _

“Fuck that, I have it now. I actually want to cook food now, I always thought it was like a huge waste of time but it’s so much better and I miss doing it.” Ray told Ryan, lamenting his lack of a legitimate kitchen.

_ “That is something we all miss I think. Nothing beats home cooked meals. We usually have a barbeque like the first or second week back in town just to stuff our faces full. Geoff and Jack get on the grill and there barbequed ribs and burgers, and I make some side dishes with Michael like some beans and vegetables, and Gavin just gets drinks because no one trusts his ass in the kitchen anymore after he made Michael sick with those weird ass cake things he made...” _

“Ryan.” Ray stopped, voice getting serious.

_ “Yeah?” _

“I love you, you know I do.” Ray continued, the same serious voice that started rousing suspicions from Ryan.

_ “...Okay,”  _ Ryan nervously laughed _ , “I love you too.” _

“But don’t tease me like that.”

Ryan burst out laughing with Ray’s delivery on that one,  _ “Alright, alright, I get it. Food talks are starting to be taboo this time of summer. I’ll stick to teasing you in other ways, like the other night…” _

Ray face heated up with Ryan’s suggestive tone, “Come on man, I’ve got a hike to get my food, don’t make me try to walk with a hard on.”

_ “Sorry, I can’t help it, you get all awkward so easily. It’s amusing.”  _ Ryan laughed.

“Ha ha ha,” Ray feigned laughter, unamused, “I’m not your tv, or podcast, in this case.”

_ “It’s not a bad thing though, I love it.” _

“I know you do,” Ray agreed, recounting as many times as he could think of when Ryan did something similar, “And you’re crazy, so where does that get you?”

_ “Apparently not in your good graces,”  _ Ryan backed off,  _ “So, how goes the hike.” _

“Better than sitting around in that tower.”

_ “I know, it’s frustrating, but you never know.”  _ He sympathized.

_ “I just don’t get why it’s like a fire is inevitable.”  _ Ray addressed his concern as he made his way over his shortcut and into the old charred path through Mule Point. Ray looked around nervously at the remains of the old fire. Seeing the blackened, branchless trees about set an ominous mood. All of a sudden the inevitability didn’t sounds so far fetched.

_ “Well, it kinda is. Sometimes.”  _ Ryan admitted.

Ray looked to the trees some more, “Fires really happen that often?”

_ “Around here, in the summer, yeah. Hardly a year goes by that it isn’t so dry that a few fires start.”  _ He explained and Ray’s eyes went a bit wide.

“A few fires? Jesus!”

_ “Well, they’re usually small fires. Things that we can either get ourselves or rangers can call the burn squad out here to isolate it. That way usually minimum damage happens.”  _

“I thought the fires were usually huge.” Ray wondered out loud.

_ “Not always but the big ones have happened before. Usually to the East and South more though, not so much in this central region.”  _ Ryan informed him.

“So then, like, I’m at Mule Point right now, it’s kinda burnt up here. That doesn’t happen to often?”

_ “Not really in that area. Mule Point got a bad burn over forty years back, it’s just probably still in bad shape because it’s so far away from any water,”  _ Ryan dismissed,  _ “I will say this though, around thirty years ago there was a really bad fire that started south east of you, then it spread more south and all of a sudden it crawled up through your area and into mine some and then back into yours around Wapiti Meadow. That one was awful. I bet if you take a hard enough look around those areas you’ll see some leftovers.” _

Ray checked his map, seeing where Ryan was talking about. If that was true, then the fire practically started center right of his map and wrapped all the way up North and back towards the West, almost all the way back to the lake, “Fuck… that’s a huge fire.”

_ “Oh yeah, it was probably one of the worst recorded. It was weird too, apparently a lot of shit happened and the watchers couldn’t handle it. They had a burn crew isolate it too, when it started but… I forget… it was something like, another fire started or something, yeah, I think it was another fire started somewhere west and then the wind just carried the embers into each other and both fires spread uncontrollably. They had to evacuate everyone and drop ocean water down on the whole mess. So, we hope never to have something like that happen again.” _

Ray felt his duties weigh heavily on him now, “What about the watchers? Were they alright?”

_ “They made it out but they were immediately fired… that wasn’t a pun, but fitting choice of words.”  _ Ryan clarified.

“But, it’s not like they could really control that. That seems pretty harsh.” Ray grew empathetic towards these strangers from some odd thirty years ago.

_ “Oh no, they weren’t fired because a big fire started or got out of control or anything. Stuff like that is unpredictable, reprimanded maybe, but you don’t necessarily get fired for that. They got fired for a couple of reasons, lots of misconducts I heard, for one they had been partially the reason and were heavily suspected of starting the second fire to begin with. Another thing I heard was that they were having,”  _ Ryan cleared his throat and became suggestive,  _ “‘Inappropriate workplace relations’”  _

Ray snickered, “Well, can’t really judge them on that one. Or, I can, but I’d be a horrible hypocrite.”

Ryan laughed along with him,  _ “Yeah, I think it just became an issue with all the other things they did. Anyways, the general ruling was that they were unfit for the positions and had to go.” _

“Hmm,” Ray shrugged, “Guess it’s a good thing they fucked up, in a way, like, not good for the forest but, you know, for us. We met because they fucked up and got fired so, silver lining bullshit, right?”

_ “Yeah, no I agree. We owe a lot to them and their mistakes actually. Me and you particularly, they had our stations if I remember correctly. But they caused all kinds of changes, new firewatch stations, more firewatchers every summer, better fire safety procedures, all that jazz, but also I found you, I found the others. Shit, Michael found a home, Gavin’s got his adventure and Geoff and Jack have a family. Yeah, thanks old firewatchers, for severely fucking up your jobs.” _

Ray just laughed at Ryan’s upbeat tones on others misfortunes, “Bit harsh, I bet they’d disagree.”

_ “Meh,”  _ Ryan shrugged off,  _ “I’m sure they had their reasons for everything, even if it was just a real bad case of paranoia. After a few years on this job you can understand, hell after one year you can understand. Being out here too long, you start thinking things are fucking with you until you’re convinced everything is fucking with you. I wouldn’t be surprised if they just ended up going a bit too crazy.” _

“Mm,” Ray agreed with a hum, “Feel kinda bad for them.”

_ “I’m sure it wasn’t great for them at the time. Then again by now they’re like… 80 or 90 or… dead, so… I’m sure somewhere along the lines they got over it and moved on with their lives.” _

Ray nodded along as he got out of Mule Point and took the trail off towards the right, getting more rocky and narrow, “RIght, I think you might have said something about that before… I guess you’re right. It’d be pretty dumb if they let one big fuck up ruin their lives.”

_ “No reason to really worry about them anyways. Just worry about not repeating their mistakes until we get out of here.” _

“Yes, sir.”

* * *

 

The rest of the hike up to the supply cache went easier than it had the last time. He was particularly grateful that his rope was still good and held him on his rough climb up the shale slide. Picking up his food was exciting and he couldn’t help himself from looking inside to see what goodies he’d gotten. There were the usual basics that everyone got, a fair selections of dried foods, canned foods, and bread which Ray was glad to see considering his last one had gotten moldy before he’d finished it, but he’d also gotten Ryan to call in some slight customizations for things like soup and some other meals in a can.

He took his box away happily and began his lengthy trek back to his tower, box in hand, chattering to Ryan about how excited he was about this food and giving his thanks for putting in a word.

Ray was slowly climbing up the large hill towards his tower when their conversation died down some. Curiosity began to take hold and Ray gave them a new topic to discuss, “So, you’re the jealous type?”

Ryan was quiet for a second,  _ “Wait what? Where’s this coming from.” _

“Just thinking back to that talk we had the other day.” Ray smiled, feeling cocky.

Ryan on the other hand gave a heavy sigh,  _ “Alright, I’ll admit it, I might be, a little.” _

“Don’t you like Michael too though?”

_ “Of course I do, I’m not just jealous of him, you know.”  _ Ryan clarified suggestively.

“Ah, I see, rather have both,” Ray teased him, “Makes sense I mean when we were doing our thing you were getting pretty into it. What’s the real deal like?”

_ “I’m not talking about that right now,”  _ Ryan told him flatly, but loosening up afterwards,  _ “Maybe later tonight, but not right now. Not really in the mood in the daytime.” _

“Oh, so you’re going to put me “in the mood” later?” Ray kept edging him on.

_ “I bet I can find some way to shut that big mouth of yours, or something.” _

“Whoa, getting real dirty, I thought daytime didn’t set the right mood, what happened? Did the sun set over there on your half of the woods?”

_ “Just get in your tower.”  _ Ryan brushed him off, amused.

Ray couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he got to the base of the tower with his box, “Alright, alright. It’s just too fun to mess with you.”

_ “Yeah well, between your teasing and Michael’s bragging I’m about ready to hike over to you myself.” _

“Bring it.”

_ “Can’t, work. It’s a thing.” _

“It sucks.”

_ “You suck.” _

“Not yet, haven’t tried it, but I bet you know a thing or two about it.”

_ “Tower, now.” _

“What? Was I a bad boy? Am I going to timeout?”

_ “Tower young man!” _

Ray cackled at Ryan’s reaction, he was priceless sometimes. Ray began his climb up his tower, box happily in hand and excited for dinner. He was nearly at the top too when something tall caught his peripherals. He took another look, making sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing and not just mistaking it for a tree. A cold feeling washed over him when he saw that he had been right. He had seen what he thought he’d seen, smoke.

After the split second panic came and faded into a more serious worry he picked up his radio, calling for Ryan, “Ryan, you there?”

_ “That was fast, what happened to that dinner and a nap?”  _ Ryan asked, joking.

“It’s going to have to wait, I need you to look out your tower towards the… west. I’m seeing smoke.”

Immediately Ray heard scrambling, like he’d just sent Ryan into a defcon 1 crisis emergency. There was a sound of rustling and something banging around before his side went quiet for a moment,  _ “Shit… you’re right. That’s smoke.” _

“What kind is that?” Ray asked, knowing Ryan could see if far better than he probably could.

_ “Looks like a campfire… god fucking dammit! Stupid assholes!”  _ Ryan got angry, something he rarely did but when it happened it freaked Ray out to hear. Thankfully Ryan’s tone turned to a sympathetic tone,  _ “Sorry Sunshine, looks like you’re going to have to work a little overtime.” _

“Well, I wasn’t about to just ignore it.” Ray told him, grunting as he set his food supplies down on the stair right in front of him and started heading back down. They’d have to wait till later just like everything else for the moment, “And it’s down near the lake some I think. I need to look out for Michael’s side a bit more since he can’t right now.”

_ “Be careful, I’ll keep an eye out on the horizon.” _

Ray practically hit the ground running, making his way to the lake as fast as possible. They couldn’t be dealing with dumb campers right now, not when they were short a watcher and everyone was anticipating a fire. The place was practically a time bomb waiting to go off and any fire in the area was a bad idea. 

As Ray got through towards the lake he looked around thoroughly, having to follow the smoke trail in the sky above him and the obvious smell of burning wood in the air. It was when he reach the clearing, just before the lake, that he found it. The same space he’d found a fire at at the beginning of summer.  

He heaved a sigh as he exited the treeline. Ray did have to admit though, of all the places in his area to take up camp, this would be the one. As he approached, fully ready to confront whoever had decided to set up here, he slowly realized that something was off. His eyesight wasn’t great at the best of times and from a distance he’d assumed he just wasn’t seeing things properly, but the closer he got, the more he realized he wasn’t seeing things.

There was no camp. Ray stopped a few feet away from the small campfire and just looked around confused. The fire wasn’t even really going, it was just smoldering a few sticks as if it’d barely been given anything to burn at all. In the clearing there was plenty of room to set up a tent, lay things around, but there was nothing. No tent, no clothes, no trash, no food, and most disturbing, no people. The clearing suddenly had an eerie feeling to it and Ray tried to look for any sign at all of people but there was nothing right there. He cast his sights towards the treeline, scanning it for anything but saw nothing. A chill ran down his spine, the more he looked around, the more he felt like he was being watched. Ray ignored it for now, the important thing was to handle the fire. He quickly stamped it out and got his radio, still eyeing his surroundings.

“Hey Ryan?”

_ “What’s happening? Did you find it?”  _ Ryan asked.

“I found it.” Ray confirmed with a nervous nod.

_ “What?”  _ Ryan caught on something wasn’t right,  _ “You don’t sound very sure.” _

“Well… I did find the campfire, it’s out now…”

_ “But…?” _

Ray bit his lip nervously, he didn’t like being out here anymore, he felt like the trees were looking at him, “It’s weird, there’s no camp here. There’s nothing, noone, just a badly made fire.”

_ “Noone there at all?”  _

“If they are then they’re either hiding in the woods or their Carmen Sandiego,” Ray joked but honestly he was getting creeped out by the whole scenario, “This is weird…”

_ “They probably just have their things with them still and went to the creek or the lake or something.”  _ Ryan reasoned.

“So… what? Should I go find them? Search everywhere?” Ray asked, hoping not to, he really felt uncomfortable.

_ “No… if there’s no trail I wouldn’t waste your time with that. Do you have a sheet of paper and a pencil?” _

“...Yeah.” Ray answered, remembering the notebook in his backpack he often stored in there for hikes.

_ “Leave a note telling them what they did violates the fire code in this area, just say this place is prone to forest fires and warn them the next time they light a fire the ranger station will be alerted and authorities will be involved.”  _ Ryan told him.

Ray nodded, getting the supplies from his backpack and writing the note down, “Think they’ll listen?”

_ “Maybe, maybe not, better than letting them think it’s okay. If we see they haven’t listened, I’ll call it in, that’s all we can do right now.” _

“Alright,” Ray forfeited, tearing the note from his note book and setting it down with a little rick as a paperweight. He got up, taking another look around before getting that uneasy feeling again, “I’m headed back.”

_ “We’re going to be on high alert tonight,” _ Ryan told Ray,  _ “Keep a close eye out towards the lake for a bit.” _

“I will, I just hope I’ll be able to see it at night.”

_ “You will, don’t worry. Even if you can’t see the smoke you’ll see the glow.” _

“Not exactly a comforting thought but alright.” Ray pointed out as he made his way back towards his tower. He passed through the treeline, nervous, and feeling better the further he got away from the whole scene. Something just didn’t sit right with him on it, “That’s just really weird…”

_ “What?” _

“That there wasn’t anyone there.” Ray reminded him.

_ “I told you, they probably just went to the lake or went hiking or something.”  _ Ryan provided a repeat of his reassurance.

“Yeah but, they had nothing. Nothing but a fire. Who just starts a fire and leaves it? It wasn’t even made well, it was just some sticks and tinder. Who just does that?” Ray tried to reason.

_ “Well, I do admit it’s strange, I agree with you on that, but, I mean, you could argue that about a lot of things stupid people do. Maybe it wasn’t newly lit, maybe some embers had just kicked up again?”  _

“So when did the fire before that one happen? I didn’t see it, did you?” Ray argued.

_ “Good point,”  _ Ryan admitted,  _ “I don’t know, maybe they only started it to light something really quick, like a cigarette, which is just as nerve wracking. Those little fucking sticks of cancer are a nightmare out here. We had a problem once with a chainsmoker that had come out here, they didn’t- _ ”

Ryan suddenly cut off. For a second Ray thought his radio was getting interference but he could still hear noise streaming steadily from it. After a minute, Ryan spoke again, and Ray could throw out his theory of his radio being out of battery,  _ “You’re fucking kidding me…” _

Ray raised an eyebrow, that came out of nowhere, “...What?”

_ “There’s smoke.” _

“What?!” Ray exclaimed, confused.

_ “There’s smoke in your area.”  _ Ryan said again, just as baffled.

“What? Is it that fire? I stamped it out.” Ray felt a lump in his stomach thinking he’d done a terrible job.

_ “No, that’s just it, it’s not at all. There’s a fire out by Wapiti Meadow.”  _ Ryan exclaimed.

Ray’s eyebrows knitted together, “What the hell… Alright,” He turned back, figuring the fastest way would be back towards the lake, “I’ll go there then. What did this guy just start a fire and change his mind?”

_ “I don’t know, this is just… a whole lot of weird. I don’t understand some people. This is just negligence.” _

“Just keep an eye out for me while I get out there.”

_ “You got it.” _

Ray hurried his way back through the clearing and off towards the lake. He checked his map briefly, remembering a path to Wapiti Meadow close to it and once he got to the lake he 3was able to locate it. He took the trail up toward the general area. When he found himself going against the fence at times, he check the sky to be sure the smoke wasn’t coming from beyond it. Lucky for him, it wasn’t, but it was dangerously close to Ryan’s area. 

Thankfully, the path shifted from narrow and rocky to wide and sparse, so not much of would actually cause for alarm out so far. When Ray got close he could smell the burning again. He rounded a corner to see another tiny fire, going a lot more than the last. Ray went up to it, angrily, and kicked it down, stamping it out and kicking up ash. He’d smell like smoke now for awhile. He looked around, livid, but there was no one again. No camp, no supplies, no person. Ray let out a growl in frustration, and it echoed back at him from the cliffs nearby.

_ “Whoa, what’s happening?” _

“Nothing!”

_ “Doesn’t sound like nothing” _

“That’s it though! It’s nothing!” Ray complained, “I came out all this way, I found the fire, I put it out, but there’s noone here, there’s nothing here! Who did this?!”

_ “Alright, whoa, calm down. Look, it was probably just some kid looking to stir up some shit. It happens sometimes. Kid’s come out here and mess with us all the time. They see our towers and think what they’re doing is the perfect prank. Try not to let it get to you so much.”  _ Ryan reasoned, coaxing Ray to simmer down. Ray did, sighing in frustration.

“Playing with fire is not a good prank.”

_ “I agree, I’m pissed off too, I’m just trying to keep calm so you will be.”  _ Ryan added with a laugh, it helped, Ray let out a huff of one as well.

“Alright… you’re right…,” Ray looked around, unerved again that he could find no trace of anyone. This time there wasn’t even much of a treeline to disappear into, which begged the question still, where was this person? Even more worrying, why were they doing this? There just didn’t seem to be any reason for it. With a frustrated sigh he let it go for now, hoping this would not come up again. At least this time he didn’t feel like he was being watched, “So what, leave a note again?”

_ “Unless you have any other ideas to get a message to them.” _

“Nope.”

* * *

 

Ray made it back to his tower tired and a little sore. He’d had to make his way back around to Mule Point just to get back a little faster and had to do a lot of climbing on the way. The stairs up his tower didn’t help, that much was for sure. His food was still on the step where he’d left it and Ray picked it back up, carrying it in.

He sat the box down on the counter, exhausted from the run around he’d had. He made himself something out of a mixture of his old and new supplies, giving himself a decent dinner. He was sure not to forget about Gunther as well, although the little turtle turned out to like grass and leaves just fine, as Ray found out having run out of his own vegetable supplies and having to scrounge to keep the little guy fed, he figured Gunther could use a treat. Ray slipped in a nice leaf of lettuce he’d been packaged and gave his little head a soft rub. Gunther didn’t even flinch, the little badass.

As the day continued, there were no more incidents or signs of smoke. It was confusing and bothered Ray. The whole scenario just didn’t make any sense to him but there wasn’t anything he could do about any of it. Ryan had informed the others and for the rest of the day they sat in a group call getting details from Ray. He had hoped they’d be able to piece it together to answer the nagging questions he’d been left with but instead he was only given back just the same. They had no idea, no one had any idea why someone would do this, but in the end all that mattered was that they didn’t start any more fires. That night they all stayed up, watching for anyone to start any more.

They didn’t.

* * *

 

Day 49

* * *

 

After a few days, the disturbing series of fires had started to fade from Ray’s mind. It hadn’t recurred and no one had talked about it anymore because it just wasn’t important. As long as the forest was safe, so were they, and they didn’t care. Instead they talked about other things; life, love, exciting stories from their pasts. They had group talks more often these days and Ray was learning more and more about the entire group.

Ray was happy to have seen some faces, being able to picture them in his mind as they talked. Whenever Gavin got smug and his voice got gruff as a joke Ray could just picture the weird churned face in the photograph. With every sigh he could picture Geoff’s face, looking back and wondering what mess he’d gotten himself into with all of these idiots. Michael, Ray knew the most. It was hard to not picture a face you’d practically traced with your lips let alone fingers. 

Visuals started to matter so much more now. Every time Michael spoke Ray remembered his face and the way it moved, the expressions, how childish his face looked, how pale he was, where his specs of freckles were. He missed having Michael around too, the company was nice while it lasted and it left him feeling depressed at times without the familiarity of another human near him. Not that they could really do anything about it, but he could still silently want it.

* * *

 

It was night when they had another group talk, and it was all laughs with Geoff trying to sound suave while he was clearly drunk as hell. Ray couldn’t help himself from giggling like a schoolgirl while Geoff was shooting innuendos and suggestive comments to hit up Ryan, he was practically cackling, especially with Ryan’s reaction being to awkwardly try and diffuse the situation.

_ “Geoff, seriously, you can stop with the innuendos, they’re just getting worse.”  _ Ryan tried to get him to stup for the upteenth time to no avail.

_ “I’ll in your endo.”  _ Geoff shot back with a slur.

_ “That was just sad.”  _ Ryan told him.

_ “You’re scraping the bottom, man.”  _ Michael added in Ryan’s defence.

_ “You know I am.” _

_ “Goddamn it Geoff.”  _ Gavin squeaked in between laughs.

_ “Hey Ryan, if I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”  _ Geoff tried again.

_ “Uhh, no, but you need to-... wait… I just got that one.”  _ Ryan ended with a sigh.

Ray threw his head back, laughing, “That one was pretty good actually.”

_ “I just thought of it.”  _ Geoff boasted proudly.

_ “Yeah,”  _ Ryan admitted,  _ “Yeah that was a pretty good one.” _

_ “Come on baby, you love it.”  _ Geoff teased Ryan in his drunken stupor,  _ “Quit being shy.” _

_ “Quit being drunk.”  _ Ryan shot back.

Ray went a little red, thinking of Ryan and Geoff. He hadn’t really thought too much about it before now, then again they hadn’t been so flirty before either. He’d had a few flirtatious exchanges between Ryan, Michael, and even Gavin, but he hadn’t really heard of much else. Knowing what Geoff looked like and what he had to go on with Ryan it was a bit strange now to imagine them together very much but at the same time it got Ray thinking about it.

“Ryan, how the hell did you get in on this whole relationship again? It wasn’t this right?”

Ryan chuckled,  _ “No, Geoff’s pickup lines were definitely not the reason I’m in this relationship.” _

_ “In all fairness, none of us get turned on by his dirty talk.”  _ Michael added.

_ “He’s better in action.”  _ Gavin defended a little.

_ “He is, I’ll admit to that.”  _ Ryan agreed.

Ray raised an eyebrow, “I just can’t imagine how you actually fell for him.”

_ “Well it didn’t happen fast.”  _ Ryan admitted.

_ “Damn right it didn’t,”  _ Geoff complained,  _ “You took forever to come around.”  _ He giggled at the end of his sentence, finding something funny the others didn’t pick up on.

_ “From what I remember, you actually kind of took advantage of me back then,”  _ Ryan pointed out, Ray’s eyes went wide, not expecting that,  _ “But I went along with it and it worked out.” _

“Wait, what?” Ray exclaimed, curious and concerned.

_ “I made that sound a lot worse than it was,”  _ Ryan backpedaled,  _ “I wasn’t like passed out and raped kind of taken advantage of. I was just… in a bad way at the time and I didn’t have much of a direction to go it,”  _ Ryan sighed, frustrated in his ability to explain things properly,  _ “Basically I was depressed and then surprised when my boss decided to kiss me one summer.” _

“Oh.” Ray accepted, that was a lot milder than he thought, “What was going on with you?”

_ “...Uh...”  _ Ryan hesitated.

_ “You might as well tell him.”  _ Michael intervened, encouraging Ryan tom speak up.

Ryan let out a deep breath,  _ “I, uh…, I was married once, before all of this. Same girl I’d been with on and off for years. Then we married, but then we divorced, and then I came out here to forget about things.” _

Ray was surprised, he hadn’t heard about this part of Ryan past before. Married. He was in love with a man who’d already been married. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to take that but a part of him was a little jealous, another was a bit pissed off at this woman for hurting Ryan, and another part was happy she did.

_ “So basically, after a summer out here and talking with Geoff and Jack, we get off in the fall and I spilled my guts to them like a giant baby, next thing I know Geoff’s on me,”  _ Ryan summarized,  _ “... And I let things play out from there, but it worked out in the end. I mean, after we spent a lot more time together.” _

“Huh,” Ray let out, intrigued by the story nonetheless, “Wasn’t expecting that.”

_ “Yep.”  _ Ryan concluded awkwardly.

“You were married?” Ray questioned, admittedly a little too defensively, getting laughs from the others.

Ryan’s voice got weaker under the sudden shift to interrogation,  _ “Uh… yeah… yeah I was…” _

“And to a woman?” Ray asked again, “I thought you were gay?”

_ “Uh, no, not entirely. I’m bi technically.”  _ Ryan clarified,  _ “But yeah, I was married to a woman. But, in all fairness it didn’t really work out, and it wans’t every really going to I don’t think. She was my first girlfriend and we’d been on and off and on and… I’m over it now, I have all of you now.” _

Ray calmed down some, realizing how ridiculous he was being. He stared at his ceiling, thinking over how much he suddenly felt like a homewrecker being with a formerly married man. Just as he did though, he noticed a weird shift in the lighting of his tower. He focused his eyes a little better, trying to figure out if his eyes were playing trick on him. They weren’t. He looked at the lightfixture but it wasn’t moving, the weird shift of light wasn’t moving.

“What the hell…”

_ “What? I’m not that bad for having been married, am I?”  _ Ryan defended, confused.

“Not you,” Ray clarified, sitting up and looking around, “Hand on, there’s something… weird…”

Ray looked closer, seering a ringlike shape against his ceiling and realizing it was from another lightsource, He looked around his tower but there was nothing that could cause it. Then his eyes caught on to his window, there was a strange glare too it.

Ray’s eyebrows knitted together with concern and curiousity. He quietly left his tower and went around the deck. Down below he saw a light coming from the treeline near his tower for a split second before it disappeared. When Ray realized what it was his heart started to beat fast and he felt sick. It had been a flashlight. Someone had been shining a light in his tower. Someone had been watching him.

Ray could see nothing now but what little his tower illuminated. The rest of the forest was pitch black and not a sound was heard this late into the night except the rustling of leaves as a small bit of wind swept it’s way through the area. Ray kept an eye open and an ear listening but he couldn’t find a trace of anything or anybody as he tried to scan the treeline from his deck.

_ “Ray, what’s happening?”  _ Ryan asked concerned.

Ray’s teeth clenched, nervous now, he had to wrench his eyes away from the trees so he could go back inside before talking, “There was someone around my tower just now…”

_ “What? A camper?”  _ Michael asked.

Ray thought for a moment, he had no idea what they were but he knew what they had been doing, “They were watching me.”

_ “What?”  _ Gavin piped in, confused and immediately alerted.

_ “I doubt that.”  _ Ryan said, reassuringly, but Ray wasn’t swayed.

“They were shining a light into my tower from the tree,” Ray explained, “And as soon as I got outside they turned the light off.”

This started to freak Michael and Gavin out but Ryan and Geoff intervened as voices of reason,  _ “Look, campers do things like that all the time. They see our lights on and got to see what it is or if someone's in the tower then they get scared if they think they might be getting into trouble, I’m sure it’s fine.”  _ Geoff reasoned despite his inability to fully pronounce certain words.

_ “It’s just a camper Ray, you’ll see them out here sometimes.”  _ Ryan added calmly.

“...Right.”

Ray heard the words and let it go but he still couldn’t fully believe that. He was reminded of that day with the unexplained fires. That feeling of being watched was the same feeling. His stomach churned and his eyes shifted around him at the windows all around his tower. His arm defensively made it’s way to his other’s for a little personal security. He believed Geoff and Ryan were right, that the chances of it actually meaning anything in regards to him were slim but some small part of him just refused to let that settle. 

After a minute, the conversations picked back up to happier topics, as if nothing had happened, but Ray found himself a little more distant from it all. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, about how unsafe he felt in his tower where the one exit was a very tall staircase. That or jumping. He watched the seam between his broken door and the door frame. Saw the door shifting very slightly back and forth in the light wind. While the others talked he quietly got up, taking his chair from the desk, and propped it tightly against the door. He tested it himself until he was satisfied. It wasn’t much, but it made him feel a little bit better.

* * *

 

Day 50

* * *

 

_ “Sunshine?” _

Ray woke up groggy to his radio next to his ear. He wasn’t sure when he actually managed to fall asleep, last night he’d had such a hard time closing his eyes without worrying someone might be watching him. 

_ “It’s time to get up now.”  _ Ryan chimed in again.

Ray gave a little groan acknowledging that he heard Ryan.

_ “Good, you’re awake. Don’t fall back asleep, we need you awake.” _

Ray gave another groan before he could find his voice again, “...I’m up I’m up… what do I need to do?”

_ “Just keep watching, Sunshine, all day.” _

Ray nodded to himself slowly, finding his glasses, “Same old same old…”

_ Both the pros and the cons of the job, you don’t have to do much but watch nature.”  _

Ray sighed, it was true, he briefly let his held fall back onto the pillow as he worked up the energy to get himself out of bed. His head rolled to the side where his eyes focused on the chair propped against the door. With how dull the job was the slightest scare really had an impact. He snorted a laugh at his own paranoia, feeling silly for his reaction last night.

Ray swung up from his bed and removed his makeshift barricade. He went out on his deck, pleasantly surprised that there was a nice breeze in the air. All in all, signs pointed to today being very nice for once. Then again things tended to change around noon. 

A glance down below had him concerned again though. He moved along the deck until he was sure he was looking in the same area the light had been last night. From here, he couldn’t see anything, but something just bothered him. 

Ray made his way down the steps of his tower but not before Ryan chimed in,  _ “Where are  _ you  _ going?”  _ He asked, amused,  _ “Early morning hike? Doesn’t sound like you.” _

“I’m not going on a hike,” Ray told him, “You peeper.”

_ “Just curious.” _

“I just want to check on something, it’ll just take a sec.” Ray explained.

_ “Alright.” _

Ray got down and walked his way over to the place he’d seen the light. He looked up at his tower to gauge where he thought was about right and looked around. He was hoping to find some kind of evidence of a person, it just bothered him that with all this weird stuff happening, there wasn’t a trace of anyone around.

After a moment of searching he thought he might not find anything again. To his surprise, he was more disturbed by what he did find. In the dirt, he could see the imprint of shoes he didn’t recognize. They were just there, not even in the process of motion, but still, and deep in the ground like someone had been there for a minute. Ray put his foot next to the prints, just to be sure, they were too big to be his though. Somehow seeing the footprints was far more disturbing than he thought it’d be. He ended up just staring at them for a few minute before he looked around for more. The weird part was that there weren’t more. Just these two, which had Ray very confused, it was like they’d just vanished again.

“...What’s going on…?” Ray wondered, though he didn’t have much time to as Ryan chimed in again.

_ “Hey Ray, whatever you’re doing make it quick.” _

“Yeah, I know, I’m done anyways, I’ll get back in my tower-”

_ “No, don’t need you in your tower.” _

Ray’s eyebrows pinched in confusion, “...What?”

_ “There’s smoke again.” _

Ray’s confusions turned to scared and angry at the same time, “What… the… Are you fucking serious!?”

_ “Very serious.” _

Ray looked up, trying to see the smoke but couldn’t from this low to the ground, he’d have to ask Ryan for directions. He looked back one more time at the footprints. They could have belonged to anyone but somehow Ray just knew, these had to be from the same person.

“What the hell is this guy doing…?”


	11. Inferno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Happy Holidays everybody! Here's another chapter that's... really not in the festive spirit all things considered, the holly jolly times are not with this chapter.  
> Oddly enough, while I was writing this chapter and the last my area was having issues with the forest fires, we actually had a burn ban in effect as it was getting so bad. Like no rain, for literally months. The ceramics department at my school couldn't start up it's kiln. It was getting pretty terrifying, the smoke was so thick you could smell it everywhere in town, inside and out, and everywhere you went it looked like Silent Hill. Many buildings were burned down and people were hurt. Considering I'm writing this story based around this kind of thing, I'd like to take a moment to remind you guys how dangerous fire can be. I'm not an expert on fire safety, I think I probably should do a lot more research on the ins and outs of it for this story. But while it's one thing to talk about it in a story, it's another thing entirely to face it in reality. I knew people who were evacuated from their homes and others who had a surplus of supplies sitting in their car in case things went bad. One of my professors had drinking water stored in her car for her and her son to live off of if they needed to. While I was far enough away for it to not really affect me like it did others, it was still very haunting to know this was going on around us. Fire moves fast, faster than most think, and while some fires are beneficial some are far more destructive. That being said, I heavily encourage all of you to be careful whenever you go camping or have a bonfire. Embrace fire safety.  
> Now that your daily PSA is out, I know the chapter is a bit late. But I have a good reason, and that reason involves me being able to graduate next semester now! I got into my Bachelors of Arts Salon show! See! Good things! I swear it's justified! :'D I actually have a piece I want to show you guys, it didn't get chosen to be in the gallery but that's fine, and I plan to put up a picture of it at the end of this story which is starting to approach. So, you wonderful note readers get to potentially look forward to that, or not, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, and you guys not reading the notes may be either pleasantly surprised or really fucking confused. Either way, good fun.

* * *

 

Day 44

* * *

 

The random little fires had become a plague to Ray in the past few days. They weren’t exactly frequent, just one a day now, but they were enough to put Ray on edge constantly. Every day a new one would start and he’d have to go running for it. It was getting to a point that Ray couldn’t really sleep, too paranoid about everything. He ate very little, had to clean himself in his sink while he was too afraid he’d miss something if he left, and constantly looking all around his tower. He was exhausted and he knew he looked worse than he felt too. 

Ryan, Michael, and Gavin became his company, especially since their areas were likely to be hit as well. It was a constant watch for them and Ray felt overwhelmed by it all. The others were handling it far better than he was which admittedly had started to piss Ray off despite how helpful and calming they were too him. They were his support but he was just so tired he got upset by such small things.

_ “Ray? You’re pretty quiet, something wrong?”  _ Ryan asked and it almost had Ray viciously snapping back at him but he stopped himself, jaw clenching so he’d have to choose his words carefully. He didn’t want to be an asshole but it was becoming harder and harder to do.

“...I’m tired.” He finally said, as calmly as possible, although he felt like his head was being squeezed like a lemon as his blood boiled from frustration. Another fire would come today, he knew it would, and he’d have to go find it and put it out again. The thing that really pissed him off is that he knew it was the same person. Every. Single. Time. But no matter how much he looked, he couldn’t find them. After the second day of fires Ray went searching his area, telling Ryan to let him know if there was any smoke. Making rounds was an acceptable use of time and he did his rounds, thoroughly. He’d started crossing off areas of his map he’d checked for signs of a camp but the problem was, there were no signs anywhere. He’d checked the popular spots; the meadow, the creak, the lookout, the creek, the waterfall. Nothing. He then checked out the more obscure areas, even finding an old burnt up looking summer camp spot around his border, he still found nothing. It was driving him insane.

Ryan was awkwardly silent, not fully knowing how to respond. The same could not be said for Gavin,  _ “Hey, why don’t you get a little rest in? Powernap for twenty minutes? You’ll probably feel better after that.” _

“I can’t,” Ray nearly hissed, “I can’t get to sleep. It bothers me too much.”

Michael let out a sigh, not of annoyance, but of sympathy,  _ “Ryan, maybe we should call this into the station, get the rangers and the cops involved. This is starting to become a real problem, it’s really fucking up our jobs.” _

_ “I was thinking that too,”  _ Ryan huffed as well,  _ “I told Geoff already, he said to hold off a little longer, as long as it’s small enough to handle.” _

_ “What a load of bollocks.”  _ Gavin complained.

_ “It’s not like this is getting handled, are you fucking serious?”  _ Michael straight up bitched,  _ “We’re all freaking out about this guy lighting fires and Ray’s running all over the place trying to stop someone he can’t even find a fucking trace of. How is that small enough to handle?” _

_ “Don’t get mad at me, it was Geoff’s decision , and he’s right you know. Unless it’s a big enough problem, the station won’t even pay attention. As long as we have someone who can put them out they don’t care. It’s still classified as our job at this point,”  _ Ryan explained,  _ “It’d be different if we could find the guy doing this. If we had a chance to tell him to fuck off he either would or we could call someone in to “escort” him far away from here.” _

Ray couldn’t help but snap then, “Would you all just shut the fuck up already.”

Everyone went quiet and immediately Ray regretted saying that so harshly, he couldn’t stop it. He was just so frustrated and hearing the others arguing around him was just making him sick. Ray sat on the floor of his tower, knees up to his chest and arms tightly wound around his legs. He felt sick for being so harsh to them, “...I’m sorry…”

_ “... No, sorry, you’re right. Getting pissed off at each other won’t help.”  _ Ryan conceded,  _ “I wish I could call this in though, I really do, but nothing would happen if we did right now.” _

_ “Ray,”  _ Gavin was the next to speak, more distant than he usually was, likely from fear of Ray’s backlash,  _ “Just hang in there for a bit longer. This guy has to tire out eventually, right?” _

_ “Yeah,”  _ Michael added,  _ “This isn’t the first time we’ve handled something like this. Pranksters always lose interest after long enough. Just gotta wait them out.” _

Ray sighed, heavy, “I don’t want to wait them out, I want them gone.”

* * *

 

Day 45

* * *

 

_ “Ray?”  _ Michael was the first to interrupt the uncomfortable silence. They had no idea what was going on, all of a sudden Ray had just stopped in the middle of his sentence and dropped their conversation. The call had gone quiet with Michael and Ryan trying to figure out if there was a connection issue.

_ “Ray, you still there?” _

Ray heard their voices but didn’t respond, he stared down at the smouldering pile of embers with disgust, anger, and admittedly, worry. This one was close to his tower, too close for his comfort. Right in the center of the medicine wheel he stood, right next to another small fire. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that this person was sending him a message and now it had really been taken too far. They had put this one up just out of Ray’s sight but close enough for him to feel threatened and right in the center of a major landmark for the area. 

Ray looked around at the treeline circling the area, he didn’t see anyone but he just had a feeling he was being watched. Despite how freaked out he was, the frustration and exhaustion he’d been experiencing for the past few days couldn’t give a fuck. He put his arms up as a challenge.

“WELL!?” Ray shouted in no particular direction, he turned around, almost waiting for a response, “YOU THINK THIS IS FUCKING FUNNY!?”

The woods were silent, uncomfortably silent. The only noises were him, and the voices in coming from his radio, shocked at what was transpiring.

_ “Hey whoa, Ray, calm down-” _

_ “Ray, hey-” _

“WHAT DO YOU WANT? HUH!? WANT TO BURN DOWN THE WHOLE FUCKING FOREST, ASSHOLE!?” Ray felt his face heating up, “OR YOU JUST WANT TO FUCK ME OVER!? HUH!? I KNOW YOU SET THIS UP FOR ME, THE FUCK YOU WANT ASSHOLE!? WANT TO SAY SOMETHING!? SAY IT TO MY FACE YOU CANDY-ASSED, FRONTING, MOTHERFUCKER!” 

Nothing. The woods were silent, even Michael and Ryan were silent from hearing that outburst. Ray breathed in and out heavily, not used to screaming his lungs out at anything. He’d never felt so much absolute rage before not even in New York, but now, he hadn’t slept, hadn’t properly eaten, he was stressed, and he wanted this asshole to stop fucking with him. As Ray had run out of things to scream, he couldn’t properly think of anything at all. He became acutely away of how much his throat suddenly hurt as well, but he didn’t break, not when the guy could be watching him, he refused to let him see weakness. Especially since Ray had just called him out for a challenge.

He put his arms down, standing there, waiting for a response but nothing ever came. The only responses he would get would be from Michael and Ryan.

Michael actually let out a small rumble of a chuckle as he tried to make light of the situation,  _ “Well… the New Yorker finally came out…” _

Ryan, on the other hand, didn’t think it was as amusing,  _ “...Jesus Christ… that’s it…” _

Ray felt his stomach churn with the way Ryan’s tone was, he sounded pissed off and Ray then started to think he’d gone overboard.

_ “I’m having Geoff call this asshole in,”  _ Ryan sounded pissed still but at least Ray knew it wasn’t directed at him,  _ “I don’t care if they don’t give a shit, they’re going to do something about this.” _

* * *

 

_ Day 50 _

* * *

 

As soon as Ryan had a talk with Geoff about the fires, they stopped. Just like it was on cue, it was like they hadn’t happened. No more fires, so surprise ones, none to send any message, they just stopped completely. Not that Ray was complaining, it was a little weird though, for the first few days Ray thought it might be building up to something bigger. As time went on, he figured the others were right, he just had to wait them out after all. The big message they left was likely the end of their shenanigans, either that or Ray’s little meltdown really got the message across that they’d gone too far. Whatever the case was, there were no more fires and Ray happily accepted that.

At least until he was woken up one night to the sound of Ryan trying to get his attention. Ray opened his eyes, blurred but very confused as to why he was seeing a bright light. He scrambled for his glasses, putting them on only to wish he could go back to not knowing what that light was.

Outside of his tower, far south of his tower, was a long strip of fire and smoke through the trees. Ray was so panicked he froze up at the sight, Ryan’s voice still calling for his attention. He felt his hand out for his radio, grabbing it and hitting the button with shaky fingers, “Uh-god, what do I do?” He asked, stressed out and scared, his voice clearly not as awake as the rest of him suddenly was.

Ryan just chuckled at him, confusing Ray,  _ “Easy, no need to panic.” _

“No need…” Ray let out exasperated, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “There’s a giant fire, right there, what do you mean “no need to panic”?!”

_ “Alright, alright, well there’s no need to panic  _ yet _ , how about that?”  _ Ryan clarified,  _ “Welcome to this year's summer forest fire.” _

Ray twitched, uneasy at Ryan’s calm, “What do we do?”

_ “Nothing. Already called in the burn crew, now we watch it.”  _ Ryan answered calm and almost cheerful.

“That’s it?!”

_ “Well, I don’t know about you but I’m not exactly firefighter material. That’s not our job and that’s dangerous,”  _ Ryan told him,  _ “I’m not going to go running out miles and miles with a bucket and start pouring water on a fire that big,” _

“Oh my fucking god, was this because I didn’t stop that guy from lighting those fires?!” Ray continued to grow more panicked.

_ “Ray, trust me, that guy was not responsible for this. This one started by natural causes.” _

“I don’t get why you’re so calm about this.” Ray understood his point, but it didn’t make him feel better about the situation.

_ “Because this isn’t something to get panicked over. It’s been called in and we’re in good conditions at the moment. These fires happen all the time, it’s why we’re out here. That area’s a problem area anyways, it’s had several fires run through there before, it’s not like it’s surprising.”  _ Ryan explained,  _ “I understand the concern you have, and it’s touching, but it’s just your first time seeing these fires. It’s miles away and this is why we came out here, to watch the fire and make sure it doesn’t start traveling too much.” _

Ray shook his head, “I still feel like I should do something about this.”

_ “Then do your job, watch the fire. Enjoy the view and keep us posted,”  _ Ryan offered, voice lighthearted,  _ “They’re always mesmerizing to see.” _

“Is it really okay to just do that?” Ray asked.

_ “Very okay, and you get paid to do it too.”  _ Ryan assured him.

Ray started to calm down at Ryan’s words, moving to leave his tower. His broken door swung open easily as he made his way out. The air smelled like smoke even as far away as he was, he’d never seen anything so frighteningly vibrant before in his life. Something about the air didn’t seem quite right either, as if smoke clung to the air all over.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Ray asked, a lump in his throat as he watched, terrified as he’d never seen anything like it before.

_ “It’s fine,”  _ Ryan reassured again, laughing a little at Ray’s hesitation,  _ “Take a look out there, it’s beautiful, isn’t it?” _

Ray nodded, feeling breathless, “Yeah… and terrifying.”

_ “It’ll grow on you after awhile.”  _ Ryan promised.

“The air feels thick…” Ray commented as he tried to take deep breaths, smelling smoke all over.

_ “Yeah, that’s the smoke. Can’t get away from that out here when there’s a fire.”  _

“Isn’t that dangerous?” 

_ “Not unless you’re right in it,”  _ Ryan informed him,  _ “Just relax, like I said, enjoy the view.” _

Ray shook his head, trying to get over the warning signs flashing through his head. He stared at the flames more, Ryan was right, the fire was beautiful in the most chaotic and destructive way, “... So… what did you call for? For the fire or did you want something else?”

_ “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t mainly for the fire, yes, but I figured, maybe we could talk some while you’re up. Unless you want to just go back to sleep?” _

Ray shook his head again, “There’s no way I can sleep tonight, not after this.”

_ “Then, you want to talk while we firewatch?”  _ Ryan offered.

Ray slowly nodded, “... Yeah… what do we talk about?”

_ “Anything you want to.” _

“I’m very indecisive.”

_ “I know, me too.” _

“Come here often?” Ray attempted, getting another laugh from Ryan.

_ “I try to make it an annual trip personally.” _

* * *

 

_ Day 58 _

* * *

 

As the days passed Ray was able to start enjoying his time perched far away from the fire. They hadn’t had any issues yet and all of them crossed their fingers that it would stay that way for the rest of their time out there. The burn crew had come out to put a controlled burn in a wide enough area around the fire that it seemed pretty contained. All that was left to do was wait patiently for the rest of summer to go by.

There were time where the solitude would wear down on him and of course bathing was necessary, so Ray had to excuse himself from his tower to make a trip down to the lake every so often. He tried to limit his bathing ritual as much as necessary so that he could maintain his watch but the smell of his own clothes was really bothering him. After a while of limiting himself to the creek he eventually got fed up of nothing getting clean enough. So he piled his clothes in his backpack and headed down towards the lake, telling the others to keep an eye out his way. Ryan agreed to, but not without keep Ray company while he ventured out, not that he didn’t at practically every other time of the day.

Ray followed the creek down towards the lake, the smell of smoke was heavy in the air from the fire and quickly became a topic of conversation. It was hard to believe that everything was actually fine. It just seemed ridiculous to him that a blazing forest fire could be considered okay but the others swore it was fine and under control.

“It’s just weird to know that there’s a massive fire and we just sit and watch it.”

_ “Well, just think about all the forest fires that start up around the world that people don’t get to see. Forest fires are more common than you think, a lot of them are natural occurrences. Sometimes the forest benefits from it too, clears out space, creates fertile land for new plants to grow, all kinds of good that can come out of a fire.”  _ Ryan explained for the upteenth time that week, just repeating the same lines he’d gone over with Ray just in slightly different wording. They’d been over it all again and again, Ray figured it was probably annoying Ryan but if it was he didn’t say anything about it.

“I know, I know, you keep telling me. It’s just still weird to me.” Ray kept saying, getting an amused laugh from Ryan.

_ “I mean, there are weirder things to find in nature.” _

“Yeah but I’m not as close to those.” Ray tried to justify his stance on the situation, knowing full well that it wasn’t entirely warranted.

_ “True,”  _ Ryan gave him that at least,  _ “But at least you just have to watch it. It’s pretty much the sole reason for you being out here.” _

“Hey, I know it’s dumb, but this is my first time having to deal with a forest fire. I’m not some seasoned firewatch vet.” Ray defended.

_ “I never said you were, I’m not pressuring you or anything. It always freaks out everyone the first time.”  _ Ryan assured him.

“So…,” Ray wondered as he hopped over the shallow part of the creek, past the waterfall near the lake, “How fast do they usually move?”

_ “Depends,”  _ Ryan sighed in thought, _ “I’d say a few miles per hour, I’m not exactly sure what the average it. Maybe like five if it’s slow but like if there’s some strong winds and it’s just absolutely taking to all the kindling then I’d say it could get up to about ten miles per hour.” _

“Jesus Christ, that’s not good.” Ray stopped, worried if maybe he really shouldn’t bother to go bathing at a time like this.

_ “Well, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to get up to ten miles out here. Not likely anyways, that’s insane, like more of grassland level fast,”  _ Ryan clarified,  _ “It could, potentially, but there’s only a small chance for that to happen. We haven’t exactly been getting heavy winds lately, it’s dry sure, but we’re not that bad off.” _

“So how fast is it traveling right now?” Ray asked, a little nervous.

_ “Not very far actually, and the burn crew down that way is getting it pretty well contained. It’s moving slowly so don’t worry about it.”  _

“Are you sure? Should I get back to my tower?” Ray started to feel guilty, as if he was slacking on his responsibilities.

_ “Nah, go ahead do what you have to do. I would say you’re limiting yourself a bit too much actually but I mean you’re keeping a good eye on the whole situation _ ,” Ryan encouraged him, trailing off a bit for a minute. Ray was happy to hear that, feeling good that he was actually doing his job properly. It was hard for him to tell most of the time, not having anyone hovering over him to tell him whether he was wrong or right,  _ “Hey Ray?” _

Ray stopped just as he was getting down the path to the lake shore, Ryan sounded a little off, “Yeah? What’s up?”

_ “You know I’m impressed with how well you’ve been doing, right?”  _ Ryan more told him then asked. Ray felt his chest swell a little, happy but surprised to hear the sudden sentiment,  _ “I mean, with all that’s been going on lately, and this being your first summer out here, you’ve really been doing well.” _

Ray couldn’t help the smile from creeping on his face as he made his way off the trail and onto the shore of the lake, “Really? You think so?”

_ “Of course I do,”  _ Ryan admitted,  _ “You’re from the big city too, you’re not even from an area that has to be involved in these kinds of events but you really took the job seriously instead of it just being a kick around job. That means a lot, really it does. Especially to all of us, I mean, we’ve had several people come out here trying this job who think it’s all a bunch of lazy-” _

Ray felt his face heat up, a little embarrassed to hear the compliments, he sat down his backpack now that he was at his destination and just started to wonder as Ryan talked. He liked hearing Ryan being serious, it was one of the many traits he really enjoyed. He joked a lot they all did, but Ryan was by far the most blunt and honest of them all. If he had something to say, he rarely backed down from saying it, but spouting compliments wasn’t a big thing that he did. He’d generally tell people what was good, what was bad, he’d empathize and reassure people, but he wasn’t about to lie just to make someone feel better. If he genuinely thought you were being stupid, he’d call you out, often times that was just Gavin or Michael though. When you thought you were being stupid, he often times could understand the reasoning behind it and make out the situation to be justified, but when it came to a real compliment that wasn’t just caked in reasoning, that was hard to find. It made it all the more enjoyable when Ryan would set aside the time and choose his words for it though.

Unfortunately, while they were having their moment together, something else started to grab Ray’s attention. There was a strange noise that kept going on and on in his other ear. Ray brought his ear away from his Radio and heard to better off in the distance, somewhere in the grass just up from the shore. It sounded like it was up the other path from the lake.

_ “-But yeah, I’m really proud of the work you’ve done so far.” _

“Wait, Ryan, hang on…” Ray had to stop him, trying to hear the noise. Ryan stopped for a second, but Ray couldn’t hear it anymore.

_ “...Did I say something wrong?”  _ There the noise was again, just as Ryan spoke up again.

“No, no, I really appreciate what you’re saying,” The noise kept going, on and on again, “Sorry, I’m really not trying to sound like an asshole I just keep hearing this weird noise near me, it’s bothering me…”

_ “A weird noise what kind of noise?”  _ Ryan asked.

Ray sighed, he’d started trying to find the source of it but it stopped again when Ryan stopped talking, “I don’t know but it’s really killing the mood right now.”

_ “Oh,”  _ Ryan lightened up, chuckling,  _ “I thought for a second I was talking too much.” _

The noise kept persisting, but it stopped whenever they stopped talking. Ray’s eyebrows pinched together, irritated, “No, I love every word you- God dammit, what the fuck!”

The noise started up again, a little louder, but only when he’d started to talk.

_ “What?” _

“The goddamn noise, what the…,” As his voice raised he followed the noise a little further towards the grass, the noise got louder as he spoke. For a second, the noise sounded like a voice, “Hang on… stop talking for a second.”

Ryan did as he was told, the line went silent, neither spoke. The noise stopped again, just as it had been. Ray quietly spoke to Ryan, “Hey, can you shout something into the radio really quick?”

_ “What? Why?” _

“Just do it.”

_ “Uh… alright… um… I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AAAAFRICAA!”  _ Ryan belted out, his usual deep voice cracking in a horrible high key as he attempted to sing, or at least it seemed like it was an attempt at singing.

As much as Ray wanted to laugh at Ryan’s choice of shout, hearing the same line echoing from somewhere in the grass made it very unsettling. His stomach churned again, he hadn’t felt so suddenly on edge since the trouble with the random fires. That same feeling was coming back, as Ray moved towards past a fallen log, seeing a radio laying on the ground right by it with a backpack that Ray didn’t recognize.

_ “Is that good? Why did I do that?”  _ Ryan asked, the echo came from the radio on the ground.

Ray licked his lips, his mouth very dry all of a sudden, his hand shook as he reached out towards the discarded radio, “...Yeah… no… Ryan?” Ray freaked himself out, hearing his own voice echo through it.

_ “Yeah, what’s wrong?” _

“There’s a radio on the ground here.” Ray voice became very uneasy, nearly shaky as he brought it up close. He could hear his every word and Ryan’s coming through it as he turned it over, there were words on the back inscribed on an old piece of masking tape.

_ “A radio? What kind of radio?” _

Ray read the back of it outside, “‘Property of Washakie station, frequency 8’, Ryan this is Michael’s-”

Just as he got out Michael’s name, a flat, blunt smack hit him hard in the head, hurling him forward. It was like all conscious line of thought severed in an instance, his vision blurred and lost focus as his body lost control of it’s balance. Ray fell forward, landing hard on the ground. The sound of Ryan’s voice shouting barely registered with him as he closed his eyes, slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

 

Ray woke up to a sharp pain resonating from the back of his head. He groaned, limbs coming back to life as the crawled about in the dirt and grass. He opened his eyes, the look of daylight had shifted, there were dark red and orange tones to the atmosphere now, telling him how late it was. His eyes took several minutes to adjust to light once again, he sat up, limbs feeling limp and exhausted. Ray rubbed the back of his head cautiously, the skin there felt tender and bruised, every light touch sent paint straight through him.

The sound of static resonated close by, Ray looked towards it, eyes squinted against the light. He crawled towards it, wheezing noises coming from him and he tried to catch his breath. He picked it up, recognizing it as his own, he recalled the events that happened. Remembering how he’d found Michael’s radio close by. A quick glance over his surroundings and he couldn’t see it, nor did he see the strange backpack either.

 

                                                                                                       

 

He checked his radio, it was still on and open, but he imagined that the battery wasn’t doing so great. A little icon at the top right corner of it’s screen in the shape of a battery confirmed his assumption. He brought it up to his face, wobbling a bit, “...Ryan?” His voice sounded weak and he cleared his throat, trying again, “Ryan?”

_ “Ray!”  _ A voice answered, distinctly not Ryan’s, it took Ray a second with a very skeptical look on his face to realize it was Geoff but before he could ask why Geoff was on the line, his questions were quickly swallowed by Geoff’s own,  _ “Are you okay? What happened to you? We’ve trying to figure out what happened.” _

“Geoff I-”

_ “Ryan said you found a radio-” _

“Geoff!” Ray made himself known a little louder, getting Geoff’s attention, “Not so loud… fuck…”

_ “Ray!”  _ Just as Geoff stopped, Gavin started, and soon everyone else voice sounded off too in a chorus echoing his name. It would have been a sweet gesture if it didn’t come so loud and full of concern.

“...Ow…” Ray groaned loudly moving the radio away as he held his head, a headache hit him hard like a hand was coming up from the bruises in the back of his head and squeezing hard on his temples. The other went on and on, each one trying to talk over the other to ask the same questions until finally Ryan just shouted out a loud “SHUT UP”, and they all stopped.

_ “Goddamn, would you all just stop for five seconds,”  _ Ryan got them all to stop with a few mutters from Michael and Geoff. Out of all the voices coming through, Ray was grateful that Ryan’s was the one he could focus on for the moment. His deep voice was calm and softer, ignoring his still obvious worry to try and not make the situation worse,  _ “Ray, are you alright?” _

Ray breathed out slowly, “... Mmm… I don’t… know. My head hurts, I was hit… with… something in the back of my head… What time is is? How long was I asleep?”

_ “You have no idea? Were you passed out?”  _

“I think knocked out is more… a better… whatever, you know what I’m saying.”

_ “Yeah, yeah, it’s just… it’s been about four hours. That’s a long time to be out like that. We were worried, all of a sudden you just went silent.”  _ Ryan explained,  _ “I told the others because you never responded.” _

Ray nodded along, listening to Ryan, “It’s not here anymore.”

_ “What’s not there?”  _ Ryan kept his calm,  _ “Sunshine, what’s not there?” _

“The radio, it’s not here, not anymore,” Ray groaned as he got to his feet, arms swinging out for balance, a rush of blood through his body made his head thunder a bit more but he managed to get himself back together, “I found Michael’s radio.”

_ “My radio?”  _ Michael came into the conversation.

Ray nodded again, “It had a strip of… of masking tape on the back, said ‘Washakie station, frequency 8’.”

_ “That’s it, that’s the one I lost,”  _ Michael confirmed,  _ “You just found it, where?” _

“On the ground, my side of the lake. It was open to my frequency.” Ray told him.

_ “What… that’s fucking impossible…” _

“No, I heard me and Ryan talking through it, it was on our frequency… someone… someone has it.” The full impact of his own words caught up to him, he wanted to throw up, “Someone’s been listening to us…”

Just like that everyone went quiet, they were all aware of what that meant. Ray looked around, there was hardly anywhere to hide and he didn’t feel like someone was there with him, but he did feel like he was being watched. He knew now why he never could see them but still felt that way, he looked at the radio in his hand, they’d been listening the whole time. 

Ray snapped back when Geoff started talking again _ , “Everyone listen up. After this I want you all to close your lines, shut off your radios and only contact specific frequencies. Ray, only talk in cases of emergency and to report about the fire. Ryan-” _

_ “I know.”  _ Ryan interrupted.

They must have had the same thought because Geoff didn’t question him further,  _ “From this point on assume whatever you say is not in a private call.” _

_ “What do we do then?”  _ Gavin asked nervously.

_ “Do your job, watch what you say.”  _ Geoff answered,  _ “Ray, you need to hold tight for a while, we’ll talk to you.” _

It seemed to Ray like he’d just been thrown into a scene from a cop show where the whole team was sat down and given their assignments, he felt so out of place it was strange to him to hear all of this. Right now he wasn’t sure what he should do, he certainly didn’t feel comfortable doing what he came out there to do, it was like nowhere was safe now, but he supposed the best course of action was to do as Geoff said. 

If the person with the radio couldn’t hear them, then they wouldn’t know anything. They wouldn’t be able to tell where they’d be, what they were doing, they wouldn’t be able to stalk him so easily. He didn’t know what they wanted out of this, what they wanted from him or the others, but it would stop.

“...Alright…”

_ “The is goodbye for now,”  _ Geoff told him seriously,  _ “Ryan, open a call with me afterwards, we need to have a talk.” _

With that, everyone said their goodbyes and exited the call. The radio’s went silent, one by one, and no one called back. Ray felt alone, scared, and vulnerable out in the open. He took off back towards the creek, away from the lake where he felt so exposed. He washed his clothes there but he didn’t want to bathe. He’d suffer being gross and having to wash up in his tower but not out there. Not when he knew he could be watched and had nowhere to hide.

* * *

 

Noone talked that night. Noone tried to reach out to him for contact. Ray got back, strung up his wet clothes, and watched as the sky grew dark and the fire in the distance roared. He paced his tower that night, not going out on his deck, but peering from the windows to see if anyone was down there, watching him. Every little thing started to freak him out, he’d see some kind of movement out of the corner of his eye and try to find it, seeing nothing and wondering whether or not he imagined it.

Eventually he just had to sit down and watch the fire from his bead, numbing his mind away with the flames but preferring the distraction it gave. From time to time, Ray would glance over at Ryan’s tower, light always on at night. Ray could only ever tell that Ryan was there when a shadow moved across the tower. It was the one comfort Ray really could get at the moment besides Gunther who just seemed oblivious to all of his roommates life struggles and chewed contently on a piece of lettuce. His hand wandered to the glass at one point, feeling the odd coolness that lingered on the panes.

The drawing he’d made of Ryan at the beginning of the summer was still hanging there, a reminder of how little he knew of Ryan physically. Their relationship was solely based on communication at this point, which, in a way, made Ray wonder if that was a good thing. He remembered relationship advice he’d heard somewhere before, probably in a movie or a magazine about how communication was everything in a relationship. Never had those words been so true for him. Now that they were cut from talking it just wasn’t right, they’d gotten so comfortable with their constant conversations that having it unnaturally severed actually hurt. He understood that he couldn’t contact Ryan right now but he wasn’t sure how long he could go without his voice, especially now that he was so freaked out and didn’t know what to do. For now all he could do was just sit and watch the fire in silence.

* * *

 

Day 61

* * *

 

Two days passed without a single word from the others. No one had reached out to Ray and it had started to turn him into a nervous wreck again. Sleeping was near impossible, he didn’t want to shut his eyes and wake up to someone hovering over him. He’d taken to making the shitty coffee his supply drops offered him. He didn’t care much for the stuff but it worked to keep him up. Although, at this point he wasn’t sure which would be worse, trying to sleep with the thoughts of being stalked or forcing himself to stay awake with those same thoughts while he tried to avoid looking at anything but the fire. 

Whenever he did get to sleep it was a dreamless powernap that he’d slip into without noticing. He’d suddenly wake up, not knowing when he’d fallen asleep or what time it was. It wasn’t healthy, he knew that, but he just didn’t feel comfortable in his own space anymore. It was claustrophobic to him again and going outside wasn’t any better. Despite how big of an area he had to look over, it felt even more cramped and unsafe then his own tower. He felt trapped in his tower, the thought of going outside scared him so much that he became as reclusive as possible in his own tower. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go out there, it was just that he was afraid of what might happen. Last time he’d gone outside, he’d been knocked unconscious, so it wasn’t as if this person was afraid to be violent. Now that they’d made that known, who knew what they were prepared to do. They were out in the woods, no help for miles on each side, and noone was talking to each other. Ray couldn’t help thinking about it, he could drop dead, his body could be disposed of, and he might never be found again. Outside was out of the question for the time being.

On the third day of silence, around noon, Ray couldn’t take it anymore. He picked up his radio and tuned it to Ryan’s frequency. He felt nervous, knowing that they’d said that they’d contact him but he didn’t want to go through this alone anymore.

“...Ryan?” He asked, weirded out by the sound of his voice, having not really talked at all for the past few days, “Ryan, are you there? I know this isn’t an emergency… um… .” He looked back out his window as he didn’t hear anything, he wasn’t really sure what he could say. He had to choose his words carefully, now knowing that everything they said could be heard by this person. Anything too personal could potentially jeopardize them, and there was no way of knowing how much they already knew about their relationship.

“Uh… the fire is doing fine. Moving along that problem area you told me about…,” He sighed, not knowing how to keep this up, “Ryan, I’m going crazy here, are you there or not?”

The radio was quiet and Ray huffed after a moment, setting his radio down on his desk. He fidgeted with the paper on his desk, not drawing or writing, just ripping up the sheet in frustration and boredom.

When his radio spat out static, Ray nearly jumped a foot in the air. Ryan’s voice came in and Ray grabbed his radio, nearly ready to talk over him, except that his voice was completely off.

_ “Ray!” _ Ryan’s voice cheerfully replied,  _ “How are you, having a great day?” _

Ray raised an eyebrow, mouthing out the words “What the fuck” to himself, he slowly clicked the button to talk, “Ryan?”

_ “Yep?” _

“Are you… alright?”

_ “I’m doing just fine.”  _ Ryan replied, quick and way too peppy sounding.

Ray glanced about, not really knowing what was going on, Ryan sounded so fake, “You’re freaking me out.”

_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  _ Ryan dismissed, still using that weird tone of voice.

“Umm… what’s this about…?” Ray asked, not buying that for a second.

_ “I’m glad you called, I was just about to let you know that your supplies just got dropped off in your supply box.”  _ Ryan ignored him.

Ray had a quizzical look on his face, “But… that’s not for another couple of -”

_ “Nope, it’s here, you must have gotten the dates mixed up.”  _ Ryan cut him off.

Ray opened his mouth to question him further but stopped himself, finally catching on to what Ryan was saying, “...Oh… right… I forgot.”

_ “Yep, should be some good stuff in there this time. I told them to pack you up that soup you like so much. So why don’t I just stop talking to you until you get down there, I don’t want to distract you today.”  _ Ryan began to end the conversation abruptly, before Ray could say anything more, Ryan cut him off again with a more forceful tone,  _ “Be sure to remember your map. When you get there, give me a call.” _

Ray caught the message, and let the radio cut off into silence. He looked out towards Ryan’s tower, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. There was something he wanted Ray to find out there at the supply drop, and Ray took a minute to prepare himself to leave, grabbing up his map like Ryan told him to. He hesitated to leave, the same fear that had kept him inside was still there. He went to his kitchen area, taking the knife he’d gotten to use for food. It was only a butter knife, but it made him feel a little better anyways. 

He opened his door slowly, the gust of heavy smoke hit him in the face. It wasn’t as if the smell of the fire was new to him, his tower didn’t exactly keep it out very well, but the sudden swarm of it all was a bit much. He made his way down his tower slowly, not quite ready to just leave but with the way Ryan was talking, there was something he needed to know and if it meant he got to talk to Ryan again, then he’d gladly run all the way there if he had to.

Ray quickly started to make his way over there, taking his shortcut but going down the steep hill and over the gap in Thunder Canyon. He made his way onto the trail up through the Mule Point area. At this point Ray had a long stretch of woodland to make his way through, and the trudge through seemed to stretch out a lot longer than it usually was.

The leftover burns in the area chilled Ray like they had his first time through and little noises had him jumping and looking all around himself. He never saw anyone and he knew better, that there was probably noone there. That it was probably just a squirrel or something but the fact remained that there was someone, out there, somewhere. They could be there, that possibility kept him on edge.

Ray remembered that day, back in the beginning, when he’d pissed Ryan off on his way up to Beartooth Point. How scared he’d been to be out there in complete silence like that, it wasn’t too off from how he felt now, only this time the threats had a little more behind them. He tried to pick up his pace and get through it as fast as he could but there was no stopping him from looking behind him every now and again.

Once he got out of Mule Point, he started jogging and climbing his way up towards the supply drop, not wanting to be out there any longer than he had to. He did feel a little safer in the area though, considering there weren’t nearly as many trees or hiding places that close to the ledge. He sprinted the last stretch to the box and through it open.

Ray let out heavy breaths, confused. Out of the many things he didn’t know what to expect, this surely was not what he was thinking about. In it was just a sheet of plain paper. Ray picked it up, letting the lid fall shut as he took a closer look.

On the paper was a jagged line made of small intervalled line segments, each corner having a small circle connecting the hard angles. Next to the weird line was another circle with the number “302” written over it. Ray looked up, seeing Ryan’s tower, he shrugged at it, as if Ryan could see his confusion and answer his questions.

He got out his radio, “Ryan, what the hell is this?”

No response.

“Ryan, are you there? Hey! What the hell is this paper?” Again, no response, “I’m not going to stop bothering you until you answer me.”

Finally Ryan responded,  _ “Goddamn it, use your map.” _

Ray almost snapped back at Ryan for snapping at him, it wasn't his fault Ryan gave him a dumb ass clue. He let out a huff and sat down in the dirt, getting his map out from his backpack and laying it out. He wasn’t sure what this hint was supposed to mean to him, but he’d atleast humor it. 

He looked over the map, confused for a minute. He didn’t see any trail that fit the pattern that Ryan had drawn. Ray gave out another sigh, thinking maybe he was approaching it the wrong way. He looked at where he was at the map, the supply drop, whatever Ryan had planned out it couldn’t be much farther than where he was at the moment. There was the emergency lift on the next path up, but that didn’t fit the sheet of paper and it didn’t strike him as the best place. He’d been up that way before, briefly, it was just an old rickety gondola that Ray never wanted to step foot on. Looking over the edge from where he was, he could see the lines of it connecting down into Ryan’s area. He tried not to hurl as an image of riding that thing came to mind.

A little further southeast of his position was Beartooth point, the area where those two girls had cut their line. As he looked at the line marking the telephone wires, he realized a striking familiar image. Grabbing the piece of paper, he put it over his map, side by side with the telephone line. The line drawn on the paper matched it and sure enough, just nearby down in Beartooth’s little clearing was a cache box marked 302.

Ray jumped up, “Oh shit,” He was so proud of himself for figuring it out, “Oh shit, fuck yeah!”

Without another moment to lose, Ray picked up his backpack and took off for Beartooth Point. He hadn’t been down that was since the incident with those two drunk girls but he was pleased to find that a climbing rope had been hooked up for him over the gap that had trapped him before. Even more then that, there was another piece of paper lying nearby it, weighed down with a rock. On it was a drawing of an up arrow with a little address to him “To Sunshine, from Ryebread.”

Ray couldn’t stop himself from laughing as he looked over the sheet and tucked it safely away in his backpack. His heart thudded as he realized what that meant, Ryan had been in his area. As Ray started to climb, his mind even entertained the possibility that Ryan could still be in his area. As he got over the top and climbed up to oversee the area, he saw the cache box down below.

His heart sunk a little when he didn’t see anyone nearby, having gotten his hopes up that Ryan could be there waiting for him. Despite his own disappointment for fooling himself for a minute there, he made his way down to the cache box and went to open it. Ray dialed in the usual code, 1234, but it didn’t unlock. He tried again, mixing up the tumblers and trying it once more, jiggling the lock. Nothing.

Frustrated, he got out his radio again, “Ryan, I’m at… the um… the spot. I can’t get it open.”

It didn’t take long for Ryan to respond,  _ “7-2-9-0”  _

Ray scrunched his face up, confused, but punched in the numbers. The lock came off with a click, “Why did you change it?”

Ryan didn’t respond again and Ray sighed in annoyance, putting his radio away. He opened up the box and inside was a small radio. He picked it up, looking it over. There was a label on this one up the side that read “Thorofare, Frequency 13”. 

Ray quickly got the hint and tuned it to Ryan’s, “Ryan? You there? I got it.”

_ “You’re talking though it?”  _ Ryan asked, making sure.

“Yeah, I’m talking through… 13.” Ray confirmed, calling it by it’s frequency so he wouldn’t have to directly call it out.

Ryan gave a huge sigh of relief,  _ “Thank god we can talk now! I’ve missed the sound of your voice, sunshine.” _

Ray let out a burst of laughter for reasons even he didn’t know.

_ “Oh yes,”  _ Ryan encouraged happily,  _ “Let me hear that laughter baby.” _

Ray obliged, mostly because of how ridiculous Ryan sounded now, “What the hell, all of this for a radio?”

_ “Hey, it makes sense, Geoff figured that the radio they had must only be on your frequency since yours would have been the only one Michael was on that day so the solution was to get you on a different frequency. That radio’s an old one, might not work as great but at least noone but us knows the code so you should be just fine.”  _ Ryan explained.

Ray shook his head, a grin on his face, “So… what? Did you come out here just to leave me those notes?”

_ “Yes.” _

Ray started laughing again, “You couldn’t just hand me the damn radio? You were out here and you didn’t come find me or tell me to meet you? We could have met!”

_ “No, this was the way. We couldn’t have met up, there’s zero time for that.” _

“There was time.” Ray called bullshit, not that he was angry at Ryan, it would have been nice to see him him but he wasn’t going to bawl about it, he just wanted to tease Ryan and give him a hard time. Payback for the shitty clues.

_ “There wasn’t, I’ve been busy doing things, all the day!” _ Ryan tried to justify hs actions in defense, words fumbling as he did so and making him laugh.

“Really? All the day? Like making a shitty map of the telephone wires?” Ray pointed out.

_ “I had to come up with a way that only you could find it. The supply box was open when I got out here so I had to change my plans and move it to the cache box.”  _

“Okay, so why’d you change the code, I don’t think they’d know it.”

_ “Well, I didn’t know, I just figured it would be safer if you had to ask. Geez, I thought it was a nice gesture.”  _ Ryan said defensively.

“I’m just giving you a hard time, I’m glad to hear your voice.” Ray admitted.

_ “I was going a little crazy too, but now we should be able to talk no problem. At least, when you get back to your tower.” _

“Right,” Ray remembered how exposed he was out there still and started heading back around, deciding to go the southeast way back, “This is great though, why didn’t you tell me this as the plan?”

_ “In case they were listening in, I mean, I’ve always had this backup radio around. Thorofare doesn’t really need it, it’s got one of those radios that connects all over, even to the rangers station, it doesn’t really need this backup one, but it works just fine. We kind of always had a plan if someone’s radio ever killed out, a way to get them a radio without having to get the rangers involved.”  _ Ryan explained.

“Good backup.”

_ “It works anyways.” _

“Anything to keep you from talking with that creepy ass voice you put on earlier, what the fuck even was that?” Ray asked with a laugh.

_ “Alright, I’ll admit, that was dumb as hell. I’m not good at acting.”  _ He admitted.

“You don’t say?” Ray teased

_ “Oh yeah, and you were just so much better? “The fire is doing fine”,”  _ Ryan mimicked Ray,  _ “Yeah, that was so much better, bravo, where’s that trophy oscar winner?” _

“You’ll have to just trust me, it’s in my tower.” Ray countered.

_ “Oh, is that it? Excuses, excuses, I’ll believe it when I see it.”  _

“I’ll show you when I get back to my tower.”

_ “I can’t wait to see that…,”  _ Ryan trailed off for a second, giving a laugh,  _ “Whoa… that was fast… Got a little antsy?” _

Ray stopped, raising an eyebrow, “That was random, what are you talking about?”

_ “I just looked over at your tower, you got back really quick.”  _ Ryan commented, nonchalantly.

Ray on the other hand was not so calm, he gestured out towards the woods around him, “What do you mean? I’m not even halfway back yet?”

_ “You’re not?” _

“No, I’m not even halfway back yet.” Ray emphasized how far away he was from his tower.

Ryan’s cheerful tone dropped in an instance,  _ “Then who’s in your tower.” _

Ray felt the blood drain from him, his stomach churned, “That’s not me…”

Cluttering and things dropping could be heard through the radio, Ryan’s breathing as close to his radio, which worried Ray more as he could hear how panicked he was getting,  _ “I can’t see what they look like, it’s just a shadow by your door.” _

“Are they in my tower?” Ray asked, panicked as well.

_ “No, they’re just at your door,”  _ Ryan told him, Ray started to move a little faster,  _ “Ray stop.” _

“Wha-”

_ “Stop moving, I can hear you through the radio, do not go back yet.”  _ Ray wasn’t warning him, he was telling him.

“Ryan, I have to get there, that’s my tower-”

_ “You’re not going back while they’re at your door, they knocked you out last time you found the radio, you are not going to find out what they’re ready to do to you if you see them.”  _ Ryan told him, voice serious. He was right and Ray didn’t want to find out either, but there was no telling what this person was doing at his tower. 

“Ryan, what if this is the person who’s been lighting fire?” Ray asked.

Ryan sighed,  _ “I have no doubt that they are.” _

“Then… what happens if they light my tower on fire?” Ray questioned, serious. It seemed like he was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t.

Ryan seemed stumped by what to do for a minute as well,  _ “...At least you won’t go up in flames with it.” _

Ryan’s point hit Ray pretty hard, he hadn’t really thought too much about that. Now he was just left, out in the middle of the forest with no idea of whether he should go to his tower or get as far away from it as possible.

_ “Wait, wait…,”  _ Ryan made him jump in anticipation, not knowing what was happening,  _ “They’re leaving… they’re leaving your tower.” _

Ray gestured his hands out, confused, “And?! What do I do? Do I go? Do I not? What do I do?”

_ “I… I don’t know… but they just left.”  _ Ryan shrugged.

Ray paced in a circle, he wanted to go back to his tower but he was conflicted. He didn’t want to see them, he certainly didn’t want to run into them, but a part of him felt so violated now. His home for the summer, all this time, they could have just gone up to his door. How many times did they already do that? What did they want from him? What were they doing at his tower anyways?

Ray let out a groan before he sprinted off in the direction of his tower, “Fuck it!”

Despite Ryan’s shouts for him to stop, Ray tried to make it back to his tower as fast as he could, following the telephone lines back until he was in familiar territory. When he got close enough to his tower, he slowed down, becoming as quiet as he could and sneaking close. 

When he got up to his tower, he made sure noone was hanging around the area before he took a chance and made a break for it. He noticed that the tower seemed fine, there wasn’t anything suspicious around the base or along the stairs, which only made the anticipation worse to see what had been done to the top.

Ray got to the top and felt a cold chill run through him when he saw something posted to his door. He got up closer, grabbing it from the door. It was a small, laminated white square with a note scribbled on it with a marker. The words on it made Ray feel sick.

 

                                                                                                         

 

On it read, “No hiding”. Ray sucked in an uneasy breath as he turned it over. It wasn’t a piece of paper, it was a photograph, an older one, polaroid. The picture was of him, standing by one of the fire from before, looking straight at the camera.

 

                                                                                                  

 

Ray tore his eyes away from it, looking around him, as if he’d see them. He was so scared now, he had no idea what to do. He barged into his tower, pushing the door closed and locking it by putting his chair against it as strong as it would hold, all the while he was breathing so heavily he was almost hyperventilating, and there was no way he could hide it from Ryan. The entire time he’d been asking over and over again if he was alright but Ray was stuck in his state of panic. He dropped his backpack as he sank to the floor under his desk, the only place he could think of to hide him at the moment. He sat there with his radio, listening to Ryan’s worry as he tried to find a way to cope with the situation.

The picture had fallen from his hands on the floor across from him and he stared at it. The words burned into his mind. “No hiding”. He put his head in his hands, they’d been watching him. All those times out there, putting out the fires, seeing noone. It was just a way for this sicko to get him out of his tower, so he could take pictures. But why, that was what bothered him the most. He couldn’t figure out why this was happening, why this person was doing this to him, what gain came from this.

_ “Ray, talk to me!”  _ Ryan’s voice thundered, serious, his voice rough from shouting this whole time for information.

Ray fumbled the radio in his hands, but finally he spoke, “... Ryan… I need you to help me… please…”

* * *

 

He slowly and steadily went over the situation with Ryan, explaining what he’d found, what he’d just figured out. Ryan was able to calm him down some but he was also worried. Together they thought up different things to do. He had Ray take down his maps and pin them around the inside of his tower. At night or whenever he needed to, he’d be able to drop them down like blinds to block anyone from seeing inside. They all talked that night, everyone, now that they could again. There was no way they were going to just leave it at that. Geoff immediately went to call the ranger station, this was too much to deal with. That made Ray feel a little better, although they wouldn’t have any contact until the next day, at least something could be done about this.

It was another sleepless night for Ray and at this point, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get any sleep until something was done about this stalker. Ryan kept him company for as long as he could that night but he was exhausted from running out that day just to get him that radio and get back to his own station. Eventually he just couldn’t stay up any longer and Ray didn’t want to put him through that either. Reluctantly, he opted out for sleep when Jack assured him he’d stay up with Ray that night.

It was surprising to Ray that Jack would do that, they hadn’t exactly been the absolute closest but then again, Jack was known more to be the support of the group.

* * *

 

Day 62

* * *

 

“What time is it?” Ray asked, exhausted and voice torn from all the events the previous day. He already knew it was morning and regretted asking Jack.

_ “It’s about four… twenty-five.”  _ Jack answered,

Ray grimaced, “I’m sorry.”

_ “For the hundredth time, Ray, don’t be.”  _

“You really don’t have to do this.” Ray pointed out to Jack again as if he would have forgotten after at least twenty times.

_ “I know, I want to.”  _ Jack told him sincerely,  _ “With what you’re going through, I don’t want you to be in that tower, talking to noone. After what you went through, anything could happen. You’re stressed out and panicked, I’m not going to leave you without someone to talk to, and you  _ can _ talk to me you know. You can say more than just “I’m sorry” and “You don’t have to do this”, you know? You can get things off your chest if you want to.” _

Ray bit his lip nervously, “...I’m sor-”

_ “Ray,”  _ Jack interrupted,  _ “Please stop apologizing.” _

“...I don’t know what else to say…”

_ “Anything, is there anything bothering you, obviously there’s the stalker but you probably are tired of talking about that..” _

Ray shrugged  to himself, “I don’t know… it’s like… I got cut off from everyone and then, as soon as we got one step ahead then...then this shit happens.”

_ “And we’re going to handle that. Geoff put in a call, the rangers are going to figure out something now.”  _ Jack assured him.

“But what if they don’t catch them?” Ray asked nervously.

Jack let out an annoyed sigh, not so much at Ray but for the whole situation,  _ “Then we’ll do the next best thing.” _

Ray scrunched his face up, confused, “What’s that?”

_ “We’ll send you back to civilization.”  _ Jack told him simply. His tone was serious, calm, but very serious,  _ “Listen to me Ray, we’re not going to leave you in the woods with some mad man. The station knows, they already got the reports with the strange fires, after this they’ll definitely be doing something, especially since you have photographic evidence now. They at least gave you something while they were being a creepy piece of shit. But even if nothing happens from the cops, you’re allowed to leave this job whenever you’ve had it. People do that all the time, most do it because they can’t take it, in your case it’s a serious threat. If you want to leave, we’ll call the station to come and get you, but we are not going to put you through this any longer than necessary.” _

As tough as Jack sounded, the words were very comforting to Ray. It was so nice to know that he actually cared for him that much. The way his tone shifted told Ray just how intent he was on all of this mess turning out right for Ray in the end. Jack was pissed and Ray wasn’t used to that, he’d talked to Jack several times before, he wasn’t ever pissed before though. No, the little emphasis he put into certain words showed how much he was seething internally but he’d still keep his calm. 

Ray smiled, feeling a little warmer, “Thanks Jack…”

_ “Don’t worry about it,”  _ Jack replied, calming down a little more and sounding genuinely gracious,  _ “And I mean that. Don’t worry about this, we’ve got your back no matter what happens.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also want to thank you all for your lovely comments. I enjoy reading them, and don't be discouraged if I don't respond. Again, I read every comment and I take in what you guys are saying even if I don’t get around to correcting anything, your opinions and suggestions may have an impact. It’s like I’m the sorting hat and you guys are Harry Potter. So if I’m like, hey, bruh, what about slytherin? And you guys are like, how about anything but that? And I’m like, but, greatness, you know. And you guys are like, nah, I’m good. Then I’ll be like, okay, let me think about it, you drive a hard bargain.  
> I'm gonna go to sleep now...  
> <3
> 
> (Also still have no fucking clue what's happening with last weeks pictures, I tried, you'll just have to trust me on that, but for some reason they just won't upload so I gave up.)


	12. Detonation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tick tock

* * *

 

Day 63

* * *

 

Ray woke up to the unfamiliar sight of the maps circling around his tower, blocking the windows. His night had been thankfully dreamless although he wasn’t entirely sure how much sleep he’d managed to get. Every time he woke up it was like that feeling of being late for work, just a sudden need to get up as fast as possible. Sleep did not come easy, not while he knew what was going on. 

Yesterday the ranger station contacted Geoff and told him that they would make a few rounds along the road, checking for cars and keeping tabs on who was out there. This only brought Ray a small amount of comfort as it likely meant that they weren’t going to do anything to find the person. If anything, they’d probably just impound their car. 

He’d calmed down enough to understand why, there was a heavy focus on the fire and right now there wasn’t exactly enough manpower to be divided on a search for one person causing trouble. The could still just be causing trouble as a nasty prank, even though Ray didn’t see it that way, it was still possible, he understood that. He understood how impractical it would be to have people search through acres of forestry for just one person. Just because he could understand the reasons, didn’t mean he had to like the situation any better though.

Sure, they’d send someone out there to check for anything suspicious on the road side, but that wouldn’t do shit for him right now. If the asshole had pulled their little photo threat stunt before the big fire went up, they could have probably gotten something done.

The more Ray thought on it, the more bitter he started to get about it all. For one, the rangers wouldn’t listen to any of them normally. They’d called in about the person lighting those fires but as far as they were concerned, it wasn’t their problem. Now that there was an actual threat, they still wouldn’t do much, because now they were spread so thin that they couldn’t. It was pissing Ray off, like it was oddly convenient. It made him wonder if they knew it would pan out like this? Did they plan it out like that? He just felt like he was trapped now and he had no idea how to get out of the cage he’d actually helped put himself in.

After he managed to wake himself up, he went over to his south facing window by the door and rolled it up, all the while hoping there wouldn’t be some crazy asshole waiting for him behind the glass. Luckily, this person didn’t seem to be the jumpscare type and saved him from having that extra layer of trauma. Outside the fire was still going in the distance and heavy smoke had drifted his way again. It still didn’t seem to be out of hand though, at least, not from where he was. The smoke did make it difficult to see that way though.

He grabbed his new radio from his charger and briefly paused, seeing his original one laying down on the desk behind it. He didn’t intend to use it, but then again, he figured it might still come in handy. While his new radio wasn’t being charged, he picked up the old one and put it there instead. At least if he ever needed it, it would be ready. He had to tune his new one back to Ryan since yesterday he had to talk with Geoff for most of the day, so long that Geoff actually stayed up a long portion for the night with him until he felt tired enough to forget about whoever could be outside his tower.

“Ryan? You there?” He waited, sitting down at his desk. There was a long moment of silence, it lead Ray to believe he might not actually be there. He sat his radio back down and watched the trees outside swaying in the light breeze.

A tired voice eventually answered him,  _ “...Ray?” _

Ray smiled at the sound of his voice, “...Hey Ryan, I thought you were still asleep.”

_ “I was,” _ Ryan answered with a yawn,  _ “Not anymore. What are you doing up before me? Couldn’t sleep?” _

Ray noticed the worry in Ryan’s voice, he didn’t want to impact him with his own troubles but it seemed like everyone was affected by it in some way. Ryan was constantly worried, Geoff was scatterbrained lately, Jack was being overprotective, Gavin tried to come up with some kind of rationality to it all, and if Michael’s ankle was in top condition he would have already walked over there, searched up and down the whole place until he found the sonofabitch, and beat his ass to a pulp. What really seemed to bother all of them was their inability to do anything to help, they couldn’t rely on officials to do anything worthwhile and they couldn’t do it themselves because of their position at the moment. It was touching and Ray appreciated it more than he could say but he still wished that they didn’t put themselves through that kind of stress just because of him.

“Not really,” Ray admitted, “Sleep just… isn’t very easy right now.”

_ “I wish I could do something about that,” _ Ryan sympathizes, _ “You know… I know you won’t like this idea, but…” _

Ray squinted at Ryan’s hesitation, “What?”

_ “Well…,” _ Ryan paused, sighing like he already knew the answer, _ “We could send you home.” _

Ray’s face turned at that, “No.”

Ryan sighed again, exasperated,  _ “It  _ would _ be safer.” _

Ray’s face went a little red, annoyed about the topic. The conversation had been brought up multiple times by all of them, at first he’d thought about it too. As he thought and thought, he realized how much he hated the thought of giving in like that, “I already said no. The answer hasn’t changed.”

_ “I know, but it really might be an option to reconsider.” _

“I’m not going to give up because of this asshole.” Ray told him.

_ “You wouldn’t be giving up though,”  _ Ryan told him, _ “You’d be somewhere safe.” _

“I don’t want to let this person make my decisions for me, they want me to be scared, if I run they get what they want.” Ray explained, “I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of getting their way.”

Ryan started to say something back but audible swallowed it back down, letting out a huff of tired breath as he calmed down,  _ “...I don’t want to fight with you… I’m not trying to fight with you.” _

Ray stilled, his throat closed up on him, it just hit him how angry and aggressive he was being with Ryan. He’d just woken up, Ray had woken him up, wanting to talk to him and this was how he treated Ryan in return. That wasn’t fair and he didn’t want to talk like that with him. He wasn’t angry with Ryan, there was no reason to fight with him. Now he just felt awful, he felt sick and his eyes pricked a little, Ryan was being so patient and understanding.

_ “I just want you to be safe, _ ” Ryan told him,  _ “And right now… you’re not… and I can’t do anything about that.” _

The tears streamed out before Ray realized he was crying. The hurt in Ryan’s voice spilled over him and it made it worse to know it was all his fault, “...I’m sorry…”

Ryan sighed, patiently,  _ “Don’t be.” _

“I’m sorry,” Ray started to shake a little, his hand came over his mouth. Tired, stressed, and now he was angry and sad at himself. Inside him was a cocktail of emotions he didn’t want, “I’m sorry… I didn’t…”

_ “Ray, don’t, it’s just too early to get yourself worked up like this,”  _ Ryan tried to console him,  _ “You haven’t done anything wrong, you’re just tired.” _

Ray put his arm over his eyes, tears running over his arm, heated from how emotional he was. He could hear how weak he felt in his voice, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

_ “Ray, don’t do this, don’t put yourself in a corner like this. There’s no reason to cry, I’m not mad at you for anything-” _

“Why not!?” Ray exclaimed, wishing he hadn’t done that either but it just spilled out from him, “Why aren’t you upset with me? You don’t… you just give up, you don’t tell me how fucked up I am.”

_ “Because you’re not-” _

“I am!” Ray defended his point, “I fight with you and you just… why do you put up with me being like that? Why do you put up with my problems? Why do you even care about me at all?”

Ryan waited again, being so patient as he let Ray get it off of his chest before answering,  _ “Would it help you any if I hated you?” _ Ray’s eyes filled with more tears at the cold tone,  _ “Would it help if I yelled at you? Fought with you?” _

Ray was quiet, he had no answer and didn’t want to say anything. Was there even a right answer to give? He didn’t even know himself.

_ “Why would I want to make things worse for you, Ray? Why wouldn’t I want to care about you? I cared about you the first day you came out here, I cared because I knew you’d need someone to talk to, not because I loved you, because I knew what it was like to feel alone and scared. How fucked up of a person would I have been if I never contacted you for anything but orders,” _ Ryan’s voice raised _ , “What if I just decided, after that first conversation we had, to just say “Fuck you too then, you little asshole!”? I thought it, at the time, sure. But I never said it. Would you have talked to me ever again if I had said that? Probably not unless you were dying.” _

Ray felt like he was choking, Ryan really thought that he was that awful after all. He hadn’t been just abnormally optimistic, he didn’t like Ray at all that first night.

_ “I cared because it was important. I didn’t know you but I knew I wanted to eventually know you. I wasn’t attracted to you, I didn’t even like you back then, but I wanted to know you so that if something did happen, I’d know how to do everything I possibly could do to help you,”  _ Ryan started to waver in his voice,  _ “...I didn’t know I’d fall in love with you, I didn’t think I’d feel like I do towards you. I just remember thinking, what if he can’t take it out here? He’s young, he’s going to some remote place for several months, why is he doing that? Why did I do that? How would I respond if the only other people around me stopped talking to me? Stopped saying nice things to me? Stopped being there for me? It doesn’t help to be angry at someone, it doesn’t help to yell at them, it doesn't help to make them feel worse than they already do out here. It’s so hard knowing that your words out here matter so much. The isolation can destroy your mental state, a bad conversation could be the last one someone ever hears. People have tried to commit suicide out here… I don’t want to be the one who hurts you like that.” _

Ray’s knees were up to his chest and his hand went into his hair. His eyes burned as they shut tightly, tired and sad, overwhelmed by it all. He felt so loved but at the same time he didn’t deserve it. He felt that Ryan’s first impression of him was far more accurate, he was awful, nothing but an asshole, and here he was making life harder for Ryan and feeling sorry for himself all the while.

Ray shook it off, he had to be stronger than this. Right now he was just being a coward and making things far worse for everyone. He couldn’t just sit here, couldn’t keep living in fear from this person, “Thanks Ryan,” He eventually said, no more ‘I’m sorry’s, “You’re more patient than I deserve.”

_ “I wouldn’t say that, sunshine.” _

“I know,” Ray huffed a laugh, “But you’d think it.”

_ “Maybe from time to time.”  _ Ryan played back with him, taking on a lighter note. Ray on the other hand was thinking about what he could do to fix his situation. Staying in his tower was only going to make him crazy at this point, he needed an escape.

His looked out of his window, seeing the way the smoke traveled his way through the trees. It spurred a thought to him, his tower would be hard to see right now with the low visibility, especially at a distance. He could potentially leave right now, the question was where would he go? 

The next window over had a map of his area, larger, older. It caught his eye and he looked over the area. He’d been to practically all of it. The thought just nagged at him constantly, where the hell could they be hiding? He’d been around to so many places and hadn’t seen any hints at where they could be in all of that time. There wasn’t even any traces of a base camp, no left overs, no tracks, no tent. 

Then his eyes caught on an area to the northwest, Thorofare Basin. It was by the supply drop but he hadn’t really seen it. Ray sat up, curious now at the sudden revelation that he had never been to that portion of the map. As far is he knew the path by the supply drop just lead back to the lake. 

Ryan was talking to him but he didn’t quite hear him, he was too concerned by this late knowledge. He took down the map from the window and looked at it, it was in his area but there was no direct path it seemed. Thorofare Basin was surrounded by green on the map. To double check, Ray went to his backpack to find his map, leaving Ryan to continue talking as he tried to figure out if this lead anywhere.

When he pulled out the map, he noticed that it had the same appearance, no clear trails. Frustrated, he huffed a sigh until another piece of paper caught his eye in his backpack. Long since squashed under his rope was the old map he’d found in his supply drop at the beginning. He hadn’t given it any thought since then but it was the same map as his, showing the Two Forks region. The difference was it had all sorts of writing on it, little lines along paths, and notes from someone else who had gone through the same areas. Many areas had notes he could relate to, remembering the landmarks there. He gave a laugh at the little note by the shale wall towards Jonesy Lake “Shitty Boss is Going to Get Me Killed Hill”. He could even see where they’d mapped out the controlled burn for a forest fire at the time. It looked around the same region as the current one was, it really was a trouble area then.

When he looked up towards Wapiti Meadow he saw the notes marking the fence line he’d nearly forgotten about. That made sense why he’d never gone that way now, he’d forgotten it was completely closed off with that fence. Another note struck him as odd, the name ‘Wapiti Meadow’ had been crossed out and a new name had been given to it, surrounded in a black box, ‘Wapiti Station’. 

Ray raised an eyebrow in confusion, there wasn’t another station that way. Every station was occupied in the region, wasn’t it? With haste he returned to his desk and grabbed up his radio again, interrupting whatever Ryan was going on about, “Hey Ryan, there isn’t a watchtower in Wapiti Meadow, right?”

_ “Uhhh…,” _ Ryan took a minute to adjust to the sudden change in conversation, _ “....No, there’s no station there, why?” _

“I just remembered, back at the beginning of summer I found this old map in the supply drop. It has this note on it saying ‘Wapiti Station’.”

_ “Well… I don’t know what to tell you, but there aren’t any firewatchers there. There’s nowhere for them out that way. That’s where students come out and do test on the soil and weather pattern during the fall semester. I think I remember telling you about that, actually.” _

“Yeah, yeah, i remember that too.” Ray agreed excitedly.

_ “Okay… so? What’s this about exactly?” _

“Well… I know this sounds crazy but, you know I couldn't find any trace of campers or whatever out here when I was looking for the person starting fires, right?”

_ “...Right…” _

“Well, when I was looking I went everywhere on the map, following the trails. Everywhere but Wapiti Meadow, because it’s fenced off.”

_ “Okay, okay, slow down. I think I know where this is going, and I don’t like it. Don’t tell me you’re thinking of going out there to look for this lunatic.”  _ Ryan asked, concerned.

“It’s the only place I haven’t checked, Ryan.”

_ “Yeah, I get it, I don’t care about that,”  _ Ryan brushed off,  _ “I care about you, being safe, and not getting killed by some psychopath out in the woods.” _

“But what if I can find them?” Ray defended.

_ “Yeah, exactly, good question Ray. What if you  _ do _ find them? What’s the plan here Ray? Last time you got close they knocked you out and ran away, then when you get a new radio, they send you pictures with threats on the back. Doesn’t sound like they kind of person you want to be confronting here.”  _ Ryan argued. He had a good point, he was right, what kind of leverage could Ray possibly hold over this freak? Then it occurred to him, the person hadn’t killed him. They could have, no problem, but they didn’t. They knocked him out, they took pictures of him, they listened to Ray on the phone and sent threats when he was away. They always took the coward's way out of a situation and never really interacted up front. They didn’t want to be found, and they didn’t want him dead. They wanted something from him.

“They won’t hurt me, at least not anything serious.”

_ “They knocked you unconscious, that’s pretty serious.” _

“Yeah, but they didn’t kill me. They could have done it but they didn’t, so they must want me alive, right?” Ray reasoned. Ryan’s unconvinced silence spoke volumes of how unconvinced he was, “I’m not saying it’s a good thing, it still sucks, it still scares the crap out of me. But I don’t think they want me dead, whatever they want me for, it’s not to see me dead.”

Ryan breathed a heavy sigh,  _ “Alright, let’s say for a minute that you’re absolutely right, that they want something from you. Why do you want to go and find them, what if that’s what they’re wanting?” _

“Well… now that I think about it… what could they do to me?” Ray answered bluntly, getting bolder and bolder by the second. He couldn’t explain it, it was like his brain had figured out the motivation, the pros and cons. He felt a little safer thinking that he wouldn’t be killed anyways.

_ “A lot of things, Ray, they could do a lot of things. Things I really don’t want to think about happening to you.” _

“But, hang on, think about it. If anything happens to me, this person has to know that you guys are around, you guys will know if I go missing and if that happens, police with have to go on a hunt, right? I mean, however long this person’s been listening, they know we keep in contact and they know that we know about them. They’ve been really cautious not to be seen. If I can find where they’re camped at, I could probably find out who it is, give the rangers some more to go by.” Ray reasoned.

_ “Just because they know that people will come after you, doesn’t mean they won’t be afraid to act when you come around. Have you forgotten where we are Ray? This might be a National Park but it is acres and acres of woods and cliffs and caves. There are a lot of places to hide. Have you ever heard of stories where kids go missing and their bodies aren’t found for weeks or months, just random places in the woods? We have our areas for a reason, we don’t go straying unless we have to, we know the location, we’re not supposed to engage in any real threats. That’s not our job.” _

“Well right now,  _ my job  _ has me locked up in a tower like fucking Rapunzel and I’m not exactly the weave wearing type.” Ray justified, he was tired of being stuck there, “If they want me they can come and get me right now, because there’s one way up and one way down out here and right now. There’s nowhere to go from here, this is literally it. What I’m thinking is this smoke is pretty thick right now. Visibility has to be low. If I get down now… if that asshole’s watching me, I can get away without them seeing me. Then maybe I can find some answers while they try and figure out if I’m up here or not.”

_ “God Ray, would you listen to yourself, you sound crazy.” _

“Alright,” Ray took the words with ease, “I’m crazy then. But I’m not waiting here any longer being scared. I’m sick of this shit, I’m sick of putting you guys in this mess, I’m sick of freaking out all the time, I just want it to stop.”

Ryan returned silence again and Ray did the same, he didn’t blame Ryan, he was wondering why he wanted to do this himself. He was still terrified but something just compelled him to go and with out without Ryan’s approval, he’d do it. He just had to.

_ “Fine.”  _ Ryan eventually lamented, still not pleased by Ray’s decisions. Ray was surprised, he thought Ryan would protest more,  _ “But you’re talking to me the whole way through, got that?” _

Ray smiled, “You got it. I’m surprised you’re agreeing with me on this…”

_ “Well, it’s not like you’d do what I say anyways.”  _ Ryan admitted grumpily,  _ “If you’re sure it’s not like I can physically stop you from doing it. I still don’t agree with you.” _

“Right…,” Ray felt a little bad, knowing Ryan was only setting things aside to keep them both from yelling at each other essentially. He’d only set it all aside because there’s nothing he really can do, “I’m not doing this to piss you off, you know that right?”

_ “I know. I’m not pissed off either. You’ll do whatever you want to do, that’s fine. I just don’t think it’s safe, but… there’s nothing wrong with making decisions for yourself.”  _ Ryan explained his reasoning for setting aside their differences. His tone was not happy, he sounded as if he’d lost really, but he was giving Ray freedom to do what he pleased. For that, Ray was grateful, he didn’t like being told what he could and couldn’t do. He appreciated the concern and he saw the logic behind Ryan’s arguments, but he wanted to do this and getting that little nod from Ryan meant all the difference.

Ray grabbed his backpack, checking to see if he had his rope and carabiners set before he added in his water bottle and a few provisions. He wasn’t sure how long he intended to be out there and there was no telling when he’d come back. Before he could leave he realized that it might not be the best idea to leave Gunther in his box. 

Ray looked at the little turtle with a degree of sadness but if things did go wrong, it would be incredibly cruel to leave the little guy with nothing. He took the little guy out and placed some greens on the floor nearby, he hoped that he’d be back by the end of the day no problem. If not, at least he had faith that the little guy could eventually find a way out of there.

Gunther looked up at him, completely relaxed about the whole situation. Ray smiled at him, he enjoyed his little companion, “Just be good, little buddy.” 

He gave the turtle a little rub on the head before heading out of the tower. The air immediately made him cough and his eyes watered from the dense smoke. It was a good indication to him how thick the air was and how little could be seen of his tower. He put his shirt up over his nose and mouth as he went for the stairs, hardly able to see much beyond the tower. 

As he went, Ray stayed down, close to the railing. Effectively he practically crouch walked down the stairs. He wasn’t going to take any risks, not when it was still possible for this person to be watching. He didn’t feel comfortable until he was past the treeline and down on the ground. A weight was lifted from him as he got there, relaxed that he didn’t feel like a sitting duck anymore.

“Okay, I’m out of the tower,” He told Ryan, taking out his map, quickly planning his course, “I should cut through the canyon, it’ll be quicker.”

_ “No, don’t take that way.”  _ Ryan told him.

“Why not? It’s faster?” Ray questioned.

_ “Because you take that way all the time.” _

Ray paused, Ryan made a good point, he was too predictable, “I guess the way around Five Mile Creek is out.”

_ “Hold on, let me get my map of your area,”  _ the sounds of papers being pushed around sounded through the radio until Ryan’s voice came back through, blowing out air as he thought out the right course of action,  _ “Okay… remember that shale wall you climbed down when you told off those teenagers.” _

Ray huffed, “How could I forget?”

_ “I know you don’t like it but you haven’t been through that way since that day. I doubt they’d ever think you’d take that path again. Plus, it’s a quick way around still.” _

Ray didn’t really want to go that way but Ryan was right, it was better to take routes he didn’t normally go through. There was little chance this person would ever suspect he’d take those paths, “Alright, I’ll take the “Shitty Boss is Going to Get Me Killed Hill”.”

_ “The what?”  _ Ryan would have laughed if he weren’t too busy being serious.

“I was on an old map, someone else didn’t like that hill either.” Ray explained, “Same map that said there’s a station out in Wapiti.”

_ “I’m not sure I trust that old map.” _

“One way to find out.”

* * *

 

The trek out towards the shale wall was long but not as long as the trip around Five Mile Creek that he was used to. Although, he was used to taking the roundabout way because he had reason to. He had clothes to wash usually, or baths to take. Come to think of it, the thought of someone watching him as he took his baths freaked him out. Avoiding that creek sounded better the more he thought about it. 

He expected to have to replace the rope when he got there but it looked like someone had beat him to it. His old broken rope hung there still but there was a new rope right beside it. It made Ray feel sick at the sight, knowing that he hadn’t been the one to replace it. Still, it was convenient, and he took what good he could from the situation, successfully scaling the wall for the first time. When he reached the bottom he was just thankful his feet hit the ground and not his back.

He came out at the meadow and continued on towards the shore of the lake quietly. THankfully noone was there and there was no sign of anyone being there. It allowed him to make his way around the shore easy enough. According to the map, Wapiti station was closer to the lake, so he started following the shore’s edge.

_ “I’m thinking whoever wrote on that map must have just confused the student site for a watch facility. There’s no way there’s a station out there.”  _ Ryan chimed in, still adamantly against the map.

Ray shrugged, “If there isn’t anything there, whatever, at least I can cross out the area on my list of locations Douche-dini could be hiding.”

As he made his way over the rocks he noticed an old faded path up a hill, just a little past the entrance to Thunder Canyon. Not far into his trek upwards and he spotted a glimpse of the fence he was looking for. It really wasn’t very hidden at all, which made him wonder how he missed it all this time.

As he got up to it though, he saw that it was locked with a padlock. He groaned, wondering if he could just jump over it for a minute but seeing hold old and rusted the fence looked, he decided that was was not the best idea.

“Hey Ryan, do you know where they keep the key for this gate?”

_ “Key? I didn’t even know it was locked on that side. I figured it just had the one entrance towards the supply drop.”  _

“Oh, well, I was following the map with all the notes on it. They kinda marked out each end,” Ray explained, taking the old map out again. They’d drawn out criss cross patterns where Ray was standing and again on the other side, “I guess they really mapped it out.”

_ “Well, there’s definitely no key out there. If it would be anywhere, it’d be at the ranger station or in the hands of whoever handles all of that at the school,”  _ Ryan told him,  _ “Is it a tall fence?” _

Ray made a face, “No, not super tall, but it’s really old and I don’t think tetanus is my friend today.”

_ “RIght, don’t climb it then.”  _ Ryan agreed, overlooking his sarcasm,  _ “Well, try going around the other side, maybe there’s another way in.” _

“Okay…” Ray agreed, leaving the locked entrance behind. 

He plotted out his next course of action, needing to find his way up towards the supply drop. He decided to go up the main path that looped around Thunder Canyon and directly up towards Mule Point. It had been awhile since he went that way but he was honestly a little surprised by how easy it was to navigate through.

After a while, he came around towards the clearing where the other side of the gate was very clearly visible. He checked it, pulling on the entrance, but the padlock on this one wouldn’t budge either. He huffed, there had to but some way around the whole thing. He paced as he thought, getting angles on the fence when he notice a little gap, the ends of the fence being bent upwards just enough for a person to crawl under with a small area worn out in the ground beneath, exposing the dirt. That was it.

“There’s a gap in the hence here,” Ray told Ryan as he made his way to it and got down on all fours, “I’m going to have to crawl under it.”

_ “...Alright, just be careful.” _

Ray made his way under, no problem. He was lucky he was small enough to do something like that. Once he wiggled through, he collected himself for a minute. The area felt strangely different and everything had gone quiet for him. It made him nervous and a little anxious. The same feeling any kid gets when they know they shouldn’t be somewhere. He wasn’t supposed to be there, but at the same time, he had to be there. 

He got to his feet and started to move further into the area, hands gripping the arms of his backpack as he tried to keep himself calm. Inside, the area was pretty barren. There were few trees and what trees were there were very young looking. It reminded him a lot of Mule Point, only fresher somehow. The place had seen fire before and it didn’t seem to have healed very well. Ray couldn’t say why, he didn’t know what it had been like before or what exactly slowed down a forest's recovery period. He could just feel it wasn’t supposed to be like that.

It took Ray awhile to make his way through into what must have been Wapiti Meadow. The open trail opened even wider for him, and soon it was a nice clearing where a small set up remained. Ray looked at it, confused, there was a long tent but it wasn’t quite a tent, it was more like a trailer, and then there were some weird machines around the area and a strange grid lined up in the dirt.

                                             

He figured the grid was what Ryan had meant before when he said the students take soil samples to study. But the machines he couldn’t decipher for the life of him.

“Well… I think I found where the students go.” Ray noted out loud.

_ “Yeah?” _

“Bunch of weird stuff out here I don’t understand. Like what’s this metal pole thingy for?”

_ “I couldn’t tell you.” _

Taking a look inside the encampment, he noticed a number of cots inside along with a desk and some cases of equipment. There was no one inside luckily, but it didn’t look unused. There were papers inside and one of the cots looked recently used.

His heart sank when he realized that someone was living in there, and he could imagine who it had to be. Regardless, he stepped foot inside, taking a closer look. He kept his voice low as he moved in, “Ryan, I think someone’s been living in this thing.”

_ “Well, the students do camp out there-” _

“No, Ryan, like there’s stuff laid out here. And one of the beds has sheets on it like someone’s been sleeping in here,” Ray swallowed nervously, spotting a backpack laid out on the floor. Next to it were food wrappers and water bottles, “Crap… Ryan, this  _ is _ where they’ve been.”

_ “Okay… well, don’t panic. They aren’t there, right?”  _ Ryan asked, trying to remain level headed but it was clear that the tension was getting to him as well.

“No… they aren’t…”

_ “Alright, then you’re fine right now. So, you know where they’ve been hiding. You came and did what you were supposed to do. You can get out of there now.”  _ Ryan told him.

As comforting as that thought was Ray was left knowing that he couldn’t just do that. He had to leave there with something. Something to confirm what this person was after.

Forgoing Ryan’s suggestion, he crouched down, opening the backpack on the ground. He half expected to find something horrible and disgusting like in a resident evil game. Instead, he found clothes. Ray pulled them out, confused. They were men’s clothes, a plaid shirt and jeans, bigger than his own size. That he didn’t think much of, but when he looked further he felt sick. Underneath them were a pair of women’s underwear and a bra. Normally, not really a big deal, except he recognized the lingerie. It was the same pair from those teenagers who went skinny dipping, identifiable by the frills on the panties and the bra was definitely the one in the tree.

“Jesus christ…” Ray let out, underneath that was a torn up shirt, a girls shirt. Ray could only think it belonged to one of the girls as well. He remembered that day he and Michael found their tent all torn up, “Fuck this guy tore up the tent…”

_ “What tent?”  _ Ryan asked, confused.

“The-The girls, the ones that shot off those fireworks, this guy stole their clothes and wrecked their shit.”

_ “What?!” _

“He has their underwear in his bag, man!” 

_ “Uh… you sure it’s theirs?” _

Ray huffed, setting the stuff down, he couldn’t believe he had to explain this right now, “Ryan, I haven’t seen a lot of bras and panties in my life, yes, it’s theirs.”

_ “Alright, alright… jesus… that’s fucked up.”  _ Ryan commented.

Ray moved away from the backpack, he didn’t want to go through it anymore. This was just creepy. When he backed away, he noticed the table with the papers on it, only most of the papers were actually photographs. Ray’s upper lip sneered at the sight, he didn’t want to really see what was on that table, fearing for what might be there. This person was already freak of the year in his book, still, curiousity got the best of him, and he couldn’t help but look at some of them.

He wanted to throw up. Pictures of the girls were there, pictures of them naked in the lake, pictures of them in their tent, pictures of them drinking. It was sickening, all taken just out of their view. This pervert was seriously watching them at all times. Despite that, it was far from the worse thing Ray saw there. There were many  _ many _ more pictures of him. There were pictures of him down by the lake, bathing, pictures of him just walking around the area, his tower, him inside his tower, washing his clothes, checking all of the fires, and worse yet, pictures of him and Michael, memories he’d thought to have shared at the lake with just Michael had been captured by this sick bastard.

Ray felt his blood boil, he wanted to beat the shit out of this freak. His fist clenched, angry at what he saw, his teeth clamped together as he seethed,“I’m going to kill him.”

_ “Whoa, easy, what’s happening?” _

“He has pictures, Ryan!” Ray exclaimed, madder than ever, “He has pictures of me, pictures of those girls! He has pictures of me and Michael, WHAT THE FUCK!”

_ “What the hell… Alright… Alright! Calm down!” _

“Don’t tell me to calm down Ryan! This fuck’s been watching me since day one!”

_ “I KNOW!”  _ Ryan exclaimed loudly enough to be heard,  _ “I know, but right now you need to focus on your own safety. Get. Out. Of. There. We’ll tell the rangers.” _

“What about the photos?” Ray asked incredulously.

_ “Leave them, they’re evidence.”  _ Ryan told him.

Ray looked at the photographs skeptically. He quickly grabbed up all the ones he could see of him and Michael, pocketing them. Those weren’t meant for anyone but him and Michael and he wasn’t about to risk anyone else seeing them either.

“...Fine…” He finally submitted to Ryan’s advice, turning to leave, but not before noticing a familiar looking radio hidden under a number of photos in the back. He picked it up, the label on it reading ‘ Property of Washakie station, frequency 8 ’. He took that as well, a little payback just to quell his anger a little more before he took off out of the tent. 

He looked back briefly, wondering if he should do anything else, but honestly, he couldn’t think of anything  _ to _ do. With a grimace he kept on, going back the way he came until he found the gap in the fence. He crawled under quickly and made his way through Mule Point as fast as he could. By the time he was halfway through the path to Thunder Canyon the sun had started it’s evening descent. He couldn’t believe how long he’d been out and it worried him as he made his way back. The last thing he wanted to do was meet up with the monster who’s den he’d just rummaged through. Mule point never did make him feel very secure anyways.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he got to Thunder Canyon though, seeing his tower not far off. The rest of his trip back went well enough, climbing his way up to his clearing. He was glad to see his tower, as much of a prison as it could be it also felt like sanctuary at the moment. He climbed up the stairs and took pause as he got up the stairs, sitting down at the deck as he got there. He was far more tired than he anticipated, the rush of anxiety and adrenaline finally spent. 

“I can’t believe I did that…” Ray commented aloud, he felt so stupid.

_ “I can’t believe you did that either.”  _ Ryan also commented,  _ “I can’t believe the crap you found either…” _

Ray shook his head, “I wish I hadn’t…”

_ “At least we have something to go on. I already let Geoff know, he’s giving the station a call. They’ll likely get involved just from hearing it’s going on at the school’s on site location. They don’t want any legal trouble.” _

“Fucking bullshit,” Ray spat, “They’ll come out for the school but not their employee… fuck…”

_ “No one said it was the perfect job.”  _ Ryan tried to make light of the situation but it didn’t make it any better.

Ray put his hand on his forehead for some sort of support. He didn’t feel good at all, the sickening feeling hadn’t fully gone away and his stress levels were still high, “What happens now?”

                                    

_ “Hopefully the rangers will be out here within a day. They should be able to force the guy out anyways. It helps just knowing there’s someone out here and where they are, specifically. To camp out this way you need a permit, so, chances are, they’re already breaking that rule. But being in the school’s setup… that’s going to turn some heads. I guess, we just wait it out now.”  _ Ryan told him, answering his question as best as he could,  _ “Are you in your tower yet?” _

“Just outside of it, on the steps. Haven’t made it in yet.” Ray 

_ “Well, go ahead and get in. I hate knowing you’re outside right now. This whole day has just got me on edge.”  _ Ryan told him to which Ray nodded in return. That sounded pretty good at the moment.

With a grunt he got up and made his way back in his tower. He sighed from exhaustion and was careful with his step when he remembered Gunther was probably still out and about. He looked over the floor carefully, the food he’d left was still there but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen on the floor. It took him a minute before Ray finally found him on his desk, contently basking in the sun rays.

Ray raised an eyebrow at the sight, he was happy to see his turtle was still willing to stay alongside him but still, “How the hell did you get up there?”

Ray hummed a laugh, amused at the little guy. He rubbed Gunther’s shell very lightly as he sat at his desk. Ray got the radios out of his backpack, setting his own on the charger to refill it’s battery. He leaned back in his chair, holding Michael’s radio above him as he scanned over it, at least Michael could have his radio back now. It made Ray smile, knowing he had gotten something from all of that mess. It almost made him feel victorious. Almost.

Something isn't sitting right with him at the moment. It wasn’t about what he’d done, not taking the photo’s or the radio, it wasn’t sneaking into that person’s hiding hole. Ray grimaced, it was the type of feeling he got when something was staring him right in the face but he just couldn’t piece it together. He sat back upright, looking over his desk. What was off?

Ray glanced at the radio in his hand again, the loose paper on his desk, his radio on the charger, but nothing really stood out at him. He shrugged, it was going to bother him all day until he figured it out, but he settled for it being just something small that was out of place.

* * *

 

For the first time in a while Ray was able to sleep pretty well. Even though he knew he should have been anxious and unnerved, he felt weirdly relaxed about the whole situation. Enough to sleep with ease for once. The night came along at a time that felt reasonable for once, like the day wasn’t so drawn out anymore and Ray found that he was absolutely exhausted by the end of the day. He fell asleep knowing that Geoff was letting the rangers know exactly what was happening and pleased that something was finally going to be done. 

When the sound of static filled Ray’s tower, finally rousing him from his sleep, it confused Ray. He looked over at his desk, groggy and vision blurred without his glasses. He just barely saw the flipping off a radio’s screen. He reached up at the window, pulling back one of the maps lining the panes to look outside. The lights were off in Ryan’s tower, meaning it was probably so late that Ryan decided to finally go to sleep. That meant that it either wasn’t Ryan trying to talk to him, or something just came up as Ryan was going to sleep. It wouldn’t be too surprising, he’d done it before every now and again. Ray figured if that was the case, maybe they’d heard back from the rangers by now.

With a groan, Ray swung his legs over the bed and grabbed the radio he could barely see flickering in the darkness, clicking the button while he cleared his throat, “I’m up, I’m up, what’s going on?”

_ “You think you’re smart.” _

The voice answered quickly, tone low enough it was hard for Ray to pick up on who he was talking to. That and the response through his sleep addled brain for a loop. It took him a minute to register the statement, “...Wait… what?”

_ “Did you really think it was going to be that easy? I don’t scare that quick little boy.”  _ The voice was vicious as it spat words at him, Ray suddenly picked up on the fact that he had no idea who this person was. The voice wasn’t recognisable, it was a man, but it wasn’t anyone he’d talked to in months. Ray’s hearts started to quickly raced, adrenaline starting to pump through him, helping him process the situation.

“Who are you?” He didn’t know this person, but his gut already identified him, it was the stalker, the creep that’d been terrorising him all this time.

_ “You know me by now, not that smart now, huh? Bet you didn’t even notice it, did you?”  _ The voice was equal parts irritated and playful, a sick combination to Ray’s ears.

Ray really didn’t want to ask, “...Notice what?”

_ “Didn’t see something was missing, did you? You got something of mine, I’ll give you your dues on that, didn’t think you’d ever figure it out. That was pretty damn bold of you to sneak into my camp. Funny sometimes though, how our minds can think alike. You got my radio but I got yours.”  _ The voice gave a low laugh, words creeping, crawling at Ray. There was a suggestive tone, impressed but also too excited about the events they were recounting.

Ray barely had time to be creeped out by it as he looked at the radio in his hands, it was Michael’s old radio, the one he’d stolen back earlier that day. He then looked at his charger where his new radio sat, only now remembering that very morning when he’d sat the old radio in the same place. That was what had felt off earlier, his old radio was missing, and this creep had gone into his tower and stolen it while he had been away. Ray felt his blood boil, scared and angry.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Ray shouted at him.

_ “Don’t be like that, now,”  _ The voice shushed him, it only unsettled Ray more to hear him trying to be comforting in the creepiest of ways,  _ “That’s not the right was to start first impressions.” _

Ray’s knitted his eyebrows, getting more pissed as he thought back to all the shit this guy had already done, “First impressions? Fuck you! You’re a fucking stalker and a goddamn pyromaniac! You knocked me out and stole our radios, I’m not your fucking toy you son of a bitch!”

The voice didn’t respond immediately to Ray’s insults and accusations, they made everything worse by returning with a low growling noise instead,  _ “... Fine, be that way, but we’re not over yet, you and I.” _

It was a promise, a threat, and it really got to Ray, he could tell it wasn’t made lightly. There were no empty words in that statement.

_ “Just do one thing first.” _

“I’m not doing shit for you, asshole!”

_ “Really, that so? Guess you little … “friend” Ryan’s just going to have to do all the work himself then. Shame he’s going to miss the show while he’s sleeping.” _

Ray’s heart thudded in his chest, tears pricked at the corners of his eyes in rage, “What the hell are you-”

_ “Look out your window Ray, take a good look at his tower.”  _ The voice mused at him.

Ray rushed to his bed, hopping on it and ripping down the map that covered his view of Ryan’s tower. He stared at the tower, scared of what would happen. He panted, scared to death about what would happen when suddenly a flare of light erupted from the right. Ray let out a yelp, first thinking Ryan’s tower had blown up, but it was fine. Far off to the right, a glow had started, a sizable fire. By the looks of it, it seemed like it was over where the school’s campsite was. The asshole set fire to the place.

                                               

Ray was speechless, he put his hand over his mouth, shocked, his voice came out weak and riddled with fear, “...What have you done…”

_ “I set the clock, little Ray,”  _ The voice practically sang at him before it grew dark and sinister,  _ “Tick tock. Haha… better get a move on, I don’t think any of your buddies are awake right now. Don’t want the whole forest to burn down on you watch.” _

“YOU BASTARD!” Ray shouted but it fell short. They’d already turned off their end. 

Ray let his arm fall, stunned at the exchanged he’d just been apart of. He felt sick again, but it was so much worse now. He only now felt the cold streaks of water that had streamed down his cheeks, hot and flushed from anger and fear. He looked at Ryan’s tower, so scared only a moment ago that it might be what would catch on fire. It took him a moment to snap himself out of his shock. He didn’t have time to blank right now. He tossed himself off his bed, grabbing his own radio and opening the signal. As long as he was still a firewatcher, he had a job to do.

“Wake up!” He shouted, “This is Ray Narvaez Jr. of Two Forks, calling to all signals that can hear me. We have a fire in Wapiti Meadow! I repeat, we have a fire in Wapiti Meadow! I need someone to get in contact with the ranger station immediately!”

He was surprised at how convincing he was at sounding like he was keeping himself together. It wasn’t true by any means, but it would have to do for now. He repeated his message again until finally he saw Ryan’s lights turn on and got some responses. They had a long rest of the night ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not be watching way too many let's plays of Resident Evil 7
> 
> SEMI-IMPORTANT INFORMATION!
> 
> I'm delaying the next chapter further than normal. Why? That's pretty unfair, you say? Yep. Sure is. But since the next two chapters are the end I figured delaying chapter 13 would be a lot better than being a dick and leaving you all on a cliffhanger for the last chapter. So, there are trade-offs. The wait's a bit longer but in exchange, I give you not one, but two chapters, both chapters will be longer than usual, there will be more pictures, and you won't have to wait for the ending, which has goodies. Lots of goodies. I thought those would be some pretty reasonable perks.


	13. Ashes to Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the two-part finale!
> 
> You have no idea how badly I wanted to get this finished and upload it on April Fools day. My greatest disappointment. But it's here! In case you missed the memo on the end of the last chapter I delayed these two chapters so you wouldn't have to wait a whole month for a finale. Cliffhangers suck ass. As a perk these chapters are longer and have more pictures! Enjoy lovelies :3

Time became tiring all over again. The night was sleepless, all of them were awake, Geoff was currently calling up the station with Ryan telling him all the details Ray had told him before they all got up and going. but things didn’t seem promising anymore. Ray couldn’t do anything but watch the fire grow in the distance while they all talked about what to do. Eventually after their panic had settled down, they got the whole story out of Ray about what happened.

_ “That bastard.”  _ Gavin commented bitterly, taking the words right out of Ray’s mouth.

_ “So now he has your radio,”  _ Michael added,  _ “Fucking wonderful! I want to kick this guy’s ass!” _

_ “You’re not kicking anyone’s ass.”  _ Jack told him flatly,  _ “No one is going anywhere near this asshole unless they’re police.” _

Ray sighed, exhausted and stressed, “Please tell me they’re going to come out here.”

_ “They better!”  _ Michael shouted, not directed towards any of them, just to shout really. He was frustrated and pissed off, more than he had been already with this creep.

_ “They will.”  _ Jack stated firmly,  _ “That’s two calls today they’ve gotten and he started up another fire, there’s no way they aren’t going to be combing these woods for his ass.” _

That was the only real relief at that moment. Ray rubbed at his eyes, they burned from wanting sleep but there was no way in hell he’d be getting any of that anytime soon. He huffed a breath heavily as they continued talking out the situation. He got up from his position on his bed where he’d been watching the flames in the distance and decided to pace slowly, dragging his feet along the floors. He was uncomfortable at the moment and very worried about the current situation.

“Hey… I’m going to talk to Ryan for a minute.”

_ “Alright Ray?”  _ Gavin asked him.

“Yeah… I just want to talk to him about something.”

_ “Go ahead Ray,”  _ Jack told him with an understanding tone,  _ “We’ll be here if you need us.” _

“Thanks…” Ray told him with a small smile. He closed the line and tuned the radio to Ryan’s frequency. He hesitated to talk, not knowing whether or not he and Geoff were done. He figured it wouldn’t really matter one way or another though, “Hey Ryan? You there?”

A few seconds passed before Ryan picked up, Geoff’s voice could be heard in the background through Ryan’s own radio, along with voices Ray didn’t recognize. Ryan’s voice was an attempt at being reassuring, it didn’t work but Ray could appreciate the unconvincing effort,  _ “Hey Sunshine,”  _ he said as if Ray was a toddler walking in on mommy and daddy talking,  _ “Holding up, alright?” _

Ray shifted uneasily, “I’ll be fine. Is everything… how’s the call going?”

_ “Hold on, just a second,”  _ Ryan said, shuffling noises followed before the voices became distant. The sound of a door shutting signalled to Ray that Ryan had left his tower,  _ “There, Geoff doesn’t really need me right now.” _

“He’s still talking to the rangers?”

_ “Yeah, they want all the information they can get. Geoff’s discussing what we’re going to have to do next.”  _ Ryan told him.

“So… am I in trouble?” Ray asked, genuinely concerned, he didn’t want to go down in history with the other failed firewatchers.

_ “No, no, you’re fine. This wasn’t your fault. The rangers know it’s that crazy asshole and the police have been notified as well. They’ll be coming after him.”  _ Ryan reassured him.

“I guess that’s good.” Ray noted.

_ “Yeah… not much good going around right now, but there are some silver lining here and there.”  _ Ryan offered, he trailed off for a moment, sucking in a deep breath. For some reason, he started to sound embarrassed which confused Ray,  _ “We, uh, we have some more news too.” _

“What is it?”

_ “Well, that fire he started is way too close to our towers and it’s only going to spread.” _

Ray felt his throat tighten, as if he didn’t have enough to worry about right now, “Are we going to die?”

_ “What?! No! No, no, no, no one’s dying,”  _ Ryan quickly corrected, he gave a slight laugh at the end in response to Ray’s train of thought,  _ “No, the fire’s just going to spread before a burn crew can get out in time. The area’s pretty barren, so it shouldn’t spread a whole lot, but it’s going to come in towards my section and it’s way too close to your tower. What I’m saying is that they’re pulling us out Ray.” _

Ray’s eyes went wide, “...Seriously?”

Ryan confirmed his question with a hum,  _ “It’s too dangerous right now Ray, especially with a dangerous pyromaniac on the loose out there.” _

“I’m not complaining,” He clarified, at this point, his bravery and boldness was shot. He just wanted out more than anything, “I’m just… surprised…”

_ “We didn’t have much left to go anyways. I had hoped to kind of prepare for this a bit better but… looks like we’ll be meeting sooner rather than later,”  _ Ryan told him shyly,  _ “They’ll be airlifting us out tomorrow, sometime later in the day after they free up a helicopter. Just enough time to get our things together.” _

Ray was still a little stunned at the news, “That’s pretty quick.”

_ “Well, this is pretty serious.”  _ Ryan noted.

“So… we just leave now? What do we do?” 

_ “We get ready to leave. Pack up your bag with everything you came out there with and tomorrow they’ll come around and pick us up.” _

“But…,” Ray stilled, not really sure why he was confused. It was straightforward as it was but somehow he just felt so confused about the situation, “We can’t do anything?  
Ryan huffed an awkward sigh, he was quieter for a minute, _“Not this time Ray. This is something we can’t handle.”_

Ray didn’t respond. He couldn’t really think of how to respond to that. It was just a really quick transition he hadn’t been expecting. He was used to this, the routine, the outdoors, despite the creep stalking him he’d really enjoyed his experience out in the woods. A huge part of him didn’t want this to end, so many good things happened, so many good memories, moments with real meaning. Life meant so much more out there than it did back in civilization. He remembered New York, a flicker in the back of his mind nowadays, he didn’t want to go back to that mess.

_ “You know, I’m glad we’re leaving,”  _ Ryan eventually mused to Ray. Ray snapped out of his thoughts, head rolling closer to his radio, now sat on his shoulder,  _ “I mean, this turned out to be the worst first time on the job for you, I’m sure, but… I can’t deny that I really want to see you in person.” _

Ryan awkward, hopeful voice made Ray smile, “Yeah… no more waiting till September, right?”

Ryan gave a small laugh,  _ “Ten days early in fact. Will be tomorrow anyways.” _

Ray felt his heart beat faster at the thought, he was suddenly very nervous as he came to terms with the fact that he’d actually get to see Ryan in person. Ray’s eyes drifted towards the little drawing he did of Ryan, still pinned to his window. He felt his face flush with his nerves, suddenly having a hard time breathing. The new fire in the distance conflicting his emotions as well. He turned for his door, coming out into the cooler night air. He felt better being outside, not even caring that he was probably being watched. What was the point in hiding anymore, really? He was about to leave. Ray walked around towards the north side of his tower, looking on towards Ryan’s own, eyes focused on the bright yellow panels of light illuminating the structure in the distance, “...I’m really going to see you tomorrow…”

_ “...Yeah…,”  _ Ryan confirmed,  _ “And actually… you’ll be coming out here. To my tower.” _

Ray found his face heating up even more, “Really?”

_ “Yep, you’ll have to come across the emergency lift out by the supply drop. Do you know what I’m talking about?”  _ Ryan asked but Ray was distracted, he caught on after a minute, remembering seeing the cables across the cliff out to the north.

“Uh… yeah, yeah, I know it.”

_ “It’s the red line at the very top of your map, in case you get confused. Should be easy to find it.” _

“Yeah, no, I remember. It’s just… I’m looking at your tower.”

_ “Oh yeah?”  _ Ryan laughed,  _ “I’m looking at yours. I can’t see you though.” _

Ray smiled, “I can’t see you either… I’ll be there… tomorrow?”

Ryan hummed along, amused as he caught on to Ray’s nervousness,  _ “That’s right.” _

“I’ll see you. In person. In your tower. Tomorrow?”

_ “Yes, sunshine, you’ll be over here for the pickup,”  _ Ryan confirmed again,  _ “I hope we can get you here before they arrive. Just to have a moment to see each other and… take a minute to… adjust.” _

“That’d be…,” Ray was dumbstruck, his mind just wouldn’t fire all cylinders, he felt silly not being able to think of a word that properly fit his emotions at that moment, “neat.”

Ray regretted his choice of words immediately. Ryan side went quiet for an awkward second before Ray heard it burst with loud, deep laughter. He felt embarrassed, face palming at himself, “Wait, no, no, NO! No! That’s not a good word for that-”

_ “No! I love it,”  _ Ryan continued to laugh,  _ “Usually I’m the one that flubs up my words. Oh god… I love it when you’re like this. You’re so sweet when you’re all flustered.” _

Ray laugh into his hand, “Shut up…”

_ “I could, but where’s the fun in that.” _

“You’re so lucky I can’t put my hand over your mouth.”

_ “I guess that’s going to change tomorrow then?” _

“I don’t know, Gavin said you have a pretty big mouth.” Ray joked.

_ “Yeah, well, he has a big nose. It balances out.”  _ Ryan countered, Ray snorted out his laughter,  _ “It’s good to hear you laughing again. Real laughter, not forced or anything.” _

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just in a good mood all of a sudden.” Ray ran a hand through his hair, “I know I shouldn’t be, I mean, the world’s burning around me right now but… I’m happy.”

_ “Good. Not the fires but, good, you’re happy. You’re finally not sad or scared or… running off through the woods on some kind of vendetta or revenge quest. I’m mostly relieved about that last one. Seriously, don’t do that again.” _

“Well, it didn’t exactly work.”

_ “Still, for the future. Promise me you won’t do it again. My “old man” heart can’t take it.”  _ Ryan loaded the guilt on thick.

Ray chuckled, “Don’t worry gramps, I’ll look after you.”

_ “Okay, I’m not  _ that  _ old. I was just saying that, why am I always pegged as the old one?” _

“Alright, not gramps. What do you want me to call you instead? Daddy?” Ray offered suggestively as a joke.

Ryan hummed for a minute, liking that idea a little too much,  _ “I could settle for that.” _

“NO!” Ray refused.

_ “You offered.” _

“I retract that offer.”

_ “Why? You’re not the first to call me that.” _

“Oh my god… Could you stop, please. I can’t deal right now man.”

Ryan just laughed at him,  _ “Alright, alright, let’s get talking with the others. We have to go over the game plan.” _

“If it gets you off the daddy subject, yes, I’m down.”

_ “We can talk about that more tomorrow, mamacita.” _

“God no, not that again. I thought that died a long time ago.”

_ “Nothing ever gets lived down with us.” _

* * *

 

D ay 67

* * *

 

Ray was too thrilled to really sleep, not as if there was much time to do so anyways. He spent the remainder of the dark sitting in his bed, back against the wall looking back and forth at both fires. It was hard, knowing that the new fire was growing. Over the several hours since the whole thing had kicked off the glow had grown steadily brighter. Ray just had to live with knowing that the entire area down in Wapiti Meadow was going to be swallowed by it. 

The other factor keeping him awake was settling, knowing that he would see Ryan. It was exciting, he couldn’t deny that, but he was so nervous. Really, what do you say to someone you’ve only known by voice? What was he supposed to do? He’d never experienced a meeting like that before and didn’t know if there was a right or wrong way to act. He also wasn’t sure how personal he should be. They were in an established relationship at this point, at the very least they’d gotten to the intimate level of dating, in the second base area. Or maybe they were more like a few dates with some extra frisky decisions. Either way, it was confusing. Usually couples at their stage would greet each other with a kiss or at the very least a hug but he and Ryan hadn’t touched a single time. No handshakes, no pats on the back, no gripping of the shoulders. Where they were physically was hard to gauge. He wasn’t sure if he should treat their meeting as if he was meeting anyone else for the first time with a handshake or a high five or something simple. The more he thought about it, the more awkward simple interactions sounded, but then again he so did romantic ones. He’d never greeted anyone for the first time by kissing or hugging them, unless they were related to him somehow. Just meeting any random person though? Especially meeting a guy? That was skipping like forty levels of guy intimacy.

It worried him enough to keep him wide awake anyways. When sunlight creeped up over the their side of the world, it cast the woods in a red glow, flaring from all the smoke that now hung about the air. As the sun rose, Ray managed to shut his eyes for a few minutes at a time, sheer exhaustion demanded him at least rest them before his mind woke him back up, reminding him he had work to do.

He got himself up with a strange amount of ease. He figured he’d be much more tired given how little sleep he managed to get in but no. He got up without any fuss, his limbs weren’t particularly stiff and he wasn’t particularly bleary eyed as he started to collect his things. It wasn’t hard to pack up what he brought out there with him. He took his clothes down from where they hung on his spare rope to dry and was sure to take the rope down as well. He also took down all the maps, rolling them up and putting them back on the rack he’d taken them from.

He opened his pack and put in his clothes, his sheets, his DS and the games he’d brought, and his water bottle. Before he zipped it up, him noticed all the extra items he’d picked up since he started his life out that way. The rope, the carabiners, the extra map, the spyglass, he supposed there wasn’t really a need for them now. Not that he could take the spyglass with him anyways.

He set the items down on his desk, figuring he wouldn’t need them anymore. Whoever had this post next would need them more than he would anyways. With that, Ray sat back down on his empty bed, looking around at his tower. He took his drawn picture of Ryan down from the window, looking it over. He had the few papers he’d deemed keep worthy folded up in a side pocket of his backpack, but this picture, he’d saved for last. Around his tower, there were many things he couldn’t possibly take with him or clean up. All the leftover food would have to be cleaned up by someone else, the leftover desk supplies had been there before him so he left it all there, cleaning it up as best as he could. The picture he had of Ryan he looked over. Seeing what he’d drawn, what he thought Ryan looked like, as far as his shitty art skills would allow him to present in detail anyways. He just wanted to look it over one last time before putting it away in his back pocket. He wouldn’t really need it after today, he concluded, but it had been with him through so much he didn’t want to leave it behind.

Ray then took a deep breath, he wasn’t sure when he’d get the call telling him to get to the emergency lift. But in the meantime, he had to do something more difficult than he was prepared for. Yesterday he’d let Gunther roam about just in case something went wrong. Now, the departure had to be serious. Looking into the box, Ray scratched at the little guy’s shell, getting his attention.

He smiled at the little turtle, scooping up the box and heading for the door. He made his way down the tower steps, being careful with the precious cargo he carried. When he got to the bottom, he sat down on the last few step, keeping the box in his lap.

                                                                         

Gunther looked up at him, watching him with indifference to the situation, he was always such a calm little creature, “It’s about time we said goodbye little buddy.” The turtle blinked at him.

“Well don’t get yourself all choked up, crybaby,” Ray joked but a part of him was really going to miss his little companion, “It’s better this way. I’m not a good owner. Face it, I’ve probably been feeding you the wrong things and mishandling you like a fool. We both know it’s me baby, not you.”

Ray takes a side of the box, ripping the wall down and placing the box on the ground, “Not going to lie. I love you, Gunther, and I kinda hope you have some understanding of that concept and feel the same towards me. Please remember me and keep me in your tiny turtle heart as you go through life, munching on leaves, getting laid by fine ass turtle babes, having tiny little Gunther's, working your way up to the top of the turtle mafia, taking over all of turtle kind. I believe in you. Some turtles won’t agree with your policies but I think you’ve got a solid agenda.”

The turtle continued to just stare at him, a look that Ray couldn’t possibly decipher on his face, but that answer would just have to do. Ray nodded to him, “Okay then… well… have a good life. Good luck. Try not to get eaten… go get ‘em tiger.”

Gunther didn’t make any move to leave but that was fine, he could live in the box if he wanted to as far as Ray was concerned. The conditions still applied, he couldn’t carry a turtle around with him and he really was awful with keeping a pet. He only was so good with Gunther because his needs were simple and there wasn’t much to do all day in these woods. As much personality as Gunther had, he didn’t really respond to him though. The relationship was pretty one sided. Though he supposed maybe one day he could try a different pet. Maybe a dog? He liked dogs. At least he could tell when a dog was listening to him.

With that, he left the turtle to his own devices at the bottom of his tower. He wished him all the luck in the world, but right now he had his own agenda and went back up to finish cleaning up what he could. There wasn’t much left,  just his two radios. Had both his new one and Michael’s old one, he supposed it would be better to take them with him and give them to the rangers to sort out the mix up. He did hope they could get his original back, that and catch the thief. Of all worries he had, that guy was stiff by far the worse one, and he hoped the guy was unaware of the evacuation that was happening later. The last thing he needed was for them to try and stop him from leaving.

* * *

 

The day passed fairly normal, surprisingly. For the most part, Ray was just left feeling a little sad at the empty tower. It reminded him of when he moved apartments as a kid, just sitting in the empty space, waiting to be told it was time to leave. Empty homes were so depressing. It occurred to him how much this place had been home for him, otherwise, he didn’t think he’d feel so sad to leave it behind.

The tower was silent, so silent. No more happy voices would fill this place for some time. It was just as abandoned as the day he’d arrived, just as devoid and lonely. Not even his own voice seemed to fill it anymore, he noticed now how much he’d talk to himself or just think to himself. Not anymore. All he wanted to think about were the times he’d hear several voices from his radio, the group talks, Ryan mumbling about something, Gavin being an idiot, Michael talking way louder than everyone else, Geoff’s stupid fucking laugh, Jack just humming along, their jokes, their arguments, their awful singing.

Ray laughed to himself, remembering when Geoff tried to sing that spanish song he’d found on the radio. Ray didn’t even remember what song it had been anymore, just remembered the many his mom would sing. He hardly ever understood the lyrics, but some things just stuck with him. A particularly sad song struck him memory and he found himself humming it aloud, just something to fill the void while he waited. He wished he remembered the song by heart but he could only remember certain sections, he thinks this is mostly because his mom only sung those same parts loud enough and got quiet when she couldn’t nail the right notes.

“...Un hilo invisible me lleva hacia ti... Prefiero... pensar que aún te acuerdas... de mí … que aún te acuerdas de mí. Hoy echo a volar… a volar palabras de papel... En el atardecer. Y un árbol se incendia en la noche Sin saber qué hacer. Sin sa...ber qué hacer.” Ray gave a laugh as he hummed the rest, he felt silly for even trying to sing out loud. He could hardly remember the right rhythm.

After a moment he jumped when a voice interrupted his faulty singing practice,  _ “Why’d you stop?” _

Ray’s humming jumped an unsightly octave from the scare, despite it just being Ryan, tired and groggy. Ray picked up his radio, noticing he hadn’t bothered to to turn it off last night, “You were listening to that?”

Ryan let out a sleepy yawn,  _ “I thought we told you about radio safety.” _

“Ray’s face was flushed, “I forgot…”

_ “I’m not complaining, it was something nice to wake up to. Didn’t know you liked to sing.” _

“I don’t...it just came to mind and...I don’t know, I was bored.” Ray mumbled, embarrassed. He knew he couldn’t sing and like a decent human being, he generally made sure to not subject others to hearing his horrible voice, “Sorry you had to hear that.”

Ryan chuckled,  _ “What are you talking about, I liked it.” _

“Nice try, but I can’t sing to save my life.”

Ryan gave his signature, “Meh. I would agree, singing is not a good way to get out of a life or death scenario, but I still thought it sounded nice. What did it mean?”

Ray huffed at Ryan answer, amused but still not convinced he was being honest, “It’s a song my mom likes, I don’t really know what a lot of hit means. Something about invisible threads and paper words leading people together. I’m oversimplifying it but I don’t really know what it means.”

_ “So it’s a love song?”  _ Ryan asked.

Ray shrugged, like it was obvious, “It’s spanish, of course it’s a love song.”

Ryan chuckled at him,  _ “Well, you sing it well for someone who has no idea what they’re singing about. You’ll have to sing it for me in full sometime.” _

“Ha. Good luck with that ever happening.” Ray brushed him off, the thought of singing in front of anyone made him a nervous wreck. Ray rubbed at his arm, “...So… is it time?”

Ryan let out a sigh,  _ “Yeah, well, soon. They said about four o'clock, it’s about two thirty now. Tried to give you some time to get everything together.” _

“No, that’s good. I’ve been packed for a while.”

_ “Oh, okay. I thought you would have brought more out.” _

“No, just a backpack. I can’t really take all the food and things they provided me with.”

_ “I guess you’re good then,”  _ Ryan concluded,  _ “I don’t know why, I guess since you're from the big city I expected you to bring a bunch of things with you.” _

“Well, I could say I was being practical but that’s not even remotely true. I just can’t take care of myself for shit. I didn’t bring anything because I didn’t think about it.” Ray admitted with a laugh, “So, I need to go to the supply drop?”

_ “Sort of, a bit of a different direction. You’ll take a different path once you’re up that way but it should be easy to find. Remember going up to Beartooth Point?” _

Ray sighed at the memory of him pissing of Ryan and getting his ass stuck out there, “How could I forget.”

_ “Well, that’s the way you’re going to take today. Follow the wires again, you can’t take shortcut of yours anymore, it’s too close to the fire,”  _ Ryan explained, Ray was glad he did, he hadn’t even thought about that,  _ “I’m not exactly unhappy you have to take the long way around, you were really pressing your luck jumping that gap over and over again.” _

Ray laughed, “But dude, I’m a master of parkour.”

_ “Uh-huh,”  _ Ryan brushed him off sarcastically, with no confidence in that answer,  _ “I’ll believe that when I see it.” _

“Soon.”

_ “Hopefully.” _

Ray let out another sigh as he picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, “Better get going then.”

 

Finding the path was easy enough, he still remembered it even though he rarely took that way. Seeing the familiar trees and the bends in the path told him which way to go. He didn’t bother looking at his map. At this point, he knew the area so well that there was no need. 

Ray walked slowly through the woods, taking in the sights through the smoke for the final day of that summer. He knew he’d miss this, he’d miss the beautiful sights he couldn’t get back in New York City and the quiet that came with them. If it weren’t on fire, the place would be perfect, just like it was in the beginning of summer.

“I really am going to miss this place.” Ray told Ryan as he made his way through the path. It was hard to see too far ahead of him with how much the smoke had taken over, so he resorted to looking to the ground to find his way.

_ “It does grow on you, doesn’t it?” _

“Yeah, it feels like I’m leaving home and never coming back.”

_ “Mm-hmm, I feel like that sometimes too. Usually because I leave so much stuff here and so does the guy around for fall. We take it in turns so much this place looks like I’ve got my own apartment. But it’s not forever, you know, I mean… unless you’re tired of this. It’s understandable, this is not the best first run out you… that’s for damn sure. But the station’s always happy to find permanent placements and Two Forks really needs someone during the summers.” _

“If you’re trying to sell me on this you’re wasting your breath.”

Ray dismissed Ryan’s words. Ryan stalled his speech on that one, obviously feeling like he had pushed something too far.

“There’s no way I’m going to skip out on this every summer.” Ray clarified with a grin. Ryan chuckled at him, “We’re going to be together after this, right?”

_ “That’s the plan.” _

“Then why would I want to spend my summer’s completely alone, without any contact with any of you? That’s just a bunch of bullshit, I don’t want that.” Ray explained.

_ “Good point. I just thought with all that happened you wouldn’t want to do this again.” _

“But it was great out here, take away the fires and the creepy stalker and this place was great. Everything else that went wrong was my own damn fault. Except for that time with Michael, he fucked up his ankle on his own.” Ray pointed out, joking about the accident Michael had. 

_ “That he did, goddamn asshole had me worried.” _

“He’s fine though.”

_ “It doesn’t excuse him doing crazy shit like that out here. If he jumped off of something and split his head open... ,”  _ Ryan trailed off,  _ “What would we even do? We wouldn’t even know probably.” _

Ray grimaced at that, “Let’s just not go into details right now, you can drill him with a good Ryan-y lecture later about it.”

_ “Right, right. Where are you right about now?”  _ Ryan asked, changing them off the subject.

Ray looked around, seeing the path open up wide. He recognized the area well enough. Looking off to his right he caught sight of the first pole in the distance with it’s cable draping down across the top of the tree lines.

“Just reached the wires. Just a long walk now up to Beartooth.”

_ “You’re making great time. Excited?” _

“Very. Why wouldn’t I be. I’m going to miss this place, sure, but I do want to get out. I want to see you, all of you, I want to eat food that isn’t dried up or canned. I want those dates you keep promising me.”

There was silence on Ryan’s end.

“Ryan?”

_ “...Yeah?” _

“Thought I lost the signal.”

_ “No, I’m here… just…,”  _ Ryan trailed off for a good moment. Ray took the time to check his surrounding by looking up to see the wire overhead. As long as he had that, he knew where he was going. When Ryan spoke up again, his tone changed completely,  _ “They’re early.” _

Ray raised an eyebrow, “What?”

_ “It’s the helicopter. It’s come in.”  _ Ryan told him. At this Ray’s heart stopped, they  _ were  _ early. 

He spoke before he really thought things through, “Wait, don’t leave yet.”

_ “Ray, they’re just here. They’ve got to make their rounds. I’ll let them know you’re coming.” _

“Just wait for me to get there.” Ray pressed.

_ “It doesn’t really matter, they’ll get us-” _

“Ryan,” Ray interrupted him, voice serious, “Don’t leave without me.”

Ryan let out a sigh,  _ “I’ll talk with them, tell them you’re coming. I haven’t heard anything from the others in a while, they probably already picked them up. We’ll hold off if I can get them to, alright?” _

Ray calmed down a little, “Promise?”

Ryan sighed again but it was lighthearted,  _ “They will have to drag me from my tower. Ray, you’re not going to be left out here, they  _ will _ get you out of here, no matter what happens.” _

Ryan’s assurance eased Ray’s paranoia again and he calmed down at that, “Good…”

_ “I’m going to get off the radio for a bit and talk to them, are you going to be alright?”  _ Ryan asked.

“I think so, just don’t be too long? Okay? I don’t know how the lift works.” Ray told him.

_ “I won’t be long, I’ve just got to ask them a few things. Should be back by the time you get up that way if not before.”  _ Ryan told him.

“Okay.” Ray let it go.

_ “Talk to you soon, Sunshine.”  _ Ryan told him. The radio giving off a click as the signal shut off. 

Ray was now left with the silence of the forest around him and the uneven trail in front of him, clouded with smoke. Since he’d started out, the smoke had really started coming in from all sides. He winced at the thought of Wapiti, all burnt now and fire spreading out. The fire must have hit the treeline now and started burning away at what it could get. It would explain why the smoke was so thick he could choke on it. Ray certainly didn’t want to be out in this for long, he was already clearing his throat every now and again just in an attempt to breath a little better. 

It was quiet now while he walked without Ryan’s voice for company. So quiet that he found himself distracted the whole time, watching his feet as he walked. When he snapped out of it, he wasn’t really sure if he was going the right way and looked up to check. He was at a part of the trail where it opened up more, he could see a wider trail to his right that he didn’t remember before. Looking up, he saw the line more to his left and figured he’d passed over the trail in the past. He looked back towards the path to Beartooth, knowing he should be too far now from it. It brought a smile to his face as he thought about how soon he’d get to see Ryan, and how soon he’d be out of there.

It was in that moment of happiness that he felt his insides churn when he noticed the sound of footsteps behind him. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been there, when they’d started, but he only just managed to notice them because they stopped. 

The feeling of a presence behind him made him freeze. Ray became increasingly aware of every inch of his skin and how fast he was breathing. He looked back up at the wire overhead, pretending he was checking his direction again. Slowly, he looked a little further back as he craned his neck up towards the treeline. He focused on the pole and followed it down slowly towards the ground. He stared straight at it but his focus was on his peripheral vision. Just in the corner of his eye he saw the blurred, dark outline of a figure there.

                                                                              

He wanted to scream, so badly, but he could move now. Of all the times in the past he’d jumped or yelled at nothing, and now that a real threat was just behind him he was stuck. It took him a brief few seconds to realize that was a good thing and turned his attention back in front of him, staring at the ground as he internally panicked. He reached to his radio, “...Hey Ryan?” He silently berated himself for having such a shaky voice right now. He had to stay calm right now or anything could happen, “Ryan, actually I could use your help with directions.”

Ray waited a few seconds, “Ryan?”

Nothing. 

Ray’s nails dug into the hard casing of the radio. What was he supposed to do now. He looked at the path to his right, what was that way. As calmly as he could, he reached behind him and dug in his backpack for his map, checking his trail. It was easy to find, sticking out like a sore thumb. Hawk’s Rest, just a little patch of land cutting into the treeline. 

An idea came to mind, not a great idea, but it was an idea all the same. He was stuck at the moment, even as freaked out as he was, he could still rationalize to some extent. This creep did not want him leaving, if he took off for the lift he didn’t even know how to operate, he’d get caught. There was no doubt in his mind that would be the dumbest move he could make right now. But if he went the wrong way, pretended he got lost and started replotting his course, maybe he could buy himself some time until Ryan came back on the radio. He could also think up what to say to Ryan to let him know what was going on or maybe how to lose this guy.

Ray fake scratched his head, looking towards his right. He swallowed thickly, it was worth a shot anyways. Ray detoured off into the widened area as slowly as he could, hoping RYan would be back any minute. Now hyper aware of his surroundings, he heard the footsteps behind him resume, just as slow, just as quiet. If Ray weren’t keeping an ear out for them, they wouldn’t even be noticeable.

He felt chills run through him as he walked, but he kept his pace and tried to keep his walk normal. Ahead of him he saw a shed in the distance, burnt up and dilapidated. There was no telling how old it was, not that Ray particularly cared at the moment. Right now it terrified him. The appearance alone was creepy but what really bothered him was that there was a dilapidated house in the middle of the forest and he had someone tailing him. The last thing he wanted was to get cornered in there.

He needed Ryan to get back to him soon, he needed to tell him where he was so he could be found, get help, get away from this person. As it drew closer and closer, he panicked, there wasn’t an easy way to turn around from this after all. The map had been misleading, the outdated page didn’t consider the trees and brush that encroached upon the area now. Thickets of bare bushes, sticks exposed, and jutting from the treeline told him that rushing through there was not the choice he wanted to make.

The click of his radio made him jump but he couldn’t be happier to hear it work. He stopped his walk and grabbed the radio from it’s pocket. He made sure really quickly that the line was open.

_ “Okay, so I talked to the pilot, the others have been taken out to the drop off already so we’re going to wait here for you.”  _ Ryan chimed in.

“Great.” Ray said stiffly, he had to think out his next move carefully, “Um… so, I think I took a wrong turn. Could you look on you map for a turn going towards Beartooth.”

Behind him he heard a shuffling noise. Ray’s heart pounded in his chest and he closed his eyes, not wanting to turn around.

_ “Wrong turn? How’d you do that?”  _ Ryan chuckled.

“I don’t know.” Ray lied tensely, ears focused at the slightest of noises coming from behind him.

_ “Alright, let me just take a look. I still don’t get how you took a wrong turn, you never did that before.”  _ Ryan commented. Usually Ray could find his little side jabs to be amusing or even charming, but right now he was getting agitated by Ryan pointing out things the person behind him really didn’t need to know,  _ “You must be around Hawk’s Rest. That’s easy to fix, just turn back and-” _

“I can’t.” Ray let out through his teeth.

_ “What do you mean? Can you not find the way back?” _

“No,” Ray whispered, then he became a little more urgent. He was struggling to keep calm when he really wanted to scream out, “I need your help.”

_ “Okay…,”  _ Ryan began to pick up that something wasn’t right _ , “Well, first, let’s just stay calm, you’re going to be-” _

“No Ryan, I’m not going to be fine,” Ray said very quickly, a noise from behind him blew his caution to the wind and he panicked, voice rising high and words coming fast, “I can’t stay calm because there’s someone behind me-”

A rush of footsteps from behind him and a heavy push sent him forward, the last thing he managed to get out as he fell to the ground was a loud yelp, while he toppled over. The radio flung from his hands and hit the ground. 

A heavy weight pressed against him, into his back, and shoving him further into the ground. His eyebrows pinched together, mouth open as he let out half yells, into the dirt. Ray struggled under the attack, mind blank and thinking only of escape. The feeling of someone else’s hand on him and the warm air on the back of his neck and in his hair drove him by fear alone.

“Bad. Idea.” A voice above him seethed, in a cold, dark rasp. Anger and aggression thick there, making it the kind of voice indeterminable, beastly, hardly able to be called a man’s.

The sound of Ryan’s voice in panic sounded of in slight sound clips a distance away while Ray continued to try and thrash about. They were stronger than him, stronger and practiced. But Ray kept moving, with every bit of strength he had. He managed to push himself just enough to make the weight pressed on top of him falter. It was all he needed to roll out from under and onto his back. An arm chased him but could not keep a grip on any part of him while he dashed to his knees, then to his feet, though the hand reaching for him tried to pull him back by the hem of his clothes.

Ray lost a step in his ascent when the hand pulled hard on the back of his shorts. His hands flattened on the ground, keeping him from falling all the way down. In reflex, he grabbed the radio, ignoring the voice yelling in it, ignoring the static, ignoring all reason he took it and swung his arm around. Letting it loose behind him for it to hit it’s mark right into the shoulder of a man. Ray’s eyes were wide and full of fear as he caught his first site of his attacker. A man taller than Ray with black hair and a thin face. His eyes didn’t leave their sight of Ray, despite the blow he took, and the look he gave Ray was cold. Ray was stunned, shocked by what he saw. This brief hesitance was what allowed his attacker to lunge forward from the ground and surge towards him.

                                                                                 

Ray backed away quickly, unable to look away from the face that came at him so viciously. In their haste Ray’s back his solid wood. A rattling noise behind him and a shift in movement made the surface unsteady but it was still strong enough to keep him trapped. His attacker reached him in an instance, Ray’s hands went up blindly in defense only to be gripped tightly by hard hands. The force struck hard enough for the wood behind Ray to give way, bringing them both down in a cloud of dust, ash, and wood rot. The wind was knocked from Ray’s lungs, along with his fight, as his back made contact with the floor and the weight of a body struck his chest. He stared skywards, through the dust he saw not the sky but wooden roof and knew they’d fallen into the old house. 

Ray’s attacker kept hold of his hands with one of his own and his other went to Ray’s throat. Their face, streaked with dust, teeth flashing down at him, appeared in his own, far too close. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Their voice seethed, cold and far more aggressive than before, “You. Are. Mine. Little boy.”

                                                                        

Ray sucked in as much air as he could with the hand bearing down on him. His senses came too once more and he fought again. He lifted his elbows, mustered all his strength, and thrashed about as much as he could. A hand finally became free and he tried to push the man off of him, to no avail. He didn’t have the strength to lift him and the man on top of him only tightened his grip around his throat in response. He would choke Ray well before Ray could do anything back. So his hand fell to the floor and there he flailed, hand searching for something anything.His hand found a grip on a thin strip of wood and he brought it up hard into the side of his attacker. They let out a yell from the jab the blunt object had given him. His grip on Ray’s throat loosened and his weight shifted from atop of Ray’s body. Ray let the wood drop and turned over, away from the man. His eyes search the floor, though his eyes could barely see through the darkness. He moved, crawled away from them through the dust. Boards of wood, long since fallen to the floor lay haphazardly in front of him.

Ray managed to crawl away just enough to grab the loose piece of wood only to be  struck hard in the ankle. Ray let out a shout in pain, receiving another blow to the ankle again. His reactions kicked in and he swung the wood in his hands back wildly, feeling it collide with his attacker. Ray didn’t hesitate to swing it again, this time as hard as he could. The wood in his hand broke but he turned back to see they were stunned. Ray paused only for a second before he let out another yell in frustration and turned on him. He surged forward, gripping him by his hair, they tried to fight him off but were too disabled at the moment to be effective, and Ray threw his fist into their face. Blood immediately splurted from their nose but Ray let out another punch, and then another until finally they stopped fighting, arms going limp.

Ray panted, mind blank in panic. For a second he’d thought he killed them but their subtle breathing told him otherwise. Ray looked at his hands, his fist covered in blood while the other one held the stranger by their hair. He let their head fall onto the hard, warped wood beneath them and Ray panicked to his feet. His ankle protested, nearly bringing him back down again. He briefly looked down at the sore spot, the color there reddened by impact. He wasn’t cut or anything and they hadn’t had any weapons. Ray could only think that they had decided to punch him there as a last resort. It wasn’t exactly a wasted effort though as now Ray could hardly stand. 

He couldn’t stay where he was, that much was certain, he was not about to wait for them to wake up and attack him again. He fled from the house, seeing now two packs on the floor, one his own and the other he recognized from the tent. He reached down to snatch up his radio from it’s spot on the ground and stopped by the second pack as he grabbed his own. Ray opened it, seeing the clothes there that belonged to the girls again and a handful of photos, some of the girls and some of him, though none too personal. He ignored them, his goal was not for them. He tossed them aside till he saw the radio tucked to the side and grabbed it. 

Finally having both radios in his possession, Ray hobbled away from the scene as fast as he could, going back the way he came. He reached the main path again, struggling to keep himself going. Once he figured out what direction to head towards he was off, searching for the trail he came down. Luckily the area was open enough that it wasn’t a problem. Once he got back to a recognizable point and saw the wires again. He traversed the path on towards Beartooth, looking over his shoulder the whole way, glad to see noone following him this time. He was still very shaken up and wanted to get as much distance between him and his attacker as possible. Ray put his radio into the strap of his pack, and made sure it was turned on.

“Ryan, ah.. Fuck… Ryan? Ryan, are you there?” Ray panted out as he hobbled as fast as he could. The path started to move upwards which did him no favors for his ankle. The smoke was heavy now, blowing in from the east thickly. His proximity to the first fire made it all the worse, smoke choked his lungs, coating his throat, and making him cough and gasp. His eyes stung too, tearing up and making streaks on his face that cut through the dirt and ash that had made a film layer over him. He briefly noticed how messy he was by glancing at his ankle every now and again. He was covered in all kinds of grime, mostly from his encounter with the attacker. Dirt, ash, dust, wood, and a few specs of blood from the scuffle made him look like he’d just crawled out of a grave.

The radio was static but there wasn’t a response. The static went in and out, the connection seemed to be unstable, and Ray knew it was likely broken from hitting that man, but it made his heart beat faster all the same. He was scared, injured, and desperately wanted to get out of the woods now. He was trapped at the moment with two fires and an unconscious maniac who could wake up and easily catch up to him at any time.

“Ryan… if you’re there please answer… please…,” Nothing still, Ray looked upwards, briefly displaying the universal gesture for “Why? Why now? Why this? Why me?”, “I don’t know if you can hear me just… please don’t leave… please don’t leave without me. God… damn… I can’t… please, just wait for me. I’ll get there. I’ll be there.”

No response still. Ray’s eyes closed tightly, tears from smoke and a loss of hope swell and leaked through. He didn’t want to think that Ryan had just left him, not when he said he’d wait. It just wasn’t like Ryan to do that. Ray built up his own courage, remembering how Ryan was always there for him. He’d be there. He had to be.

Ray pressed on, the woods thinning out as he made his way up towards Beartooth. He made his pace as fast as he possibly could. It hurt, like hell, but he didn’t have a choice right now. He had to get out of there, had to get to Ryan. The more he struggled to move, the more worried he became. If he wasn’t there, would they just forget about him? Would they leave him behind? It was possible, right? What if Ryan decided to leave after all? It made sense, why would he just stick around when they were being evacuated? The radio was still on in the strap of his backpack and Ray began to speak, regardless of whether or not Ryan could hear him, “Don’t forget about me… please don’t forget about me… I don’t want to be here…” 

He hated how pathetic he sounded, it reminded him of his first days, how scared he’d been, how supportive Ryan had been in turn. Ryan was always the reassuring voice that kept him calm but now Ryan wasn’t responding. This time, he was alone, for the first time there was no one he could talk to to get him out of this mess. He was panicking, but he had a goal, right now it was the only thing keeping him going. One way or another, he’d make his way to Thorofare, out of the woods, and somewhere safe. He couldn’t be sure if meeting Ryan would be part of his ending any more, he hoped with as much faith as he had left in the moment that he would be. Strangely enough, as hopeless as he was steadily growing towards those circumstances, all he could think about were the good memories he had with Ryan. All their chats, their jokes, late nights talks in the dark, it was all that came to mind. 

Ray let out a choked laugh as he remembered their list of things they wanted to eat or do when they got to town, “You know… I wouldn’t be surprised if you decided to leave me here just so you could get your hands on some Diet Coke,” Ray trembled, his tone mused in the reminiscence, “Or some doughnuts… I guess I could understand that… ha…”

Ray managed to come out by beartooth point, not even realizing how time was passing as he hurried along. He knew he was going slow, too slow, but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind. He had to take the incline up towards the drop he made once before, back when he was in one piece. But now he stared down at the drop distance, not wanting to take the fall. If he had two good ankles it wouldn’t be a problem at all, but he didn’t. He only had one right now and he had no idea how unstable his other was. He had to make a decision though and managed to think through what he thought was the best solution. It wasn’t a huge drop, just a little bigger than his own height. He crouched down on all fours and positioned himself to roll off the edge. He went down, rolling off the ledge and coming down hard on his good side, shoulder, arm, and hips coming down hard onto the ground below.

Ray let out a yell, it hurt, it hurt like hell. He rolled over onto his back, laying there for just a second, holding his arm. There was broken skin and a little blood from tiny cuts, but he was completely fine. He sucked in breath through his teeth, it was just as bad as the many fails he’d experienced doing parkour back in New York. Just a bunch of small impacts, but nothing that would drag him down for long. It saved him from potentially having a broken ankle, and that, he was glad for. He sat up, collecting his breath, he’d be sore for a while but he could keep on moving. He slowly crawled back up onto his feet and continued hobbling on. Now both sides of him were not happy to keep moving.

At least he was close though, and he reminded himself of that as he made his way upwards towards the area with the supply drop. It was a tough hill, now that he was having a hard time standing, and Ray could feel every shift off elevation as he went, “Fuck… you know… I hope you weren’t kidding about that… the drive thing, yeah, the drive, in your truck. After this I don’t want to walk anywhere for like a month,” He told the radio at his side, “But that drive, it sounded really good. It sounded fun… let’s do that. Let’s just do that for like a week or something. Every day.”

Ray let out a huff of a laugh in his exhaustion, “I mean, it won’t be that first date right? The one on the tower decks. I know I was being sarcastic at the time, but I really liked that joke you made. “Going out”, I loved that, because I’m a fucking sap that fell in love with a fucking sap… that I don’t even know in person… How crazy is that? I don’t even know what you look like. I have no idea. You probably know what I look like a whole lot more though, Michael’s probably good at describing things like that. I never asked if he described me to you. I think he would have though.”

Ray found himself rambling a little and decided to stop himself on that train of thought, he didn’t even remember what topic he’d started with by the time he finished. Luckily he didn’t have the time to think about it for long as he finally caught sight of the emergency lift. He sped up his pace, nearly sprinting the remaining distance to the rickety looking device. It was a terrifying contraption up close. It looked like a soap box with rope through it. It wasn’t even a cable car like he thought it would be. It wasn’t powered by a generator. Just old fashioned, pull yourself along the rope over a giant drop. 

Immediately he didn’t want to get on the thing. It didn’t look safe at all. He eyeballed it warily, this was seriously the only way to thorofare? He looked over the gap, it was a much, much bigger gap than the fall he’d just taken. He couldn’t see all the way down, thick smoke covered the true depth, but he could just tell it was a drop he wouldn’t survive on his best day. He looked along the edge, through the smoke, it stung him now even more as he learned over the windy drop to see if there was any other way he could get across. It didn’t take him long to conclude he didn’t have any other choice. Although the smoke was thick, seeping from Wapiti now and so much closer than the other fire, how would another exit help him at this point? He could barely make it up as far as he was and he certainly wouldn’t be able to make it some undetermined distance in a different direction.

Sucking in a tense breath, he grabbed onto the lift’s handrails for dear life and slowly edged his way onto it. It rattled and shook a little, making him uneasy. He had to bring himself down on his knees to feel some semblance of stability. It relieved some of the pain anyways, enough for him to raise himself up and grab the rope. The whole thing lurched a bit as he did, moving forward from the strength he applied. He quickly propped himself up against the back of the lift and took deep breaths that burned of smoke as the filled his lungs. Closing his eyes so he wouldn’t look down at the terrifying sight below. Hand over hand he he pulled the the rope, the old pulley system coming to life as the lift jolted again and started to slowly make it’s way over the gap.

Ray just went on autopilot, letting his hands do the work, one after the other, after the other, not daring to take a peek at how far he’d made it. He just kept telling himself not to open his eyes, just let the whole thing move until it stopped. It felt like hours passed as he kept moving. The smoke kept filling his lungs, making him cough again and again. His throat felt torn and sore from the coughing and his lungs were heavy. His mouth tasted bitter and dry, and tears fell from his tightly closed eyes from the pressure, making more streaks down his face. Despite all of this, he was glad that most of the rest of his body decided to go fairly numb. It was like he had been given some kind of anesthesia, his legs stopped protesting as long as they were left at rest. It was enough to help him get through the ordeal at any rate.

When the lift lurched to a jarring halt, Ray openly yelped thinking that was it for him, that he was going to fall to his death. When he opened his eyes though, he saw that he’d just come to the literal end of the line. He shifted in the rickety old box until he crawled out of it onto the safety of the ground below and crawled far away from the edge. 

He spent a good long moment on the ground, knees aching and arms shaking as the supported him. His eyes readjusted as best as they could, it was hard to tell if his vision was blurry or if the wind had just blown smoke all the way out to this side of the gap. Getting up was difficult, his leg had just gotten comfortable with the break he’d given it during all that time. Now it was just about ten times worse as he stood on it again. This time, he let out a very audible sound to show his discomfort, he yelled out in pain, grabbing hold of the nearest tree as he toned it back down, letting it through his gritted teeth. He didn’t give it time to adjust, he was here now, he had to move. Had to get to Ryan’s tower. Had to get out of these damned woods. 

He got a move on, following the trail that sprawled from the lift station. He supposed he was lucky this wasn’t a very heavily forested area by the look of it. Otherwise, the trail probably wouldn’t be there at all. Grass hadn’t taken over the area, not by means of foot traffic but but the fact that grass couldn’t seem to grow out quite far enough. The area was rocky and dusty, few trees littered about the forest floor, what grew in the area was came in groups few and far between. They were thin too and not very tall either, as if the trees were starved. Rocks decided to fill in the blank spaces, shale and gravel lined the ground, making the trek far worse for Ray at the moment.

He continued to move, thinking that if he were to stop again, he might not be able to get himself going another time. He wasn’t even sure how far he had to go or where exactly. All he could use as a reference was what he saw and what he knew from his own map. With that in mind, he followed the path as it veered to the left. Hoping to align himself with where his tower would be. There was no real way for him to tell how far to his left he should go as he couldn’t see his tower but he decided to follow the way the trail went, as long as it seemed to be going the general direction.

Ray was taken by surprise when he spotted a tower in the distance, just beyond the puffs of smoke that had started to covered the land like dry ice. Perched on a hill with jutting rocks he’d seen at a distance, was the tower he was looking for. The sight was enough to make his mind go blank and his heart pulse erratically for a second. His feet moved on his own, getting faster as he went straight towards the only beacon he had. His goal was finally in sight. It got closer and closer in his view until he suddenly stopped. His feet slipped on the rocky ground and he came down roughly on his side. 

Ray panted, out of breath and on the ground. The mad dash didn’t do him any good but bring him back down again. He looked up briefly, just long enough to note he’d made it past the tree line before he clambered up on his fee again. He took deep breathes as his entire body ached. He needed to rest but he was so close, if he could just make it a little further.

It was then that he noticed just how close Ryan’s tower was now. He opened his eyes to the sight of it, high up on a hill in the clearing he’d come through at. The corners of Ray’s lips twitched up, overjoyed at the sight at first, but they sunk just as fast. He didn’t see any helicopter, didn’t hear one either. He cleared his throat, thick and stuck together from his exhaustion. He had a bad feeling already but nothing was concrete yet.

The sight of the Ryan’s tower up close made his heart beat a little faster and his hands shake. He’d seen this same building at a distance for so long that it was strangely foreboding to see it up close and hovering over him. He climbed up the remainder of the hill, coming up the stairs of the tower. It was much less of a tower, more like Michael’s, a cabin on top of a sizable, rocky hillscape.

He shuffled up the wooden stairs, looking down at his feet as he went. His hand came up to meet the wood of the doorframe. He had to stop for a minute to brace himself for what he already expected to see. There were no sounds from inside, the only sounds around were from Ray’s fingernails digging into the wood and chipped paint and his heavy breathing. When he looked up into the window, he saw no one.

He’d already known before he saw it with his own eyes but it didn’t hurt any less. Ryan wasn’t there. His nails dug in deeper, feeling tiny sliver of wood catch against his nails. His head dropped down and he leaned heavily against the frame for support. He pried his hand from it and let it fall to his hair, elbow and forehead becoming his support. 

He looked up, eyes catching sight of something in his peripherals. Ray turned his head to see his tower now, far off into the distance. He let out a shaky breath as he pushed himself back up, he slowly limped over a few steps, leaning against the rail for every step. It was getting harder and harder for him to walk. He started to cough again as he came around, the smoke still had its reach even this far out and the wind blew it right into his face. 

Ray’s eyes scanned over the deck, thoughts of all the times Ryan had stood there flooded his mind. All the talks on their balconies. It was so strange now to see the same place he could only spot through a telescope. His ankle dipped for a minute and he came down hard on the railing, arms rigid to keep him standing. He grunted as he tried to stabilize himself and had to move away from it all. He stumbled back, coughing as the air burned inside his lungs. The smoke was too thick now, too hard to stay out in. His eyes teared up and shut tightly as he made his way back to the door and practically fell inside the cabin. He came in faster than intended, stopping only because of the firefinder in there. Ray gripped it tightly but inevitable ended up sinking down to the floor, using it to prop himself up.

He just couldn’t keep himself up anymore, his whole body was numb with parts throbbing in pain that just wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t breathe, he could barely see at the moment with his eyes desperately trying to clear the ash and the burning, and he felt like he was weighed down by pounds of dirt and grime that clung to his skin and clothes. He was tired, tired and hurt, and still very scared, and alone. Very alone. He brought up his fist and quickly brought it down against the wooden floor, letting out a yell as it hurt him to do so but he was upset. Sad and angry because he felt so betrayed and deserted. His throat closed up even more as he felt like crying, not like holding it in did anything, his eyes were already weeping from the smoke but he still kept himself from sobbing. 

He let out a breath he’d been holding, shuddering as he did. It helped him calm down, but only just a small amount. Enough for him to build up a little more resolve. Ray took in deeper breaths, calming himself further while his hand reached for his radio. He didn’t bother to check if it was still on, he didn’t really care. It was just some degree of comfort for him in all of this. He let out another heavy breath, looking around finally as he tried to think of something to say. He swallowed thickly, eyes heavy. He noted the bed, covered in different sheets than Ray had been given. His desk faced towards Ray’s tower and briefly he wondered whether it was always like that or if Ryan had moved it there at some point. Whatever the case was, a number of papers had been left there and as Ray looked around again, he noticed several were pinned up along the walls. It took him a moment to realize they were drawings and though he couldn’t quite make out most of them, one in particular stood out. Right above Ryan’s bed was a piece of paper with three big letters at the top. ‘Ray’.

He scooted over closer to the bed and managed to get on his knees to lift himself into the bed. It felt like such a relief for him to have that level of comfort around him. He let himself fall into the sheets, feeling more tired than ever. Above him, he could see the picture better now. It was Ryan’s drawing of him, or at least what he thought Ray looked like. With a circle for a face and black curly hair with a black beard. The rest of him was practically a stickman which Ray couldn’t really argue with. It made him laugh which came out more as a cough. His let his head fall now, into the pillow. The smell of someone else lingered there, a weird reassurance. He didn’t feel that mad anymore, he was still upset, but at the moment he just really wanted to curl up in Ryan’s bed and go to sleep.

Ray brought the radio up to his face as all of his limbs curled in close to his body. He went ahead and let his eyes close, gaining a little more relief as his eyes no longer felt like they were burning.

“You didn’t get my head right... you asshole,” He croaked out, voice low and faint. His breath grew a little deeper, he so desperately wanted to fall asleep now, “I want to be mad at you right now...I don’t know why I’m not...  I guess I just want to know why?”

He licked his lips, chapped and tasting like metal, he wasn’t sure if there was blood there from the fight earlier or if he’d just bitten into them at some point, “I guess… I want to think there’s a good reason. Were you dragged out of here? ...I can’t help but think you just left because … you could. You sounded like you cared anyways but… you’re not here at all so… what am I supposed to think about that?”

Ray felt the warm streak of a tear fall over the bridge of his nose and wiped it off into the covers, “I didn’t say anything over the radio earlier, I didn’t want to freak you out or anything but… I’m really hurt I...I did run into that guy and I… I got away,” Ray admitted with a shaky breath. He still sounded mostly calm, trying to act casual, but he was honestly really scared. Every minute that passed made him want to got to sleep more but he felt like letting that happen would end up being a horrible mistake, “...He really got my ankle though, I don’t think I can walk on it anymore so… whatever reason why you left… if you could just do one more thing. If you care about me like I think you do, just come back… come back please. If you can hear this, any of this, I made it. I made it out to your tower but I-I can’t go any further. I won’t make a hike out of here and that… that fucking asshole’s still out here and I- I don’t want to die out here. We were just about to leave…”

Ray suddenly started to cough again out of nowhere, the force seemed to shred his throat as he hacked his lungs to their breaking point. He let the radio fall out of his hand as he came down from the rattles in his chest. He calmed himself back down, he could feel himself drifting now, despite the pain, despite how wrong it felt to be losing consciousness, he found it so comforting to just let it take hold of him, “...I wanted to see you…”

                                                                   

* * *

 

The sounds of wind being whipped through the air permeated Ray’s unconsciousness, stirring him just barely. The world cut in and out, noises rising and falling from existence. All around him was blackness, all feeling was numb. The only thing left was sound, pulsing, clips of sounds registered with him before they left him again.

“-just check here first, he was coming this way.”

“The emergency lift came across, he might be down by there.”

“Check there if you want to, I’m checking my tower,” The voice grew louder, accompanied by a fast series of thuds against wood and a loud creak, “...Oh dear god, HE’S IN HERE! GET THE STRETCHER!”

The sound faded from him until he registered his body being shifted, moved.

“-Ray, Ray? Hey, wake up.”

They were so close to him now but he couldn’t budge, couldn’t move, couldn’t open his eyes. It was such a strange dream, he thought, adrift in the confusion. It was Ryan’s voice, shouting though, and so very clear. But it wasn’t a happy dream at all, just confusing and scary.

He felt hands come down on him, shaking him roughly. He didn’t like this, he barely felt the touch but it unnerved him all the same. He felt lost, unable to connect what was happening, what he heard, what he felt, only just absorbing the information and not actually translating it.

“Ray? Come on Sunshine, I’m here. I’m here for you,” A sudden weight fell upon Ray’s chest, it was so hard to breath, “...You scared the crap out of me… why won’t you wake up?”

A hand touched his face, his forehead, his hair, that he liked. That touch was far more relaxing, he felt things fade away again, “What happened to you out there? … Don’t worry, we’re going to get you out of here.” He faded out, the world going silent again. He felt like he was leaving somehow, and he wouldn’t be back for a while.

  
  
  
  



	14. Home

* * *

 

~

* * *

 

Ray’s eyes opened in a rush of panic. He sucked in a breath through his mouth, feeling as if he’d been suffocated. The air hurt his throat and lungs but that didn’t bother him nearly as much as the bright lights. His eyes squinted as a defense against the blinding white glow all around him. The sudden shock he’d experienced faded to confusion, though his heart continued to beat rapidly. He wasn’t sure what was happening, the last thing he remembered was sitting in Ryan’s tower, smoke in the air, and pain. All of which seemed to be gone until his body started to wake up more.

In an attempt to move, every part of him suddenly came back to life in the worst way possible. There wasn’t a limb or side that didn’t have something off about it, even inside him he felt awful. Breathing was painful and struggled as he finally registered the mask over his nose and mouth, his eyes hurt from more than just the light, and his chest hurt as he heaved. There was a strange feeling in his throat aside from the feeling of tearing, like something had very recently opened his airway up much wider.

Ray’s eyes eventually started to adjust as he squirmed in what he could tell to be a very stiff bed. He looked around, finding himself in a bright white room, white lights, white walls, white ceiling, white floor, and white bedsheets. It was enough to disturb him, despite his recognition that it wa sa hospital room. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, totally displace from from what he was used to. He sat up, body protesting at this, but this way he could see all that was around him. Equipment on either side of him looked ominous and beeped every now and again, looking down at his arm he saw an IV in his arm and a clamp on his finger connected to something. 

He scrunched his face up, batting at the mask there until it came off. He sucked in another breath, this one dramatically different. The air was warmer and thicker. He felt dizzy from the difference but for some reason he could breathe a little deeper now. He lay back, mouth open and breathing in as much as he could before his throat became irritated and he started to cough. His chest heaved forward roughly with every spasm until his body settled down again.  

Apparently he was being loud enough to attract attention as he heard the door open during his coughing fit. He opened a squinted eye to see who was there. A woman with short blonde hair peered in at him before coming into the room. 

“Easy there,” She told him, helping him sit in a better position and grabbing the mask he’d removed. She held it back over his face, “Just take deep breaths if you can. Try to keep your breaths steady.”

She mimicked a breathing pattern for him, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Ray started following it, beginning to settle himself now. Once he was no longer coughing and his breathing was stable she let the mask come down and looked him over.

“You’re going to have to take things slow. You’ve been unconscious for over twenty four hours.”

Ray’s eyes widened at the news. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask questions but she shushed him, “Save your breath for now, you need rest. You’re still recovering from smoke inhalation.”

Ray ignored her warning and tried to speak anyways. His voice didn’t even form, just gasping and rasping. He settled instead for just shaking his head at her.

“Don’t worry, it’s normal to lose your voice for a little while, you’re throat’s going to be sore, you’re going to have a difficult time breathing for a little longer, and getting dizzy is completely normal,” She explained, “You could also experience confusion, and no, I’m not just talking about what’s happening right now.”

Her sense of humor walked a fine line between comforting and annoying. Ray decided it was comforting though. At least she was answering some of his questions that he couldn’t speak.

“Would you like some water? Some food?” She asked him. At the mere suggestion his stomach growled and his throat felt sticky. He hadn’t even had a moment to register how much his body needed. He nodded quickly and she gave him a smile, “Alright, I’ll go find you something.”

She got up and headed out of the room, but not before Ray caught sight of her nametag, Gwen. She was nice to him, but he was honestly glad that she left. Once she was gone, his memory properly caught up with him. He remembered his last day in the woods and all the horrible experiences that came with it. He remembered getting attacked, his ankle getting hurt, he could still feel it throb as he moved. He remembered getting to Ryan’s tower, laying there, passing out. What happened after that though? Where was Ryan? Why wasn’t he there to meet him liked he’d promised. Ray felt the tears well up in his eyes, he’d been left behind. Ryan had left him.

Ray buried his face in his hands, chest now working over time as his breathing jittered again. He gasped in air, lurching over himself. He couldn’t believe it, smoke inhalation. He’d been left out there and was lucky they found him but Ryan. Ryan really left him out there. Flashes of being caught in the smoke. Of being chased and tackled by that lunatic. Blood on him, on his clothes. After all that, Ryan had already left him behind. He felt worthless, he’d thought Ryan had really cared. While he cried, Gwen came back in setting a tray down on the bedside table and placing a hand on his back.

                                                                   

“It’s alright, you’re okay.” She shushed him, “You’ve been though a lot. Being caught in that wildfire, can’t even imagine. But don’t you worry now, you’re out of there. We’ll see you’re taken care of.”

Ray choked out sobs. The feeling of someone’s hand on his back was foreign and the emotional jolt it gave him sent him overboard. He shuddered and curled in on himself even more. Sobs and coughs interchanged and he let it all out.

* * *

 

Ray sat in the hospital bed sipping on his fifth cup of water. It wa s dark outside, he wasn’t sure how late it was or when exactly he’d first woken up. It was late enough that the building was silent though. The food he’d been given was long since devoured ravenously with unanticipated hunger and he’d downed three cups of water in quick succession before he was too full to get anymore in him. 

Despite the nurse’s warnings that he should rest he couldn’t. It wasn’t that he didn’t try, he tried, several times. Everytime he tried closing his eyes enough to sleep he’d get flashes and memories of his experience in the woods, the fear he’d felt, the abandonment he was feeling. He didn’t want to think about it, he wanted to forget everything. Staying awake wasn’t much better though, it left him in silence and thought. That he didn’t like.

When he was done shedding tears he’d manage to start speaking again, hoarse and barely audible, but he could speak. He asked her for his medical forms so he could worry about filling them out and his backpack which she’d been gracious enough to allow him. 

The forms didn’t take long, apparently the ranger station had gone ahead and given them the medical information he needed, he just picked up what they couldn’t do. In his backpack, he picked through his things. His dirty clothes all wadded and wrinkled, his maps, he half expected his radio to be in there but it wasn’t. Someone had taken it, but he didn’t dwell on the thought, assuming it to have been a ranger that took it just to avoid thinking about the last person that took his radio. What he wanted though, was his cell phone, an object he’d been without all summer.

It still had charge, having not been turned on for months, and the first person he tried calling was his mom. She’d answered of course, frantic about him after having received a call that her son had been hospitalized from the forest fire. She spoke too fast for Ray to respond or keep up with. Eventually he just huffed a few laughs, happy to hear her voice go on and on about how worried she was for him. Right now, he would give anything to be there with her and just be her son for a minute, like when he hurt himself as a little boy. But for now he was stuck, in the one place he didn’t want to be anymore. In some hospital called West Park something or other in Cody, Wyoming, at least that’s what the gps in his phone told him. After staying awake for so long, talking with his mom, he just wanted to go home to New York. Now that there wasn’t anything left for him there.

* * *

 

~

* * *

 

“Alright, well, you seem to be recovering just fine Mr. Narvaez.” Dr. Harris had apparently been overseeing him for the past two day’s Ray had been admitted to West Park. Although Ray had been unconscious for most of that time, Dr. Harris had still been present for all of it and now was his chance to see him in person, “Thankfully your achilles tendon didn’t rupture but it did take a small tear. That should heal up just fine in a few weeks, the swelling’s already receded pretty much. Good thing you slept through most of that. I have to say, pretty impressive compared to how you first came to us.”

“-ow ba-ad was tha-?” Ray rasped, his voice was slowly but surely coming back to him. He’d started to practice on his own, mostly humming to try and get his throat used to things and his vocal cords active.

“Well, they airlifted you in, had a tube down your throat while the emt’s got air pumped to you.” Dr. Harris made a squeeze motion with his hand for emphasis, “Honestly, you’re looking just fine now but you were lucky not to retain any lasting damages and to have manage to keep your blood oxygenated. If the level of oxygen in your blood had dropped enough things would have been much worse. Could have ended up with damage to your nervous system or carbon monoxide poisoning.”

“But I do-on’t?”

“No, no, you’re recovering well. You just needed to clean air and rest, a bit more would do you some good. I heard you woke up last night and didn’t go back to sleep.”

Ray sheepishly nodded. Dr. Harris gave him a smile though, “It’s common after a traumatic experience like you went through to have trouble sleeping, but try to get some sleep. I understand you were one of the firewatchers out there, it’s been awhile since you’ve been around people and civilization. Give yourself some time to adjust. The more you assimilate yourself in with society, the better and easier it will be to get past these events.”

Ray nodded again, he knew that, but sleeping still freaked him out.

“That being said, I’d like to keep you under observation for another night. Just to make sure your recovery goes well. After tomorrow morning you can leave if you’d like to,” Harris told him, “I’d make the most of this time getting in as much rest as you can. Take things slow and easy and when you’re ready to leave be sure to go somewhere you can feel safe.”

Ray gave him a somewhat cynical look at that comment. Safe place? He didn’t even know where he was. He didn’t know Cody, Wyoming. He didn’t know anyone here or any place here. He nodded all the same, not wanting to give the man any attitude.

“Alright, we’ll check up on you tomorrow morning.” Dr. Harris included moving towards the door.

“Tha-ank you.” Ray rasped as the doctor left him to his own devices. He didn’t much care for his doctor and wondered how legitimate his advice was but then again, he at least knew he would be able to leave soon. That was a great relief to him at any rate. He wanted out of this town already and the first thing he planned to do was hitchhike a ride to the nearest airport, buy a ticket to New York, and live in the airport until his plane came.

He got up from his spot on the bed, ankle angry at him for the sudden weight put on it but it was better. It hurt less at any rate, although he had a lot harder time moving on it now than he had when he was out in the woods. Ray couldn’t figure out why things had shifted that way but he wasn’t exactly unhappy. With as many scrapes, cuts, and bruises that he had, he welcomed a little less pain in exchange for effort. Luckily the wall wasn’t far from his bed and he used one arm to support him as he went to the small bathroom of his room. He flipped on the light switch which he felt silly for not doing last night. He was just so used to getting up in the dark at night and turning on his tower lights was a blinding decision when you were used to pitch black.

Immediately his peripherals shocked him with movement right in front of him. For the first time in months he saw a genuine reflection of himself staring right back at him. The problem was he barely recognized himself. He hobbled over to the sink, grabbing at the sides to keep him up as he leaned up closer to the glass. 

His beard had grown longer than he was used too and his hair had grown longer than expected, coming down past his ears. Dirt and scratches littered his face and his eyes… they were different somehow, and not just by the bags under them. He touched a fingertip there, underneath it, but it wasn’t the skin there, as different as that was too, it was the look inside the eye that had changed. A knowing look, one of anticipation and experience somehow had taken root there that he had seen before.

His body was the next distraction he had, his skin was darker than before and not just from being dirty. He was tanner, a brief smirk flickered, he was actually a brown man now. His skin wasn’t burnt but the sun had clearly marked him making him distinguishably tinted.  A glimpse at his collarbone brought attention to his build. He looked stronger, not buff just, leaner somehow. There was muscle he hadn’t had before, finally toned on his skinny frame. And was he ever skinny, he’d lost weight definitely, though he couldn’t tell if it had just been replaced with muscle mass instead. 

Ray made faces at himself, smiling then grimacing. His cheeks had slimmed and his shoulders were broader, shifting a little differently with his expressions. He decided he looked… homeless but not homeless. Like one of those scruffy looking hipsters, just missing the flannel shirt and top knot. At least he could tell it was still him under all of it though. He’d fix his appearance whenever he could get out of there and find a barber. He’d settle for a razor and even do it himself except he had a feeling they wouldn’t let him anywhere near sharp objects. Not with the way he was crying last night, several nurses had already approached him with a skeptical look as if he might be suicidal, the last thing he wanted to do was further those suspicions.

Instead, Ray turned on the sink faucet and began to wash himself in the sink. There was no bathtub in the room sadly, but compared to a creek or a lake, he’d take this. There was fucking warm water without algae and fish pee he tried not to think about most of the time, so he was set.

He felt like he’d spent hours cleaning as much of himself as he could, running water and rubbing the bar of soap into his hair and skin until the bar was extremely small. By the time he was drying himself off he looked into the mirror and saw himself a little more like he remembered. A little tanner, a little fitter, a little wiser; but still Ray. He made it out with that still intact at any rate.

* * *

 

~

* * *

 

The next morning could not have arrived sooner. All night Ray had spent awake again, staring at the ceiling as he laid in bed, too afraid to close his eyes. He’d managed to fall asleep once and all he’d gotten was nightmares. He woke up late into the night and didn’t try it again, just waited for the doctor to come see him.

What he got was a nurse giving him some breakfast instead, which he ate, happy for the energy. When he asked about when his doctor would see him he got a few answers, one was that he had another appointment and another was that his appointment had been delayed. Not what Ray wanted to hear at the moment, but he settled for it. He instead ditched the weird backless gown for his own clothes and took some time to practice walking around the room a little, knowing he was advised against such actions. He needed to know if he could count on it though since he had a long walk ahead of him to the nearest bank. He couldn’t make it to the airport on his ankle but he could make it to an atm to buy a taxi.

That was his plan anyways, until he got a phone call a bit later from the ranger station requesting that he stay in town to answer some questions for the police. In all honesty, he should have expected that, but it hadn’t crossed his mind in the slightest until now. He agreed anyways, mostly because he had to, but also because they promised him free lodgings at a motel nearby while they handled everything. New York would just have to wait a little longer.

* * *

 

It was much later in the day when his doctor decided to see him. He mumbled some excuse that neither of them believed or cared about before going over another physical with him that took somewhere near another hour, checking his lungs, his pulse, his motor functions, the whole nine yards. He seemed to be doing just fine though, according to the positive notes the doctor made now and again.

“Alright, I’d say you’re recovering very well.”

Ray cleared his throat, trying to make his voice as clear as possible. It sounded a little better than the day before, but still very hoarse and raspy, “So, I ca-n leave?”

“Well yes, if you’d prefer to check out you’re free to do that whenever you like. I would still recommend to take some cautionary steps as you go. Try to stay off that ankle of yours and maybe stay at home for a few days.” He looked at Ray’s chart, then back to Ray, not really happy with what he saw, “You’re from New York.”

“Ya-,” Ray coughed and tried again, “Yes.”

“Do you have a residence around here?”

Ray shook his head, “No. The r-nger stati-n told me I have a room a- a -otel tho-.”

Doctor Harris nodded, “Good, I’d take a few days resting there if I were you. Keep yourself off that ankle as much as possible, you don’t want to make it worse.”

Ray nodded, he wasn’t about to tell him he planned to get out of this town as soon as possible, not wanting to prolong his lecture. The doctor was happy enough with this answer.

“Well then, you can check out at your leisure, you can also stay one more day if you’d like, it’s getting pretty late.”

Ray shook his head, he didn’t want to stay any longer than he had to. It was too...much for him. Too much social stimulus, too much perfection, too unnatural for him, “I’l- chec- out”

The doctor nodded, not bothering to argue with him, “I’ll let someone know then.”

He extended his hand and Ray just stared at it long enough for it to become awkward before he realized it was a handshake and extended his own hand, which was promptly squished under the man’s much firmer grip.

“I hope you feel better, Mr. Narvaez.” He said with a smile. 

Ray nodded back and gave a small smile, only noticing now how much he’d been averting his gaze. Too much social stimulus, he could wait to leave. The doctor then left him to gather his things and he did so in silence.

As much as he wanted to leave, he dreaded it at the same time. Heart pumping with anxiety. He couldn’t understand why it made him so nervous just to leave a building and get back to civilization. He never liked being around a lot of people, noise, buildings, but this town was small and shouldn’t be a problem. Still, he was actually scared. He didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to face that loneliness.

As he was lost in thought, the door opened and made him jump. The nurse jumped in turn, placing a hand over her heart. It was nurse Gwen, a familiar face, who looked at him apologetically, “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you.”

Ray gave a small half smile, “It-’s fine.”

She looked at his bed where he was packing up things he’d taken out of his backpack, “Oh, you’re leaving? Doctor gave you the clear.”

Ray nodded slowly, he wasn’t sure why she was there to be honest. Another check up or something? He would ask but he didn’t really want to talk if he could help it.

“Your visitor will be happy to know that then.”

Ray raised an eyebrow at here, “Wha- visitor? Who? I don’t kno- nyone here.”

Gwen gave him a confused look before checking a clipboard in her hands where a few notes had been scribbled down, “A Mr. Haywood, are you sure you don’t know him?”

Ray’s eyes widened and his mouth went slack, “Wh- He’s here?”

“So you do know him?” Gwen asked, trying to make sure.

“I- Yeah, I thou-t he left.” 

“Well, he’s waiting in the lobby just down the hall for you when you’re ready.” She assured him. Ray couldn’t think of what to say, just stared at her incredulously and nodded. She gave him a nod as well, confused by his actions but ducked out of the room, leaving him alone.

The second she was gone Ray pumped his fists in the air and jumped excitedly, regretting that immediately when he came back down and his ankle screamed at him. He couldn’t help it, that was the best new anyone could have given him. Ryan hadn’t left him afterall, that’s what that meant, right? He didn’t allow himself to think about what negative options there were, he didn’t want to, having had enough of that already. Ray’s heart was pounding and aching, he was going to see Ryan. He was going to  _ see _ Ryan. Ray stopped his frantic celebrating, Ryan was going to see him. 

His heart sunk, suddenly getting so very nervous. He rushed to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror, messing with his hair. He still looked like shit, not exactly his prime. He looked, well he looked like he’d just survived a fire, shocker. Ray cupped up some water and splashed his face with it, wiping off any remaining grime that might be there still, he really needed a decent shower. One day of cleaning in a sink didn’t undo the months of creek washing, but then again months of trailblazing hadn’t left room for him to care too much when he had to either.

It was different there. You could be dirty, it was fine, you were supposed to be. When it was just him and Michael they’d both been dirty and it was fine. Here, back in civilization, everyone looked so clean all of a sudden. The nurses, the doctors, the patients, all so much cleaner. Even after cleaning himself up so much he now felt he looked even worse than before. His hair had really started to curl up now that it was dry again and he looked so tired and defeated but he couldn’t really do anything more.

He took a deep breath and let it shudder out of him. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. The past two days he’d spent trying to forget everything that had happened and move past the thoughts of being left behind. , but now what? What about his relationship with the other watchers, what were they going to do? Was he still welcome? 

Ray had to remind himself that just a minute ago he’d thought Ryan had left him for good. There was no point to freak out about anything, not when he didn’t know what was going on. Right now, Ryan was there, he was waiting for him, and that’s what mattered.

He pushed away from the sink and grabbed his pack. He took a few minutes to just breathe deeply and work out the rest of his anxiety. This was good. He was about to meet the person he talked to nearly every day, nearly every hour even for months. The only thing different was that they wouldn’t be miles away from each other for once. It would be just like they were planning during evacuation. Ray timidly stepped out from the room. He could see people all around, it was almost surreal. He’d been in hospitals before but never before did he focus so much on how many people were in the building. It was hard to get over just the sheer amount of people surrounding him again. He blanched at the thought of going back to New York now, he got the feeling he’d have a panic attack.

He stepped past two swinging doors into the lobby shyly, there was a lot of people in the big room. Several families waiting for someone they cared about. Ray forgot he was actually in an emergency ward, these people were waiting on others much worse off than he was. Ray shifted over towards the counter, there were several pairs of eyes on him but he didn’t want to stare back at any of them. He couldn’t tell if Ryan was there, all he knew was Ryan was big and blonde...ish? That didn’t exactly help right now. He shot an awkward smile to the lady at the counter who smiled back sweetly, “How can I help you?”

Ray cleared his throat, “I-, uh, I wante- to check myself out a- and I wa-s told someone was he-re to pick me up or- see me?”

“What’s their name?”

“Ryan,” A deep voice came from behind him, making Ray’s heart drop. A hand came to rest on his shoulder, glinting in the harsh lighting was a band of metal loops around the wrist and Ray could swear his eyes were getting watery, “I’m here for him.”

Ray looked up slowly, there he was, smirk and all. He was more handsome than Ray had thought, the best description that came to mind was hot dad. Ray could see he’d just recently shaved, his blonde beard just a bit of scruff along his strong jaw. He had thin pink lips that made his smirk seem much more friendly. His blonde hair was tucked under a red baseball cap, a few loose strands were hanging in his face. Then there were his eyes, bright blue and taking in Ray’s face as much as he was taking in Ryan’s.

                          

Ray tried to speak, to say anything. His mouth hung slack though. Months of being coaxed into becoming a talking fool and all of a sudden his progress was pushed back even farther than when he started, “...Hi…” Ray wanted to slap himself. 

Ryan’s face broke out in a full on smile and that familiar deep laugh rang out deep from his throat. Ray felt like he could die right then and be happy. Something about hearing that smile in person, it just made him feel so warm and safe, he smiled back, really feeling okay for the first time since he’d woken up here, “Hey there, sunshine.”

Ray wanted to melt away, he wanted to do a lot of things actually but he was too nervous and emotional to do anything. Ryan seemed to catch onto this really fast as the older man patted his shoulder, “Here, go sit down, I’ll sign you out.”

Ray just slowly nodded and shifted aside. He went over to a corner in the room, hands gripping the straps of his pack like they’d fall away at any moment. His eyes never strayed from Ryan, he wanted to see everything. Every part of this man was more beautiful than he could have ever hoped for. Ray felt suddenly very self conscious, wondering what Ryan thought of him. Did Ryan think he looked good? He probably thought he looked like shit. When Ryan told the lady thanks and started walking his way, Ray wanted the wall to swallow him up. Ryan wasn’t that much taller but he seemed to be in that moment and he was big, but the concern on his face made him seem so loving.

Ryan’s hands came up to both of Ray’s shoulders, hesitating to settle there but when Ray relaxed into the touch Ryan gave a soft smile and start rubbing in little circles with his thumbs, “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

Ryan’s arm was slung around Ray the entire time they walked through the hospital and Ray leaned against him for support. His legs still hurt like crazy and he was appreciative of how Ryan just let him cling to his side. It was comforting to just hang there, practically hiding under his arm, he could shy away from people and all that he wasn’t ready to deal with right now. They got out into the parking lot and Ray let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. The outside felt so much better, so much more free.

“Feel better, sunshine?” Ryan’s voice was soft and soothing. Ray leaned his head into Ryan’s chest, tears started falling but he wasn’t really sad, he was relieved, content, happy. He felt complete but out of place. He nodded but Ryan didn’t seem to believe him, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”

Ray sniffed, he couldn’t stop the tears from coming, he couldn’t speak either he just shook his head. He barely registered Ryan moving them even faster off to a dusty old blue truck to the side of the parking lot. Ray could barely keep up, limping along. He opened the door and surprised Ray by picking him up and setting him in the seat, facing out.

Ray was a babbling mess, looking down at Ryan now from his seat, “Wh- I…”

Ryan just shushed him, “It’s going to be alright Ray, I’m here with you.”

Ray wiped at his eyes uselessly, knocking his glasses off which Ryan luckily caught, “I-I thought you left…”

“I told you I wouldn’t,” Ryan said with a small amused laugh, as if it were just so silly to suggest something like that, “I’m sorry I wasn’t in my tower when you got there. The fire was coming so close we thought you might have gotten cut off from the path. I just went with the evacuation crew to to look for you, I didn’t mean to make you think I just left you out there.”

“I didn’t know…” Ray sniffled feeling guilty for thinking Ryan had left him behind, “I thou-t that… I thought you an- the -thers, I thought you jus- lef- me here, in the hospital.”

Ryan’s eyes went wide, he cupped Ray’s cheek in his hand, “God no, no we weren’t going to leave you out here.”

Ray tried to laugh through his own sobs. He knew it was silly to think that, but he had. It was so hard to even imagine a closer relationship when they’d all been so distant.

Ryan wiped away his tears with his calloused hand, it was scratchy but Ray loved the touch all the same, “We love you, Ray, we weren’t going to just ditch you. Geoff and the others, they’ve been doing a lot of debriefing since we got out. I went first so I could come out here and pick you up, it’s… it’s been a little hectic right now, is all. Lot’s of questions, lot’s of concerns. They’re just trying to figure out what happened out there.”

Ray sniffed, “Wha- do they know?”

“They know some weirdo was up there setting fires, messing with our equipment, and scaring the hell out of us. We’re not in trouble, and they’re looking for the asshole, thank fucking christ. Give it a month and we’ll probably be a local legend.”

Ray let out a small laugh, “The lege-d of the six flaming fire w-tchers.”

Ryan laughed along with him, Ray was smiling, it was so hard to cry when Ryan was being so sweet, “Yeah, we left that part out. They don’t need to know what we got up to in our personal time.”

“Fuck no,” Ray laughed, “God I c-n just see my mom gettin- tha- letter in the mail. Your son got fired for takin- brokeback mount-in to a whole diff-rent level.”

Ryan laughed hard, he slapped Ray’s knees lightly and leaned forward so he could plant a kiss to Ray’s forehead, “That’s the Ray I know.” He whispered through little chuckles. Ray felt so warm from the contact, just one little kiss and he was so much more calm. Ray leaned forward too, and let Ryan wrap his arms around his smaller body. Ray’s hands went around Ryan’s neck, clinging to his huge shoulder blades, “Making your little jokes that I love,” Ryan rested his head on Ray’s shoulder and Ray did the same to his. He felt Ryan breathe deeply, sighing so pleasantly, “I’ve wanted to hold you for so long, sunshine.”

Ray let out a small whine, he felt Ryan’s hands stiffen against him then loosen so that his hands could roam Ray’s back, “...Me too…”

“It’s nice, just to know you’re here.” Ryan spoke softly, “Nice to hear what your voice really sounds like. Nice to see your face.”

“Am I everythin- you e-pected?” Ray joked.

“No,” Ryan dismissed, for a brief second Ray felt hurt till that joking laughter rung in his ear, “You’re so much more.”

Ray scoffed, “Fucking sap.”

“You love it.” Ryan teased.

“I do,” he relented, voice getting lower, “I didn’t know yo- were DILF materi-l.”

Ryan chuckled, he came up to look Ray in the face, “What?”

“DILF material, Ryan, you lo-k like a hot dad.” Ray’s grin got wider at the confusion on Ryan’s face.

“What’s a DILF?”

“I-’s a Dad I’d Like to Fu-k Ryan, seri-sly, get in on the slang alrea-y.” Ray explained raising his eyebrows suggestively and embarrassed for doing so. Not like he could properly flirt with a voice so torn up the inflection was lost in translation.

Ryan’s eyes grew wide, “Oh really?” Ryan raised an eyebrow suggestively back at him, his eyebrows twitched as he talked, ten times more expressive than his face, “I’m not a dad though.”

Ray leaned back, a little embarrassed at the words coming out of his mouth. They’d never flirted face to face before, “I’d st-ll fuck you.”

“Wow, bold, sunshine,” Ryan’s hands came down to rub Ray’s knees softly, “Let’s take things a little slow first. I haven’t even bought you dinner yet.”

Ray’s stomach growled at the suggestion, to which Ryan smiled and hummed a laugh in response, “Would you like me to buy you dinner?”

Ray sheepishly nodded, the thought of any food that wasn’t hospital food sounded good. Ryan seemed happy to oblige. Ray didn’t even have to say anything in response and was glad for it, Ryan just knew what he wanted, “Let’s get you away from this hospital.”

Ray nodded more vigorously and Ryan stood up patting him on the shoulder before coaxing Ray fully into the truck and shutting the door for him. Ray watched him closely as he moved around the car to the driver’s side, the door sticking a little before he pried it open and got in side. The movements stressed Ray out a little, he was a broad man, in a good way. A very good way. Broader than Ray had expected and the difference between them was hard not to notice, especially when Ray was really not used to people anymore.

Ryan started up the car and pointed at the seat belt, reminding Ray to strap in before they headed off. He drove slowly, and Ray was very grateful for that. He didn’t care for cars and the feeling was very odd to him at the moment, making him anxious as it was. His drifted towards Ryan though and he felt loads better the more he focused just on him. His heart pounded for a lot of reasons now, and one of them was definitely him.

* * *

 

It was unusual being in a moving vehicle after so long of hiking wherever they went. Ray found himself getting comfortable with it though, as long as it was just him and Ryan. They passed by fast food buildings, all making Ray as time went on though. hungry but Ryan wouldn’t just pull over for some junk food. Instead he had to drag him all the way out to the supermarket.

It was, in one word, overwhelming. There was so much food on the shelves. How he hadn’t freaked out about this before was beyond him. It wasn’t like he’d been starved out in Two Forks but what he had was what he had, the supply drops gave him his little supply and that was it. In here there were rows and rows of just food and people buying big baskets full. 

Ray hid himself in Ryan’s side again as the older man tried to coax him through the entryway more. Ray pulled at Ryan’s shirt like a child trying to get their parent’s attention. Ryan just looked at him amused though, planting a kiss to the top of Ray’s head, an unexpected gesture that both calmed him and had him freaking out at the same time..

“What’s up?”

“Can I… nevermind.” Ray dismissed it, it was a stupid thought. He tried to keep going but Ryan stopped still.

“No, not never mind, how many times have I told you to talk about things. I spent literal months telling you this.” Ryan reminded him making Ray blush.

“It’s just stup-d.”

“Just tell me.”

Ray huffed a sigh, he really did want to do it, but it seemed silly, “I was goin- to ask if… if I could hold yo-r hand, just for a littl- while. But tha-’s just dumb-”

“No it’s not,” Ryan laughed. His bigger, tougher skinned palm slid down Ray’s arms and threaded his fingers into Ray’s. The younger man’s breath hitched, the gesture was something so small but now it felt way too intimate. His face went red and Ryan pecked him a kiss on his glowing cheeks, only making it worse, “I had no idea you were this cute, Ray.”

“Shut up,” Ray mumbled rasp voice cracking as he was embarrassed and way too happy at the same time. His stomach growled and he grabbed at it defensively, “Buy me food alre-dy, I’m dyin-.”

Ryan brought Ray’s hand up and kissed it, Ray blushed. He still hadn’t kissed Ryan yet and Ryan was using every little excuse to kiss him. Every one of them made his stomach flip and he felt even more nervous at the thought of kissing him back. Even as they walked down the aisles and Ryan grabbed one or two things, he’d rub the back of Ray’s hand or when Ray was really staring at something he wanted Ryan would chuckle and lean down to kiss the top of his head. He was just so affectionate and Ray felt like he’d constructed a dam to block it all. Ryan’s gestures were so innocent too, he hadn’t tried going for a real kiss. He kissed his cheeks, his head, his hand, but never his lips. Thoughtful enough to recognize the distance Ray might need to all of this. Ray started to pick up on how much emotional energy Ryan must have right now, that it kept manifesting in little romantic, spur of the moment bursts.

Ray quietly held the groceries in his free arm. He didn’t want to let go of Ryan, he just wanted this, to follow him around forever, holding his hand and getting food. But sadly Ryan was the one paying and they had to separate to get checked out.

The lady at the registered looked him over, he must have looked really terrible by the way her tone went soft, “Honey, are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Ray didn’t speak up, he was still getting use to people again. It took a full on day for him to be able to respond to the nurses without and he still couldn’t without few minutes delay. Thankfully Ryan did the talking for him, and Ray shot him a quiet thank you with his eyes.

“We’re firewatchers up in Shoshone. We just got in, he’s a little shaken up.” 

The ladies eyes went wide and her mouth made a big oh is surprise, “Were you two in that fire that was on the news?”

“Yeah, we were the last out,” Ryan’s hand landed in Ray’s hair and ruffled it, “This guy just got out of the hospital, he got caught in the worst of it.”

“Good lord,” She shook her head, “Sweetie, you look like you been rode hard and put away wet, poor thing.”

Ray frowned, his eyebrows knitted in confusion. That sounded really dirty to him. Ryan just laughed, “It’s an expression Ray,” Ryan laughed as the lady took his card for the purchase, “He’s hasn’t really gotten the chance to get use to the language here, he’s from the east coast.”

The lady just gave a pleasant laugh. Ray decided he didn’t like just standing there, and 

limped over to the bags on his own, despite the protest in his ankle, and picked them up, he almost slung one over his shoulder just out of habit and realized quickly that grocery bags did not do that. Ryan made small talk while they waited for the transaction to go through and Ray stared out of one of the store windows. It was dark out, Ray didn’t know what time it was or when they left the hospital but it’d been dark out since they stepped out into that parking lot. It’d been awhile since he worried about what hour of the day it was, out there it was just morning, noon, afternoon, night. Hours didn’t matter, daylight mattered.

Ryan’s hand landed on his shoulder and his other grabbed one of the bags in Ray’s hands.

“You boys stay safe.” The lady called after them and Ray shot her a smile as Ryan guided him out of the store. 

They put the bags on the floorboard in Ray’s side and Ray brought his knees up in the seat. Ryan looked over him, eyeing him for hints on what was wrong, “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Ray shook his head, “I don- know. Everything’s jus- differen- now…”

“Ah,” Ryan nodded knowingly as they backed out, “I know that feeling. It’s not easy the first time you’re on watch, when you get back, everything runs on a whole different schedule. You’ll get used to it again after like a week or two.”

Ray let out a sigh, “I mi-s bein- there.”

Ryan hummed, “I miss it too sometimes, but there are great things about being back in town.”

“Like wha-? I hate people.” Ray reminded him.

“Well you don’t hate me, right?” Ryan asked with a smirk.

“No!” Ray shot him a look like he was crazy. How could he possibly hate Ryan.

“You don’t hate the others either, right? Geoff, Michael, Gavin, Jack?” 

“No, never.” 

“Those are the great things about being back,” Ryan gave him a wink, “We get to be together.”

Ray nodded, “Yeah…,” That’s right, he’d get to meet the others face to face. Even though he’d already met Michael once, but still, he’d be with them all. That had been the whole reason to wish for summer to end after all, they all wanted to be with each other, “I love you.”

They came to a stop at a red light. Ray was staring at the black asphalt happy that it was apparently late enough for not many cars to be out when Ryan’s hand grabbed his face. The grip was gentle, just enough to guide Ray’s face to Ryan’s. Their lips met, just a small kiss but it lasted for a good minute. Ray felt his insides heat up and his stomach flip, he let slip a tiny moan from both surprise and the mixed feelings of anxiety and pleasure. Ryan let him go, blue eyes locking with his, serious and… happy, “I love you too. So much.”

                                                     

Ray’s heart pounded and he felt like he was going to throw up, the good kind of throw up feeling but in all seriousness he actually felt like he might with all the emotions going through him at the moment. The bastard of a green light took Ryan’s attention back on the road and Ray wrapped his hands around his stomach again.

“Stup-d fuckin- green lig-t…” He mumbled.

“What?” Ryan asked amused, “What did the light do?”

“It ruined the god-amn moment.” Ray huffed, Ryan just laughed but Ray was very serious. Fuck that light.

* * *

 

Ray had no idea where anything was in this town but he was glad Ryan seemed to. It was really dark here. The streetlights didn’t do very much, in some areas they were very sparse. A small part of him wished they were off completely so that his eyes could just adjust to the light. Another part of him would prefer to just walk to wherever they were going but then he figured they’d never get anywhere.

They pulled into a small motel and Ray looked around confused, “Wha- are we doing?”

“This is where we’re staying.” Ryan told him, “It was kind of short notice but we worked it out with the rangers. They’re going to pay our fees.”

Ray’s stomach sank, did that mean he’d have to leave Ryan?

“Do I hav- a room?” Ray asked.

“I’m not sure, we weren’t sure when you’d be discharged. I think they were supposed to call about it.” Ryan told him, jogging his memory of earlier. Since Ryan had entered, he’d forgotten everything else about the day already. Ray wanted to speak up but instead he just nodded, “I was kind of hoping you’d split a room with me though.”

Ray’s head shot up, the look on his face too hopeful.

“They’re double beds, we kind of all got rooms to split. Michael and Gavin are sharing one, Geoff and Jack are. The station just thinks we’re being considerate, or that it’s for anxiety relief having someone nearby after the fire. But if you want your own room, we’ll get you set up-.”

“No,” Ray said definitively, maybe a bit too harshly with the way Ryan’s eyes widened but still, he did not want a room to himself, he’d had a room to himself all summer, “I want to stay wit- you. I don’t want t- be alone.”

Ryan’s face broke out into a grin and Ray could see the happiness swell in his eyes, “You won’t be alone,” Ryan assured him, “I wouldn’t leave you if you didn’t want me too.”

Ray shook his head, “You shoul-n’t say th-t, you’ll never get a minute alone again.”

Ryan patted Ray’s knee, “But I’ll have every minute with you.”

“Sap.”

“You love it.”

“I do.”

* * *

 

All three rooms were on the second floor according to Ryan, lined up because they’d all gotten them at the same time. Ray had to have help getting up the stairs, his ankle had already decided for him that he’d been on it for too long. Ryan shouldered him up, practically carrying him up to their floor. The others had already long gone to sleep apparently, according to the lack of light from the windows. It was strange, they were so close now and yet they still couldn’t meet. Ryan assured him that tomorrow they’d have plenty of time, they were just tired from having to answer questions for the past few days. Something Ray would be called in for soon enough, but the station was being lenient on him considering he’d been put in the hospital.

The room already looked lived in. Clothes piled on the one chair, papers on the little desk, one messy bed, a third of a case of beers with a half bottle of Jack Daniels. Impressive really, for just two days.

“Sorry about the mess,” Ryan rubbed the back of his neck, “I haven’t really been in here all that much I just kind of threw my stuff in here.”

“What -ave you been doing?” Ray asked, setting the groceries down on the desk. He was curious how they were actually going to make it until he saw a little hot plate hiding under some plates on the floor.

“Went for debriefing, mostly waited till you were discharged.”

Ray watched Ryan put away some things in the fridge, how long did he wait in that lobby, “You cou-d have visited, I didn’t re-lly get any sleep, just up all of yes-erday.”

“I tried, they didn’t want me to. Said you weren’t responding very well yet. They wanted to make sure you wouldn’t got into shock, so I let it be.” Ryan told him with a shrug.

“Ass-oles,” Ray muttered, “How long were you ther-?”

“I don’t even know, I was just worried.”

“I’m sorry.” Ray apologized rubbing his arm.

“Why? You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.”

“-’m sorry you -ad to wait,” Ray told him, “And I’m s-rry for thinkin- you left me.”

Ryan got up and went over to Ray wrapping him in a big hug. Ray felt so warm and safe in those arms, it melted his worries away, “Don’t feel sorry, just feel loved.”

Ray buried his face in Ryan’s chest. What he wouldn’t give to feel the skin beneath that shirt. He just listened to Ryan breath for a minute and Ryan let him, rubbing at Ray’s back. His stomach growling was the traitor this time. They both laughed, Ryan far louder.

“Go take a bath, I’ll make some food.”

Ray couldn’t exactly argue with that. He really needed a bath, it was surprising Ryan could hug him without thinking he was absolute shit, even the lady at the grocery store could see how fucked up he looked. Ray went into the small bathroom and ran the water. His mind wandered back to that weird expression she used. Rode hard and put away wet, that definitely sounded dirty. Probably had nothing to do with what he was thinking, and what he was thinking was definitely not pg. Something more like what happened between him and Michael that one night. 

Heat went straight down to his groin as he thought about that night. The way they moved and the way Ryan talked to them. How much he wanted Ryan to be there in person then. Now he was around in person… Ray blushed at his string of thoughts. He couldn’t help but wonder if they’d do anything while they were here. He hoped so but he was also really scared to try. He’d only been with Michael and that wasn’t really sex, just grinding. The receiving end of the real deal seemed like it would be a lot harder and Ryan was a pretty big guy.

It was very suddenly really hot in the bathroom. Ray peeled off his dirty clothes and tossed them on the floor, sinking into the hot water. His ankle already felt so much better. It felt amazing to have a decent bath for the first time in months. He let out a very audible moan, hearing Ryan snickering in the other room.

“-ey fuck you this -s amazing!” He called out, sinking all the way down till the water lapped at his chin, “Oh, fuck me this -s great!”

“Jesus Ray, should I get another room? Leave you and the bath alone for an hour?” Ryan called behind the door.

“Sorry Rya-, you snooze you lose, the bath sati-fies me in ways yo- could never compre-end.” Ray joked.

“Is that so?” Ryan scoffed to himself, “You haven’t even  _ been  _ satisfied by me.”

Ray felt heated at those words. Goddamn Ryan’s sexy voice, Ray thought. It was like being lulled into dirty thoughts. And dirty thoughts came in quick. Thoughts like being touched by Ryan and having that body against his, and now he was starting to get hard. 

Ray cursed to himself, he was not going to last very long if Ryan said things like that.

It took Ray a long time before he willingly parted with the bath. He felt so much better now that he was clean and his muscles could relax. He stepped out, saying a quiet fuck when he realized he just stepped on his shirt. Well, he wasn’t putting that back on but at least he had his bottoms. He tugged his shorts back on while going for the mirror, he looked a little better anyways, that beard needed to go though. He saw that Ryan and splurged on a new electric razor, it sat there by the edge of the sink.

“-ey Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I use your razor? I don- think I -ave one, pretty sure I forgot it.”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.” Ray found it amusing how much their conversations had varied tonight from none at all, to sad, to sappy, back to sad, and now they sounded like a married couple. He smiled, turning the razor on. It was time to clean up.

* * *

 

Ray left the bathroom feeling decent for the first time being out of the woods. The smell of something delicious immediately caught his attention and he made a B-line for the plate laid out for him. It was a simple meal, rice, red beans, some kind of sausage in it. Simple diner but it looked amazing and it was a hot meal. Ray had not exactly been very adventurous with cooking while in his tower. The only hot meals were soup and that didn’t come till much later in the game. He quickly shoved a huge mouthful in and hummed happily.He hadn’t even realized how hungry he was.

“Like it?” Ryan asked, Ray turned to see him sitting on his bed. The younger nodded slowly.

“This is amazin-, I’m so fucking -ungry.” Ray told him shoving more into his mouth. He wanted to eat as much as possible.

“I’m not surprised, look at how thin you are.” Ryan pointed to Ray’s thin stomach. Ray looked down, remembering he’d left his shirt in the bathroom. Oh well, it wasn’t the first or last time Ryan was going to see him topless, “Come here.” Ray eyed him, “Just come here.”

Ray did but the plate of food was staying with him. He sat down next to Ryan who just wrapped his arms back around Ray’s waist. Ray laughed and wiggled around when Ryan’s beard tickled his neck. It was odd, feeling another man’s facial hair there, nice just odd. Michael didn’t have much of any at all. Being held like this was almost surreal, no man before now actually held him. It was intimate, like Ryan’s body would swallow his up, it was secure.

Ryan’s hands ran over his stomach, it tickled and gave Ray that butterfly feeling. He was a little too nervous to eat now though, now that he was trying to fight back dirty thoughts again.

“-ey, Ryan?” Ryan hummed behind him, “Could you ma-be not give me a boner while I’m eating.”

“Oh… Sorry,” Ryan said sheepishly, he removed his hands leaned back, “Sorry, I’m… bad at this.”

“Bad at w-at?” Ray asked with a mouthful.

“I’m awkward at relationship stuff. I’m the worst out of all of us.” He admitted.

“No you’re n-t,” Ray shook his head, “I am.”

Before Ryan could protest Ray leaned back against him, trying to eat fast now so he could let Ryan run his hands all over, “You managed to seduce me throu- a fuckin- radio Ryan, that shit takes talent.”

Ryan huffed, “That was different, I’m talking about in person.”

“Still me,” Ray admitted, “I’m the one wh-o can’t even kiss you yet.”

“You’ve kissed me.”

“ _ You’ve  _ kissed me,” Ray corrected, “I just let it -appen like a god-amn idiot. Didn’t do -nything, I just sat there li-e a fish.”

“Well, you only just met me in person. I’ve been a little too excited I guess. I didn’t want to make you think you had to kiss me.” Ryan apologized.

Ray let out an irritated sigh, “I  _ wa-nt  _ to kiss you thou-… I’m just bein- weird. I’ve been weird ever since they told me yo- were there to pick me up, I’ve been looking in the mirror trying to look good I’m tryin- to eat this food faster so yo- can touch me without me feeling like I’m goin- to throw up.”

“Touching you makes you feel sick?”

“No!” Ray dismissed, Ryan sounded so hurt by that, “I mean-… It’s that feeling where your stomach start- doing flips and shit- You make me nervous, alright,” Ray tried to explain, getting frustrated the more he screwed it up. He just stopped, looking down at the food he no longer was tasting. A golden rule came to his mind that he’d used on more than one occasion over the past few months and he more than happily went for it. He put the plate down on the bedside table and turned on Ryan, “Fu-ck this.”

He wrapped his arms around Ryan’s neck and pulled himself up into Ryan’s lap so he could lean up and kiss him. Fuck food, fuck this awkward small talk, just… fuck me, he thought to himself as he kept pushing up against Ryan, eyes pinched shut. Ray fingers went up to Ryan’s head, grabbing his hat when they found it an obstacle in their path. He tossed it off so he could run his fingers through the hair there, smooth and soft.

Ryan was more than content to let it happen, hands went to Ray’s hip and his back, giving a very gentle squeeze where they landed and kissed him back. His touch was far lighter than Ray was expecting, not forceful in the least and he was happy to take all of Ray’s eagerness. Ryan was the one to really start moving their lips, deepening the kiss. Ray had only been able to go as far as initiating it and then just stopped, mind blank, unable to decide what to do next. He was glad that Ryan answered that for him, taking control of the situation by guiding him instead of taking this moment from him.

They broke apart when Ray realized he’d forgotten to breathe. Slowly, he opened his eyes to find that he was looking down on Ryan’s face. In getting closer to him, Ray had raised himself up until he could tower over him. Ryan stared back up at him with a happy smirk and heavy lidded eyes that looked almost sedated.

As Ray caught up to his spur of the moment action his hands started to shake, still entwined in Ryan’s blonde hair. He let go of his head, and his body shifted back down on the bed, “I…” He didn’t know what to really say about that. He wasn’t sorry for doing it, that was for sure.

Ryan chuckled at him, bringing himself closer again in response to Ray’s distance, his head craned down towards Ray’s neck, “That was amazing.” He sighed, voice full of satisfaction and hunger. His lips pressed against the skin of Ray’s neck, the touch was affectionate and light, making Ray lean his neck towards him as Ryan continued there. Ray’s hands went back up, to Ryan’s shoulders this time. It felt so good and he wanted more of this, more contact, more heat, more Ryan. He leaned back, bringing Ryan with him, far enough that his body just let itself fall to the bed. Ryan laughed against his skin, the scruff along his jaw tickled but Ray found himself letting out a moan instead of a laugh.

Ryan gave him another quick peck there before lifting himself off of Ray. The weight of his body immediately missed, and Ray looked up at him. The arms on either side of his head pointed his view directly up to Ryan’s face. The look in his eyes was full of appreciation while Ray felt his own expression was just dumbstruck in the moment. Ray’s arms, fallen to his sides, wanted to reach up and bring him back down but he didn’t. He had a feeling Ryan backed away for a reason, even though he looked to be craving the same.

The silence between them bothered Ray, wondering if he did something wrong. His eyes darted awkwardly around, trying to avoid eye contact now as he became uncomfortable, “-m… what’s wrong?”

Ryan blinked a few times like he’d been in a trance, “Wh-Nothing, nothing’s wrong.”

“You stopped.” Ray pointed out.

“Oh, yeah,” Ryan admitted awkwardly, “I just thought that we were going too fast.”

Ray’s head gave a few short shakes back and forth, he was fine with fast right now. Ryan smiled at him.

“Ray, you just got out of the hospital.” Ryan pointed out to him.

Ray shrugged, “A-nd?”

“And you were injured.”

Ray shrugged at him again.

“Ray you can barely walk on your own.” Ryan told him seriously, tone dropping some of its amusement.

“So- what?”

“So this isn’t what you need right now. You’ve been isolated for months, assaulted, and hospitalized,” Ryan rationalized, he shifted his weight to lay down next to Ray. Ray turned to face him, finding a nice source of comfort when Ryan’s weight caused the bed to dip and bring them closer, “And for meeting in person, this has gone way farther than it should have already.”

Ray felt a little disappointed at that, “I don’t -hink so.”

Ryan’s smirk returned, “Trust me, as much as I would love to do… everything with you. Let’s just wait at least till you’re completely in the right state of mind, alright?”

Ray huffed and lamented but he let it go, knowing he wasn’t going to win this argument. He let out a long sigh, letting the dip in between them bring him the rest of the way up to Ryan, becoming flush with his chest and throwing an arm around Ryan’s side. He ducked his head into Ryan’s collarbone and realized Ryan was probably right. He enjoyed this too much, it was like being starved and then given a feast, too much at once and too tempting. Ryan’s arm came across his back and it sent shivers up him again, this, this was enough. The feeling of fingertips lightly grazing over his skin, that was enough. Sharing body heat with the one he’d fallen in love with was more than enough.

* * *

 

~

* * *

 

“Come on, let us come in, just for a minute.”

“No.”

“Why the bloody hell not?”

“Because it’s not going to just be a minute with you two. You’ll wake him up.”

“We’ll be quiet.”  
“That’s a damn lie, especially from you, the loudest person on the planet. The two of you are loud as hell together and that’s the last thing he needs to wake up to.”

“He’s not a kid, Ryan.”

“No, he’s not, he’s asleep and he’s hurt. Just let him rest now, you’ll see him later.”

“... Fine…”

“Wot? No, not fine. The both of you already saw him, I want to see him.”

“Gavin, later. Not. Right. Now.”

“Gavin, cool it, it’s fine. Come on, Geoff wanted to get breakfast together. Will you come with us for that?”

“...I should probably pick Ray up something. I didn’t even think about breakfast food.”

“Hard to when you don’t wake up till noon.”

“Give him a break, let’s get going, I want to be back by the time he wakes up. It’s not good for him to be alone right now.”

The door closed loud enough for Ray to jump out of his sleep, having slowly stirred beforehand at the sound of voices. It took him a minute to adjust to his surroundings, remembering where he was exactly. Slowly, he lifted himself up on his elbows, looking around the room. His mind filled in the blanks, although he didn’t really remember the words he’d heard in his sleep, he knew it had been Ryan talking with two other people and concluded Ryan left somewhere but would be back. That was fine, he told himself, knowing Ryan would return. But still the feeling he had at the hospital nagged at him, a feeling he tried to swallow down. Ryan would be back.

He sat up slowly, being careful with his leg when his ankle didn’t like the position he moved it to. The glare of sunlight through blind covered windows was the only light pouring through the room but it was just as good as artificial light. He was so used to bright sunlight pouring into windows all around him, yet here he was now, in a room with darkness and tinted light. 

Looking down where he sat, he noticed he’d fallen asleep with his head to the wrong side of the bed and yet there were pillows below him he knew weren’t there before he fell asleep. The corner of his mouth twitched up at the thought of Ryan moving them so they could be more comfortable, a second one lay next to his own where Ryan had slept by him all night. He put his hand on the indentation, there was no warmth anymore but it still somehow buzzed with energy that struck him with a profound sense of emotion. A lump formed in his throat, feeling sad but not knowing why. He sat there, not know how much time was passing or what time it was, contemplating why he felt so out of place and tense. He’d finally gotten some sleep, finally met Ryan, had food, had someone to hold at night, and now he was upset about something he couldn’t figure out. Ray’s shoulder shook a little, as if he were cold or filled with rage but he was neither. It was so bad he’d curled up but still couldn’t stop and still he didn’t know why.

He debated going outside but the thought scared him, he didn’t want to face what was beyond the door just yet. His eyes came down next to the bottle of Jack that lay on the motel room desk. He didn’t know why that was there, Ryan didn’t drink neither did he, but for some reason it seemed tempting. He got up, nearly falling on his face in the process and grabbed the bottle before sitting back down on the bed. Ray looked it over, in his hand as he took off the top of it. The smell struck his nose hard and he repulsed at the thought of it. It wasn’t the taste that got him thinking this would be a good idea but the effect it could have on him. He closed his eyes as he turned the bottle back. Immediately he lunged forwards and nearly spat it all out, stopping the burning liquid with his clenched teeth. He barely managed to swallow it, some of it made it’s way back into his sinuses, burning through his head, his nose, his throat, his insides. Despite all of this pain, he felt his mind numb some and his nerves fall flat finally. It hurt but it relieved the pressure building inside of him. He took another drink, feeling disgusting.

He coughed after it went down, the shaking stopped, letting him relax his muscles even though he felt sick now. It was at that moment that the door opened, damn near scaring him half to death. Ryan’s face flickered from happy to see him to stunned when he saw what was going on. Immediately he came forward and snatched the bottle from him. The ferocity in his eyes pierced him with an icy glare, “What do you think you’re doing?”

Ray stared at him, dizzy but focused at the same time by how scared he was.

“What the… Why? You definitely don’t need this, what were you thinking?” Ryan pressured him, not out of hate but worry.

Ray felt his eyes sting, tears forming, “...I… I don’t know- I just wanted to stop…”

Ryan eased up, looking at the bottle then back to Ray, “...Well don’t… don’t drink this.”

Ray looked at it curiously, “Why do you have that?

“It’s not mine, it’s Geoff’s,” Ryan half-heartedly explained, “Look, what… why were you drinking this?”

Ray gulped thickly, he thought this must be what a dog feels like when he’s been caught peeing on the carpet, “I don’t know… I kept shaking…”

“So you started drinking?”

“It stopped it…,” Ray mumbled, “It just hurt…”

Ryan sat the bottle back down on the table, “Okay...okay,” He sat down next to Ray, a bag in his hands. He reached in and pulled out some sort of sandwich wrapped in paper, handing it to Ray. Ray unwrapped it, it was some kind of breakfast sandwich but Ray didn’t take a bite. He felt sick still and didn’t want to try and force anything down. Ryan was quiet for a moment, rubbing at his chin and staring at the floor. Ray kept his eyes on Ryan but didn’t look him in the eye, guilt was washed through him, he didn’t really know what he’d been thinking, “You can talk to me about this, you don’t have to pretend everything is fine.”

“I’m not…”

“Alright, I’m just trying to figure out what you need. What started this?”

“I don’t know…”

“You were shaking?”

“Yes…”

Ryan put his arm around Ray’s shoulder, it helped so much, making him feel better in an instance. Tense shoulders relaxed under the weight of his presence. Ryan looked him over fondly, “Lonely?”

Ray slowly nodded.

“That we can help,” He smiled, “You need to eat. I have to bring you by the station today so you can answer some questions. If you can just hold on until all that’s over, we’ll see about settling those nerves of yours.”

Ray nodded his head, “I have to?”

“Yeah… can’t get out of that one.”

He let out a long sigh, talking with people wasn’t going to be easy, “Okay.”

* * *

 

When they left the motel, Ryan was nice enough to remain as Ray’s crutch for the day. He’d also given Ray some spare clothes, though Ray had no idea where they came from. They weren’t his, too small, but they they could fit Ray alright. He didn’t really ask when Ryan left the room and came back with them, he was just happy to be wearing something clean. 

Outside the sun was hot and bright out, summer still gripped this part of the world but it wasn’t as bad as it had been. Ray looked at the windows where Geoff, Jack, Michael, and Gavin were meant to be at, almost expecting them to be there but they weren’t. The rooms were dark and shut with the blinds pulled down.

Ryan held him a little closer as they passed, “You’ll get to meet them later, I promise.”

Ray looked all around while Ryan guided him to the truck, everything looked different by day and as they passed through town, getting away from all the businesses and passing into more residential areas. 

Eventually, he saw familiar territory, sights he remembered from months before in a different car with a different driver that had been nice enough to take him out that way. The ranger station appeared, a slab of a building all concrete and blocky with an American flag waving in the front. Ryan parked in the thin strip of asphalt out front and helped Ray in. He barely remembered being inside before, it was a quick exchange, here’s the stuff you’ll need, here’s your boss’s name, good luck. Now he felt like he was being brought here on a prison sentence. Two cops stood in the lobby, talking with a ranger he hadn’t met before, all three turned on them as they entered and before he knew it, they separated him from Ryan and carted him off in a room alone.

It freaked him out initially, being not white and off in a rural area didn’t exactly spell good things to him when it came to cops. To his surprise, when they sat him down in an empty office, they were kind enough not to pressure him. 

“Alright there son, we’re going to ask you a few things. Just tell us anything important that comes to mind.” One of them, a portly police officer, told him. The other stood behind him with a file in his hands nodding along. Ray agreed, naturally.

They asked him a few straight forward questions at first, confirming who he was, describing how things had gone. He was honest, for the most part, only keeping his relationship with the others secret. It wasn’t as it they needed to know anyways. After the practice round was over, they got to the point. The officer in the back laid down the folder, opening it up to a mugshot of a frighteningly familiar face. The stalker from the woods stood against a height referenced background, he was bruised but not nearly as bad as Ray remembered leaving him. He looked too different in this photo but still very recognizable even without the bloodied nose, bruises, and dirt. Ray leaned away from the image in his seat, from this, the officers glanced to one another before proceeding, “Do you recognize this man?”

“Yeah,” Ray nodded, even though he wasn’t around, it still made him uncomfortable to see him, “That’s the man that was lighting fires and… stalking me…”

“He stalked you?” One of the officers questioned.

“Not just me, he stalked these two girls that came through too.”

“And how did you find that out?”

“I found where he was camping, in Wapiti, the school’s campsite. He had clothes there and pictures but… I guess the fire destroyed them.” Ray told them honestly. He figured they wouldn’t believe a word of that but the one in the back nodded.

“That would explain the women’s clothes we found on the scene.”

“And he stole the radios as well?”

“Yes.” Ray answered, “But I got them back when he attacked me.”

“Attacked you? Is he the one that did that number on you?” The portly officer gestured to his ankle.

Ray nodded, “He didn’t want me to leave… I don’t know why, I just ran off when he chased me.”

“But he still caught you, and uh, assaulted you?” The officer gestured over Ray’s person.

Ray nodded again, “He did, but I got a few hits in, enough to knock him out and get away,” he admitted, “I know I shouldn’t have gone that far, I was just freaking out. I just really wanted to get away from him.”

“That you did,” The portly officer chuckled, “Must have packed a real punch there.”

Ray shifted nervously, “Am I in trouble for that? It was self-defense, I swear-”

“Easy there, son, what you did to him is the least of this man’s worries,” The officer assured him, “Heyman here is wanted for arson, destruction of private property, violation of laws protecting our national forest and that’s in addition to his previous charges. We’re just filling in some of the gaps so we know what all happened. We found trace evidence at the scene, women’s clothes, some photographs...”

“Heyman?” Ray asked.

“Yes, sir, Joel Heyman. Does the name sound familiar to you? Do you know him from before all of this?”

“No,” Ray told him honestly, it didn’t help him understand the motive any better. They’d never met before, never talked before those events, it just didn’t make sense, “I don’t know what he wanted or where he came from or… who he even is. Should I?”

“Not per se, seems he just lost interest in one target and found a new interest in you,” The cop told him, “When we get ahold of him we’ll be interrogating him but, seems like one of them cases that just starts out all confusing.”

Ray raised an eyebrow at them and cleared his throat, despite it note helping his gravely voice any, “Wait, you haven’t caught him.”

“Not yet, but we’re looking.” The other officer told him, “We’ve impounded his vehicle and are currently searching for him. Eventually he’ll have to come out of there or the fire will get him.”

Ray licked his lips nervously, “He isn’t dead is he? I left him at this old burnt up cabin… it was… south of Beartooth Point.”

“Emergency crews already searched the path you traveled and any landmarks around the area, specifically at Hawk’s Rest, given that you made your location known there according to a Mr. Haywood. The cabin was found but no person was inside, did report a few trails of footprints though and recorded the scene of your struggle along with blood,” The policeman nodded, “Do you think you killed him?”

Ray shook his head, “No! I don’t think I did, I hope I didn’t. I didn’t want to kill him, I just wanted to leave!”

“Alright, calm down there, son, we got multiple testimonies against this man saying he was violent. We imagine he wasn’t thinking of being friendly with you either.”

Ray grew more nervous, but a different kind of nervous at those words, “What does that mean?”

The officer looked hesitant to tell him but shrugged and looked into the file, “Several sexual harassment cases, three accounts of attempted sexual assault, a restraining order… been arrested for physical assault too, Joel Heyman’s a violent case.”

Ray swallowed at the thought of what that made him in the eyes of that man.

Seeing the worry the cop backtracked, “He won’t be getting far though. Not without a car, not in that forest.”

“Right…” It didn’t help Ray feel any better at all.

After that, the cops wrapped it up. They’d just wanted his side to confirm charges against him and let Ray know a bit about the legal side of things and how things might progress in the future. Other than that, he was free to go and he couldn’t wait to leave, hobbling against the wall down the hallway. Ready to see Ryan waiting for him in the lobby.

As he rounded the corner, Ray caught sight of Ryan with quite a few people, one he recognized as Michael right off the bat. Upon his arrival, Michael’s caught sight of him and rushed at him so fast Ray had to brace for impact. He was lifted off his feet by Michael’s bear hug and had a hard time breathing.

“There you are, been waiting around for you!” Michael cheered.

“Good to see you too.” Ray had to struggled out. Michael let him down easy, careful of his injury and letting Ray use him for support while he guided him over to the others. Ryan took over as the human crutch when they got close enough but Ray wasn’t even paying attention, he was looking on at the faces staring back at him. No one was talking, just looking at each other, and Ray could already tell what was going on. These were them, the others. From the photograph he’d seen in Michael’s tower, he recognized the big nosed Gavin with the messy hair and the skinny body, looking like he wanted to pounce on Ray. He also recognized the mustache on the older, tattooed one with tired eyes, Geoff. It was strange seeing both his boss and potential lover at the same time. The last one he didn’t recognize at all but knew who he must be, taller, older, and with a big red beard surrounding downright jolly features, Jack. His eyes briefly glanced down at their hands and sure enough, he saw the bracelets that Michael had described and sported himself. They confirmed who their owners were.

                              

A smile crept up on Ray’s face, “...Hi…”

“Hey.” Geoff spoke up, raising eyebrows at him. 

“...Wow…” Ray fumbled with his words, not really sure what to say to all of this. By the look of the others, they also weren’t entirely sure what to say either.

Gavin spoke next, his british accent obvious amongst them, “Do you know who we are.”

Ray raised an eyebrow in question at him, as if it would be hard to guess, “Yes Gavin, of course I know who you are.”

Gavin was absolutely delighted by his answer but his expression dipped a little at hearing Ray, “Good lord, you sound awful.”

“You should have heard him yesterday, voice kept cracking every time he opened his mouth.” Ryan teased him, earning him a look from Ray.

“Let’s get out of here,” Geoff told the group, not looking at them but to the other people in the building, “Let’s talk over lunch.”

At the implication behind Geoff’s voice, the group caught on eyes looking to see the potential onlookers. The group moved out of the building, guiding Ray along until the were safely out of sight in the empty parking lot. They came around Ryan’s truck and Gavin leaped at Ray, long thin arms nearly knocking him over as they took him from Ryan’s support.

“AH, ow, ow, ow.” Ray let out as a reflex when he had to take a few heavy steps back. It was enough for Gavin to back off of him, little guilty and giddy at the same time.

“Sorry there, love, just excited to finally see you.”

“Gavin,” jack chastised him, “He just got released from the hospital.”

“He looks alright.” Gavin pointed out.

“He’s not as fragile as you guys think he is.” Michael came to Ray’s defence, they exchanged knowing glances. Ray could tell how much Michael was holding himself back in that moment, his earlier advance had been a spur of the moment reaction, now he was just overwhelmingly happy to be a foot in front of him.

“Geoff,” Ryan interrupted them, “What are you thinking we should do?”

Geoff looked fondly on Ray for a minute, “We’ll go back to the motel, make some lunch.”

“Just spend the day together?” Ryan asked, getting a nod from Geoff.

“You have a better plan?”

“Not at all.”

“Then let’s split up the numbers,” Jack proposed, pointing towards Michael and Gavin, “Van’s too cramped with all our stuff and these two.”

The two in question just smirked at the comment.

“I got room in the truck,” Ryan rustled Gavin’s hair as he accepted his new charges, “I’ll take them.”

“I get to sit in the back with Ray.” Gavin was quick to call dibs.

“Gavin, he needs legroom.” Ryan argued.

“He can put his legs up in my lap.”

“It’s fine, Ryan,” Ray jumped in before Ryan got defensive of him, “I can sit in the back.”

Despite the want to protest clear on his face, he relented. Ray was starting to pick up on how greedy Ryan was at times, trying to keep Ray all to himself. It was oddly flattering, he’d never had people trying to grab his attention this much before.

They split up, Geoff and Jack going to a van that did indeed look overstuffed with personal belongings and Michael and Gavin stayed with Ray and Ryan. Michael took up shotgun in Ray’s absence while  Ray and Gavin took up seats in the back. It was a little cramped but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Of course Ryan worried anyways and watched him through the rearview mirror as he settled down in the back before starting to drive off.

Almost as soon as they left the parking lot, Ray glanced over at Gavin. The gesture met with Gavin’s face on his own, knocking him back against the door. Lips on his own threw him for a loop and caught the attention of everyone else in the truck too. Gavin practically crawled over him, keeping Ray’s mouth on his own, movements so quick it kept Ray breathless.

“Jesus christ.” Michael could be heard commenting from the front. Ray looked over that direction, to see Michael turning back towards the road, hands drifting towards the steering wheel because Ryan was having a hard time concentrating on the road now. They were all pretty grateful that the street in this dusty old town were pretty empty.

Ray managed to turn his face away to breathe, “Hah… what are you…”

Gavin bit his lip, clearly wanting to continue, “Michaels and Ryan been teasing me all summer about you. Had to get a taste for myself, love.”

“Couldn’t hold off for a little?” Ray asked looking at Gavin like he was crazy. It wasn’t a bad kiss by any means but damn was it surprising.

“Nope.”

“Gavin’s not subtle.” Michael commented, “Or patient, or suave, or modest, or considerate-”

“Hey,” Gavin protested, “Come on now.”

“What? You’re not. I love you but you  _ are _ a piece of shit like ninety-eight percent of the time.”

Gavin huffed at that but was delighted when he caught sight of Ryan, “Enjoy the view, Rye?” Ryan just cleared his throat glancing back and forth between him in the mirror and the road. Ray blushed like he’d been caught cheating but realized just as quickly that technically he wasn’t. Still, Gavin jumping on him like that put him in a state that made him feel very compromised, “He loves this sort of thing. Watching an’ all. It’s better when he joins though.”

“Gavin.” Ryan’s called his name like an angry father, it was a warning, ‘Shut up, I’m serious.’

“Come on Ray, give us a kiss?” Gavin coaxed him, ignoring the others.

“Well don’t jump me and I might.” Ray bargained in return, scooting up in his seat. He timidly leaned forward and gave Gavin a much softer kiss. The look on Gavin’s face in response was simply diabolical.

“Keep it in your pants until we get to the motel, jesus.” Michael shot Gavin a look.

“What you call that visit to Ray’s tower then, eh?” Gavin pointed out.

“Fortunate circumstances.” Michael supplied slowly with an all too confident smile on his face as he turned to watch the road. Ray laughed at the response, Michael was just the same as before and he was glad for that. For some reason, he anticipated everything being different, and in a way, everything was, but Michael was just the same. Perhaps it was because Ray had actually met him a few times, spent time in person with him, that made it easier to adjust to him now. Whatever it was, it was nice that there was that sense of familiarity that hadn’t changed. No awkward greetings and shying away with him, just smiles and jokes. Ray sat back away from Gavin who was a little more fresh with him than he was in the mood for right now and just enjoyed the ride back, happy to be finally meeting the whole group 

* * *

 

A motel room filled with six people was certainly crowded but comfortably so. It reminded Ray of his tower and how he imagined it would be if they were all in that small space. They’d taken up Michael and Gavin’s room, in between the other two reserved rooms so that they could avoid noise complaints a little better. All day they talked, they ate, they joked, they played games, and some of them drank. It was like a sleepover party but for a bunch of adults.

As time went on and they daylight left, they’d all settled in different areas around the room. Several chairs from their collective rooms had been moved in so that everyone had a place as well. Geoff and Jack sat in chairs near the bathroom, Michael was perched on the room’s desk. Ryan sat on a backwards chair, so his arms were propped up on the back, by the door. And Ray had settled for laying out on one of the bed like the older members of the groups had fussed for him to do. He wasn’t alone in this as Gavin had taken it upon himself to lay out next to him, taking up more of the bed than he did. That was one quality that really came through about Gavin, he was clingy to a fault, though Ray thought it could just be that Gavin was as desperate for human contact as he was.

He’d settled for keeping an arm around Gavin as he craned his neck upside down in order to pay attention to conversations. It didn’t seem to bother anyone, it had the opposite effect actually. Ryan’s eyes would glaze over at him occasionally and Michael just looked at him and Gavin both with a hungry stare. Ray could tell it was eating up at him that he wasn’t in Gavin’s place, or maybe Ray’s place, or a place in between them both. He knew how insatiable Michael could be. 

Gavin shifted against him, getting a phone out of his pocket and ignoring the crowd as Geoff went on with his story, “Ray, can you give me your phone number?”

“Yeah sure, need to call me for something?”

“He just wants to send you sexts.” Michael intervened. Gavin shot him a cheeky look that confirmed this. 

Ray chuckled, “Very subtle.”

“Always, love,” Gavin basked in his faults, “Come on then, I’ll still have those digits.”

“555-265-2483.” Ray told him anyways.

“We should all get your number at some point,” Ryan chimed in, at this point Geoff and Jack were just talking with each other.

“You won’t need it,” Michael pointed out, “All he has to do to reach you is open his mouth, you’ll never leave him alone.”

“Yep,” Ryan admitted, “You’ve foiled my plan to be so clingy he’ll learn to hate me.”

“Not going to happen. It’s impossible.” Ray assured him.

“Bullshit, that was day one.” Ryan joked.

“Alright, we’re past that though. Not going to happen anymore.” Ray clarified just as his phone went off. He pulled it out of his pocket to see a string of words dirty enough to make him blush, “Je...sus… Gavin, what the fuck?”

“Want to?” Gavin asked suggestively.

“I don’t… how do you even?” Ray asked getting a grin.

“I can show you.”

“Not tonight,” Ryan put his foot down firmly on that subject, “Get your paws off of him you animal.”

“You’re one to talk.” Gavin said pointedly.

“Ryan, the entire ocean couldn’t stop him from being thirsty.” Michael commented but he stared at Gavin with envy, “Hey Gav, you wanna have some fun we can steal Geoff and Jack’’s room for a night.”

“But I finally got to spend some time with Ray, that’s no fair, making me choose.” Gavin complained.

“Yeah well, I don’t think Ray’s into group yet, or I’d extend the invitation,” Michael explained with a wink to Ray before turning to Ryan. His attempt at whispering was an absolute fail in such a small area, “You are  _ so lucky _ to be sharing a bed with that minx.”

Both Ray and Ryan blushed at that remark and Ray protested, “I’m not  _ that _ desperate, Michael.”

“I didn’t say you were,” Michael retorted, “I just said you were a minx. You’re great in bed, that’s not something people usually want to deny.”

Before he could even respond to that he felt a tickling sensation on his neck and flinch in response. Gavin just laughed at him, having tried and failed to get at his neck. Ray raised an eyebrow at him, Gavin had had a few drink during their time together, but now he really wondered if he was drunk, “Sorry Ray, couldn’t resist.”

“Yes you could have,” Ryan accused lightheartedly, “You just don’t want to.”

“Guilty as charged.” Gavin admitted with a laugh.

“On that note, I think I’ll head off to bed. It’s getting really late,” Ryan changed the subject, getting up from his chair and rubbing at the back of his neck, “I’ve got to get up early tomorrow and it’s going to take me forever to get to sleep anyways.”

“You’re just going to pop off, hell of a reunion this is.” Gavin whined.

Ryan put out his hands, “Well, I have to drive tomorrow. At least one of us needs to be thinking clearly and everyone of you has been drinking, except Ray and me. And he can’t drive, so, just me for driver tomorrow.”

When he put it like that, Ray felt pretty bad. Out of the whole group, Ryan was decidedly more responsible than the rest and that seemed to put him in a pretty unfair position. While the others took note that Ryan was leaving for the night and let out their ribbing and whining, Ray brought himself up on his elbows, “Wait, Ryan, can you help me get back to our room. I’m kind of tired too.”

Ryan looked a little surprised, “Sure, I thought you were having fun.”

“I am, I’m just pretty worn out.”

“Aw, Ray, not you too.” Gavin sounded like a disappointed child.

“I’m tired,” Ray repeated, “We can just resume all of this tomorrow anyways.”

“Let him go Gav,” Geoff told him from the back, “Give him some space.”

“Alright,” Gavin relented, “Goodnight then, love.”

“Night.” Ray told him, and did the same to the rest of the room. So many faces looked sad to see him go. He couldn’t help but think he was seeing his own funeral for a second. Ryan wrapped Ray’s arm around his neck and hoisted him up on his feet again.

“Ready?” Ryan asked before they started moving. Ray gave him a nod in turn and they headed for the door, receiving more goodbyes, goodnights, and see you in the morning’s. Thankfully they didn’t have to go very far at all, “Are you sure you don’t want to stay up with them for a little bit longer?”

“No, I wanted to leave. I mean, it was fun to hang out and all, I just… needed some space,” Ray waited till Ryan opened the door and they shuffled in before continuing, “And I needed to get away from Gavin.”

Ryan let out a laugh at that, “He’s really clingy today, isn’t he?”

Ray’s eyes shifted a little, he didn’t want to say it outloud but Ryan went ahead and said it for him, “Extremely.”

“He get’s like that whenever we get back from watch. He and Michael, the two of them act like rabbits, I swear. Be glad you weren’t here the first night back, the noise just added to the list of reasons I couldn’t sleep.” Ryan sat Ray down on the nearest bed. He wasn’t at all surprised that those two would get completely absorbed in each other. As much as Michael complained about Gavin, he complained with affection. A clear sign of a good couple. Ryan sat down next to him on the other side of the bed, the bed dipped towards him and Ray was rocked a little closer, “Of course I was worried about you that whole time so I wasn’t going to get any sleep anyways.”

Ray smirked, “Worried about me?”

Ryan smiled back as he started taking off his shoes, “Very worried, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat,” Ryan leaned in close and kissed him on the forehead, “Couldn’t think straight.”

“I just ruined your whole night, didn’t I?” 

Ryan tossed is shoes to the side and turned to face Ray properly, bringing his legs up on the bed, “Oh yeah, absolutely, destroyed all my plans.”

“I’m glad I mean so much to you, I thought you would have forgotten all about me over donuts and diet coke.” Ray joked.

Ryan’s eyebrows knitted together with worry. He clearly knew it was a joke but the thought didn’t seem to strike him as funny at all, “Christ, no, what kind of heartless bastard do you think I am.”

“You’re not one,” Ray corrected, “But I was a little worried in the hospital.” 

“Ray, I wouldn’t-”

Ray looked Ryan dead in the eye and offered up his wrist with a clenched fist, “You want to know something about what happened in the woods? I tried to call you after I was attacked but my radio was broken,” Ray told him honestly. Ryan backed up at that, not expecting the truth like that, “I just didn’t want you to forget me. When I woke up in the hospital I thought you did… that’s all I’m going to say about that.”

“Well don’t worry about that anymore. I’m not going to abandon you, ever. If you get lost, I’m going to do everything I can to find you,” Ryan swore, serious but he lightened up and smiled when Ray began sporting a flustered grin, “And I’ll beat the crap out of any weirdos that get in the way.”

Ryan put a hand on Ray’s shoulder, it was comforting and assuring, “Just be quicker on the draw next time, I had to do that for you.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at that, worry set in on his face again. Ray felt a little uneasy, the words just spewed out without him thinking. That time, fighting that creep, it just came to mind now. Just like he kept getting flashes of it in the hospital. His grin faded and his gaze drifted beyond Ryan.

Ryan cleared his throat, filling the silence, “Ray, do you want to talk about what happened out there?”

“No.” Ray snapped back quickly, “...Sorry I brought it up, I really don’t. I want to forget about it, it just… keeps coming back up.”

“I bet,” Ryan agreed, “It’s just fresh in your mind now, and it’s not something you can just easily get over. But you might have to revisit those memories sometimes to get past them, I’m not saying you have to now but… when you’re ready to talk through that, just know you’ve got fire pairs of ears that will listen and be on your side.”

Ray nodded in understanding, “This is nice… having others to depend on.”

Ryan chuckled, “Don’t worry, you’ll get sick of us.”

Ray started to grin again, “Not likely.”

At that Ryan’s eyes glazed over for a second, distracted in thought. He reached into his pocket for something, “I was going to wait on this, but, I guess I might as well ask since we’re on this sort of subject.”

Ray watched him pull something from his pocket with curiosity, “What?”

Ryan brought up his arm to show his wrist to Ray, and more specifically, his bracelet, “Do you see this?”

Ray smirked, “Yeah, it’s your… relationship bracelet, Michael told me about them.”

“He did?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, when he was at my tower.” Ray explained, surprised that detail never reached Ryan.

“Oh… then, you know how this works?” Ryan asked to confirm.

“Yeah, you can take it off but you can’t put it on yourself, and it’s a promise into the relationship. You’re either brought in or you break out, right?” Ray summarized what he remembered.

Ryan chuckled, “Yeah, that just about covers it.”

There was an awkward bit of silence and Ray looked at him expectantly, “Ryan?”

Ryan bit his lip, “Yeah?”

“Is that a bracelet in your hand or are you just happy to see me?” Ray joked, making Ryan laugh in the process. It was enough to break the tension there. It wasn’t as if Ryan was being secretive about any of it anyways.

Ryan calmed down a little, opening his hand for Ray to see a shiny bracelet made from little metal ringlets, “I...uh… I made it, while I was waiting for you in the hospital.”

Ray raised an eyebrow, “How long were you in that hospital again?” 

“As long as I could be.”

Ray looked over the bracelet, impressed, “Didn’t know you were that crafty.”

Ryan took that in strides, “I’m good with my hands.” He said with no shortage of suggestion.

“I’m going to ignore that you just said that,” Ray told him, setting aside the obvious thread he wanted to pull at so he could stay serious, “Are you going to offer me that bracelet or do I need to fill in that blank too?”

“I, uh…,” Ryan went back to faltering, “Well it just seems like it’s… a little quick to be offering it to you.”

Ray nodded, “It’s a mark that means you’re in the relationship, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then put it on my wrist.”

Ryan paused at that blunt statement, “You’re sure? I wasn’t going to rush this.”

“Then put it on my wrist so I know I don’t have to worry about you leaving me behind.” Ray told him giving him a smirk, “I’ve also been wanting one since Michael told me about them.”

Ryan smiled, feeling less stressed by the offer now, “Really?”

“I’m serious about this,” Ray told him, “I want to be in this relationship, with you, with the others.”

“You can take it off, you don’t even have to wear this, if this doesn’t sit well with you.” Ryan assured him.

“I know, but if we’re going to try this, we’re going to do this right. I’m going to wear the bracelet and be accountable for what happens like everyone else.” Ray swore, offering his wrist again, “I follow the rules.”

Ryan hesitated a little more but knew better at this point than to argue with Ray over something like this. He unclasped the bracelet and dressed Ray’s wrist with it. It wasn’t as tight fitting as Ray expected it to be, in fact it practically hung off of his wrist. Ray inspected it, moved by the sentimental gesture but amused that it was far too big for him. Ryan chuckled at it as well, “Well… I didn’t exactly know how big your wrists were. I’ll resize that for you tomorrow.”

Ray laughed at the shift in mood all of a sudden but was very pleased all the same. He looked over the metal ringlets on his wrist fondly. It was a little strange how something so small had so much meaning but now that it was there, he didn’t want to take it off. Ray turned his attention to Ryan, sitting up straighter so he could lean forward, wrap his arms around Ryan’s shoulder, and give him a kiss. He was glad they left the others for now. As much as he loved getting to know them and getting used to the relationships he had to all of them, he really just wanted time with Ryan right now. 

Ryan’s arms around him just felt comforting and safe. Just the two of them wasn’t nearly as stressful as the room full of all of them. Ryan wasn’t clinging to him, or intimidating him, or joking about him, he just was there. And Ray knew if he hadn’t been there the whole time, he would have probably had a breakdown of some kind in front of all of them. Being around people had never been so frightening to him, even though he had feelings for them, everywhere he went people terrified him. But not Ryan, not after they met last night. Ryan was that one constant for him right now.

Ray let out a long sigh, “Is it bad that I want to spend time with you right now, and not the others.”

“No, ‘course not.” Ryan told him, fingers rubbing lightly into his back, “Do you feel like it is?”

Ray bit at his lip, “Kind of… I feel like I should do more with the group, but… I just feel awkward.”

“I’ve told you before, you don’t have to move things that fast. You don’t even have to commit yourself to everyone, they’ll understand if you don’t want to get that involved. Noone said you had to fall for everyone. Five people is a lot to try being with, none of us were that comfortable at first, these things just take time,” Ryan continued, “And it’s your first time time being out here, with us. No one expects you to be comfortable with this automatically.”

“How  _ do  _ you get comfortable with this? I’m only comfortable with you… and Michael, but still not at the same time. Michael’s more of a best friend to me right now and you… you just feel safe to me.” Ray questioned, he felt Ryan’s shoulder shift beneath him, raising up and falling back down in a shrug.

“Just time, Sunshine,” Ryan assured again, “Just like any relationship. Just like any friendship. You can’t just walk up to someone and feel at ease with them or know how they feel. You just learn over time, same thing applies to this. And you’ve been cut off for a long time, you feel comfortable with Michael because he’s the only one you saw in person out there, you feel comfortable with me probably just because we’ve talked so much. It’s not easy reorienting yourself to interactions.”

Ray’s arms held tighter around Ryan’s neck, his hand found his wrist, feeling the ringlets there. He knew Ryan was right, he’d made brash decisions, but for some reason he just wanted to be like that. He didn’t regret taking the bracelet but he did still feel unprepared. He felt like he was missing time but in reality, he was just missing physical interaction. He talked to the others, communicated for months, but it was just like talking to disembodied voices until now.

Ryan let out a deep breath, seeming to become disappointed at something. Ray grew nervous at this, “I wish I knew what you need,” Ryan admitted. It became clear to Ray he was disappointed in himself, “It’s hard enough getting used to this. But you were attacked. You were left alone. And now all of this… but I don’t know how to fix everything.”

Ray shifted his face, cheek pressed against Ryan’s collarbone as he looked up, only being able to see as far as Ryan’s jaw from his position. He didn’t need to see Ryan’s eyes to know how worried he was, Ray knew that voice, knew that tone. He could tell, “It’s not your job to fix my problems.”

Ray watched as Ryan’s jaw clenched at that, “I feel like it is… or that it should be.”

“But it’s not,” Ray reiterated, looking back down, awkwardly, “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way… and thanks, you know, for helping me as much as you have. If it helps any, you’re right about what I don’t need. I don’t know why I thought taking that drink this morning was a good idea… I hate drinking… but… I don’t know.”

“You’re still shaken up, I shouldn’t have been that aggressive when I caught that. I’ve been regretting that all day.”

“No… I needed you to do that.”

“Well, at least I helped you with something you needed,” Ryan halfheartedly laughed, “I guess, all I know how to do is comfort you with words, I need to learn how to interact with you in person just like you need to learn how to interact with me.”

Ray nodded against him, “That sounds like a good start.”

Ryan gave Ray’s back a soft pat, “We’ll work on it,” He sighed, “... should probably go to sleep now.”

Neither of them moved away from each other, Ray only shifted to tighten his hold, “Yeah, probably.”

Ryan hummed, amused that Ray wasn’t letting go, “Not so tired anymore?”

“Just a few more minutes?” Ray asked, “I like this interaction we have going on here.”

Ryan chuckled at that and Ray was able to feel the rise and fall of each rumbling laugh, “Fine by me, I like it too. You’re a lot more affectionate than the others, in an innocent kind of way. I rarely ever get to just hold someone.”

“Get ready to get sick of it, I love this.” Ray warned.

At that, Ryan moved his hands lower, taking Ray by surprised when he lifted him up and situated Ray better in his lap, “Here, let’s get more comfortable then.”

Ray complied, moving his good leg around to be on the other side of Ryan’s. His left leg still draped over the side but this way he could put his body flat against Ryan’s. Though the second he tried that his face heated up, parts of him brushed against Ryan and revitalized a few sensations. Ray let his hands fall from Ryan’s neck and travel down shoulders, arms, and Ryan’s chest until they settled at his hips. He followed his hands with his eyes, now distracted by just how attracted he was to Ryan. He remembered a time when he wouldn’t have been attracted to an older man. He certainly wasn’t when he fell in love with Ryan either. It was his personality he loved first but those feelings apparently carried over to Ryan’s physical body as well. He hadn’t anticipated ever liking someone taller, stronger, and older than him but wasn’t complaining at any rate. Ryan had a great body, one Ray imagined would be out of a teenage wet dream, one out of his own wet dreams honestly if his experiences in Two Forks was anything to go by. All those thoughts came to him as he looked over Ryan again, he certainly wasn’t tired anymore. If anything, he wanted to spend his energy getting much closer to Ryan. 

Caught in the moment, Ryan leaned a little too much, tipping Ray off balance and bringing them both down on the bed as Ray gripped onto him during the fall. Ray let out a hiss, his bad ankle having fallen back down onto the bed too roughly. They had to let go of each other when Ray reflexively curled away and reached to rub his ankle. Ryan sat up and reached down for Ray’s leg as well, surprising him by taking his leg over his lap and rubbing lightly at the sore area.

“Sorry about that,” He apologized, “Got a little carried away.”

Ray blushed a little, he had to lie on his side for Ryan to massage his ankle so he hid his face in the covers. Ray hated that he kept ending up ruining their moments but then again, this was pretty nice too. His ankle did feel a little better from the attention.

“I suppose you don’t really want to tell me what happened to your ankle, either?” Ryan asked, delving back to the questions Ray had left unanswered. Ray picked his head up from the covers for a moment but turned his gaze to the wall behind Ryan.

“I got a small tear on my tendon.” Ray said stiffly.

Ryan’s eyes lidded heavily, “You know what I mean. The why.”

Ray’s own eyes avoided him further by staring at the sheets beneath him now, “No.”

“Okay,” Ryan let it go again. Ray felt a little bad, knowing Ryan was only trying to help. It also didn’t do wonders for their level of trust but Ray just really didn’t want to. He wanted to sleep those events off and put them behind him, even if that meant keeping everyone else in the dark. As caring as Ryan’s curiosity was, he could bring himself to respond the way Ryan was hoping to, and he likely wouldn’t for a long time, “Does this feel any better?”

Ray looked his way again, nodding, “Yeah, feels great. You’re pretty good at this.”

Ryan smiled, “Michael and Gavin are good practice, they’re dumb enough to get themselves hurt a lot.”

Ray laughed at that, “I thought Jack was supposed to be the mom of the group?”

“Only eighty percent of the time, I fill in the gaps,” Ryan boasted, his fingers moved further away from Ray’s anke and up his calf. Ray flinched when Ryan’s thumb moved over a series of scabbed over scars that mark along his legs like speed bumps. Ray’s face grew even more red when he felt goosebumps crawl up his legs all the way up to the base of his neck, “You’re a fast healer, these scars were much worse when I found you in my tower.”

Ray’s eyes widened at that, “In your tower?”

Ryan kept staring at the scars fondly, his fingers continued moving over the marks, “I told you, I left with the evacuation team to find you, “ He then looked up to Ray, smirk on his face, “And I did.”

Ray was thrown back by that, “But you…”

“Found you curled up in my bed, covered in ash and scars,” Ryan finished for him knowingly. He wasn’t lying, he didn’t even need to give proof, Ray believed him, “And you know what I thought?”

Ray shook his head.

“I was so worried when I saw you there, I kept thinking ‘Dear god, tell me he’s alive, tell me he’s fine. What happened? Why did I leave?’ and when I held you, into the helicopter and all the way till they told me I couldn’t go with you into intensive care I was so relieved. ‘My Sunshine, he’s so much stronger than any of us could have imagine.’” Ryan’s words flustered Ray, “‘And he’s soooo, so so beautiful.’”

Ray let out a laugh to hide his embarrassment, “Sure.”

“It’s true.” Ryan teased, putting Ray’s leg down but his hand did leave the skin. He leaned in closer over Ray, hand gliding up his leg as he went, “So beautiful. You were like sleeping beauty and I just wanted to kiss you and wake you up.”

“You could do that now.” Ray suggested, craning his neck up towards Ryan, just short of making contact.

“But you’re already awake.” Ryan pointed out. In response Ray closed his eyes and let himself go limp, he even pretended to snore for good measure. He heard chuckles above him and then got a kiss on his lips which he took advantage of. 

Ray bought his hand up towards Ryan and brought him down, even closer. Ryan’s hand moved further up as he did, resting high now on Ray’s thigh. Ray’s eyes opened when Ryan pressed against him more, opening their mouths to deepen the kiss. Tongue wasn’t Ray’s strong suit but that didn’t stop Ryan from dominating him there. He let out a sigh, enjoying just laying back while Ryan guided their actions. He just held Ryan’s head to his own, determined to not let Ryan back out anytime soon. Ryan did seperate, allowing Ray to breath while he moved to kiss the corner of his lips hungrily.

“I should have woke you up, Sleeping Beauty,” Ryan breathed, “We both should really go to bed. You’re going to need sleep for tomorrow.”

Ray sighed out a small groan in irritation, “Forget about needs, we’re out of the woods, we can have wants.”

Ryan’s breath ghosted over Ray’s lips, “You’re still recovering.”

“I don’t care,” Ray dismissed with heavy lidded eyes that looked over Ryan’s own hungry gaze, “I want you.”

Ryan bit his lips, the look on his face really debating their situation, “...I really want you too…but you really… really need to recov-”

Ray smirked, Ryan was on the edge of throwing away his bullshit reasons and he knew a way to throw him over the edge, “ Hazme el amor, papi.”

Ryan groaned, his hand on Ray’s thigh gripped a little tighter, “... What did you just say?”

“Guess.” Ray challenged him.

“I don’t need to I just want to hear you say more.” He corrected, going in for Ray’s neck again, sucking on the skin there.

“Se puede manejarme? Huh?” Ray questioned with what phrases and words he could recall. He was rusty but he hadn’t actually wanted to speak spanish so badly before. Despite his pronunciation bringing shame upon his ancestors, it did the trick. Ryan moaned, leaving love bites all over Ray’s neck. His hand moved up Ray body, under his shirt. His large hand covered Ray’s chest easily, making him feel small but safe under the new warmth there. Ray had to go back to english just so he could tell Ryan to keep going, “Help me undress.”

“You sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, just… do it already.” Ray confirmed a little annoyed at how slow Ryan was going.

Ryan certainly sped up after his brief hesitation. He grabbed the hem of Ray’s shirt and pulled it up and over his head. Ray got a sudden chill from the cold air but luckily Ryan’s body covered him up quicker than he could become uncomfortable. Ray’s arms came down around Ryan’s neck, his fingertips curled in on fabric. For some reason, he found Ryan’s shirt offensive now. He gripped the hem there and moved to pull the shirt off. Ryan chuckled and let it be dragged over his head and making his arms lift up awkwardly. Ray tossed it behind himself while Ryan settled himself on top of him again. A huge, warm chest pressed up against Ray making sure he couldn’t complain about being cold.

Ryan stared at Ray skin for a moment, pleased and looking like he couldn’t decided what he liked better. In the end his mouth found it’s way to Ray’s collarbone and started planting sloppy kisses along every dip. His hands came down to Ray’s hips, curling the tips of his index fingers underneath the button of Ray’s shorts. Ray’s heart fluttered in his chest from anticipation, they really  _ were  _ doing this.

He felt Ryan’s nimble fingers undo the button there, and move around the seperated material to grip by the hips. He came away from Ray’s chest, panting, and hovered tall over Ray’s smaller body. Ray looked up, eyes taking in Ryan’s own body now. He hadn’t seen Ryan without a shirt until now. He wasn’t some epitome of muscle but he was just perfect as himself. He was toned just enough for his build. He had no surplus of chest hair, just a enough along his pectorals and a light trail down his stomach. Tan lines from the summer sun out lined how parts of him were marked from different days but at his very core he was still pale. 

Looking up at Ryan’s face, he became quickly aware that his mouth was hanging open. He shut it while Ryan just smiled at him, expressive eyebrows bouncing suggestively at him, “You’re precious.” He said softly, gently moving the material down Ray’s legs. His eyes were trying to see every part of Ray at once. He was careful with Ray’s ankle, lifting it up gentle as he undressed him and set back down slowly into the sheets. He tossed Ray’s clothes and his own shirt off the bed before he started on the clasp of his own jeans. Ray just watched like it was a movie, a very satisfying movie, while he laid there, legs on either side of Ryan’s own.

                                      

Ray put a hand to his lips, hiding a bit of a smile when he saw that Ryan was the type to wear colorful briefs while he elected to wear boxers instead. He didn’t mind it, it was just an amusing observation, and a much more revealing one as well. He could see a nice curve of his thigh and a nice ass when he leaned to the side. Who knew there was an ass under all those jeans.

He didn’t get a lot of time to appreciate the glimpses he got when Ryan’s hands came over his thighs, scooping him up by the hips and bringing him close. Ray flushed when he felt his crotch pressed against Ryan. Without their pants he could feel a lot more of Ryan and became very nervous. Ryan was much bigger than he expected. Given his only other experience of feeling a man’s crotch against him was with Michael, Ryan had the both of them beat size-wise. Ryan gave him a worried look, “Ready? We can stop.”

“No.” Ray said unconvincingly, but serious all the same, “Don’t stop, I want us to do this.”

“You don’t sound so su-”

“I don’t care what I sound like, I mean it. I want you to fuck me.” Ray could say that with a straight face, the corners of his mouth twitched and frowned while he attempted to be as serious as possible, “...Just strip me down and let me be awkward…”

Ryan chuckled at that but did as he was told. Ray was thankful that Ryan was being cautious with him even though he clearly had been given consent already. It was good to know that if he wanted Ryan to stop, he would, but Ray also knew that there was no way he could be let all of this take place without being weird about it. This was not an area he had any practice or confidence with and all he wanted was for Ryan to take charge. As much as he wanted this, he had no idea what to do. 

Ryan lifted Ray’s legs up above him to take off his boxers and lowered them back down, looking over Ray’s body below him. He then shifted to take off his own and Ray caught a peek before he reached down to a bag on the floor by the bed. Ray waited nervously, thinking about what was going to happen and knowing that this was going to hurt. Ryan came back into view with a bottle full of what Ray presumed was lube because inbetween the cracks of his fingers was a foil packet wrapped condom. He was relieved to see the lube at any rate.

Ryan took in a heavy breath, “...This is going to feel weird.”

“I know.” Ray told him, watching Ryan pour the liquid on his fingers.

“Do you want a different position, or…”

Ray looked to the side, “I can’t… my ankle.”

“...Right...I’m just… I’m going to prepare you, to get you used to it a bit.”

“I know.” Ray repeated voice a little bit shaken.

“If anything hurts I want you to tell me.”

“Ryan,” Ray looked him in the eyes, “I want you to take charge. I can’t do this if you won’t do anything to me. I don’t…. I don’t know what to do...and I’m going to be weird about this the entire time, just… please don’t stop, we won’t get anywhere, I won’t get used to this if you stop.”

His pleading really struck a cord there, Ryan’s face set in determination and he separated Ray’s legs, much to his embarrassment, “Put you hands around me or on something you can hold onto, I’m going to go slow but it’s still going to hurt.”

Ray do so, choosing to curl his hand in the sheets. He would have reached up for Ryan’s neck but knew that would only make him more uncomfortable to attempt to keep his arms raised. When Ryan was sure he was ready enough, he situated Ray just right beneath him and place his hand into position, slowly pressing one of his finger in and coating the area with plenty of lube.

Ray gripped the sheets tightly and clenched his teeth, it did feel weird, it felt very weird. He was just glad it didn’t hurt yet but feeling his inner muscles being separated over and over again and being wet at the same time was just a very weird first experience into this. Slowly the strange feeling subsided and he relaxed, letting go on the sheets. This appeared to act as a sign to Ryan to add another finger in, starting the experience over again. This repeated with a third finger and once he was relaxed enough Ryan started to spreading his fingers a little and then curling them against him. Ray’s face scrunched up, confused by his actions, his fingers kept moving. Kept curling into him at different angles each time. He was about to ask how that was supposed to help when suddenly those fingers curled against something that sent a wave through him.

“OH MY G-...hhaaa…” Ray let out, mouth hanging open after the fact. He had not been expecting that but Ryan kept up the motion, getting the same spot over and over again and faster. Ray closed his eyes, letting out little moans and gasps with each motion, feeling himself getting harder and harder.

“Feel good?” Ryan asked.

Ray nodded, he understood how this was supposed to be enjoyable now, “Mmm-mmm...mmm…”

“Good.” Ryan said contentedly. With Ray’s response he removed his fingers and Ray actually let out an audible noise of disappointment, opening his eyes to look at Ryan for an answer as to why he stopped. As he did, he saw Ryan stroking himself, Ray’s nerves returned very quickly at the size of his dick. Ryan stopped to try and open the foil wrapper only for Ray to attempt to protest, but his voice fell short. Ryan looked at him expectantly, “...Something wrong.”

Ray blushed, he couldn’t believe the thought that crossed his mind, “...Don’t… don’t wear one.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him, “...Really?”

“You don’t have any diseases, right?”

“No, of course not, we’re all really careful.” Ryan said, a little defensive at that.

“Then don’t wear one,” Ray requested, “I want to… feel it…”

He couldn’t look Ryan in the eye when he said that but he could see Ryan staring at him in his peripherals, “...Okay then…,” Ryan agreed, “It’s going to be messy, you sure?”

Ray nodded.

“Alright then.” Ryan poured lube in his hand and prepared himself. Ray didn’t look back at him while he did it, already far too embarrassed. He only looked at Ryan when he came back over Ray, far closer than before. He planted kiss on Ray’s lips, a messy one, and Ray’s put his hand around his head. Fingers ran through Ryan’s hair. He felt Ryan’s hand go down over his own dick and start stroking him. The foreplay was appreciated and revealed itself to have other intentions when Ray felt Ryan’s tip press against him. 

He tried to separate himself from the kiss but Ryan swallowed his uncomfortable noises as he pressed in more. His stroking was a distraction for Ray as he got far enough that his head was all the way in. He parted from Ray’s lips to let him breath after that, continuing to give him slow strokes. Ray panted, his fingers dug into Ryan’s scalp from the pressure. His legs were shaking now, and his inner muscles clamped down on the intrusion. Ryan wanted patiently, he didn’t move any further, the look on his face was a mix of ecstasy and concentration.

“...Oh my god…” He finally let out, leaning down to kiss at Ray’s neck again, he was also shaking. Ray’s eyes lidded over, he got a swell of pride from breaking Ryan’s composure. 

Ray finally adjusted, loosening himself around Ryan, once he did, Ryan pushed in further, slowly. Ray couldn’t stop the loud vocal response to this, it was just so much to take in. He closed one eyes reflexively and moved his hands to Ryan’s shoulders where they took purchase in his skin. He could feel every inch of Ryan’s cock, ever dip in it’s shape, every bulge. Ryan didn’t force himself any further than what Ray’s body allowed but he did keep moving, once he got deep enough into Ray he backed out and came back in at a different angle. Ray realized he was looking for that same spot as before, seeking to make the experience a lot more pleasurable. Things did get easier as he kept going, Ray got used to the motions just as he had with the fingers and then, there it was.

Ryan found that spot again and Ray marked his success with an uncontrollable yelp that turned into a very pleased moan. With that Ryan began to speed up, gradually increasing his pace to a moderate speed. Each hit to that spot inside Ray drove him crazier with the speed, it hit him harder and made each thrust feel better than the one before. Soon he lost control of his voice, letting out moan after moan. Ryan was just as pleased with it all, letting out his own deep throated moans that made Ray’s own cock twitch from excitement. 

Ray started realizing he was getting closer and closer to climax, each thrust was was close to sending him over the edge. Ryan must have been too as he got even faster, his pace became uneven as if he was losing control of his thrusts now. He was stil very much in control now and gave Ray’s cock more strokes now, matching speed with his thrusting motions.

The mix of pleasure from different areas through Ra over the edge. His back and hips arched up, head going back, and inside clamping down hard around Ryan as he moan out loudly. He came on the both of them, it hit Ryan’s chest above him and splashed onto his own stomach. Ray couldn’t stop his bodies contractions and felt Ryan lose himself because of this. Ryan’s cocked buried itself deep inside of him against the tight muscles. Ray’s insides swelled and filled with the hot warm liquid but there was no room for it. It moved inside him, the force of Ryan’s flooding spilling out of his rim in the end. 

They both collapsed onto each other, breathing hot and heavy, bodies twitching. Ray felt dizzy and half there, but satisfied. Ryan started to pull out but Ray dug his nails in again. With one look at Ray he was able to gather that Ray didn’t want him out just yet. Ray felt full, so full, a few minutes ago he wouldn’t have thought he’d enjoy this feeling but now he knew he always wanted sex to end like this. 

Ryan did have to remove himself eventually. Once their shuddering ceased and they’d both calmed down, he slowly brought his cock back out, wet and slicked. Ray shuddered one final time as he felt it leave him empty. Ray’s eyes lidded over while Ryan settling against him, making him so warm and comfortable. He didn’t even noticed when everything went black on him.

                          

* * *

 

~

* * *

 

 Ray eyes were heavy when he finally opened them. A glance to his left revealed it was morning from the light shining through the window. A glance to his right and really just about most of his visual radius confirmed that last night was not a really amazing wet dream but an actual course of events that he was part of. Ryan was asleep next to him, wrapped flush around him. He was naked and still covered in sweat from the night before just as Ray could also feel the grime left behind on him. The scene was enough to give him a small swell of morning wood but he was too exhausted to let that continue. It did make him shift uncomfortably though. He tried to move his hips to a different angle only to get a sharp pain shock it’s way up his back.

In surprise and pain he let out a yelp and fell back into place. He wanted to move his legs now, feeling the fluids still inside of him move as he laid there but any motions of his lower body caused pain. Ryan woke up suddenly in response to his noise and blinked, bleary-eyed at the scene, confused. He caught sight of Ray’s labored, pained expression and sobered up to reality quickly.

“What’s wrong?”

Ray blinked at him, tears forming in his eyes. He couldn’t control the muscles in his lower body, they contracted against the pain, making him experience it in waves, “...It hurts…”

Ray’s voice didn’t sound any better that it had the day before, blown out this time from his loud exclamations instead of smoke inhalation now. It took Ryan a moment to put all the pieces together. He looked down to see Ray’s legs shaking and knew exactly what was wrong. He carefully helped Ray separate his legs and didn’t hesitate to start rubbing the muscles of his inner thighs and then beneath him at his tailbone. After a moment of this, it did start to help. The throbbing pain ceased to a dull thrum as Ryan kept massaging him.

Ray let out a relieved breath, “... That feels… better…”

“There’s always pain when you haven’t been fucked in a long time. It gets easier.” Ryan assured him, “What you need is a bath now, it will help… it will also help clean up the mess I...um… sorry about that.”

Ray shook his head, “No, it felt good… at the time…”

Ryan gave him a smile, “Come on, let’s both get cleaned up, I’m pretty gross too.”

* * *

 

Ryan was right, a bath had been exactly what he needed. Once he was out and they were getting ready for the day, he felt much better, although if anyone noticed they’d think his ankle must have gotten worse judging by his walk. 

Ryan was busy packing up their things when there was a knock at the door. Before either of them responded, the door opened, and Ryan looked irritated that he forgot about that. Michael was in their doorway, one look at them seemed to confirm all he wanted to know, he raised eyebrows at Ryan with a cheshire style grin, “Early to bed do anything for you?”

Ryan grabbed a shirt of his and threw it at Michael, “Out!”

Michael threw it back, laughing his overly amused, laugh as he let the door shut and moved on.

“That asshole.” Ryan sighed.

“He… um?” Ray half asked, knowing Ryan knew what he meant.

“He heard us last night,” Ryan confirmed, “Paper thin walls. Get ready to hear sex jokes all day… maybe all week.”

Ray smiled at Ryan’s irritation, “I’ll take it in strides, last night was… fucking amazing…”

Ryan couldn’t stop the small, pleased smile from crawling on his face from that. His eyebrows bounced knowingly at him and Ray gave a laugh. His eyebrows were so expressive when he was happy.

* * *

 

They left the motel room with all of their things, ready to get out of there and on to something new. The group rest of the group was gathered by the cars in the parking lot, debating on where they were going to start heading towards. Ray followed Ryan wherever he went though, very unstable on his own two feet still. They checked out of their room before joining the others. Just as expected, they were greeted with cat calls and cheers. All over they were congratulated on having sex.

Ryan was a little irritated at their jokes but Ray did as he said and owned it, he told them all flat, it was a great night and a great first time despite all the painful parts. Overall, he was pleased and the others got pretty excited about it all. Michael and Gavin wanted to hear  _ all  _ the details, of course.

When things finally got serious once more, Ray watched as they all decided on where to go. The general census was Austin, Texas for them. Just as they’d told Ray before, it was a common place for them, at least at the start of their time away from fire watching. Ray just listened in, not particularly concerned with the destination. All he cared about was staying next to Ryan, staying with the group, and going wherever any of them go.

As if on cue, Ray’s phone started ringing, and he excused himself from the group, using the side of Ryan’s truck to keep himself balanced. He put his phone up to his ear, not too surprised by who spoke.

“Hello?”

“Ray, hello honey, are you awake? You didn’t call me back, how did it go with the police?” His mom started with a barrage of questions. He grimaced, he had completely forgotten to tell her about the events that happened since he was in the hospital.

“Fine, mom, everything’s fine. They just wanted to get my side of the story.” Ray told her.

“Did they find him?” She asked, worried. Ray’s teeth clenched at the memory of him.

“...No, but they’re still looking.”

“How have they not found him-” She started herself a rant and Ray moved the phone away from his ear a minute.

“It’s a big forest, mom.” He told her from a distance. It didn’t slowe here down at all. She kept going and Ray waited until she calmed back down to put the phone near his ear again, “They’re seriously looking for him mom, don’t worry. I’m not in danger or anything, I’ve been with someone every second since I left the hospital.”

She grew quietly concerned at this, “Who?”

Ray blushed, how was he going to explain Ryan to her, he wasn’t exactly ready to come out to her just yet, “...Um… Ryan, one of the firewatchers. Actually, I’ve been with all of the firewatchers I’ve worked with.” 

It wasn’t a lie anyways.

“I thought you said they left.”

“I did. I thought they were gone. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out of the hospital,” Ray answered, “We’ve really gotten along and…,” Ray looked back towards the others, “I don’t think I’ve ever had greater friends before.”

“... Well I’m glad you put yourself out more while you’ve been out there. You’ve never been very good at making friends.”

‘Friends’, yeah right, Ray thought.

“Ray, I hate to speed this up but I have to get back to work soon. I need to know when are coming home, honey, do you know what time your flight will arrive?”

“Oh… uh…,” Ray looked back at the others again, the others he couldn’t bear to leave, especially not Ryan, “...Actually mom… I think I’m going to stay with these guys. We um… we talked about staying together after the summer and… now that we’re all out here together… At least for a little while, I can take a flight back out to New York later.”

She was quiet. Ray laughed nervously and kept going, “We’re planning to go to Austin, Texas… I figured, it might be fun to see more for a while,” Ray waited but still got no answer, “Are you mad at me?”

“...No,” She finally answered, “I’m just surprised. Last time we talked your were crying your friends left you now you’re going with them…”

Ray bit his lip, “Do you not want me to go with them?”

She was quiet for another minute, “....I want you to be safe, Ray.”

“I will be.”

“Will you? You’re just going to go traveling with people you barely know.”

“I know them, mom, it’s safe.”

She let out a stressed sigh,”... Do you trust them? Really trust them?”

Ray became serious, he nodded, “More than anyone. Except you.”

She let out another sigh, quiet for a moment, debating what to say next. She relented in the end, “...You’re an adult. You can choose to do whatever you like. If this is the path you choose, then this is where you’ll go.”

Ray smiled at her answer, “Thanks mom.”

“Just be careful,” She warned, “And you better call me, I want to hear everything.”

Ray laughed, “I will mom, I will…”

“I have to go back to work now, lunch is over. Be safe, honey.” She told him.

“I will, mom.” Ray assured, knowing he had nothing to worry about.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, mom.”

“Good bye.”

“Bye.”

She ended the call and Ray relaxed, returning to the group. Ryan looked at him curiously.

“Who was that?”

“My mom.” Ray told him.

“...And?” Ryan asked, suddenly expecting the worse.

“And I told her I wouldn’t be coming back home, that I was staying with all of you.” Ray relayed.

“Did you tell her about…” Ray pointed between them, gesturing to imply their relationship.

“No Ryan, I didn’t tell my mom you fucked my brains out last night.” Ray stated bluntly but in jest, getting the attention of everyone in the group, and one pedestrian in the parking lot who happened to be passing and started walking even faster after hearing that, “She doesn’t know and… I’m not really up to coming out just yet.”

“So… you’re staying with us then? For sure?” Ryan continued, a smile on his face at Ray’s joking nature.

Ray looked at all of them and then back to Ryan. His words came sure and confident, “No one in this world could stop me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it all finally comes to an end. At least for now. Remember, I plan to make a follow up story. Many of the problems that sudden;y become apparent will be brought up in that, particularly Ray facing his new problems.
> 
> But for now, thank you all for reading, commenting, supporting, and enjoying this. I enjoyed and do still enjoy reading all of your comments, they've meant the world to me and are honestly probably the only reason this was finished in the first place. You've all help keep me invested and on track and this is the final product of that. This has been fun and I'm sure will continue to be fun as I write more stories, though hopefully the next won't take me over a year to finish '~'
> 
> Extra things  
> Sorry to peeps who love Joel. Someone had to be the baddy.   
> Anti-climactic end for the villain one might say, who says I'm done with him I say.  
> Also it was 2 am when I did the drawings for this and the previous chapter, at 2 am I don't give a fuck about Gavin's stupid fucking face, shut up! My sketches prove nothing of my actual artistic abilities, they are thumbnails. 
> 
> I have a few extras I want to post on another chapter link right after this one if you want to check out some extras.


	15. EXTRAS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just some extra stuff I said I'd include or wanted to include to explain somethings.

Why bracelets?

I took inspiration from myself on this one. I have metal, chainmail bracelets I make and wear 24/7. They each mean something significant. Each one has a different bond because I made them with or for certain people. I have one I made for friendship, I made several friends an identical one. The shiny one with the little red gem on it is for family, I made it with my mother. One on my right wrist was given to me by someone I want to remember. So from that I thought it would be kind of cute for them to reflect that.

 

I made this during last semester when I was making pieces for my BA show. This one didn't make it in but for a time, Ryan became my muse. In all fairness this is not my best piece. I started this one early last semester and since then I've gotten loads better than this. Still brings a smile to my face though :D

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this fic. Feedback is appreciated, I apoligize for grammatical errors, grammer isn't my strong point, I just like coming up with stories. So if you catch something to fix please tell me, I'd like to fix things.


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